Episode 409 Scott Adams: The News is Becoming Friendlier to President Trump Lately

Topics: 

  • Border budget negotiators report they might approve 2Billion
    • Tell us what the EXPERTS say we need, and what it costs
    • Is what you’re approving…what the experts say is needed?
  • Nobody cares about “percentages of crime”, when they’re a victim
    • I’ve been robbed but it’s okay.  I’m in a low crime area
  • Annexing Mexico into America, should we?
    • The cartels are running the country to a large degree
  • “Turnaround Groups” for stabilization of failing countries?
    • UN controlled, a country applies to them for assistance
    • A neutral organization of turnaround specialists goes in
    • Limited time, they do a government reorganization
    • NO outside military presence imposing new government
  • Mike Cernovich and the New Green Deal
    • Mike says the New Green Deal is brilliant
    • They’re big ideas that we have no idea how to accomplish
    • The fact that it’s impossible is what focuses energy
  • Republicans SHOULD embrace the New Green Deal objectives
    • Less regulations and other conservative ideals mesh nicely
  • If we have functional fusion energy within 20 years…
    • …will you still be concerned about climate change?
  • The personal relationship between Kim Jong-Un and President Trump
    • President Trump removed the REASON for NK nukes
    • What other American President could have credibly said…
    • …Hey Kim, let’s be friends!

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Nipsey Hussle ft. Stacy Brathe “Victory Lap,” Troy Ave “Who I’m Becoming” & More | Daily Visuals 12.31.18

Rolling Loud Los Angeles 2018

Source: Scott Dudelson / Getty

On the low, Nipsey Hussle had one of the year’s best rap albums in Victory Lap and though he made more noise with his hand of God slap at the BET Awards, he’s still out to prove his music is what Y’all need to pay attention to.

Today. the LA rapper dropped the clip for the title track to his album in which he goes south of the border to Mexico to soak in the Central American sun while riding boats and posing next to the Aztec pyramids.

Back in Brooklyn, Troy Ave continues to make the most of his freedom as he blesses kids with school supplies and goes golfing in the visual to “Who I’m Becoming.”

Check out the rest of today’s drops and some joints you might’ve missed over the weekend including work from 8Ball & MJG, Fatboy SSE featuring Lil Tjay, and more.

NIPSEY HUSSLE FT. STACY BRATHE – “VICTORY LAP”

TROY AVE – “WHO I’M BECOMING”

8BALL & MJG – “TAKE A PICTURE”

FATBOY SSE FT. LIL TJAY – “STREET”

CUBAN DOLL – “F*CK BOY FREE”

POPCAAN FT. DAVIDO – “DUN RICH”

The Latest Hip-Hop News, Music and Media | Hip-Hop Wired

Will Smith Says He & His Son Trey ‘Struggled For Years’ Before Becoming Best Friends

The great relationship between Will Smith and his oldest son didn’t exactly come easy. The superstar admitted that 26-year-old Trey “felt betrayed & abandoned” when he and ex-wife Sheree Zampino split in 1995, but after years of rebuilding the two are now best friends. Watch how Will played it cool when keeping his emotions in check while recalling the emotional story.


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Michael Blackson Says Kim Kardashian Should Thank Ray J, Ecstasy for Becoming Famous

[[tmz:video id=”0_o7qe71wp”]] Michael Blackson thinks Kim Kardashian should quit blaming ecstasy and spend way more time sucking up to Ray J for his sizable role in launching her celebrity.  We got the comedian at LAX Tuesday and…

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All Your Faves Are Becoming BROCKHAMPTON Stans After Hearing ‘Iridescence’

BROCKHAMPTON released their first major label album, ‘iridescence’ and Diplo, Olly Alexander and Halsey tweeted their support.
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Bachelor Nation Reacts to Becca Kufrin Becoming the Next Bachelorette

Becca, The BachelorIt’s time for Becca Kufrin to have a second chance at love.
During tonight’s live edition of The Bachelor: After the Final Rose, Chris Harrison revealed big news regarding the…


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Becoming His – Mariah Dietz

Mariah Dietz - Becoming His  artwork

Becoming His

Mariah Dietz

Genre: Fiction & Literature

Publish Date: December 1, 2014

Publisher: Mariah Dietz

Seller: Mariah Dietz


Sometimes life’s unforeseen paths lead us to discovering sides of ourselves we never knew existed.  Ace Bosse has always found solace at home, but when she returns for the summer from college she builds an unexpected relationship with the reckless Max Miller.  Three years ago, Max left for Alaska to find what he thought he’d lost, but now he realizes just how much he left behind.  Max teaches Ace that sometimes a little crazy is exactly what life needs while learning that some chances are worth taking, regardless of the risks.  But how do you know when you’ve met the right person? And will they be prepared to experience one of life’s biggest obstacles?  Falling in love isn’t easy, but holding on to it is where the real challenge lies.

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Becoming Human – Eliza Green

Eliza Green - Becoming Human  artwork

Becoming Human

Series: Exilon 5, Book 1

Eliza Green

Genre: Sci-Fi & Fantasy

Publish Date: March 11, 2013

Publisher: Eliza Green

Seller: Smashwords


A VENDETTA. A DESIRE FOR FREEDOM. A SECRET THAT WILL CHANGE EVERYTHING. In 2163, a polluted and overcrowded Earth forces humans to search for a new home. But the exoplanet they target, Exilon 5, is occupied. Having already begun a massive relocation programme, the World Government on Earth sends Bill Taggart to monitor the threat level of the Indigenes, the alien race that lives on Exilon 5. Bill is a man on the edge. He believes the Indigenes killed his wife, but he doesn’t know why. Until now. Stephen has every reason to despise the humans and their attempts to colonise his planet. To protect his species from further harm, he must go against his very nature and become human. Laura O’Halloran is losing her daily battle with Seasonal Affective Disorder. Her only chance at recovery is leaving the dark Earth for the sunnier climate of Exilon 5. She hopes her credentials as a World Government employee will secure her a one-way trip, but with the ever increasing relocation demand that is not a guarantee. Her discovery of a deadly secret threatens her life and that of Bill and Stephen. A secret so great it could rip apart both worlds. Becoming Human, part one in the Exilon 5 series, is a dystopian action adventure that you won’t want to put down.

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A Gentleman’s Guide To Becoming A Supervillain

A Gentleman’s Guide To Becoming A Supervillain

A Gentleman’s Guide To Becoming A Sup…
When running your lucrative business, it is imperative to maintain certain societal standards. The same rules apply when running the world.
Submitted by: Gentleman’s Guide
Regular
Keywords: A Gentleman’s Guide To Becoming A Supervillain gentleman's guide supervillain running the world superheroes heroes villains rich villains rich super villain
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Becoming Us – Amy Daws

Amy Daws - Becoming Us  artwork

Becoming Us

Amy Daws

Genre: Romance

Publish Date: January 12, 2015

Publisher: Stars Hollow Publishing

Seller: Lulu Enterprises, Inc.


The dreaded friend-zone… The last place I ever want to be with college basketball God, Jake LaShae. I am losing my mind trying to figure out what this gorgeous and confident man wants from me. I need to break through his walls. What is it about me that makes him not go there? What am I lacking? When a mind-blowing betrayal knocks the wind out of me, and I think I can't feel any lower…Brody stumbles into my path—barefoot no less, and sexy as hell. His direct and mouth-watering swagger is a breath of fresh air. The feelings this man gives me are like nothing I've ever experienced. But Brody has a past. A past that makes it nearly impossible for him to trust me and let us become us in whatever capacity that may be. Just when Brody and I truly connect, just when I think that finding my soul-mate in college isn't a total joke, Jake comes back into my life…and messes things up…possibly for good.

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Becoming – Giants & Pilgrims


Becoming
Giants & Pilgrims

Release Date:
October 6, 2015
Total Songs:
11

Genre:
Alternative

Price:
$ 9.99

Copyright
℗ 2015 BandWagon Records


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Becoming Jane – Jane Austen

Jane Austen - Becoming Jane  artwork

Becoming Jane

Jane Austen

Genre: Romance

Price: $ 8.99

Rental Price: $ 2.99

Release Date: August 10, 2007


Anne Hathaway gives a radiant performance as a young, lovestruck Jane Austen in the witty and engaging romantic comedy Becoming Jane. It's the untold romance that inspired the novels of one of the worlds most celebrated authors. When the dashing Tom Lefroy a reckless and penniless lawyertobe, enters Jane's life, he offends the emerging writer s sense and sensibility. Soon their clashing egos set off sparks that ignite a passionate romance and fuel Jane s dream of doing the unthinkable marrying for love.

© © 2011 Miramax

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Hilary Duff and Haylie Duff’s Kids Are Quickly Becoming Hollywood’s Cutest Cousins—Watch Now!

It’s safe to say Hilary Duff and Haylie Duff’s children are on their way to becoming BFFs.

Sure, Haylie just welcomed her daughter Ryan three months ago. And yes, Hilary’s…


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Chace Crawford & Rebecca Rittenhouse Becoming ‘Blood And Oil’ Power Couple?

Chace Crawford (Billy LeFever) and Rebecca Rittenhouse (Kelly LeFever) tease their relationship and filming in Park City, Utah for ABC’s ‘Blood and Oil.’


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Stacy Barthe, Songwriter for Rihanna and Katy Perry, Talks Motown Debut ‘BEcoming’

A member of Motown’s next generation, Stacy Barthe has already racked up some impressive credits.
Those include penning songs for Rihanna (“Cheers […
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Why High Intensity Interval Training Is Becoming the Go-To Couple’s Workout

If you've ever tried to work out with your guy, you've likely found that your favorite barre class might not appeal to him, and his Rocky-inspired punching bag drills might not be what you're looking…


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BEcoming – Stacy Barthe

Stacy Barthe - BEcoming  artwork

BEcoming

Stacy Barthe

Genre: R&B/Soul

Price: $ 9.99

Expected Release Date: July 10, 2015

© ℗ 2015 Motown Records, a Division of UMG Recordings, Inc.

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Ninjas for Beginners: 10 Days to Becoming a Ninja: How to Drop Everything You Are Doing and Become a Ninja (Unabridged) – Mike Fury

Mike Fury - Ninjas for Beginners: 10 Days to Becoming a Ninja: How to Drop Everything You Are Doing and Become a Ninja (Unabridged)  artwork

Ninjas for Beginners: 10 Days to Becoming a Ninja: How to Drop Everything You Are Doing and Become a Ninja (Unabridged)

Mike Fury

Genre: Comedy

Price: $ 5.95

Publish Date: June 23, 2015

© ℗ © 2015 Mike Fury

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Get Excited, ‘The O.C.’ Is Becoming A Musical

Californiaaa, here we comeeee!

Forget the reboot — we’re now in the era of the musical adaptation. After news of a “Full House” musical and “Clueless” musical, “The O.C.” is the latest TV show to get the on-stage treatment, according to Variety. The teen drama, which originally ran from 2003 to 2007 on Fox, is being turned into a musical in Los Angeles. The sad news? The show will only run for one night on Aug. 30.

“The O.C. Musical” comes from the producers behind “Cruel Intentions: The Musical,” with Jordan Ross directing and Lindsey Rosin producing. They’ve even set up a Twitter account to share updates on the special production. So far, we know the show will feature characters Seth Cohen, Luke Ward, Sandy Cohen, Kirsten Cohen and show creator Josh Schwartz — played by BuzzFeed’s senior entertainment editor, Jarett Wieselman. Here’s what else we know:

Who’s playing Luke Ward:

…and Sandy Cohen:

Though they haven’t cast Seth Cohen yet:


The show will feature songs from the series, such as “Paint the Silence” when Marissa and Ryan kissed on a Ferris wheel:


There will be a Death Cab for Cutie cover:


The show takes place before Taylor Townsend joined in Season 3:


Sadly, the won’t be any Chrismukkah in the musical:


Keep your eye on The O.C. Musical’s Twitter account for more details.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.



Comedy – The Huffington Post
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The Problem With Becoming a ‘Professional’ Christian

When we look at church history, as well as the modern church, it seems to me that many of the problems have grown out of believers receiving a salary from other believers. The concept of being paid to be a believer, a ‘professional believer’ of sorts, has historically resulted in church leaders not only failing to understand the gospel, but, instead, subtly or overtly enforcing a mixed gospel (one that causes no conflict to either the congregation’s religious comfort nor the preacher’s job security) upon the very people who are paying them.

It is a problematic circle. For if the ‘paid believer’ is to grow in his understanding of the gospel, it will result in his theology evolving and changing, sometimes quite dramatically, and this will inevitably challenge those who he shares it with, and in doing so they will most likely remove their financial support, for fear they are financially supporting a heretic (for everything people can not immediately understand is considered heresy).

More than this, the notion of ‘full-time paid ministers’ creates the illusion that these people must know more than the average believer because they have more time to study. But, again, what does history show us? It shows us that the only preachers who even came close to the truth of the gospel were persecuted and, in many cases, violently murdered by the paid church leaders. Those who spent all their days studying the Scriptures could not see the gospel even if it was right in front of their face. More than that, they aggressively persecuted those who could see it, those who dared to share it with the greater body of Christ.

2015-06-15-1434404673-9759939-photodune1860048professionalteamxs.jpg

We are all the same when it comes to protecting our jobs and income streams. We all need to look after our families. We all need to make sure the money is there to pay the rent and feed the family. But, in my opinion, when your income is connected directly to your faith a serious problem arises, for the protection instinct we all have within us, regardless of how we make a financial living, directly interferes with and overpowers the journey to come into the full freedom of the gospel.

Personally, I don’t think it is possible to enter into the full freedom Christ gave us while within a religious system; the reason being, that your freedom will challenge the very structure itself. While the people within may very well welcome the change, those being paid to administer/manage the system will not (and they are the ones setting the tone for the whole community), for they will be out of a job, and also out of a position of authority and respect.

I think that Jesus came to break us free from this very concept of relating to God and one another via an institution. Jesus made the way to come directly to both God and others without the need for an external mediator, without clergymen and pulpits. Jesus made a way for us to have faith in God without the structure of religion hedging us in.

It sometimes makes me wonder if following Jesus didn’t turn into a profitable empire — where entrepreneurial types could so easily make a healthy living out of controlling pockets of the empire and receiving endless donations to build the Jesus-empire in the name of their chosen ministry — I wonder how the average Christian would live like in society today. I wonder if the whole world would be a healthier place. More than that, I wonder how much freer Christians would be?

It seems that, as a Christ-follower, after we get out of organized religion, we spend years, maybe our whole lives even, trying to get that religion out of us. Physically stepping out of the walls of the institutional-Christian-empire is relatively easy compared to emotionally uprooting those walls and getting them out of our own hearts and minds.

But what if there were no walls to begin with? Would we have entered into Christ and have been free from the start, and have stayed free? For the past 2,000 years, would we have made a greater impact in the world by not trying to rule it and obsess over empire-building, but rather by truly living it with the fullness of love God has deposited within us? Would we have let love be our guiding light instead of another man’s religious vision for institutional construction of one religious building after the next?

Article by Mick Mooney. You can connect with Mick on his facebook page.
Latest book by Mick: An Outsider’s Guide to the Gospel

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

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Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson’s Daughter Maxwell Is Quickly Becoming Hollywood’s Cutest BFF—Take a Look!

Jessica Simpson, InstagramCan we ask for a playdate with Maxwell too?

There’s no question that Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson created beautiful kids. But while enjoying a few playdates with some famous…


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David Duchovny On Becoming Involved With NBC Drama ‘Aquarius’

David Duchovny tells Access about becoming involved in front of and behind the camera for the NBC drama, ‘Aquarius,’ revolving around Charles Manson.


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Nerd Do Well: A Small Boy’s Journey to Becoming a Big Kid – Simon Pegg

Simon Pegg - Nerd Do Well: A Small Boy's Journey to Becoming a Big Kid  artwork

Nerd Do Well: A Small Boy’s Journey to Becoming a Big Kid

Simon Pegg

Genre: Arts & Entertainment

Price: $ 20.95

Publish Date: June 9, 2011

© ℗ © 2011 Penguin Audio

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Style Notes: Pharrell to Launch New Adidas Collection; ‘Lucky’ Mag is Becoming a Quarterly


Your daily fashion fix.

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Style

Meet Ingrid Nilsen: Becoming a YouTube Sensation and Supporting Women Across the Globe

Ingrid Nilsen’s popularity reaches into the millions. She’s a top YouTuber — one of an elite cadre of young video stars whose focus on makeup, fashion, and lifestyle attract a vast audience of girls and young women.

In an interview with HuffPost, Ingrid displayed her belief that beauty is much more than skin deep.

Michael: You’re essentially a very private person who has found herself thrust into about as public an arena as there could be.

Ingrid: That’s exactly right. It is interesting to be in this space, because I know other YouTubers as well who are definitely even more private than I am. We’ve found ourselves in this space where our jobs are very much in the public eye, so it’s a bit of a challenge to find that balance, but I think everybody eventually figures out what works for them.

Michael: So you get to dictate where the line is.

Ingrid: It is nice to have that option where I can kind of carve my own path. And it’s not like I’m walking outside of my house and people are waiting outside for me, because that would be absolutely terrifying. I wouldn’t be comfortable with that level of attention. I love the relationship I have with my viewers because they’re always kind and respectful.

Michael: You’ve gone from doing videos that are strictly fashion and makeup to more introspective pieces. Tell me about that transition.

Ingrid: Another YouTuber creator said it best: “Your viewers are both your peers and your boss.” So it’s an interesting relationship to have, and you want people to like what you create. But you also need to do what’s meaningful for you, and I just really had to sit down and think, what is meaningful to me right now? What is going to bring me fulfillment? And I just kind of crossed my fingers and hoped that people would like it, but if it wasn’t getting billions of views, but there were a handful of people that really connected with it, that’s all I really wanted. And that’s all I’ve ever wanted.

Michael: What prompted the shift?

Ingrid: Last year was my biggest transitional phase, because I was 25, and like most people smack-dab in the middle of their 20s, I was figuring out who I am, and re-examining what I’m doing. It really took a lot of thought. I wanted to create things that were meaningful and a true reflection of where I am in my life. I wanted that to come across in video, but I wasn’t sure how to do that.

And it just took time to get inspiration and to figure it all out mentally, and to figure myself out also. And there definitely is that pressure of “I have to keep up with the pack! Everything is moving so quickly, and I need to keep up so I don’t fall behind!” But I think that it was more important to me to follow the transitional phase, as confusing as it was for me, and create something really awesome out of it, and turning it into something that I could look back on and be proud of.

Michael: Sounds like the beginning of a trend.

Ingrid: We will see a lot more of that as creators on Youtube continue to grow up, because there are still people in their teens and going from that transition to being in your 20s, and people in their 20s growing up. You’re 20s just in general are weird, because you’re no longer a kid, but you kind of feel like…am I really an adult? Is this really what adult life is like? So it’s an interesting time and I’m definitely still figuring it all out, one step at a time. But it’s been a cool journey for sure.

Michael: A soul-searching kind of journey.

Ingrid: Soul-searching is the perfect way to describe it all. My friends around my age are going through the same thing and no one really knows how to vocalize it. It’s like this internal struggle that everybody is going through.

Michael: What were the biggest takeaways from the introspective time?

Ingrid: The #1 thing is stop worrying about what everybody else is going to think. In addition, I’ve realized that my lifestyle has changed over time naturally, as it does especially as you get older. And I’ve really started to embrace a “less is more” philosophy. Living with less in turn allows me more space to do the things that are really meaningful to me. And when I’m not worried about all the material stuff, I can focus on the things that either bring me joy or serve a purpose or a combination of both. It’s been something so helpful for me, and it’s really helped clear my mind.

Michael: How has this been reflected in your videos?

Ingrid: I’ve been changing around the format of my videos so there’s more of a storytelling element, where I’m sharing personal experiences and personal stories, and integrating that into my videos, with really great shooting and almost like a film quality to them. That was something I wasn’t sure how people were going to react to. When I started producing stuff that wasn’t just a 100 percent beauty video, and talking about things in a different way, it has been absolutely incredible to see the response. I have just never been so moved by my viewers ever…ever in all the five years I’ve been doing this, and it just made me want to give all of them a hug, because I felt like we were all on the same page. It’s just the most amazing feeling.

Michael: You felt a need to go deeper and it actually corresponded with your audience’s unspoken desire, to go deeper in their own lives.

Ingrid: That is totally true, because from the beginning I’ve always said that I believe that beauty is more than skin deep, and my channel has just been a way for me to really experiment with that and translate that message into video form.

Michael: Where do you see yourself going from here?

Ingrid: My overall goal with all of this is to create a community where I can support women with incredible talents. Whether it’s undiscovered writers, or lesser known artists, and creating a community where that is possible and those women can be supported and their work can be shared. That’s what I’m about. And I would love to have a brand with physical objects that reflect all of that. So it’s all kind of a little bit vague right now, but essentially I want to create a really amazing community of women that have something awesome to share with the world, and I want
to help them share that.

Michael: Beauty and makeup brought you to a position of prominence and created awareness about you, and as a result of having that platform, you’re now in the position where you can speak to broader, deeper issues that affect women you age.

Ingrid: Yes, definitely. And there are still plenty of times where I can make a video and talk about beauty products and just be a girl, and sit down and talk like I’m talking to my girlfriends. So it’s just a really great balance to have, because I can dive deep and I can also talk about a pair of shoes that I’ve really loved wearing for the past month. And I feel like that is the dream combination.
Style – The Huffington Post
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Becoming Attractions: Zella Day Gets Close and Personal

In Playboy’s April 2015 issues, upcoming indie-pop songstress Zella Day was the focus of our Becoming Attraction’s feature. With an anticipated album coming out on June 2nd, the Los Angeles-based singer blends modern pop with bohemian, and has the looks to match with her talent. See her full gallery here: http://ply.by/iy09MD
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How David Oyelowo Sold His Father on the Idea of Becoming an Actor | Oprah Prime | OWN

David Oyelowo, 38, stars as Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. in the film Selma. Born in England and raised in his parents’ native Nigeria, David earned a scholarship to the distinguished London Academy of Music and Dramatic Arts and went on to become the first black actor to play an English king at the Royal Shakespeare Company. Still, David says his father wasn’t totally supportive when he first told him he wanted to be an actor after “sneakily applying for drama school.”

“Being an artist, being an actor for a Nigerian family, is bizarre,” he says. “This is not a proper job.” In the video above, David shares the key argument that changed his father’s mind.

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Nicki Minaj — Ex-Boyfriend Becoming Suicidal Over Breakup

The ex-boyfriend of Nicki Minaj is taking their break-up INCREDIBLY hard … to the point he’s having suicidal thoughts. Safaree Samuels is confiding in friends that he’s an emotional wreck over his breakup with Nicki after a 12-year…

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Your Gay vs. My Gay: Coming Out and Becoming a Better Parent

I came out in the early 1980s — into a thriving lesbian community that was fueled by the feminist movement and had some overlap with the gay male community. I always knew that there were different realities for gay people and that many still were in the closet. I dismissed these realities as not being connected to mine. It wasn’t until I met Bonnie Kaye, M.Ed., and read her books (her latest is a memoir, Jennifer, Needle in Her Arm: Healing From the Hell of My Daughter’s Drug Addiction) that I began to reconsider.

Kaye is an internationally known author and counselor to straight women who are married to gay men. She also counsels closeted gay men on how honesty can help them and their female spouses.

An opinion piece in The New York Times reports that “the openly gay population is dramatically higher in more tolerant states….” Based on factual research, the author concludes, “The evidence also suggests that a large number of gay men are married to women.”

Of course, there are also many closeted lesbians who are married to straight men, something that was documented on The Huffington Post.

There are many similarities, but there are also some differences. Every relationship is different. But I came to the conclusion that homophobia is hurting us all — the straight spouses, the closeted gay or lesbian spouse, the children and particularly the children of closeted gay parents who identify as LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or questioning). Ultimately I was left with more questions than answers. Here Bonnie answers them.

Janet Mason: Could you please explain the nature of your counseling work and how you came to be involved with it?

Bonnie Kaye, M.Ed.: My counseling work specializes in straight women who unknowingly married gay men, and gay men who were hoping they were straight and believed marriage would “cure” those attractions for other men. I started this counseling after the end of my own marriage to a gay man in 1978. Since that time, I have worked with over 100,000 people in this situation, 96 percent women and 4 percent gay men. I currently have a mailing list of over 7,000 people who receive my monthly newsletter.

Mason: What are some of the signs that straight women might be involved with and married to gay men?

Kaye: I have a checklist that is on my website at gayhusbands.com. The checklist includes a decline in sexual activity early in the marriage, a lack of interest in foreplay, unexplained absences of their husbands, a lack of emotional intimacy, viewing gay porn, extensive homophobic remarks, stating he’s “confused,” and accusing his wife of being too sexually aggressive.

Mason: When a woman discovers that her husband is gay, does the marriage necessarily have to end?

Kaye: I believe these marriages are toxic. Marriages are based on honest communication, intimacy on a physical and emotional level, and fidelity. A gay husband isn’t able to provide this to a woman in a sustaining way, as his urges to be with men heighten as the years go on. In many cases, the husband becomes either emotionally or physically abusive due to his frustration of being in the wrong place with the wrong gender. The marriage needs to end because both parties are losing out on what they deserve. However, families can be “redefined” after divorce and remain close as each partner has a chance to find his and her true soul mate.

Mason: Watching the HuffPost Live segment on the Straight Spouse Network, I noticed two things in particular. A gay man mentioned that he became a much better father after he came out, and a straight woman mentioned that her closeted gay ex-husband was homophobic for the 15 years of the marriage before he came out. What are your thoughts on this?

Kaye: Living a lie takes its toll on the whole family unit. They say that secrets destroy families, and this is certainly true. Most children are so sophisticated today that they learn the secret before their mothers do. Then they become keepers of the secret, which tears them apart. If they tell their mothers, they fear it will destroy her life. If they don’t tell her, they feel a sense of betrayal because their father is cheating.

Mason: There is an apt saying: “You’re only as sick as your secrets.” I’ve known several lesbian friends who have unsupportive closeted gay fathers. Could you elaborate on how having a closeted gay parent can be particularly damaging to someone who identifies as LGBTQ?

Kaye: Children who are gay struggle so much more with dishonest gay parents. Children can sense or know when they have a gay father. His rejection of their homosexuality makes their struggle that much more difficult. They start feeling that “If even my gay father won’t accept me, how will others?” In my recent book about my lesbian daughter’s life and early death from drugs, Jennifer, Needle in her Arm, I discuss how her gay father’s rejection of her lesbianism hurt her deeply. He called her dirty names on a regular basis and told her to make sure not to tell any of his business associates, in case they would think he was gay.

Mason: Obviously, society has to change for the temptation to pass as straight to lose its appeal. Meanwhile, straight spouses of gay partners have to protect themselves. Do you have any final words of advice?

Kaye: Straight spouses need to find support to go through this grieving process in order to move on. Gay partners have to learn that they have the responsibility to help with the collateral family damage that will take place once this revelation is out. The beginning is always filled with turmoil and angry feelings, but the goal should be to redefine the family but work together as much as possible. Sadly, many gay partners are so happy to finally be “free” they pursue what they feel they’ve missed for so many years and don’t provide that support.
Divorce – The Huffington Post

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