Swanky Dining

The couple entered the resort’s swanky dining room. “I’m sorry,” apologized the Maitre D, “but there are no tables available.”

“One moment, my friend,” said the man, drawing himself up. “I happen to be Gregory R. Caruthers, the sportsman.”

“I’d like to accommodate you, Mr. Caruthers, but there just isn’t a table available this evening.”

“I bet if the President came in and asked for a table, there’d be one available.”

“Yes-s-s,” the other admitted, “I suppose there would be a table available for the President.”

“Good! I’ll take it. He isn’t coming!”

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Barack Obama Gets Rock Star Treatment While Dining On Martha’s Vineyard

[[tmz:video id=”0_fqka34c9″]] Barack Obama has officially transcended presidential popularity — ’cause he’s now getting treated like a top-tier A-list powerhouse who just wrapped an epic concert or something. 44 was dining with Michelle Monday night at…


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News in Brief: Terrifying Server Whole-Heartedly Cares About Guests’ Dining Experience

Roseville, MN—Reeling in horror as she stopped by their table yet again to check on how their meals were tasting and to cheerfully ask if she could get them anything else, a party of diners at a local Buffalo Wild Wings confirmed to reporters Thursday that terrifying server Jane Gember appeared to genuinely care about their dining experience. “When I couldn’t decide which Sam Adams draft beer I wanted, she offered to bring me samples of each—that’s when the whole table realized we were dealing with a completely unhinged individual,” said visibly petrified patron Abby Cowans, who described the awful moment when a broadly smiling Gember leaned right in to inquire whether Cowans enjoyed the Potato Wedges she had recommended to pair with her Chicken Buffalito. “I can feel my heart stop every time she comes over to our table and tells us how she’s …

The Onion

How to Eat Healthy While Dining Out: What to Order at 5 New York City Restaurants

Photographed by Eric Boman, Vogue, July 2012

Thanks to the rise of healthy food delivery services and nutritional bloggers, sticking to a clean, well-rounded diet at home is easier than ever. But Manhattan’s best new restaurants beckon, and with them, their menu options (which don’t always share your dietary goals). We had to wonder: Is it possible to eat out as well as you would at home and still enjoy what the city’s most talented chefs have to offer? According to nutritionist Kimberly Snyder, the answer is yes.

When Snyder sits down to eat, she and her clients (including Reese Witherspoon, Drew Barrymore, and Kerry Washington) are not counting calories. “I don’t think it’s necessary or effective for long-term weight loss or health.” Instead, she trains her eye on nutrient-dense whole foods that can be broken down easily by the body. Rule number one of dining out, she says, is to start every dinner with a green salad. “I call it the bulletproof vest. It’s a great [source of] enzymes and fiber,” which, she notes, also acts as a natural source of portion control.

But when it comes to choosing an entree, she looks for appetizing vegetable-driven main courses. “Meat can be very acid forming,” she explains. Snyder prefers fish to red meat as a source of animal protein, especially if it’s been broiled or baked. “Pan-seared means [the kitchen] is adding oil and cooking the fish in its own fat.” Though, when considering chicken or steak, the cleaner the source, the better, says Snyder. “There is plenty of organic, free-range meat offered in New York City.” She also steers clear of dairy, like heavy cheese and cream-driven sauces—especially in excess.

With those ground rules in mind, we asked Snyder to browse the menus of five Manhattan hot spots, from Midtown’s French revival, Chevalier, to the East Village’s latest love letter to Mexico, Rosie’s. Here, what to order when you nab one of the hardest reservations to get in town.


THE APPETIZER: Cauliflower, curry, and crushed black sesame
THE ENTRÉE: Black bass with bok choy and mushroom broth

At the Whitney Museum’s new organic ground-level restaurant, there are enough healthy options that Snyder says you can easily steer away from “depleting ingredients” like Caesar dressing or fried food. “Anything that says fritters means fried, which I would not order—cooked fats can congest your body.” Instead, she’d opt for the curry-spiced cauliflower followed by an entrée of black bass served with fiber-loaded bok choy and immune system–boosting mushroom broth.

99 Gansevoort Street


THE APPETIZER: Little gem salad with Queens Farm lettuces, almonds, pear, and chardonnay vinaigrette
THE ENTRÉE: Whole crispy hen-of-the-woods mushroom, Cloumage, and herbs
THE SIDES: Seared brussels sprouts, Meyer lemon, oregano, and chili

After nixing hunger pangs with an antioxidant- and vitamin-rich salad, Snyder says she would continue to fill up on this Flatiron restaurant’s organic veggies. “Not every restaurant offers really filling, protein-dense vegetarian options, but since this one does, why not go for an alkalizing, veggie-based dinner?” She has a point. Immunity-boosting hen-of-the-woods mushrooms, “revered in Japan for their amazing health properties,” are enhanced with fresh herbs; meanwhile, brussels sprouts, which Snyder points out “are a great source of protein and calcium,” come with a kick of chili and a spritz of Meyer lemon—“a great liver-supporting and detoxifying food.”

345 Park Avenue South


THE APPEITZER: Nopales ensalada
THE ENTRÉE: Enchiladas suizas with mixed wild greens or chicken

The first thing to catch Snyder’s eye on the menu at the new East Village Mexican eatery is the nopales ensalada. “I love that they have nopales,” she says of the calcium- and antioxidant-rich cactus. “It’s a great beauty food”—one made all the lighter when ordered without queso blanco. For a main dish, the spicy enchiladas suizas come one of two ways—Snyder says she would opt for the vegetarian version with wild greens and black beans “plus a side of guacamole.” Though, she notes that the organic chicken is another healthy alternative. Whichever way you order the dish, she suggests holding the melted cheese and cream.

29 East Second Street


THE APPETIZER: Spring salad
THE ENTRÉE: Halibut à l’Orange

When going French, it’s best to start simple, says Snyder. “Fancy appetizers can lead to more digestive work and bloating.” Instead, a foliage-driven dish, like Chevalier’s spring salad will benefit you later in the meal. “The fiber helps you digest everything you eat afterwards better, and it acts as a natural form of portion control without having to count calories.” For a main course, the nutritionist tends to favor fish over other animal proteins. Halibut à l’orange is a no-brainer. “According to some fish lists, halibut may be a fish lower in toxins,” she points out. Though vegetarians might have luck making a special request for a vegetable plate. “They have a lot of vegetables scattered throughout the entrées and offer green asparagus as a side—hopefully [the restaurant] would be accommodating.”

28 West Fifty-third Street


THE APPETIZER: Insalata verde
THE ENTRÉE: Pizza bianche primavera
THE SIDES: Black rice and spring peas

Pizza is the menu highlight of this restaurant making waves at the Martha Washington Hotel. Luckily, Snyder says to dig in as long as you don’t suffer from gluten intolerance.  “Order one loaded with veggies like cremini mushrooms or spring greens and herbs, sans cheese,” she says. “Start with the insalata verde, then order the spring peas,” which come with an unsung superfood: “Black rice is said to be high in antioxidants with anti-inflammatory qualities.”

29 East Twenty-ninth Street

The post How to Eat Healthy While Dining Out: What to Order at 5 New York City Restaurants appeared first on Vogue.

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20 Coachella Dining Options in Palm Springs

20 Coachella Dining Options in Palm SpringsIf you're heading to Palm Springs for Coachella, you're going to want to check out these eateries. Luckily, there are more excellent options this year than ever before, especially in hipper-by-the-minute Palm Springs proper (where many off-campus dwellers will be probably be staying).

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You’re the World’s Greatest Mom, Mom, Which Is Why Tonight We’ll Be Dining at Hooters


Dearest Mother,

Happy Mother’s Day!

Was it Joyce that wrote, “Whatever else is unsure in this stinking dunghill of a world a mother’s love is not?” I know exactly what he means. For the past thirty years, I have never once doubted your slavish devotion to me, your best and only child. You are the bedrock, the lynchpin, the gluey Mom-particle slathered across the construction paper of my reality.

When my shoelaces needed tying, who bent down and tied them? You did. When my boo-boos needed bandaging last week, who was there to wipe away the tears and apply immediate, life saving first-aid? You were, that’s who. When that vindictive, alcoholic judge set my bail at fifty thousand dollars, who took out a second mortgage on her home to pay for it? And who forfeited that bail money and lost that home when I crossed the state line to go to the “good” gentleman’s club? I bet you know what I’m going to write next without me even having to write it. That’s just how strong our mother/son bond is.

Sometimes it makes me wonder: is there really ever any way to repay a woman who has given so much? The woman who gave the precious gift of life itself…?

I would say, affirmatively, yes. Yes, there is. You’re the most important woman in my life, Mom, and that’s why we’re going to celebrate YOU this Mother’s Day–at Hooters. The one closest to my house.

Ah! I can already imagine your lips parting in protest! Has motherly selflessness lodged in your breast for so long that you have no vacancies for the thoughtful gesture of a grateful son? Look, Mom, I know you’re worried about the cost, but you don’t have to. As I told you last Christmas when I bought you Marvel’s The Avengers on Blu-ray Disc (and you, bless your thrifty soul, said I shouldn’t have), the central bank of my heart will always print out more money for you. Whatever your heart desires, from a pitcher of our nation’s finest mass-produced domestic beer to a t-shirt that reads “I Got Double Ds in High School,” it’s yours.

That said, given my current fiscal crisis, I’d ask you to limit your entree purchase to $ 10.

Tonight it’s about you and me, Mom. I want to hear more about your craft projects, and how things are going since Dad left us for that young harlot. The farthest thing from my mind will be the parade of busty, apple-bottomed, scantily clad women cooing about what a “darling” and “sweetheart” I am for taking you out on Mother’s Day. When the breasts of Brandi, our waitress, crash into my shoulder blades with all the passion and drama of shifting tectonic plates, it will barely register on my Richter scale. Because I’ll be paying rapt attention to your story about what’s her face who did that thing in your Sunday School class or whatever.

I can’t conceive of a more perfect place to rejoice in the enduring love of mother and son, can you? Everywhere I turn there will be a monument to you. The basket of Buffalo wings upon which we shall snack will be tender and slightly sweet, much like your ever-patient care for me. Everywhere I look I will see your face beaming at mine: from your actual face, which will be right in front of me, to your food face that I will make on my plate out of curly fries (your Pre-Raphaelite tresses!) and a “I-Just-Don’t-Give-A-HOOT” Triple Cheeseburger.

The maternal presence of the Hooters Owl, watching over me with those massive, melon-like eyes, will make me think about things. Big things. Big, heaving things. Big, heaving, sweaty, globular things…

I mean, the big things in life. You know, like, “‘Hoo-hoo’ am I? I’d be nothing without my Mom.”

And just when your heart feels like it is going to burst at a son’s solemn show of love (with you feigning heartburn, but I know you!) I will unveil my last surprise. A literal cherry on top. I will have whispered into Brandi’s ear that it is not only Mother’s Day, but also your birthday. As a chorus line of blondes and redheads and brunettes and even an Asian (remind me to get her number) jiggles and bounces and titters through a rendition of the happy birthday song just for you, I will look over and see the tears in your eyes.

You won’t have to say anything because I know what you’ll be thinking: “I have the best son in the world.”


Comedy – The Huffington Post
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