Your guide to stealing tossed pucks from children

Congrats, you caught a puck in the stands! You should probably give it to a child, right?
www.espn.com – NHL

Children of Dune (Unabridged) – Frank Herbert

Frank Herbert - Children of Dune (Unabridged)  artwork

Children of Dune (Unabridged)

Frank Herbert

Genre: Sci Fi & Fantasy

Price: $ 29.95

Publish Date: February 7, 2008

© ℗ © 2008 Macmillan Audio

iTunes Store: Top Audiobooks in Sci Fi & Fantasy

The Clan of the Cave Bear: Earth’s Children, Book 1 (Unabridged) – Jean M. Auel

Jean M. Auel - The Clan of the Cave Bear: Earth's Children, Book 1 (Unabridged)  artwork

The Clan of the Cave Bear: Earth’s Children, Book 1 (Unabridged)

Jean M. Auel

Genre: Sci Fi & Fantasy

Price: $ 25.95

Publish Date: June 5, 2008

© ℗ © 2008 Brilliance Audio

iTunes Store: Top Audiobooks in Sci Fi & Fantasy

TRYIN’ – EP – Radiant Children

Radiant Children - TRYIN' - EP  artwork

TRYIN’ – EP

Radiant Children

Genre: R&B/Soul

Price: $ 3.99

Release Date: August 24, 2018

© ℗ 2018 Radiant Children

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Ballet Music for Children and Kids – Ballet Dance Company

Ballet Dance Company - Ballet Music for Children and Kids  artwork

Ballet Music for Children and Kids

Ballet Dance Company

Genre: Instrumental

Price: $ 9.99

Release Date: September 2, 2010

© ℗ 2010 Equilibrium

iTunes Store: Top Albums in Instrumental

The Children Act – Richard Eyre

Richard Eyre - The Children Act  artwork

The Children Act

Richard Eyre

Genre: Thriller

Price: $ 14.99

Rental Price: $ 6.99

Expected Release Date: September 14, 2018


Smart, elegant, and deeply moving, The Children Act stars two-time Academy Award-winner Emma Thompson in a powerful and riveting performance as Fiona Maye, a British High Court judge who, in the midst of a marital crisis, must rule on a life-changing legal case concerning the survival of a teenage boy (Dunkirk’s Fionn Whitehead). Fiona is intensely dedicated to her profession, never finding time to have her own children while fully assuming the immense responsibility of making life-and-death decisions about the children of others. As Fiona is about to embark on one of the most challenging cases of her career, Jack (Stanley Tucci) her neglected and increasingly frustrated husband, makes a shocking revelation, sending her into an emotional tailspin. Adapted by Ian McEwan from his own novel, and directed by Richard Eyre (Notes on a Scandal, Iris), The Children Act is a deeply affecting and unforgettable portrait of strength, devotion, and love.

© © 2017 Free Choice, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

iTunes Store: Top Movies in Drama

Episode 133: The Epidemic of Trapped Children, SCOTUS, and Coffee

Topics: 

  • Strategy for dealing with personal attacks: “I block all Nazis, goodby”
  • Supreme Court nomination tonight…likely to include one or two bonus topics
  • Experts said: MUST avoid trade wars, have opinions changed?
  • Reticular activation – Noticing something everywhere once it’s on your mind
  • Kids in cages, kids in caves, kids in mental cages (Democrats)
  • President Trump’s persuasion play and the importance of HONOR
  • Elon Musk’s team creating tube for cave kids rescue

 

I fund my Periscopes and podcasts via audience micro-donations on Patreon. I prefer this method over accepting advertisements or working for a “boss” somewhere because it keeps my voice independent. No one owns me, and that is rare. I’m trying in my own way to make the world a better place, and your contributions help me stay inspired to do that.

See all of my Periscope videos here.

Find my WhenHub Interface app here.

 

The post Episode 133: The Epidemic of Trapped Children, SCOTUS, and Coffee appeared first on Dilbert Blog.


Dilbert Blog

Episode 124: Children in Cages (I.e. Democrats), New Master Persuader, socialism, NK and More

Topics: 

  • NBC report on NK cheating per “intelligence sources”
  • Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is a master persuader
  • Child like views of solutions for complex problems
  • President Trump’s adult view of cost and benefits
  • The root problem of gang controlled countries

 

I fund my Periscopes and podcasts via audience micro-donations on Patreon. I prefer this method over accepting advertisements or working for a “boss” somewhere because it keeps my voice independent. No one owns me, and that is rare. I’m trying in my own way to make the world a better place, and your contributions help me stay inspired to do that.

See all of my Periscope videos here.

Find my WhenHub Interface app here.

 

The post Episode 124: Children in Cages (I.e. Democrats), New Master Persuader, socialism, NK and More appeared first on Dilbert Blog.


Dilbert Blog

Episode 113: How Trump Handles the Children on CNN

Topics: 

  • President Trump paced his critics by giving them what they asked for
    • Did the President “cave”?
    • Did the American system of checks and balances work as designed?
    • Is this how negotiating works?
  • Morning Joe’s call for diversity
  • Gaslighting applies to all political parties
  • 95% Consumer confidence, highest ever recorded
    • The economy is driven by psychological phenomena
  • President Trump always leads with a “big ask”
  • Peter Fonda’s tweets
    • Why give him a pass for his disgusting comments?
  • Ana Navarro mocking people not policies
  • “Elite” joke by President Trump at rally last night
  • Are we seeing “happy hate” by President Trump’s critics?
  • Jeff Sessions response to questions
  • List of thinking errors
  • Is it getting more dangerous to be a Trump supporter?
    • DHS Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen getting heckled at dinner

 

I fund my Periscopes and podcasts via audience micro-donations on Patreon. I prefer this method over accepting advertisements or working for a “boss” somewhere because it keeps my voice independent. No one owns me, and that is rare. I’m trying in my own way to make the world a better place, and your contributions help me stay inspired to do that.

See all of my Periscope videos here.

Find my WhenHub Interface app here.

 

The post Episode 113: How Trump Handles the Children on CNN appeared first on Dilbert Blog.


Dilbert Blog

Episode 106: The Children in Cages

Topics: 

  • Kids in cages, bad…and nobody has a viable alternative?
    • Fraudulent, but deeply effective persuasion
    • Lacks factual accuracy
    • Untrue, misleading
    • Out of context
    • Could be solved tomorrow
    • Why is it so effective?  Cause facts don’t matter
  • Cognitive dissonance example: anti-Trump laundry lists
    • Their initial gigantic fears about President Trump didn’t manifest
    • But they’re the “smart ones” in the conversation
    • So new fears are needed to replace the faded ones
    • If you can’t find a sufficiently big fear, you need lots of little ones
  • George Lakoff’s dilemma
    • Highly qualified cognitive expert
    • He sees and understands that…
    • President Trump is using skill and experience consistently
    • But 99% of his side believe it’s just luck
    • George’s problem?  Facts don’t matter

 

I fund my Periscopes and podcasts via audience micro-donations on Patreon. I prefer this method over accepting advertisements or working for a “boss” somewhere because it keeps my voice independent. No one owns me, and that is rare. I’m trying in my own way to make the world a better place, and your contributions help me stay inspired to do that.

See all of my Periscope videos here.

Find my WhenHub Interface app here.

The post Episode 106: The Children in Cages appeared first on Dilbert Blog.


Dilbert Blog

Jewelers for Children Celebrates 20th Anniversary of Facets of Hope Event

Jewelers for Children will hold its Facets of Hope event on June 3 during the Couture trade show. This year’s honorees are Jeffrey Cohen of Citizen Watch America and Bill Luth of Signet Jewelers Ltd.
“Jeffrey and Bill represent two very large companies in the jewelry industry, both of which have been involved in Jewelers for Children since 1999. In fact, both companies were at the table when the idea of focusing on children in need was discussed and the concept for Jewelers for Children was born. Bill and Jeffrey are both very active in Jewelers for Children and in addition to important donations, they use their influence in the industry to encourage others to donate. There could not be two more deserving individuals to be honored,” said David Rocha, executive director of Jewelers for Children.
Since its inception, Jewelers for Children has been a part of the Couture trade show, and the 20th anniversary event celebrates the success of the group’s fund-raising efforts for the year, which according to Rocha tally “just under $ 2 million so far this year, with additional fund-raising activities happening in Las Vegas.”
“For years, I’ve been attending Jewelers for Children and never saw myself as being the

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Jeffrey Dean Morgan Opens Up About Delivering Both Of His Children

Jeffrey Dean Morgan is one hands-on dad!


Access Hollywood Latest News

Explaining The Pictures of Dinosaurs Having Sex To Your Children

Explaining The Pictures of Dinosaurs Having Sex To Your Children

Explaining The Pictures of Dinosaurs …
A study has revealed the positions in which paleontologists believe dinosaurs had sex. As kids love dinosaurs and are known to be inquisitive, here’s a handy guide for how to talk to your child about it.
Submitted by: A General Nonchalance
Regular
Keywords: sex sex positions sex pictures sex with dinosaurs dinosaurs dinosaur sex dinosaurs having sex dinosaur mating dinosaur sex study dinosaur sexual positions sex
Views: 966,071

Funny Or Die | Funny Videos, Funny Video Clips, Funny Pics

Jimmy Kimmel Calls On Congress, Trump To Take Action Against School Shootings: ‘Children Are Being Murdered’

Jimmy Kimmel opened his late night show by replaying clips from President Donald Trump’s statement about the killings of 17 people by a teenager with an AR-15 assault weapon at a Florida high schoo…


Access Hollywood Latest News

Angelina Jolie Says She & NATO Chief Want To End Sexual Violence Against Women & Children In Conflict Zones

Movie star Angelina Jolie says she and NATO’s chief have agreed on ways to help the military alliance better combat the use of sexual violence against women and children in conflict zones.


Access Hollywood Latest News

Children of Dune (Unabridged) [Unabridged Fiction] – Frank Herbert

Frank Herbert - Children of Dune (Unabridged) [Unabridged  Fiction]  artwork

Children of Dune (Unabridged) [Unabridged Fiction]

Frank Herbert

Genre: Sci Fi & Fantasy

Price: $ 29.95

Publish Date: February 7, 2008

© ℗ © 2008 Macmillan Audio

iTunes Store: Top Audiobooks in Sci Fi & Fantasy

Children of the Mind (Unabridged) – Orson Scott Card

Orson Scott Card - Children of the Mind (Unabridged)  artwork

Children of the Mind (Unabridged)

Orson Scott Card

Genre: Sci Fi & Fantasy

Price: $ 26.95

Publish Date: August 1, 2004

© ℗ © 2004 Macmillan Audio

iTunes Store: Top Audiobooks in Sci Fi & Fantasy

Children of Time (Unabridged) – Adrian Tchaikovsky

Adrian Tchaikovsky - Children of Time (Unabridged)  artwork

Children of Time (Unabridged)

Adrian Tchaikovsky

Genre: Sci Fi & Fantasy

Price: $ 19.95

Publish Date: May 2, 2017

© ℗ © 2017 Audible Studios

iTunes Store: Top Audiobooks in Sci Fi & Fantasy

The Adorable Robot That’s Helping Deaf Children Communicate

A new robot-avatar combo is helping deaf children learn to communicate during a crucial time in their development.
WIRED Videos

Really Want Children

A priest was getting ready for a trip to Rome, and a man came to him with a request: “When you get to Rome, could you light a candle for me and my
wife? We really want children and the doctor just told us we might not be able to have any.”

The priest agreed to the request. Ten years later, he ran into the man again in a super market. With him were about twelve kids.

“Oh, this is wonderful!” said the priest. “But tell me, where’s your wife?”

“Oh, she’s gone to Rome to blow out the candle.”

Received from Star.
The Good, Clean Funnies List

8 Children Test Their Speech on Siri, Echo and Google Home

Andy Wood and Matt Kirshen test the limits of everyday AI by using children of a variety of ages in linguistics tests designed to determine which AI is the best at understanding the most people. Featuring Google Home, Amazon Echo, and Siri.

Check out more of Matt and Andy on their podcast at http://www.probablyscience.com
WIRED Videos

Ballet Music for Children and Kids – Ballet Dance Company

Ballet Dance Company - Ballet Music for Children and Kids  artwork

Ballet Music for Children and Kids

Ballet Dance Company

Genre: Instrumental

Price: $ 9.99

Release Date: September 2, 2010

© ℗ 2010 Equilibrium

iTunes Store: Top Albums in Instrumental

Children of Men – Alfonso Cuarón

Alfonso Cuarón - Children of Men  artwork

Children of Men

Alfonso Cuarón

Genre: Action & Adventure

Price: $ 9.99

Rental Price: $ 3.99

Release Date: December 25, 2006


No children. No future. No hope. In the year 2027, eighteen years since the last baby was born, disillusioned Theo (Clive Owen) becomes an unlikely champion of the human race when he is asked by his former lover (Julianne Moore) to escort a young pregnant woman out of the country as quickly as possible. In a thrilling race against time, Theo will risk everything to deliver the miracle the whole world has been waiting for. Co-starring Michael Caine, filmmaker Alfonso Cuaron's Children of Men "Lifts you to the rafters, transporting you with the greatness of its filmmaking. The action is swift, ferocious and spectacularly choreographed." (The New York Times)

© © 2006 Universal Studios. All Rights Reserved.

iTunes Store: Top Movies in Drama

Children of the Fleet (Unabridged) – Orson Scott Card

Orson Scott Card - Children of the Fleet (Unabridged)  artwork

Children of the Fleet (Unabridged)

Orson Scott Card

Genre: Sci Fi & Fantasy

Price: $ 23.95

Publish Date: October 10, 2017

© ℗ © 2017 Macmillan Audio

iTunes Store: Top Audiobooks in Sci Fi & Fantasy

“O Come, Little Children” Mormon Tabernacle Choir and Orchestra at Temple Square Christmas Concert – Mormon Tabernacle Choir

Mormon Tabernacle Choir -

"O Come, Little Children" Mormon Tabernacle Choir and Orchestra at Temple Square Christmas Concert

Mormon Tabernacle Choir

Genre: Concert Films

Price: $ 15.99

Rental Price: $ 3.99

Release Date: January 1, 2017


In its 2016 Christmas concert, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir joined with the Orchestra at Temple Square, the Bells on the Temple Square, and international opera superstar Rolando Villazón in a celebration of Christmas that focused on childlike simplicity and youthful enthusiasm. Dancers and actors from the local community also joined in, thrilling the combined capacity audience of over 60, 000 in the Conference Center at Temple Square. This live recording from the concert includes favorite songs and carols from around the world that celebrate the birth of the Christ Child. From the 18th-century German carol “O Come, Little Children” to the French song “Il est né” and the traditional Andalusian song “Campana Sobre Campana”—a favorite among Spanish-speaking children even today—the invitation is extended to everyone to join with children in reflecting on the Christmas message. Mack Wilberg’s processional based on “The Little Drummer Boy” similarly reverences a child’s offering at Christmas. With the toy-like charm of the orchestra’s “Parade of the Wooden Soldiers” and the cinematic sweep of “Christmas Children” from the movie Scrooge, this concert was indeed a celebration of youthful wonder at Christmas time.

© © 2016 Intellectual Reserve Inc. All Rights Reserved

iTunes Store: Top Movies in Concert Films

Children of the Corn – Fritz Kiersch

Fritz Kiersch - Children of the Corn  artwork

Children of the Corn

Fritz Kiersch

Genre: Horror

Price: $ 7.99

Rental Price: $ 0.99

Release Date: March 9, 1984


A young couple (Linda Hamilton, Terminator 2, and Peter Horton, thirtysomething) find themselves stranded in the rural town of Gatlin, Neb., where they encounter a mysterious religious sect of children. But nowhere in town are there any adults. The horror grows to a blood-curdling climax as the two new visitors learn the horrifying secret behind the prospering corn fields. Based on the classic short story by Stephen King, CHILDREN OF THE CORN is a longtime horror favorite that has spawned six sequels and many imitations. See how it all started.

© © 1996 Lakeshore International Corp. All Rights Reserved.

iTunes Store: Top Movies in Horror

2017 Children Action Comics Special – Twinkie Artcat

Twinkie Artcat - 2017 Children Action Comics Special  artwork

2017 Children Action Comics Special

Twinkie Artcat

Genre: Graphic Novels

Publish Date: December 7, 2016

Publisher: Twinkie Artcat

Seller: Smashwords


After 6 year from 2011 to 2017, here's another collections of 71 1024×1365 pixels full color drawing of children in action. Comics for people of all ages. Happy reading and all the best for the year 2017. In this issue, we have 7 action story about the children. They are 'In The Ghost Castle', 'Arrow', 'Penguin action', 'Children Action Line-Art', 'Penguin Go Fishing', 'Poster' and 'Diary'. By Twinkie Artcat.

iTunes Store: Top Free Books in Comics & Graphic Novels

The Children of Hurin (Unabridged) – J. R. R. Tolkien

J. R. R. Tolkien - The Children of Hurin (Unabridged)  artwork

The Children of Hurin (Unabridged)

J. R. R. Tolkien

Genre: Sci Fi & Fantasy

Price: $ 14.95

Publish Date: September 19, 2007

© ℗ © 2007 HarperCollins Publishers Limited

iTunes Store: Top Audiobooks in Sci Fi & Fantasy

Children To The Slaughter – A.I. Nasser & ScareStreet

A.I. Nasser & ScareStreet - Children To The Slaughter  artwork

Children To The Slaughter

A.I. Nasser & ScareStreet

Genre: Horror

Publish Date: April 29, 2016

Publisher: ScareStreet.com

Seller: Omni Holdings LLC


Melington has changed. There is an evil lurking in the darkness, under the beds and behind closet doors. It seeks vengeance and retribution and will not be denied.  No one knows this more than Alan Carter. Returning to his hometown after a twenty year absence, he is resolute in uncovering the truth behind his sister’s abduction and the strange disappearance of children. Joined by his childhood friend, Alan finds himself thrown into the middle of a conspiracy led by the town Council as it desperately tries to hide its secrets from the world. No child is safe in Melington, and Alan Carter needs to stop the curse that has haunted his hometown for generations. But as Alan’s brushes with death become more frequent, he finds himself running out of luck.

iTunes Store: Top Free Books in Fiction & Literature

2011 Children Action Comics Special – Twinkie Artcat

Twinkie Artcat - 2011 Children Action Comics Special  artwork

2011 Children Action Comics Special

Children Action Comics, Special 1

Twinkie Artcat

Genre: Graphic Novels

Publish Date: July 7, 2011

Publisher: Twinkie Artcat

Seller: Smashwords


2011 Children Action Comics Special is a collection of 32 600×800 pixels action comics strips for children and people of all ages. No words, just sound effect, action and reaction that might or might not happen in our daily life. This is a free edition to promote Children Action Comics! Story And Art by Twinkie Artcat Note : This is a comics picture book, for best reading Epub result, read this book in portrait mode. (Tested by Twinkie Artcat on android version 2.2 e-Reader.)

iTunes Store: Top Free Books in Comics & Graphic Novels

Lamar Odom’s Children & Family Asks For Prayers

Lamar Odom’s two children are asking for prayers for their hospitalized dad.


Access Hollywood Latest News

Liza Morales, Mother of Lamar Odom’s Children, Tweets ”God Is Good” After Athlete Wakes Up From Coma

Lamar Odom’s loved ones are celebrating today.

The former NBA star’s ex-girlfriend and mother of his two children, Liza Morales, took to Twitter tonight to rejoice in the fact…


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Children of Divorce Benefit From Play Therapy

I am not a play therapist nor am I a therapist or social worker.

I’m just your average everyday mother with a beautiful only child– a child of divorce.
My ex-husband (it’s almost official) and I were both raised by two parents that stayed married and are still married. Neither of us could really understand nor will we ever fully understand the position our daughter is in. For me, it was a no-brainer that play therapy could help our child. It took longer to convince him, but he’s a believer now I’d say!

A former teacher, I had seen children go through a lot of nasty divorces and I had promised myself when the two of us decided to divorce that we would never be those parents arguing in the school parking lot and that promise has been upheld.

Still, even though ours is a tame and amicable divorce, we have our rocky moments and even more so, our daughter has had a difficult time adjusting. Just 3 when we decided to cut ties, our precocious only child regressed and lashed out. Showed signs of anxiety. Anger. Sadness. When you look at a drawing of her family today, it’s all of us together plus some imaginary siblings she threw in, and we are all smiling.

Talk about wish fulfillment on so many levels — siblings. Dad and I, together.

Some kids take divorce relatively easy and others, not so much. Perhaps if my daughter had had a sibling to absorb and process the change with maybe she would have taken it better. Perhaps if she weren’t so smart she would have handled it better. Perhaps if she were older….IF, IF,IF.

The fact was divorce was hard on her and being shared between two homes was tough.

Thanks to smart and intuitive teachers and two wonderful parents, finally, we are seeing the bright light at the end of the tunnel.

When your child struggles through a divorce it is heartbreaking. There is no worse feeling than that when my daughter would tell me how much she wanted mommy and daddy in the same home. That “divorce stinks.” Try hearing that from a 3-year-old. It’s soul-crushing.

But it gets better parents of divorce. I’m not saying it will be perfect or her wish (see family drawing reference). I’m not saying she doesn’t still have moments. She does. Sharing a friend is a challenge because she has had so much loss that the idea of losing another person she loves is unbearable. But she is doing great! It is great to see. My girl is back, for the most part.

I’m simply saying that it gets better and I believe fully that this is due to not only the people who love her, but also the play therapist that helps her and helps both my ex and me to work and co-parent effectively to support her.

Play therapy helped us figure out how our daughter was grieving and processing the changes in her life. Play therapy helped my daughter learn how to express her struggles and learn new strategies to handle anger and sadness. Play therapy helped my ex and me with parenting techniques to support her. I could go on ad nausem of how helpful play therapy has been for us, for her.

This is an APB to parents of divorce: consider play therapy. You may not even realize your child is struggling. You may know your child is struggling but have no clue how to help.

Consider play therapy.
It changed things for us.

This year, everyone — teachers included — sees the difference in my daughter.

I cannot stress enough how play therapy was a catalyst in healing for the whole family.

It may sound strange to you– what is play therapy anyway?— but take the time to consult with a play therapist. That one consultation could be life-changing for you, your ex and your children.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.




Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

Pharrell Is Donating 50,000 Books To Low-Income Children

He's encouraging kids to #ReadHAPPY.
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ADULT ENTERTAINMENT NEWS UPDATE:Gabby Love’s top pick! Click and enjoy!

How to Keep Divorce Focused on the Needs of the Children

Placing children first should be the primary goal of every divorce, but sometimes there is a real lack of guidance and knowledge for parents who are trying to navigate this challenging experience and make informed decisions. As a result, the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML) has developed and released a helpful publication – AAML Child Centered Residential Guidelines. The digital edition is currently available as a free PDF download on the AAML website: www.aaml.org/ccrg.

2015-10-07-1444241430-3086782-ccrgcover.png

The guidelines address one of the most difficult challenges a parent must face during a divorce — deciding how to constructively divide access time with their kids. In order to help keep the divorce process as focused on the needs of the children as possible, the guidelines feature crucial advice from experts, recommended time schedules that spouses can adapt, and practical suggestions for arriving at a cooperative plan for the entire family.

As most states provide, “custody” is to be determined upon a “best interests” standard. AAML Past President Alton Abramowitz envisioned providing a national model, consistent with the aspirations of the Academy, to assist parents, judges, lawyers, mediators and parent educators in drafting child-centered residential guidelines, focusing on best interests, and as a result, reducing parental conflict relating to time-sharing of children.

The AAML Child Centered Residential Guidelines publication was then crafted in close consultation with and the editorial assistance of Robin M. Deutsch, PhD, the Director of the Center of Excellence for Children, Families and the Law at the Massachusetts School of Professional Psychology (MSPP), and an Associate Clinical Professor of Psychology at Harvard Medical School.

One of the main goals of the publication is to address many of the questions that divorcing parents have about how to ensure the needs of their children are placed first, while providing key pieces of advice on some issues that they might not have anticipated. It also offers an essential model that ultimately stands apart from the generally accepted traditional alternating weekend visitation pattern followed by many courts throughout the country.

The parenting time options contained in the guidelines allow each family to choose the appropriate plan after considering the unique circumstances of the family and the characteristics of each of the children. Research does not support any particular parenting plan. Each family needs to consider the age, temperament and special needs of their child, previous caretaking arrangements, and the child’s individual relationship with each parent. Most important is that parents are able to communicate about their child on a regular basis. Parents must share information and effectively cooperate so that a child’s experience, as he or she transitions between parents, is as seamless as possible. A child should not be drawn into his or her parents’ dispute by being exposed to the conflict or acting as a messenger. A child who knows that he or she is more important than the conflict between his or her parents will be better adjusted than the child who becomes subjected to the chronic disputes and tension between his or her parents.
Parents, in addition to attorneys and judges as well as mental health providers, mediators and therapists may find these guidelines useful in resolving parenting time disputes and avoiding disagreements about how much time the child should spend with each parent. At the same time, these guidelines do not prohibit parents, lawyers, mediators and judges from creating parenting time plans that differ from the sample plans contained within the publication. Of course, the residential provisions for kids are only one of the many aspects in a child centered parenting plan.

In addition, the parenting visitation and access schedules presented allow families to choose the most appropriate framework for their children after carefully considering the maturity, circumstances and unique characteristics of each child. The overall goal of the guidelines are to make every minute that a child spends with each parent to be as meaningful as possible, while decreasing the stress and pressures of the custody process and transitions between households.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.




Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

I Worship Chaos – Children of Bodom

Children of Bodom - I Worship Chaos  artwork

I Worship Chaos

Children of Bodom

Genre: Metal

Price: $ 9.99

Release Date: October 2, 2015

© ℗ 2015 Nuclear Blast GmbH

iTunes Store: Top Albums in Rock

American Voices: Falling TVs Pose Growing Risk To Children

Researchers analyzing data from 29 countries have found that in the age of large flat-screen TVs, more children are being injured by unstable television sets toppling onto them, with doctors recommending that flat-screens be securely mounted to the wall as a preventative measure. What do you think?




The Onion

Queer Shame and How Liberal Communities Harm the Children They Embrace

In the past I’ve described my coming out process as The Five Stages of Grief — denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. Sometimes listeners chuckle when they hear the analogy; it is kind of humorous to me now, too. I’m a self-assured recent college graduate with a supportive family, from a liberal, suburban town outside ten miles outside New York City — The Five Stages of Grief? For a kid like me?

No one ever told me it was wrong to be gay. When I say liberal town, I really mean it. The townsfolk waved their gay pride flags high long before marriage equality came into the national spotlight in the early 2000s. They’re type of people who’d point out two men holding hands on the street to comment on “how nice it is to see.” I mean this is a place where something like 87 percent of people voted for President Obama in the 2008 election, and they were vocal about it, too. Not only is there a Planned Parenthood one block off the main thoroughfare, but there’s an abortion clinic on the main thoroughfare, and there are rarely if ever protesters outside its doors.

The town has packed a staggering amount of diversity into its six square miles — black families, white families, gay and lesbian families, interracial families, interfaith families, low-income, affluent — anything in between. The school district buses white children from the more affluent north side into the working-class, black South End, and buses black children out. The magnet school system that warrants this enormous expense gives every kid equal chance to succeed — it’s progressive! (No matter that the cafeteria tables show students naturally splintering first by race and then again by class.)

Even with such a broad offering of interesting people at hand, my parents’ friends were almost always other straight, white couples, with few exceptions. So no matter how diverse, accepting or tolerant my family or our community was, I never saw much of anything happening in practice. It was more of a political stance than a personal philosophy.

I’ll say again — The Five Stages of Grief? For a kid like me? But my personal history belies my taste. From the time I was very young I imagined my future as a happy young bride in the arms of a tall, dark-haired, tuxedo-clad groom; the live band playing jazz and soul music at our wedding; flowers lining the aisle and the chuppah (a good Jewish girl); my hair, braided and adorned with white lace; everyone dancing with abandon. Regardless of my decidedly left-wing political beliefs — pro-equality, pro-choice, pro-education reform, pro-gun control, pro- pro- pro — I was inarguably traditional, and anything less than a traditional life was not for me. It didn’t matter that I supported the right for others to live an alternative lifestyle; I didn’t want one for myself.

Thus every woman I kissed was a knife in my husband’s back, and every girlfriend thereafter would be a nail in his coffin. As a senior in high school I entered denial and fought viciously against the pain and betrayal I brought upon myself. Even when I transferred from a conservative Jesuit university to a radical liberal arts college, I grasped desperately to the shreds of my dying heterosexuality. But I faced a major roadblock in my commitment to hate my orientation and nurture my disdain for my homoerotic desires: my parents’ immediate and effusive pride.

When I finally admitted to my relationships with women after a year and a half of evading their founded suspicions, they were thrilled. After all, if you’re judging whether your child has been properly indoctrinated with their parents’ liberal values, what better evidence is there than queerness? So there I was, a little traditionalist, paradoxically a bonafide radical and a self-loathing queer, with my parents beside me beaming.

Can you blame me for hating myself? At 18? It would be another 2 years before I reached my liberal arts college and heard the word “queer” for the first time, learned about the variety of identities that it represents. Before then, most people asked me if I was bisexual or a lesbian, my parents included, and so those seemed to me to be the only two options. But I didn’t feel I belonged in either category.

I was appalled at the idea of being called a lesbian, and even now some 5 years later I still cringe a bit at the term. I know many people will find this admission offensive, but I have what my friend calls “internalized lesbophobia.” To be identified as a lesbian in our society means one of two things: you’re a porn star at the pinnacle of the male gaze, or you’re a man-hating dyke, the antithesis of what womanhood and femininity are conceptualized to be. Hell of a choice, right?

In the first 3 years after it surfaced, my queerness evolved from my biggest secret to my deepest fear to my worst nightmare, simply because I had not found the right way to articulate it. “Queer” changed everything, not immediately, but completely.

Dominant culture offers us established formulas to understand both gay and lesbian identities. Sure, you can identify as gay or as a lesbian and go against the grain, but it takes a lot of self-confidence, assuredness and give-no-fucks attitude to buck up against the ways in which we’re socialized to understand sexuality. Before college I didn’t have any of those things. It made me deeply anxious to have either or both of my parents gently inquiring as to how I defined my sexuality.

Queerness, in comparison to gayness or lesbianism, rejects reductive attitudes. The term “queer” as a positive identifier rather than a homophobic slur rose to its cultural prevalence in the late twentieth century in response to the AIDS crisis (Queer Nation, ACT UP, etc.). To be queer was political at the outset, to be unified against the passive and homophobic government that was unfazed by the hundreds of thousands of AIDS-related deaths across the country. Ultimately though, to be queer was to resist definition, and although the AIDS crisis is now decades behind us, the rebellious nature of “queer” has persisted. Now that’s something I could try and stomach.

At 20, I had passed through my year of rage and began bargaining with some higher power because I loved her, and if I could just keep her, maybe I’d forgive myself for it. I was finishing my first year at my liberal arts college where I had been bombarded by queer intellectuals who asked me to position myself within the academic rhetoric of sexuality. Campus was a bastion of sexual fluidity, and anything less than total self-acceptance was considered archaic and anyone found guilty of defending traditional ideals would be tarred and feathered. I tried to wade through the jargon — what was a Foucault? — in search of some authentic identity, skill keen on turning myself straight.

The girl I was dating pushed me to do things like kiss and hold hands in public. Things that are untraditional warrant attention, and the last thing I wanted was anyone’s kind liberal gaze — how “great it is to see” — lauding us for existing. I conceded slowly because I loved her and as the months passed I became desensitized to my own horror to the point where, emboldened by a drink or two, I could kiss her in a bar.

When we broke up I lost the hint of complacency I had started to feel about my queerness. I slept with one man, and then another. I hated myself for how bored I felt to fuck them. I spun through my 21st birthday in a yearlong depression, flitting endlessly between people of all genders whom I hoped could spell out who I was. But the little hedonist in me answered that question. If I enjoyed kissing women, I’d kiss women. That didn’t make me a 6 on the Kinsey scale, and it also didn’t warrant a public explanation of my evolving sexuality. Over the past 5 years I’ve exhausted myself avoiding and debunking other people’s labels rather than trying to discern who and what I am. Queer is as far as I’ve gotten, but it’s not necessarily a complete picture.

I am almost 23 and this is the closest to acceptance I have ever come. I know that relative to most other queer kids, I’ve had it very easy. No one casts hellfire onto me when I say girlfriend, no one prescribes corrective treatments, people don’t even analyze what went wrong in my childhood to make me this way. I was my only true obstacle. But I would argue, despite their good intentions, that the kind liberal folk of my childhood pose a danger to the true social acceptance of queerness as much as blatant homophobia might.

My community, if privileged, is not perfect. The ways in which liberal communities perpetuate heteronormativity, while at the same time claiming to be bastions of acceptance, are dangerous. The ways in which liberal parents think about their queer children as cultural capital or political immunity are dangerous. The ways in which queer kids are told to be authentic while being taught what authenticity means are certainly dangerous.

It’s all flowers and butterflies when your parents validate your non-conforming identity, but when they use you as trump card to justify their closed-minded ideas the warm and fuzzies start to get a little more complicated. It’s the same as if someone white were to make a racist comment followed by “and I have a very good friend who’s black.” So in my comfortable liberal town, “and my kid is gay” has the potential to rear its ugly head and hurt queer kids as much as it hopes to help them.

Plenty of mothers hang rainbow flags in honor of their children and then make a point to make a positive comment about visibly queer couples. To be a spectacle, even for someone’s kind liberal gaze, still makes you a spectacle. I know that I am in an extreme place of privilege in issuing a critique of the way that liberal families and communities often commodify sexual identities, but I worry. I worry that if no one calls these very nice people on their very stinky bullshit, the behavior will become cyclical and continue to slyly degrade queerness for generations to come.

When I was in college I noticed that a lot of young women often made reference to being queer, or were averse to the label of heterosexuality, even if they found themselves exclusively attracted to men. Heterosexuality, in radical spaces, has become akin to closed-mindedness and traditionalism. It’s hip to be “open,” like “free love” transposed onto the millennial generation. My parents and their liberal community regard queerness the same way. In 20 years, when the straight girls I made out with in college have kids of their own, I don’t want them to look at a gay couple on the street and comment on how “great it is to see” in an effort to display their tolerance.

I want queerness to be completely unremarkable. It’s innocuous. Regardless of the intentions behind unsolicited remarks, they are equally harmful in featuring sexuality as a minoritizing characteristic. What I’m saying is: whether a stranger is calling me a faggot dyke and telling me I’m going to burn in hell, or they’re remarking sweetly about me and the beautiful girl I’m holding hands with, the fact that they say anything about my sexuality is the problem. At least someone who is blatantly homophobic doesn’t disavow their role in “othering” queerness.

I don’t mean to scold or scorn the millions of liberal, accepting, tolerant parents who make their queer children’s lives easier. Without them, queer shame might increase tenfold. Our Supportive Liberal Parents are an asset and I think it’s rare that any queer kid would fail to recognize that. In my critique of American ultra-liberalism I simply mean to issue one heartfelt request: I ask that liberal parents and liberal communities support their kids not only in the most visible or vocal way, but also the most thoughtful. Maybe in fifty years there won’t be queer kids or straight kids anymore, maybe there’ll just be kids — and wouldn’t that be the ultimate realization of acceptance?

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5 Seconds of Summer, James Morrison and Laura Mvula join Children in Need

BBC Children in Need is delighted to announce that world-famous Australian band 5 Seconds of Summer, Scottish virtuoso percussionist Dame Evelyn Glennie
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Children of the Light – Perez Patitucci Blade

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Children of the Light

Perez Patitucci Blade

Genre: Jazz

Price: $ 9.99

Release Date: September 18, 2015

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‘Modern Family’ Cast Re-Creates Famous Shots From ‘Breaking Bad,’ ‘Cheers,’ and ‘Married… with Children’


Sofia Vergara as Peg Bundy? Julie Bowen as Mary Tyler Moore? Jesse Tyler Ferguson and Eric Stonestreet as ‘Breaking Bad’s’ Walter White and Jesse Pinkman? As it contends for a sixth consecutive best comedy win, the series pays tribute to six television classics.

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Goodnight Lullabies: Sleep, Baby, Sleep – A Child’s Gift of Lullabies, Classical Music for Little Angels, Lullabies for Babies & Kids Songs, Favourite Sleep Time Songs for Children, Nursery Rhymes & White Noise – Goodnight Lullabies Collective

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Goodnight Lullabies: Sleep, Baby, Sleep – A Child’s Gift of Lullabies, Classical Music for Little Angels, Lullabies for Babies & Kids Songs, Favourite Sleep Time Songs for Children, Nursery Rhymes & White Noise

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Release Date: December 9, 2014

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Children of Sanchez – Chuck Mangione

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Children of Sanchez

Chuck Mangione

Genre: Jazz

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Release Date: December 31, 1977

© ℗ 1978 A&M Records

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Heart of Blues / Prayer of the Children – Single – Three Dog Night

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Heart of Blues / Prayer of the Children – Single

Three Dog Night

Genre: Blues

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Release Date: October 24, 2009

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Gene Simmons’ Home Served Search Warrant By Investigators of Web Crimes Against Children

Los Angeles police say a task force investigating Internet crimes against children served a search warrant at the home of Kiss rocker Gene Simmons,…
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News in Brief: Cockroach Worried About What Kind Of Kitchen Cupboard He Leaving To Children

NEW YORK—Expressing concerns over dwindling resources and the preservation of the environment for future generations, an adult male American cockroach was reportedly worried Thursday about what kind of kitchen cupboard he was leaving to his children. “I look at the state of this cupboard right now and see how young my nymphs are, and I’m terrified there won’t be enough graham cracker crumbs left when they’re grown up,” said the insect, adding that he sincerely hoped his offspring would have the same opportunities to safely skitter around in dark cracks and crevices behind the containers of flour and rice that he had always enjoyed. “Sometimes I lie awake wondering whether the Quaker Oatmeal Squares will still be here when I’m gone, or whether my generation has been too wasteful with the brown sugar leaking out of the plastic bag. After all, this cupboard is the …




The Onion

News: Single Woman With 3 Young Children Unaware She Subject Of 984 Judgments Today

LINCOLN, NE—Oblivious to the thoughts and looks directed toward her as she shopped for groceries, stopped by the post office, and ran several other errands with her three young children, single mother Karen Nichols, 29, was reportedly completely unaware that she was the focus of 984 separate judgments by strangers this afternoon.

According to reports, during the five hours in which Nichols was accompanied by her kids, Erik, Sadie, and James—aged 1, 2, and 4, respectively—to a variety of locations throughout the city, she was the subject of nearly a thousand negative assumptions about her financial situation, relative parenting capabilities, and general promiscuity.

“My God—that is just so sad,” thought 45-year-old local resident Rebecca Mueller, just one of 16 people in the local Stop and Shop parking lot who leveled a total of 29 judgments at Nichols as she struggled to secure her crying youngest child …



The Onion

Kelly Rutherford Refusing to Take Her Kids Back to Monaco: ”I Cannot Lawfully Send My Children Away From the U.S.”

Kelly Rutherford is taking a stand on her home turf.

The actress—who was supposed to fly with her children to Monaco yesterday in order to drop them off with their dad, her…


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Jack Falahee Isn’t Getting Away With Murder, But He Is Helping Children

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“Good Morning Children, Time to Open Up Those Eyes and Let the Sunshine Come in and Fertilize Your Brains!”

Growing up my family had a habit that was viewed as crazy by some, off the wall by others, and obscene by the truly informed.

My father had a very high work ethic. As CEO at the local Coca-Cola Bottling Company, he would sit in meetings with supervisors, listen to their reports….but tended to rely more on the information that he got directly from the route men, the ones that were in the stores, the ones that heard comments by store managers and floor managers….
comments often not passed on in a more formal meeting with somewhere higher in rank.

Thus he began the habit of being at the plant no later than 6 AM each morning so that he could walk among the trucks as they were being loaded, asking questions, listening for important information.

But Daddy had another peculiar habit…he liked to have breakfast with his entire family and Mother…a total of about 8, depending on the year and who had been born or come to live with us.

4:45 AM found Daddy going up and down the hallways…SINGING! Yes, Singing!

“Good morning children, time to open up those eyes and let the sunshine come in and fertilize your brains!”

As Daddy was not a singer, the tune would change each morning, but the words were always the same. He knew the first chorus would not be enough to get us out of the deep slumber and start to stagger into the kitchen where Mother was cooking breakfast, so there would be a second round of that melodious wonder.

If that didn’t work, Mother would go to each room, turn on the overhead lights that each had a 300 watt bulb in both outlets and scream at the top of her lungs, “GET UP.” Wanting to avoid that unpleasant ear-splitting scene, we usually responded to the second chorus. It was just so much more pleasant.

There was a 95% chance it was the same breakfast each morning….scrambled eggs that had been in the pan so long that they were very close to dust…you kept them out of a direct breeze from a fan as they would scatter on the table. Bacon was a crapshoot. It could have Mother run one of her lighters up and down the outside of each piece and thrown them on the platter, or it might have been in a pan, cooked down to pieces so hard that they would give beef jerky a three legged race to the undertaker as to which was harder to chew. Toast was usually decent…there is very little you can really do to toast.
2015-07-09-1436475259-1215954-sunrisesocialmedia.jpg
Surprisingly I look back on those times as good ones…but most people thought we were nuts. What Daddy didn’t know was that as soon as his car left the driveway we all went rushing back to bed and get in an hour or two more of sleep, then rise and go about our day.

The thing that continues to amaze me is that Daddy would even WANT to have breakfast with so many young, unpleasant, snarling children in the first place. Since there were so many of us, I suppose he looked at it as the one time he could have all of his chickadees in one place at the same time….and since we were on the edge of incoherence, he had a captive audience and could talk about all sorts of things.

The other thing is that he loved us. And on that count there was never any doubt.

“Good morning children, time to open up those eyes and let the sunshine come in and fertilize your brains!”

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Johnny Depp surprises sick children in Australian hospital

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News in Brief: Report: Nation’s Ditches Overflowing With Children Of Worried Parents

WASHINGTON—Saying that in most places they are piled up 5 or 6 feet high, a report released Thursday by the Pew Research Center revealed that every one of the country’s ditches is currently overflowing with the children of worried parents. “Following an exhaustive survey of ditches and gutters across the U.S., we found that every single one is presently filled beyond capacity with young children whose mothers and fathers are, at this moment, wondering where their kids are and when they’ll be back home,” said lead researcher Alicia Smith, noting that of the millions of 4- to 10-year-olds nationwide who had been allowed to play unsupervised in the backyard for a few minutes, bike to a nearby convenience store, or walk to a friend’s house just across the street, virtually all of them are now wedged in between countless others in a muddy, filth-strewn drainage …



The Onion

270 Reasons Women Choose Not To Have Children

Far too often, women who choose to be childfree are asked to defend their “immature,” “selfish” lifestyles. They’re told that motherhood is the “most important job in the world” and face accusations of living “meaningless” lives.

The number of childfree women is at a record high: 48 percent of women between the ages of 18 and 44 don’t have kids, according to 2014 Census numbers.

The Huffington Post and YouGov asked 124 women why they choose to be childfree. Their motivations ranged from preferring their current lifestyles (64 percent) to prioritizing their careers (9 percent) — a.k.a. fairly universal things that have motivated men not to have children for centuries. To give insight into the complex, layered decisions women make, HuffPost asked childfree readers to discuss the reasons they have chosen not to have kids and gathered 270 responses here.

Of course, these women don’t owe anyone an explanation, but perhaps allowing the public to read their unique perspectives will open people’s minds to the wide range of mature, unselfish motivations that go into deciding not to have kids.

Read more here.

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News in Brief: Report: More American Children Raised By Carjackers Who Didn’t Realize There Was Someone In Backseat

WASHINGTON—Revealing an increase in nontraditional family structures, a report released Thursday by the Pew Research Center found that more American children are being raised by carjackers who didn’t realize there was someone in the backseat. “The number of U.S. children reared by criminals who stole a vehicle by force and then left the scene unaware that a small child was in the rear passenger seat has almost doubled,” the report read in part, showing that since 2014 there has been a dramatic spike in the number of carjackers who made the choice to care for an infant they were surprised to discover in the back of the car after peeling out of an isolated, poorly lit parking lot. “Whether escaped convicts commandeer a vehicle only to find a sleeping toddler that they quickly bond with, or a thief suddenly begins to feel a parental responsibility to care …





The Onion

How Do You Tell Your Children That You Are Getting a Divorce?

As a divorce specialist, I have noticed a trend of spouses who are really trying their best to settle their divorce in a positive way, which is a fantastic development. Not so long ago a New York City lawyer confronted me with the statement that New Yorkers always want to fight when it comes to a divorce. I told him that I don’t agree and his assumption is not only false, but financially not in the best interest of his clients. Messy divorces can sometimes lead to personal bankruptcy and financial ruin. More and more couples are realizing that the end of a relationship does not have to spell doom. Things are changing and mediation is gaining territory in the US.

But even with more positive and peaceful developments, there often is a second challenge: How to tell your kids that you are getting divorced. Despite parents’ best intentions, the wrong approach can create irreparable damage that follows children into adulthood. For this reason I consulted my mediators to come up with useful advice based on our experiences with divorcing parents. There are many resources available, but we are convinced that these tips should help you to break the news to your children in the most kind and loving way.

Stand together as parents
Even though your marriage is over, you are still parents and you owe it to your children to team-up where they are involved. It is important to focus on your children’s future and what’s best for them. In other words, put the mutual love for your children ahead of your negative emotions about each other. You could compare this effort with other team projects that make you proud. Remember that you were successful as a team of parents and you realized the wonderful project of “children”. Adopting a more businesslike approach benefits the future and minimizes incidental emotional outbursts you want to avoid when children are involved.

Tell your children that you are going to split up together. No exceptions. With both parents present for this difficult conversation, children will have a chance to react and receive the reassurance that they need. Parents need to prepare themselves very well for this conversation and strive to stay strong and in control of their emotions in front of the children. Remembering the overall strategy of a businesslike approach will help with that.

The D-word.
The word divorce needs to be said to the children as early as possible in the process, but not before a concrete plan has been hatched and both parents are well prepared. It is very important to avoid creating uncertainty for the children. Make sure the message is clear and that both parents are there to support the children. This prevents children from feeling like have to “choose a side”. Both parents are equally important. No matter how angry the spouses are at each other, contact with both parents is essential to every child.

Different kinds of love
Explain to your children that mom and dad are divorcing because they are no longer in love with each other. But be careful to explain to the children that they are still loved and that nothing will ever change that. This is especially important to assuage any fears that parental love is finite or temporary. We recommend sharing these reasons with your children in a clear and convincing manner, so that they can brush off any gossip or rumors that might pop up on the schoolyard.

It’s not their fault
One of the most important things is to continuously emphasize is that the divorce is not their fault. Children are inclined to believe that fighting between parents may have started because of their bad behavior. It’s important not to involve the children in any conflict and to reassure them that mom and dad are taking care of everything and will do their best to keep things normal. Stick to the daily rituals such as reading in bed before they go to sleep, especially at this time.

Consistency and new plans
Uncertainty and lack of consistency can have a very negative impact on children. That is why it is so important for parents should present new plans and situations as soon as they can. Questions like: where will I going to live? With whom? Do I get my own room? Will I need to change schools? Can I stay with the same sports team? All these questions need to be decided and answered quickly. Preparation is key for parents to be able to roll out the next steps and curb all fears of disruption in the lives of their children.

Divorce Apps and moving forward
No two divorces are alike and most are complicated. But if you take the time to plan and prepare your response, the difficulties do not have to go on forever. Society is getting better at discussing how to divorce in a more positive way and that means considering the children and making the whole experience more bearable for them. A great example that we are moving ahead is the development of divorce apps. These apps help parents to support children through the divorce process. One of my recommended apps is: App Kids & Divorce. These technological developments are useful and I hope that there will be more to come.

We know that marriage is all too often not forever and ever, but remember that kids never asked for a divorce. Tell them it’s not their fault as much as you can and let them know the love of you and your spouse for them is forever…every day!

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My Transgender Life: Where Do the Children Play?


I know we’ve come a long way
We’re changing day to day
But tell me, where do the children play?
– Cat Stevens

It was early Friday morning as I entered my car and held down the home button on my phone. The familiar message “What can I help you with?’ appeared, and I spoke into it, “Directions to ESPN, Bristol Connecticut.” The day’s adventure had begun.

I met Stephen Alexander a little over a month ago and he graciously invited me to attend a panel discussion he was going to be on at ESPN on Transgender athletes. I was a fly on the wall as I got to meet some amazing and great people who were sharing their stories with ESPN’s internal employee LGBT group, which was also internally broadcast within the parent Disney corporate world. The title of the discussion was Understanding the T: Transgender Athletes and the Challenge to Compete.

ESPN’s Christina Kahrl was the moderator of this panel which included:

Stephen Alexander, America’s first openly transgender multi sports coach www.transitiongames.com
Chloe Johnson, transgender cross fit athlete
Chris Mosier, transgender dualthalon athlete who is a member of Team USA www.transathlete.com
Wade Davis, Executive Director of the You Can Play Project, www.youcanplayproject.org
Jazz Jennings and her mom on the phone.

It strikes me that we see and hear about someone in the trans community on a daily basis. We hear the good stories, the sad stories and the outrageous, sensationalized and indescribable stories. It is easy for many to lose sight that transgender people are first and foremost just people, each trying to hopefully live their best possible life, without a burden of being defined by being transgender. I continue to say that we are all so much more than just gender.

Recently, when Janet Mock appeared on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday program, she stated, “For most people the most interesting part of me is my transness.” This conversation was about her willingness to “own” her “transness” in order to make a positive difference for others in the world. For the athletes above, their discussion points out that their transness, which is their authenticity, has blocked them and so many other trans people from being involved and playing, competing in sports as who they truly are. Each of their stories and experience is unique. As such each is an important building block to help all people learn that transgender athletes hold no special advantages and are just people trying to live, work and play like most of us desire to do.

By being in the audience this was a time for me to have many learning moments as I listened to the participants. Here are some of the comments I heard:

Chloe told the group that she never thought of herself as being transgender. She was just female, period. She said she transitioned at the age of 16 and was never an athlete until she got into competitive Crossfit a few years ago, and was “outed” by the organization’s refusal to allow her to compete, as she was not assigned female at birth. She shared it was never her intent to be public or an activist but in order to stand up for her rights and those of others. Chloe appeared to know this was important but it was clear that her primary goal was to just live her life. At this point in time, her “transness” has blocked her from her life’s passion.

Chris shared that prior to his transition when he was competing in women’s triathlons, he never felt he belonged, as he did not feel like a woman. His personal challenge was to believe he could compete in his passion if and when he transitioned. Not only was he be able to compete but he has now become a member of TEAM USA. However, there are still many rules that may hold him back at competing at the highest levels of his sport. He reported than one goal of making the team has been achieved but there are still many blocks in his path to compete, as he desires. He told us it is not the winning that matters; it is the chance to perform that is important. I was able to relate to this from my experience as a coach of little league sports for many years.

Stephen has proved to perhaps be the prodigal son, and shown that one can go home again. Prior to his transition Stephen had guided his high school’s girls teams to multiple state championships, and now post transition he has returned to that very same school and coaches five different sports. Stephen is putting himself on the line each and every day and makes a difference to others by guiding, listening and teaching teamwork as his passions and goals. Stephen said that there are still people in his community, in the schools who hold his “transness” against him, but progress is being made day to day.

As an ally to the T community, Wade Davis taught the audience, including me, that being an ally is not a passive role. He said, “Allies need to take ACTION.” They need to speak and be heard. He also said, when you do not know about someone or his or her life, there is only one thing to do, which is to listen. This will lead to learning and acceptance, not judgment and denial.

Jazz Jennings and her mom shared a variety of stories of the battle to allow Jazz to paly competitive children’s soccer and now high school tennis. It appeared that nothing was ever easy, but this family never gave up, and are an inspiration to us all.

2015-06-22-1434939801-1531901-espn.png

Wade Davis, Stephen Alexander, Christina Kahrl, Chloe Johnson, Chris Mosier

During Q&A and a question regarding the advantage of transwoman playing women’s sports, I was able to relate to Christina’s personal experience when she shared, ” I have been on HRT for 13 years now, and I cannot even open a jar. Why did they ever invent jars anyway?” I myself being on estrogen for 5 years get it. I can barely carry the grocery bags up the stairs now. I wouldn’t have it any differently.

The bottom line: From childhood through colleges, all amateur sports and even on to professional sports, the rules for allowing trans people to belong and perform are inconsistent at best, and outlandish and ignorant at worst. Sports are a must for so many of us to keep our heads on straight in this increasingly complex world. For trans youth, they must be allowed to play and play equally and not singled out. Panels like this are just a start to point this out. There is still much work to do. We need to know where will the children play!

There is another Cat Stevens song that leaves me with some hope.

Now I’ve been crying lately
Thinking about the world as it is
Why must we go on hating
Why can’t we live in bliss

‘Cause out on the edge of darkness
There rides a peace train
Oh, peace train take this country
Come take me home again

Oh, peace train sounding louder
Glide on the peace train
Come on the peace train
– Cat Stevens

###

Grace Stevens is a transgender woman who transitioned at the age of 64 and holds a Masters Degree in Counseling Psychology. She is a father of three, grandparent of two, athlete, advocate and author of No! Maybe? Yes! Living My Truth, an intimate memoir of her personal struggle to transition and live her true life authentically as a woman. Grace is available for speaking about authentic living with Living on-TRACK, and Gender Variance Education and Training. Visit her website at: http://www.graceannestevens.com/. Follow Grace on Twitter: www.twitter.com/graceonboard .

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Gay Voices – The Huffington Post

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The Children of Hurin (Unabridged) – J. R. R. Tolkien

J. R. R. Tolkien - The Children of Hurin (Unabridged)  artwork

The Children of Hurin (Unabridged)

J. R. R. Tolkien

Genre: Sci Fi & Fantasy

Price: $ 28.95

Publish Date: September 18, 2007

© ℗ © 2007 HarperCollins Publishers Limited

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The Call of Agon: Book One of The Children of Telm – Dean F. Wilson

Dean F. Wilson - The Call of Agon: Book One of The Children of Telm  artwork

The Call of Agon: Book One of The Children of Telm

Dean F. Wilson

Genre: Epic

Publish Date: August 14, 2014

Publisher: Dean F. Wilson

Seller: Smashwords


THE LAST LINE. THE LAST WORDS. THE LAST CHANCE. Ifferon is one of the last in the bloodline of the dead god Telm, who mated with mortal women, and who imprisoned the Beast Agon in the Underworld. Armed with a connection to the estranged gods in the Overworld and a scroll bearing Telm's powerful dying words, he is tasked with ensuring the god's vital legacy: that Agon remain vanquished. Fear forces Ifferon to abandon his duty, but terror restores his quest when the forces of Agon find his hideaway in an isolated coastal monastery. Weighed down by the worries of the world, but lifted up by the companions he encounters along the way, Ifferon embarks on a journey that encompasses the struggles of many peoples, the siege of many lands, and discoveries that could bring hope to some—or doom to all.

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The Tomorrow Children E3 2015: Gameplay (Cam)

gt_massive-thumb_tomorrowchildren_e315-gp

We spent a little time getting intimate with Q-Games upcoming sandbox title at E3 2015.
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Sea Bride- Children of the Waves – LaVerne Thompson

LaVerne Thompson - Sea Bride- Children of the Waves  artwork

Sea Bride- Children of the Waves

LaVerne Thompson

Genre: Paranormal

Publish Date: March 24, 2015

Publisher: Isisindc Publishing, LLC

Seller: Draft2Digital, LLC


For 200 some years Xavior, a child of the waves, has searched the seven depths for his bride only to find her on land. How could a landwalker be his Queen, the one destined to stop the wars among the sea tribes? But one touch and he knew he'd defy Poseidon himself to make her his.  Cori Daniels hated the water; she'd been on board the luxury ocean liner for 2 days and hadn't left her cabin. But when she finally ventured on deck she met a man who looked like a sea god and tempted her like no other. But he tempted her to follow him into the sea.  How could she tell him she feared the water?   

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A Tale of Two Children: My Path to Fatherhood, and the Psychic Who Saw It Before I Did

Despite keeping a copy of “The Power of Now” by my bed for years, I have always been more into the future than the present. Maybe that’s why I love the idea of psychics. Years ago, I was at lunch with a friend when she mentioned in passing that her assistant’s mother, who was a psychic, was coming to stay with her for the weekend. Without missing a beat, I made an appointment to see this California Cassandra. I had gone to my share of psychics in the past, but I never took them very seriously. I didn’t really believe the guy who told me I was a rock star in my last life (though I did check the date of Elvis and Jim Morrison’s deaths just in case). Nor did I believe the tea leaf reader in New Orleans who told me someone in my family would die within two years (he was wrong, and a jerk). Still, I loved hearing the prophecies of psychics, astrologers and tea leaf readers. Eckhart Tolle and his power of now had nothing on the power of later.

I arrived at my friend’s house and settled myself into the garden with her assistant’s mother, a glamorous older woman with big hair, long lashes, and an unsettling smile. She immediately began by describing my family in such precise detail that it chilled me. Still, I remained dubious. Toward the end of the session, I asked her if she saw children in my future. The psychic’s eyes shot up toward the sky and she began to laugh. “Oh yes,” she said. “I can see your daughter now. She’s a hoot. She has dark, curly hair. Oh, she’s a hoot.” I told her I was in the process of adopting. “Oh you’re not going to adopt,” she said. “You’re going to have biological children.”

“I don’t think so,” I said. “I’ve already decided to adopt.”

The psychic was resolute in her prediction. “You will have biological children,” she said. “Definitely a girl. But I see a boy as well, he’s just not coming through as strongly.” Then she added a twist. “A friend will offer to carry your children soon.”

“That’s crazy,” I said. “Who would do that?”

A few months later, a friend of mine offered to be my surrogate. It took me a moment to recover from the offer, not just because of its generosity, but because what I thought was an insane prediction had come to pass. I put the adoption on hold. Unfortunately, my friend and I didn’t have a successful pregnancy. Needing reassurance, I called whom else but the psychic. She assured me that everything would work out. This time, she said she definitely saw both a girl and a boy. Once again, she told me my girl was “a hoot.”

My adoption case was now on hold, and I had sperm sitting in a freezer at a doctor’s office. Rather than go back to the adoption agency, I decided to approach a surrogacy agency instead. Within a year, I had a surrogate who was pregnant with twins. Three months into the pregnancy, I was told that one of my children was a boy, but the second child’s gender was still unknown. In the back of my mind was the psychic’s voice, telling me she could see my daughter with her dark curly hair. I waited anxiously to find out the gender of my second child, in part because I was fascinated to find out if the psychic was right. Six months into the pregnancy, the ultrasound revealed that my second child was a girl.

When I think back to how tightly I held onto the words of this long-lashed clairvoyant, I wonder if her predictions came true because she saw my future, or because she implanted ideas in me that I turned into self-fulfilling prophecies. I am reminded of a story I read as a child about a man who goes to see a psychic. The psychic tells the man that he will murder someone in his lifetime. The man has a miserable life. He won’t open himself to intimacy of any kind because he fears he will kill those he loves. In his old age, the man runs into the psychic on a dock. Feeling that the psychic destroyed his life, the man kills him and fulfills the prophecy. Like the man in the story, perhaps I simply manifested what I was told would happen.

I suppose that if she played a part in my manifesting my life as it is, I must thank her because I wouldn’t want any other children than the ones I have. Still, despite the fact that there’s a woman out there who seemed capable of seeing my curly-haired hoot of a daughter pre-naissance, I haven’t called her, or any other psychic, since my children were born. I don’t really need anyone to tell me what’s next for my family. I’m enjoying the adventure too much to worry about what’s next. I guess being a parent has finally taught me to live in the now and stop living in the later.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Gay Voices – The Huffington Post

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News in Brief: North American Children Begin Summer Migration To Dad’s

NEW YORK—With the increasingly warm weather signaling the commencement of their age-old journey, millions of children across the North American continent began their annual summer migration to their fathers’ homes this week, sources confirmed. “At this moment, in every corner of the country, children are setting out from their normal wintering grounds en route to their dad’s place,” said Duke University anthropologist Robert Benson, explaining how these youths follow the same interstate routes they travel every year to the region of the country containing their fathers’ townhouses, where they will make a temporary home for themselves among their specially arranged twin beds and pull-out sofas for the remainder of the summer months. “While the journey is not easy, and often leads the children to conditions that are far less hospitable than those they enjoy during the rest of the year, this is simply a natural rite these boys …





The Onion

Michael Wolff on Rupert Murdoch: How the Children Solved the Hollywood Problem (Analysis)


The elevation of his sons James and Lachlan to the ultimate corporate spots in this company is part of his effort to once and for all resolve the Hollywood issue — in his favor.

read more


Hollywood Reporter

Yoga for Kids and Children – Yoga Music for Yoga Classes, Children`s Yoga Songs – Yoga Music for Kids Masters

Yoga Music for Kids Masters - Yoga for Kids and Children - Yoga Music for Yoga Classes, Children`s Yoga Songs  artwork

Yoga for Kids and Children – Yoga Music for Yoga Classes, Children`s Yoga Songs

Yoga Music for Kids Masters

Genre: Instrumental

Price: $ 9.99

Release Date: September 2, 2010

© ℗ 2010 Equilibrium

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Beyonc‚ Sells BeyGOOD T-Shirts To Help Children In Haiti

Beyonc‚ is selling t-shirts that read “Bey Good” in order to raise money for impoverished children in Haiti. In May, Bey took a trip to Saint Damien Pediatric Hospital in Tabarre, before deciding to lend a hand. “[D]ue to a recent reduction in funding commitment, the hospital has lost the equivalent of two months of funding resulting in significant cutbacks in staff.
RTT – Music
Webcam Performers Wanted – Earn $ 100,000 per year!

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My Inappropriate Life: Some Material Not Suitable for Small Children, Nuns, or Mature Adults (Unabridged) – Heather McDonald

Heather McDonald - My Inappropriate Life: Some Material Not Suitable for Small Children, Nuns, or Mature Adults (Unabridged)  artwork

My Inappropriate Life: Some Material Not Suitable for Small Children, Nuns, or Mature Adults (Unabridged)

Heather McDonald

Genre: Comedy

Price: $ 17.95

Publish Date: February 5, 2013

© ℗ © 2013 Brilliance Audio

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News: Parents Worried Children Old Enough To Remember Family Vacation

YOUNGSTOWN, OH—Fearing that their kids’ impressions of the experience could quite possibly remain with them for the rest of their lives, parents Joel and Bethany Weyandt told reporters Tuesday they are worried their children are old enough to remember the details of their recent family vacation.

The husband and wife said their son, Michael, 6, and daughter, Nora, 5, have both reached an age at which they are capable of forming and retaining distinct memories, stoking the couple’s concerns that the kids will be able to recall numerous details of their trip to Hershey, PA, from the oppressive heat, to the numerous barbs the parents uttered at one another, to the hours spent waiting in various lines.

“It’s sad to think that the kids are probably going to remember everything we went through on this trip—the tiny little hotel room, Michael’s ear infection, all of …





The Onion

News: Parents Worried Children Old Enough To Remember Family Vacation

YOUNGSTOWN, OH—Fearing that their kids’ impressions of the experience could quite possibly remain with them for the rest of their lives, parents Joel and Bethany Weyandt told reporters Tuesday they are worried their children are old enough to remember the details of their recent family vacation.

The husband and wife said their son, Michael, 6, and daughter, Nora, 5, have both reached an age at which they are capable of forming and retaining distinct memories, stoking the couple’s concerns that the kids will be able to recall numerous details of their trip to Hershey, PA, from the oppressive heat, to the numerous barbs the parents uttered at one another, to the hours spent waiting in various lines.

“It’s sad to think that the kids are probably going to remember everything we went through on this trip—the tiny little hotel room, Michael’s ear infection, all of …





The Onion

News: Parents Worried Children Old Enough To Remember Family Vacation

YOUNGSTOWN, OH—Fearing that their kids’ impressions of the experience could quite possibly remain with them for the rest of their lives, parents Joel and Bethany Weyandt told reporters Tuesday they are worried their children are old enough to remember the details of their recent family vacation.

The husband and wife said their son, Michael, 6, and daughter, Nora, 5, have both reached an age at which they are capable of forming and retaining distinct memories, stoking the couple’s concerns that the kids will be able to recall numerous details of their trip to Hershey, PA, from the oppressive heat, to the numerous barbs the parents uttered at one another, to the hours spent waiting in various lines.

“It’s sad to think that the kids are probably going to remember everything we went through on this trip—the tiny little hotel room, Michael’s ear infection, all of …





The Onion

2011 Children Action Comics Special – Twinkie Artcat

Twinkie Artcat - 2011 Children Action Comics Special  artwork

2011 Children Action Comics Special

Children Action Comics, Special 1

Twinkie Artcat

Genre: Graphic Novels

Publish Date: July 7, 2011

Publisher: Twinkie Artcat

Seller: Smashwords


2011 Children Action Comics Special is a collection of 32 600×800 pixels action comics strips for children and people of all ages. No words, just sound effect, action and reaction that might or might not happen in our daily life. This is a free edition to promote Children Action Comics! Story And Art by Twinkie Artcat Note : This is a comics picture book, for best reading Epub result, read this book in portrait mode. (Tested by Twinkie Artcat on android version 2.2 e-Reader.)

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Ballet Music for Children and Kids – Ballet Dance Company

Ballet Dance Company - Ballet Music for Children and Kids  artwork

Ballet Music for Children and Kids

Ballet Dance Company

Genre: Instrumental

Price: $ 9.99

Release Date: September 2, 2010

© ℗ 2010 Equilibrium

iTunes Store: Top Albums in Instrumental

‘Inside Out: Portraits Of Cross-Gender Children’ Beautifully Documents Transgender Kids

For the past 12 years, Dutch photographer Sarah Wong has documented the lives and experiences of a group of children who have transitioned — or are in the process of transitioning — to live as their authentic selves.

Wong captured these images of children involved with VU University in Amsterdam, where they engaged in a type of therapy that aimed to support children who experience gender dysphoria. A number of these kids took or have taken puberty blockers in order to delay the effects of puberty until they decide how they want to live their lives. However, the photos were taken at the kids’ homes, schools, ballet classes — spaces where they felt most comfortable.

Wong shared the images with the world through a book called Inside Out: Portraits Of Cross-Gender Children, published in 2011. A medical research journalist from the Dutch Volkskrant newspaper, Ellen de Visser, wrote the book’s text.

The Huffington Post chatted with Wong this week about the children in these photos, as well as her own experiences documenting the lives of these kids.

ballet girl 2005
Ballet Girl, 2005

The Huffington Post: Who are the children captured in these photographs?
Sarah Wong: These are Dutch, cross-gender children aged 5 up to 17. I photographed them since 2003 by request of their parents. I worked as a photographer in health care and had just finished a photo book about a children’s hospital. We met, and the cross-gender children immediately touched my heart.

balletgirl 2010
Ballet Girl, 2010

boy with swimming suit 2009
Boy with swimming suit, 2009

“At the end we’re all the same — souls who want to be happy and live compassionately.”

What was your goal/intention with photographing these children?
My goal was to help them to find happiness. With their portraits I wanted to empower them — no sensational journalistic approach. Not a boy in a dress or a girl with a football. When people saw the portraits they said, “lovely children, but who are they?”

The photographs showed lovely children, with a strong consciousness: this is who I truly am. At the end we’re all the same — souls who want to be happy and live compassionately.

boy with swimming suit 2010
Boy with boxing trainer, 2010

girl 2003
Girl, 2003

boy 3 2007
Boy, 2007

What were the experiences of these children like at this European clinic?
The children had very good experiences at the VUmc because of the puberty blockers. The greatest nightmare from a cross-gender child is your body growing the wrong direction. A boy doesn’t want breasts and girls don’t want to have a beard. The puberty-blockers gave relief and thinking time, and they could grow up like “normal” teenagers.

boy3 2009
Boy, 2009

girl 2015
Girl, 2015

Why, as a photographer, is providing these stories and experiences visibility so important?
As an artist your work can have a great impact on public opinion. I was always very interested in identity and compassion and felt sometimes more like a psychologist or detective-profiler, than a photographer.

I realized very young, at age 21 in art school, that as an artist, your photographs can have a great impact on the public opinion. I was very much inspired by Robert Capa and Henry Cartier Bresson, Magnum photographers.

It’s very important for society to see these images — theres nothing sensational about transgender kids. Again, at the end we’re pretty much the same: we’re all souls who want to live happy and give meaning to our life and others.

It was during the project that I suddenly understood why these photos were incredibly important for the kids. They showed who they really were. The photographs were almost forensic proof for them.

Mostly, photography is about the emotions and ego from the artist. Well, during this project my ego shrunk every photoshoot because I was in service of them. And I liked very much the idea that the photographs we made were for a greater purpose. Unfortunately, I could never expose them in a museum because of the integrity of the children. Now that they’re older I’m looking for a great spot. Society and public opinion has changed.

girl 2003
Girl, 2003

girl 2009
Girl, 2009

princess on white horse 2012
Princess on white horse, 2012

What do you hope viewers take away from these images?
I truly hope The Huffington Post audience will take the compassionate way of looking. This means a way of looking with the heart — free from personal emotions.

If you get emotional with someone’s suffering you are not in a position of empowering someone. The very first doctor who helped these children was a pioneer as well. During the weekend he was a deacon in a church. The reason he wanted to help transgender gender people was because of this compassionate way of looking at them — not as a doctor but as a human being.

butterfly tableau 2010
Butterfly tableau, 2010

butterfly tableau 2012
Butterfly tableau, 2012

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Gay Voices – The Huffington Post

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‘When They Were Kids’ Cartoons Perfectly Depict Rihanna And Other Fashion Icons As Children

It looks like Rihanna was always a “bad gal.”

rihanna

Fashion Cartoonist, an anonymous doodler who has been featured in the trade publication Business of Fashion as part of its Fashion Funnies section, has released a new set of adorable cartoons.

The images, which depict fashion icons and celebrities as “children,” are a welcome light-hearted contribution to an industry that has the tendency to take itself pretty seriously. The cartoonist, who chooses to stay anonymous, explained in an e-mail to The Huffington Post:

“My blog is, in its own way, a tribute to the extraordinary personalities that populate the fashion world. I believe that, while fashion is definitely a very important and serious business, sometimes we take it too seriously. My cartoons put fun, irony and humor back into it!”

Fashion Cartoonist posts standalone images like the one of Rihanna, as well as nods to happenings in pop culture. Elton John’s feud with Dolce & Gabbana got the cartoon treatment, as well as Pharrell and Robin Thicke’s legal troubles. Even Iris Apfel is included, just off the heels of the release of her documentary.

Preach. To see more from Fashion Cartoonist, head to the blog and Instagram.

iris

elton

pharrell robin thicke

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Style – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS UPDATE-Visit Shoe Deals Online today for the hottest deals online for shoes!

How Highly Gendered Toys Present an Exclusively Heterosexual Worldview to Children

When I was a child, these are some of the things I saw in daily life:

• Books, movies and TV shows about husbands and wives, boyfriends
and girlfriends

• Paintings of male/female couples

• Wedding books, photo albums, gowns, bride-and-groom cake
toppers and other wedding-related items

• Men and women walking down the street holding hands

• Math worksheets with word problems about Susie’s mommy
and Susie’s daddy

• Barbie and Ken

The list goes on forever.

Today’s children are more likely to see two men or two women holding hands, more likely to have a friend or relative who is openly gay and more likely to have a schoolmate who has two moms or two dads. But when girls and boys walk into a toy store in 2015, they see a significantly more gendered, heteronormative arrangement and selection of toys than I did as a girl forty years ago! Toys, grouped by gender, are prescriptive of gender roles. It is not only a problem of limiting the ways to be a girl or a boy, as I have written about extensively. It is also a problem of promoting an exclusively heterosexual worldview.

In the boy aisle are the toys that show boys they will become men and husbands who work outside the home at a variety of exciting jobs, make important discoveries, run/jump/play and impact the environment (by fighting, building, solving problems and mysteries and using superpowers to save the world).

Girls learn the yin to the boys’ yang. They see a toy aisle that tells them they will become women and wives who work inside the home, who spend a lot of time cultivating their physical appearance, who focus on attracting males, who are physically sedentary and passive, and who raise babies, cook and clean.

The two aisles can be taken together to represent the heterosexual couple — the bride and groom, but in a decidedly archaic depiction of marriage. Obviously, this message is not a healthy one for raising strong, empowered girls or sensitive, nurturing boys, but it is also unhealthy for any child who is gender-nonconforming or who will not grow up to fulfill traditional heterosexual gender roles.

For the child who does not like the trappings that the world rigidly assigns to his or her gender, or who knows somewhere deep inside that he or she does not fit into the world of play that is presented as all there is, there is discomfort. There is confusion. And often, there is compliance and a very private, perhaps entirely secret thought process that goes something like this: I am not like other girls. I am a girl, but I like the things in the boy aisle. But I can’t go over there, or I could get teased. People will think I’m weird if I like to play with boy toys. Kids might bully me if they know I do not want to be a princess or a bride when I grow up. What I really want is to be a firefighter. But I can’t, and I can’t tell anyone.

A boy who wants to play with dolls will experience similar cognitive dissonance at the toy store. Why? Is pretending to care for a baby not a way of practicing parenthood? For some reason we encourage that behavior in girls, but not in boys. And then we talk about wanting men to be more nurturing fathers to their children. For many parents and other adults in the lives of boys who are not traditionally masculine in their interests and behavior, there is real fear. Fear that this boy might be gay. Disgust that this boy is like a girl, because being feminine is considered a negative trait for boys growing up in a patriarchal society. There really is nothing worse boys can be called than like a girl. As a woman, that offends me!

For these children, profound feelings of isolation and loneliness can be commonplace. This problem can be solved quickly and easily if we as a society so choose. It has already begun to be solved in Europe. There are toy stores across the pond that no longer separate toy aisles by gender. Instead, toys are grouped by type: you have the building toys here, the dress-up costumes there and the arts & crafts kits around the corner. There are no gendered labels. No gendered signage. No downsides! Boys and girls walk through these stores and go to the sections that interest them. What could be simpler? What could be healthier? When will America follow suit? Most importantly, what’s a good reason not to do this? Seriously. How will it hurt you or your child? Inquiring minds want to know.

I hope the thinking changes, for the sake of all children, especially those who do not fit the mold we have artificially constructed for them, and who are often bullied for it. Words like “tomboy” and “sissy” have been used for generations as labels for gender transgression, which is when a girl “acts like a boy” or a boy “acts like a girl.”

I hate these labels. I use them here because I have no other nonacademic, mainstream vocabulary readers could relate to, and because I believe that beginning to see these words negatively is a good thing. These words are not only descriptive but also prescriptive. They say to a child, “that toy is not for you” or “that activity is not for you.” These words are not just limiting, but shaming. Telling a child that his or her natural joy in something that is otherwise safe, fun and stimulating is “for” the opposite gender is essentially saying, “Get back in line.”

I say, take away that line. Let kids choose. What are we so afraid of? If we are fine with choice, it is time to show the toy manufacturers and marketers that their financial profiteering off the gendering of our children’s toys (so they can make twice as much money selling “separate but unequal” products for boys and girls) is over. This means the labeling and signage must go away. There can be pink vacuum cleaners and princess gowns. There can be super heroes and science kits. All that needs to stop is the messaging about what is for whom. The world is full of all kinds of girls and all kinds of boys and a spectrum of sexual orientations and gender identities. We don’t have packages and signs stereotyping toys as being “for white children” or “for children of color”–I mean, can you imagine?

So if we wouldn’t segregate toys racially, let’s stop socializing children from birth to accept stereotypes in terms of gender roles and heteronormativity. Let’s open it up for them and see what blossoms.

Lori Day is an educational psychologist, consultant and parenting coach with Lori Day Consulting in Newburyport, MA. She is the author of Her Next Chapter: How Mother-Daughter Book Clubs Can Help Girls Navigate Malicious Media, Risky Relationships, Girl Gossip and So Much More. You can connect with Lori on Facebook, Twitter or Pinterest.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Gay Voices – The Huffington Post

Chemistry.com gay - First Date 300x250

How Highly Gendered Toys Present an Exclusively Heterosexual Worldview to Children

When I was a child, these are some of the things I saw in daily life:

• Books, movies and TV shows about husbands and wives, boyfriends
and girlfriends

• Paintings of male/female couples

• Wedding books, photo albums, gowns, bride-and-groom cake
toppers and other wedding-related items

• Men and women walking down the street holding hands

• Math worksheets with word problems about Susie’s mommy
and Susie’s daddy

• Barbie and Ken

The list goes on forever.

Today’s children are more likely to see two men or two women holding hands, more likely to have a friend or relative who is openly gay and more likely to have a schoolmate who has two moms or two dads. But when girls and boys walk into a toy store in 2015, they see a significantly more gendered, heteronormative arrangement and selection of toys than I did as a girl forty years ago! Toys, grouped by gender, are prescriptive of gender roles. It is not only a problem of limiting the ways to be a girl or a boy, as I have written about extensively. It is also a problem of promoting an exclusively heterosexual worldview.

In the boy aisle are the toys that show boys they will become men and husbands who work outside the home at a variety of exciting jobs, make important discoveries, run/jump/play and impact the environment (by fighting, building, solving problems and mysteries and using superpowers to save the world).

Girls learn the yin to the boys’ yang. They see a toy aisle that tells them they will become women and wives who work inside the home, who spend a lot of time cultivating their physical appearance, who focus on attracting males, who are physically sedentary and passive, and who raise babies, cook and clean.

The two aisles can be taken together to represent the heterosexual couple — the bride and groom, but in a decidedly archaic depiction of marriage. Obviously, this message is not a healthy one for raising strong, empowered girls or sensitive, nurturing boys, but it is also unhealthy for any child who is gender-nonconforming or who will not grow up to fulfill traditional heterosexual gender roles.

For the child who does not like the trappings that the world rigidly assigns to his or her gender, or who knows somewhere deep inside that he or she does not fit into the world of play that is presented as all there is, there is discomfort. There is confusion. And often, there is compliance and a very private, perhaps entirely secret thought process that goes something like this: I am not like other girls. I am a girl, but I like the things in the boy aisle. But I can’t go over there, or I could get teased. People will think I’m weird if I like to play with boy toys. Kids might bully me if they know I do not want to be a princess or a bride when I grow up. What I really want is to be a firefighter. But I can’t, and I can’t tell anyone.

A boy who wants to play with dolls will experience similar cognitive dissonance at the toy store. Why? Is pretending to care for a baby not a way of practicing parenthood? For some reason we encourage that behavior in girls, but not in boys. And then we talk about wanting men to be more nurturing fathers to their children. For many parents and other adults in the lives of boys who are not traditionally masculine in their interests and behavior, there is real fear. Fear that this boy might be gay. Disgust that this boy is like a girl, because being feminine is considered a negative trait for boys growing up in a patriarchal society. There really is nothing worse boys can be called than like a girl. As a woman, that offends me!

For these children, profound feelings of isolation and loneliness can be commonplace. This problem can be solved quickly and easily if we as a society so choose. It has already begun to be solved in Europe. There are toy stores across the pond that no longer separate toy aisles by gender. Instead, toys are grouped by type: you have the building toys here, the dress-up costumes there and the arts & crafts kits around the corner. There are no gendered labels. No gendered signage. No downsides! Boys and girls walk through these stores and go to the sections that interest them. What could be simpler? What could be healthier? When will America follow suit? Most importantly, what’s a good reason not to do this? Seriously. How will it hurt you or your child? Inquiring minds want to know.

I hope the thinking changes, for the sake of all children, especially those who do not fit the mold we have artificially constructed for them, and who are often bullied for it. Words like “tomboy” and “sissy” have been used for generations as labels for gender transgression, which is when a girl “acts like a boy” or a boy “acts like a girl.”

I hate these labels. I use them here because I have no other nonacademic, mainstream vocabulary readers could relate to, and because I believe that beginning to see these words negatively is a good thing. These words are not only descriptive but also prescriptive. They say to a child, “that toy is not for you” or “that activity is not for you.” These words are not just limiting, but shaming. Telling a child that his or her natural joy in something that is otherwise safe, fun and stimulating is “for” the opposite gender is essentially saying, “Get back in line.”

I say, take away that line. Let kids choose. What are we so afraid of? If we are fine with choice, it is time to show the toy manufacturers and marketers that their financial profiteering off the gendering of our children’s toys (so they can make twice as much money selling “separate but unequal” products for boys and girls) is over. This means the labeling and signage must go away. There can be pink vacuum cleaners and princess gowns. There can be super heroes and science kits. All that needs to stop is the messaging about what is for whom. The world is full of all kinds of girls and all kinds of boys and a spectrum of sexual orientations and gender identities. We don’t have packages and signs stereotyping toys as being “for white children” or “for children of color”–I mean, can you imagine?

So if we wouldn’t segregate toys racially, let’s stop socializing children from birth to accept stereotypes in terms of gender roles and heteronormativity. Let’s open it up for them and see what blossoms.

Lori Day is an educational psychologist, consultant and parenting coach with Lori Day Consulting in Newburyport, MA. She is the author of Her Next Chapter: How Mother-Daughter Book Clubs Can Help Girls Navigate Malicious Media, Risky Relationships, Girl Gossip and So Much More. You can connect with Lori on Facebook, Twitter or Pinterest.

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Gay Voices – The Huffington Post

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‘I’m Not Unstable; Give Me My Children Back’

Jennifer, 40, says she’s a wonderful mother to her three children, ages 20, 18, and 6 — yet they all live with her mom and dad, and her parents have temporary custody of the youngest.

“I do believe that my parents have fraudulently gained custody of my daughter,” says Jennifer, who has supervised visitation. “My parents are claiming that I was diagnosed as bipolar and also schizophrenic. It’s ugly, it’s cruel, it’s not true. They want me to look incompetent.” She continues, “My parents have poisoned the minds of my children against me.”

Jennifer’s parents, Anne and Charles, have a very different view. “We had no choice but to rescue our grandchildren,” says Charles.

Anne adds, “Jenny is mentally ill. She lives in a fantasy world. She was diagnosed bipolar but she doesn’t want to believe it … She’s not capable of being a good mother. I have no other choice.”

But even if Jennifer is mentally ill, Dr. Phil points out, that wouldn’t preclude her from being a fit mother.

“Let me be very clear here,” he says, “and I want to say this on behalf of all of the parents who would have a diagnosis of bipolar [disorder] or schizophrenia — that in no way precludes you from being a quality parent … Why would that be a basis of removing a daughter from your care?”

Dr. Phil explores both sides of this family battle on Monday’s show — watch more here.

Need Dr. Phil’s help in your life? Share your story here.

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Dr. Phil – The Huffington Post

2015 Kids’ Choice Awards: Stars Bring Their Children

Celebrity’s children followed in the famous footsteps of their parents at Nickelodeon’s 28th Annual Kids’ Choice Awards held at The Forum on March 28, 2015 in Inglewood, Calif.


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Kids’ Choice Awards 2015: Emotional Angelina Jolie Tells Children “Different Is Good”


The actress underwent surgery earlier this month to have her ovaries and fallopian tubes removed after doctors detected early signs of possible cancer.

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How To Know If You’re Co-Dependent On Your Children (VIDEO)

In the video above, Dr. Phil confronts a mom, Linda, who admits that she enables her 32-year-old drug-using son, pointing out that she meets this definition of co-dependency: Feelings and actions of another person affect you to the point of losing control of your own life. It’s one-sided, emotionally destructive, abusive verbally or physically.

When Dr. Phil pushes her, Linda also recognizes that her behavior is characteristic of someone who is co-dependent: excessive care-taking, low self-esteem, the need to be needed, only feeling important as it relates to the other, denial (e.g., ignoring, minimizing or rationalizing problems in the relationship), fear of anger, health problems, and addictive behavior.

When Dr. Phil asks Linda to grade her own paper, she admits, “Failed.”

Dr. Phil tells her: “This is on you. You’re the adult and he is the child … Your job as a parent — all your jobs as parents — is to prepare your child for the next level of life. It’s not to be liked by them, it’s to prepare them for the next level of life.”

Need Dr. Phil’s help in your life? Share your story here.

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Dr. Phil – The Huffington Post

How to Help Children Ages 6-12 Through Your Divorce

School-age children ages 6 through 12 can be highly impacted by divorce. Children of this age group are trying to integrate their parents’ separation. This can be only done in relation to their own stage of development. It is most important at this time that you do not speak negatively about your ex-spouse. That can only serve to confront your child’s own sense of self and identity. The better you and your ex can get along after divorce, the easier it is for your children to adjust.

You can help minimize the negative effects of divorce on children in this age group by working together, as a team, on the following:

  1. Ensure a stable and consistent visitation schedule. This gives your child a structure that can create security.
  2. Do not create conflict during visitation exchanges.
  3. Do not burden your children with your own emotional problems. If necessary, see a counselor, but don’t stress your child.
  4. Maintain communication with teachers and school personnel. Partner with your child’s school counselor and teachers by letting them know what is happening. This way, they can help keep an eye out for, and alert you to, unusual behavior, such as missing schoolwork, not paying attention in class or aggressive behavior.
  5. Know your child’s history. If your child has problems with stress, it will be more difficult for him to adapt to separation. This child needs good parenting from both parents, which includes safety, love, nurturing, meeting needs and understanding.
  6. Age-appropriate communication is paramount. Be open with your child and answer his questions with as much gentle honesty as you can. However, don’t put your child in a loyalty double-bind, and don’t question him about your ex.
  7. Allow your children to have a voice in the day-to-day decisions. This can include helping to decide on the new sleeping arrangements, home décor such as sheets, blankets, pillows and bedspreads and where to go on Spring Break. This also means allowing your children to have a voice in creating new family traditions. When parents divorce, children often feel out of control because they didn’t have a say or any options in the decision to divorce. These small experiences of choice help your children feel invested in their new family.
  8. Finally, use my Empathic Process. The Empathic Process is an approach I developed for parents and children to communicate in a safe and open space. It teaches children how to talk to their parents about their feelings, while parents actively listen without defense. Then parents get a chance to speak. Ultimately, parents and children speak together solving their problem, by investing each participant in the solution. This undefended experience creates a safe space in which parent and child can return when needed.

Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

Dating With Kids: Are Your Children Ready to Meet Your New Sweetheart?

As a parent, you have the most important job in the world: Shaping the character of another human being and giving that human being the best possible chance at a happy, healthy, well-adjusted adult life.

Every choice you make, every day, influences your kids in a very direct way.

Bringing a new boyfriend or girlfriend home to meet the kids? That’s a huge choice.

Before you dive into it, take some time to carefully consider whether or not your kids are ready for this kind of “big event.”

The following guidelines and questions — which I’ve used with hundreds of families in counseling and coaching sessions — can help you to arrive at a confident decision.

Before your introduce a new sweetheart to your kids…

Ask yourself:

1. Are my kids ready to see me in a new relationship?

Is the ink barely dry on your divorce papers? Are your kids still adjusting to life without both parents living under one roof? Did you recently go through a break up that your kids had to witness? Are they still upset about it?

Use common sense and patience. Seeing you with a new partner — mere weeks or months after the end of your previous relationship — could feel disruptive to your kids.

This doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to date right now — you certainly can if you want to! Enjoy your dates, just think twice before bringing your new sweetheart home.

If this new relationship is truly meant to last, there will be plenty of opportunities to have your kids get to know your new sweetie in the future.

2. What kind of messages do I want to give my kids when it comes to dating, love, sex and partnership?

Do you want to teach your kids that sex is something you do when you are lonely or bored, or something you do as part of a committed, devoted relationship?

Are you in a serious relationship with your new sweetheart, or is he or she just the flavor of the week or month?

Think carefully about the types of lessons you want to teach your kids. Make sure that your actions are in alignment — not in conflict — with the messages you want to impart.

3. Do my kids need more attention from me than I’ve been giving them lately?

When you’re swept up in a new romance, it’s common to have that new sweetheart become the focal point of your universe. You’re experiencing a huge rush of happy-making endorphins and you just can’t stop thinking about them!

This is understandable, but… your kids must come first. If you feel like you’ve been a little emotionally “checked out” lately — or physically out of the house more than usual, going on dates or late dinners away from home — this means it is time to be with your kids, just you and them, together, rather than introducing somebody new into the mix.

If your kids are feeling a bit forgotten or neglected, the last thing you want to do is bring home your sweetheart and then spend the day drooling and grinning at him — or her. Seeing this will only make your kids feel more left out and abandoned — which can lead to tantrums, outbursts, insolence and other cries for attention.

4. Do I plan to spend the rest of my life with my new sweetheart? Do they feel the same way about me?

This is THE big question. If you are not feeling certain that this person is Mr. Right or Ms. Forever, then it is definitely too soon to introduce this new person to your kids.

Why disrupt your kids’ lives by bringing him or her into the picture if you’re not feeling certain about the future?

5. Have I talked to my sweetheart about co-parenting to make sure we’re on the same page?

If your sweetheart comes over to hang out with you and your kids — for an hour, an evening, a weekend — what are the ground rules?

Does your sweetheart understand the rules of your household? Are they responsible for enforcing consequences for misbehavior when you’re out of the room — or is that solely your responsibility? If you are eventually going to blend two families together, how will you agree upon things like bedtime, morning routines, curfews, chores?

This kinds of co-parenting conversations are absolutely essential. If you and your partner aren’t clear, calm and unified, your kids will sense the disconnect, feel unsettled, and may very well respond by acting out and misbehaving.

Make sure you and your sweetheart are in alignment. That’s the kind of strength and partnership your kids need to feel and see.

Remember: No matter how swoony, tingly and excited you feel about a new relationship, your children are — and always will be — your top priority.

The values you teach them now, while they are young, are the values that they are going to live by and teach their own children, too.

Focus on your children and their well-being. Make your home a happy one.

Focus on family life. Make your family a close-knit one.

Think carefully before you invest your time, energy and possibly your children’s hearts into a new relationship.

Move thoughtfully. Be patient. Be wise. Always err on the side of caution. Go slow.

When it’s truly the right time, you will know.

Suzanne Gelb, Ph.D., J.D., is a clinical psychologist, life coach and family law attorney. She believes that it is never too late to become the person you want to be. Strong. Confident. Calm. Creative. Free of all of the burdens that have held you back–no matter what has happened in the past.

Her insights on personal growth have been featured on more than 200 radio programs, 200 TV interviews and online at Forbes, Newsweek, Lifehacker, The Daily Love, Positively Positive, and many other places.

Step into her virtual office at DrSuzanneGelb.com, explore her blog, book a private session, or sign up to receive a free meditation and her weekly writings on health, happiness and self-respect.


Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

Ricky Martin uses music to tackle trafficking of children

Ricky Martin performs at the iHeartRadio Theater Los Angeles in Burbank, CaliforniaThirty years after Ricky Martin got his start in music in the Puerto Rican kids' group "Menudo," the Grammy-winning singer uses his music and celebrity to help fight against the trafficking of children. Fresh off a new album, "A Quien Quiera Escuchar," the 43-year-old Martin said he relishes getting in front of a crowd to talk about children forced into prostitution and pornography. "Not only in Puerto Rico, all over the world, here in the United States, huge numbers, when it comes to kids that are becoming slaves," Martin told Reuters in an interview this week. The "Livin' la Vida Loca" singer opened a center in Puerto Rico last year to combat oppression against children.



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Marvin Gaye’s Children: What Our Father Would Say About Lawsuit

Marvin Gaye’s children have penned an open letter in the hope of “set[ting] the record straight on a few misconceptions” in the media’s coverage of their successful lawsuit against the writers of Robin Thicke’s 2013 hit “Blurred Lines.”

Nona Gaye, Frankie Gaye and Marvin Gaye III’s joint letter mainly dives into the background…
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The Impact of Divorce on Children of Different Ages

Children of all ages react to divorce, and are influenced by the environment parents create before, during, and after divorce. The better that children can understand the concept of what is happening, the easier it is to integrate their fear and grief. This can help them adjust at any age; however, it is important to remember that children of different ages will have different understandings of what divorce means and they will react differently to divorce. The developing brain of early childhood can be very vulnerable to stress, and school-age children who are in the process of developing their own identities may be negatively impacted from the stress hormone cortisol that can change brain architecture and impulse control if sustained over a long enough period of time.

How Divorce Impacts Toddlers

Toddlers ages one through three have limited cognitive ability. They are confused about divorce. Further, they do not necessarily have the coping skills yet to address the alterations and adjustments. As a result, they can be more vulnerable to emotional problems later in life. Moreover, young children personalize their world; as a result, they may feel that their parents’ divorce is their fault.

How Divorce Impacts School-Age Children

For school age children (ages 6-12), parental divorce can negatively impact education. This age group is still in magical thinking; they may hold out the wish that their parents will get back together. In this age group, children are still very egocentric and can feel responsible for not only their parents’ separation, but for the possibility of a reconciliation. Children ages six through 12 grieve the loss of their parents’ marriage. It is almost inconceivable that that their parents, that belong to them, are no longer living together, and that in fact, one parent is living apart.

Children have no option in divorce and may feel completely out of control. So, when children experience such distress, they may display regressive or aggressive behavior. School is the perfect environment in which to act out. Withdrawal, aggression, needy, and disobedient behavior can all be seen in the classroom. Daydreaming and not doing schoolwork are behaviors seen by the teacher by children of divorce. Also children ages 6-12 are old enough to understand that their parents have detached from one another. It is here that children criticize one parent or the other and might show their anger by deliberately taking sides.

Divorce is never easy for anyone involved. It is an emotionally challenging psychological journey for both parents and children to undergo. But in the end, the most important thing to remember is the vulnerability of your children. Therefore, your main job as the parent is to help your children adjust successfully, to be there for them, and to make sure they know they are loved.

In upcoming posts, I will share tips on how to help children in these different age groups deal with divorce.
Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

Divorcing Parents: 4 Ways You Can Be Super Heroes To Your Children

2015-03-06-1425663680-41506-bigstockauritsuperkids01.jpg

Divorcing parents: you can be super heroes to your children. Here’s the plot twist: becoming their super hero means accepting that your children deserve to experience both a “Super-Mom” and “Super-Dad.” Your marriage is ending, but your relationship as co-parents continues. Super hero status depends on whether you exercise your powers to communicate positively with your children about their other co-parent. They need your permission and encouragement, demonstrated by all of your words and actions, to enjoy their relationship with your ex-spouse and feel supported for doing so.

This may sound flat-out horrible to you! The worse it sounds, the more you probably need to hear it. Amidst the overwhelming challenges presented by your divorce, your first act of heroism is to begin thinking about one another as co-parents, and move away from “ex-talk.” Your number one priority now is to make the healthiest possible choices–big and small–for your kids. Please consider these four commitments you can make as co-parents that will change the course of your children’s lives and in the process, possibly save yours too.

1. Begin to access your super power–choose a healthier divorce.

The best decision divorcing spouses can make is choosing divorce mediation, instead of an ugly street fight in court. Most legal battles cause harm to your children. Litigation encourages spouses to become enemies. The increased intensity and duration of conflict can damage your child’s development and cause serious long-term problems. Consider how doubling-down on negative feelings about your spouse in a divorce war might affect your children, who need both of you as a source of love and stability in their lives, especially during a time of epic change.

In divorce mediation, you and your spouse together, with the help of a qualified neutral mediator, will address all of issues that a judge would decide: property and debt division, support issues and child custody (in mediation called a “parenting plan”). By avoiding court and engaging in respectful communication, you will stay in control of your own future and lower your family’s stress level. This is your first step–and an essential one–toward building a more peaceful co-parenting future and setting the stage to become super heroes to your children.

2. Be truthful–but tell them only what they need to know.

Child specialists agree that parents need to communicate honestly and in advance that the separation is happening, the reasons behind it, and what the future might look like for the family. While specific approaches vary depending on age, renowned child psychologist and pioneering custody mediator, Donald Saposnek, Ph.D., urges parents to agree upon a truthful, carefully framed “mutual story of the divorce.”

First, parents should tell their children together about the divorce. Children need to hear “one mutual and consistent story” about why and how the divorce will happen, according to Saposnek. Telling your children a “mutual story,” in which neither parent is “bad,” joint responsibility for the divorce is taken and personal details are spared, will help them view the divorce as a “family re-organization” rather than a “break-up.” It will allow them to bond with both of you within the re-organized family from the outset.

For example, instead of Mom telling the children that the divorce is a result of Dad’s cheating and lack of care for the family, and Dad telling the children that Mom has been mean to him for years, a “mutual story” would focus on how much Mom and Dad both love them. It would also express how they will always be safe and cared for, and that although this may be difficult for everyone for a time, everything will be okay.

“Mommy and Daddy tried as hard as they could to live happily together but we have grown-up problems that we just can’t fix, so we’ve both decided that we shouldn’t be married anymore. We will always love you and take good care of you and be your Mommy and Daddy. You need to know that our divorce is not your fault. You haven’t done anything wrong. We are both very proud of you. Even though Mom and Dad will live in two different houses, you will see us both and we will keep loving you, and taking care of you and will each have special time with you. We both agree that it is important for us not to fight anymore and that we will be happier living in separate places.”

The “tell them what they need to know” approach applies after your divorce too. Spare the details as questions may arise or bumps occur in your co-parenting relationship. Agree on how you may need to elaborate on the mutual story as time goes on.

3. Never argue with or criticize your co-parent in the presence of your children.

The true hero is a parent who prevents an argument from occurring in front of their children, not the parent who wins an argument. Never argue or fight with one another in front of your kids. It is a sin against their childhood. There is no excuse for it. So, learn to control yourself. Perhaps agree with your co-parent on a “code word” for when tense moments arise that signals: “we-both-need-to-STOP-NOW-because-continuing-will-permanently-damage-our-children.” Whatever it takes.

Speaking negatively about or criticizing your co-parent within earshot of your kids is equally harmful. Many child experts would call it “emotional child abuse.” When you attack your co-parent, you are also attacking your children. This makes sense because children view themselves as being a part of both of you. A condescending comment or a display of anger about your co-parent will cause unnatural stress on your children and can make them feel belittled and lower their self-esteem.

You are still entitled to your feelings and need to express them, but not to your children or anywhere near them. Beware: They can probably hear you talking on the phone in your house, or with a friend or relative while they sit in the backseat of your car.

4. Proactively support your children’s relationship with your co-parent.

In addition to shielding your children from negativity, by positively reinforcing your co-parent when communicating with your children, you will advance healthy child development. I’m not claiming that it will be easy! In order to “talk the positive talk” with your children, it helps to “walk the positive walk” with your co-parent.

First, get yourself in the right frame of mind. Keep reminding yourself that your goal as a parent is not to win a popularity contest. Even if it were, omitting opportunities to positively support your co-parent would not help you win one in the end. Understand that for a while you may need to just “go through the motions” of practicing positive communication.

Second, find consensus with your co-parent about fostering a supportive co-parenting relationship. Agree that your children have an absolute right to a positive and full relationship with both of you. Agree that you will both look for ways to support your children’s relationship with the other, regardless of your personal feelings at any given moment. Agree to continuously communicate with each other about child’s needs.

Building this foundation of mutual understanding may allow positive communications about your co-parent come more naturally. If you’ve undertaken divorce mediation with a sophisticated mediator, you’ll lay the groundwork there. Many co-parents also greatly benefit from the expert advice of a therapist or social worker, during or post-divorce, who specializes in healthy co-parenting.

And finally, just do it. Here are some tips.

1. Refer to one another “Mommy” and “Daddy” or “Mom and “Dad” rather than “your Mom/Mother” or “your Dad/Father.”

2. Sincerely encourage your children to call or FaceTime the other during your own parenting time.

3. Celebrate the time, activities, and fun moments your children had with your co-parent.

“I’m excited to hear what you and Daddy did this weekend! … Wow, you went to the train park–that must have been so fun.”

“Cool new backpack. Did Mommy get that for you? I love it.”

4. Have a photo–or a few–of your children with your co-parent in your home. It can be a reminder that you are both there for them, wherever they go. You can be clear that even though you and your co-parent are no longer married, you still respect one another as co-parents.

5. Make a list of ten positive memories or good characteristics of your co-parent. Share them, one by one, when the time is right. Repeat them too. You might tell the story of your co-parents’ reaction when your child was born, a time your co-parent did a good deed for someone else or share a talent that your co-parent possesses.

The most heroic gift you can give your children is taking every opportunity possible to speak positively about your co-parent. Divorce in itself will not likely damage your children. However, how you choose to get divorced and behave after your divorce will make the difference. Choose to be super heroes to your kids. In doing so, you may also discover that you are the greatest super hero to yourself.

Michael Aurit, JD, MDR is a professional mediator, attorney, and Founder of The Aurit Center for Divorce Mediation in Scottsdale, Arizona. He is a member of the American Bar Association Dispute Resolution Section (ABA-DR), The Academy of Professional Family Mediators (APFM), The Association for Conflict Resolution (ACR), and the Maricopa County Association of Family Mediators (MCAFM). He holds his Juris Doctorate from Pepperdine University School of Law and Masters of Dispute Resolution from the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at Pepperdine. To learn more, visit AuritMediation.com or contact Michael at michael@auritmediation.com.
Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

Children Recite the “I Have a Dream Speech” | The Oprah Winfrey Show | Oprah Winfrey Network

Original airdate: January 21, 2008

‘Children aren’t born hating,’ Oprah says. ‘In every single instance, racism is something that is taught.’ Oprah considers the coming generation to be ‘the most color-blind in history,’ and offers hope that they could yet help the world realize Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s dream, demonstrating for humanity ‘how to judge people based on the content of their character and not the color of their skin.’ Watch as children from far and wide recite the words that could free us all.

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Oprah Winfrey Network is the first and only network named for, and inspired by, a single iconic leader. Oprah Winfrey’s heart and creative instincts inform the brand — and the magnetism of the channel.

Oprah Winfrey Network is the first and only network named for, and inspired by, a single iconic leader. Oprah Winfrey’s heart and creative instincts inform the brand — and the magnetism of the channel.

Winfrey provides leadership in programming and attracts superstar talent to join her in primetime, building a global community of like-minded viewers and leading that community to connect on social media and beyond. OWN is a singular destination on cable. Depth with edge. Heart. Star power. Connection. And endless possibilities.

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The Broken World Book One: Children of Another God – T C Southwell

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The Broken World Book One: Children of Another God

Broken World, no. 1

T C Southwell

Genre: Epic

Publish Date: December 19, 2010

Publisher: T C Southwell

Seller: Smashwords


Mujar do not use their powers for good or evil, they simply exist, immortal and apparently purposeless. The mounted warriors are known as the Black Riders, but no one knows where they come from or why they seem bent on exterminating every man, woman and child. Talsy uses her father’s knowledge to trap the Mujar with gold, which has an odd effect on them. Her father intends to throw him in a Pit, from which he will be unable to escape. Talsy does not believe the Mujar deserves such a fate, so she frees him and begs him to take her with him on his journey. He agrees, and they set off across Shamarese, continuing his quest to find an old hermit’s lost son. There is far more at stake than Talsy realises, however, and she has innocently stumbled upon the last free Mujar, who has the power to decide the fate of her race…

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Drew Barrymore Is in No Rush to Slim Down After Having Two Children

After having two daughters, Drew Barrymore reveals she is in no rush to slim down and that her family always takes precedence over hitting the gym.
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Men, Women & Children – Jason Reitman

Jason Reitman - Men, Women & Children  artwork

Men, Women & Children

Jason Reitman

Genre: Drama

Price: $ 19.99

Rental Price: $ 3.99

Release Date: November 20, 2014


A provocative new drama from acclaimed director Jason Reitman, that looks at our world through five interconnected families in a small town and examines the question of whether the technology meant to connect us is actually drawing us further apart.

© © 2014 Paramount Pictures Corporation and Chocolate Milk Pictures LLC. All Rights Reserved.

iTunes Store: Top Movies in Drama

Adult Children With Recently Divorced Parents: 10 Ways to Navigate the Holidays

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When I was 27 years old, my family went on a trip to the mountains for Christmas. While we drove in a snow storm late at night from the airport to the cabin we rented, it somehow came out that my dad would not be joining us. In fact, my parents would be getting a divorce. Next, imagine the family shit show that ensued while driving through that snow storm. No one was happy that Christmas despite being in a beautiful winter wonderland. While my brothers and cousins went skiing on Christmas Day, I was so sad I couldn’t get out of bed. My aunt and uncle comforted me and eventually managed to coax me out of bed. I tried to be grateful for my many blessings that Christmas, but I just felt so sad. For my brothers and me, our parents’ marriage and the façade of having a “perfect” family dissolved on Christmas 2008.

I’ll never forget the first Christmas after that fateful one. At that next Christmas gathering of extended family, no one asked about my parent that wasn’t present or even acknowledged that they still existed on this earth despite the fact that they had been an active member of the family for 30 years. I was hurt. I felt that I had to pretend that everything was normal even though I was so sad and frustrated inside. I ended up in tears with my sweet Grandmother comforting me.

Now 6 years later, things are better. In fact, things are better than they were before my parents split, but there are always dynamics to navigate through. When your parents divorce when you are an adult, you may be relied upon by your parents for emotional support, to be a messenger from one parent to the other, and you may feel guilt ridden if one parent is alone on a holiday. Sometimes you have to parent your own parents. And that can be uncomfortable.

The holidays are still somewhat stressful and anxiety provoking for my brothers and me because of figuring out what holiday will be spent with whom and how not to hurt our parents’ feelings. This year, I decided to do something different. For the first time, I will not be going “home” for Christmas. Instead, I decided to do exactly what I want and not be driven by the desire to please my family. While I love them dearly and will miss them, I am also happy about creating my own Christmas this year.

Here is my advice for the holidays to all the other adult children of recently divorced parents out there:

1) Be authentically you and stop pretending everything is ok. Pretending is more painful. You don’t need to announce to the entire holiday gathering of extended family that you are sad and feeling uneasy over your parents recent split. Try and confide in someone empathetic at your family gathering–perhaps your favorite cousin or an uncle with whom you are close. You will most likely find comfort in expressing your feelings to someone outside of your immediate family.

2) Create boundaries. If you are going to your hometown, stay at a hotel or a friend’s home instead of with your family. You may need your space. Sometimes staying in your childhood home amidst your parents recent divorce can make the wounds worse.

3) If you have siblings, rely on each other for emotional support. If you don’t have siblings, ask for support from a friend who has had a similar experience. I am so thankful for my brothers, especially over the last 6 years.

4) Host one of the holidays at your own home. Ask your family to your home for the holidays and start creating a new way of doing the holidays. Planning and preparing to host might just be the distraction you need.

5) Humor! If you can make light of the challenging situation with managing your parents recent divorce, you can diffuse (at least temporarily) the sadness and anxiety.

6) Do what you want to do for the holidays and not what you are “expected” to do. Don’t try to please your family by being the “good daughter” or “good son” by joining the family gathering if you are not up for it this year. Do your own thing and let go of the guilt.

7) Remember you are not responsible for your parents’ happiness. While of course grown children can enhance a parent’s feelings of happiness and joy, your parents should not derive the bulk of their inner happiness from you.

8) Excuse your family members. If you are at a family gathering and your extended family members don’t ask about your other parent not present or don’t acknowledge the difficult situation you are going through, know that they love you dearly but are limited in their ability to expresses their feelings. They simply just don’t know how to do it. Excuse them for this.

9) You are not alone. Remember almost everyone–those that have divorced parents and those with married parents–deal with some level of challenging family dynamics during the holidays. There are plenty of other family- shit-show-holiday-showdowns going on out there too!

10) If a family member of an adult child whose parents recently split is reading this, express your empathy in whatever way to can. Ask about the other parent not present. It goes along way and provides comfort for your loved one.
Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

What Our Children Would Say to Us If They Could – Oprah's Lifeclass – OWN

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Parents have a tendency to label kids as defiant when they don’t match preconceived notions of how children should behave, according to award-winning author Dr. Shefali Tsabary. But, if you listen closely, your child is trying to send you a message in every argument and act of misbehavior. Watch as Dr. Shefali reveals what all children would communicate if only they had the words.

For more Oprah’s Lifeclass, visit http://www.oprah.com/OprahsLifeclass

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