Kim Kardashian and Kanye West discussing divorce

Kim Kardashian West and Kanye West are figuring out their future and whether they are going to stay married, according to two sources close to Kardashian West who spoke to CNN.


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Fetty Wap’s Bitter Divorce with Leandra Gonzalez is Final

Fetty Wap’s gonna have to figure out life in the single lane during a pandemic … ’cause the rapper’s officially divorced. Fetty and Leandra Gonzalez agreed to a divorce settlement and the judge signed off on it on September 4 to make it official…

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Cardi B’s Camp Reportedly Denies Offset Is Expecting Child With Another Woman Amid Divorce

A wild rumor about the Migos member began to spread when the couple's split went public.


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‘Happy Days’ Star Anson Williams Files for Divorce, 2nd Time in 10 Months

6/11 — Anson just explained why he filed divorce docs for the 2nd time in 10 months, telling TMZ … “When I canceled the divorce filing in September, we agreed for the sake of the children to remain apart and to lead separate lives. However, even…

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Jaime King Files for Divorce from Husband, Asks for Restraining Order

Jaime King wants out of her marriage — she’s just filed for divorce, and based on the documents it doesn’t appear to be an amicable split. TMZ’s learned the model/actress filed legal docs Monday in L.A. to divorce her husband, director Kyle…

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‘Call On Me’ Swedish DJ Eric Prydz’s Wife Files for Divorce

The record just scratched on Eric Prydz’s marriage … his wife wants a divorce. The famous Swedish DJ’s wife, Sofie, filed for divorce on April 27 in L.A. citing irreconcilable differences. Eric and Sofie were married for nearly 5 years and have 2…

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Princess Love Files For Divorce From Ray J

Princess Love is officially waving the white flag on her marriage with Ray J … because she just filed for divorce after nearly 4 years of marriage. The “Love and Hip Hop: Hollywood” star filed divorce docs Tuesday in Los Angeles County Superior…

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Tom Brady’s Dad Says QB Has No Beef W/ Belichick, Pats Exit Wasn’t ‘Divorce’

Tom Brady has NO hard feelings toward Bill Belichick despite his New England departure … and calling their split this month a “divorce” wouldn’t be fair — so says the QB’s dad. “Divorce sounds a little bit harsh,” Tom Brady, Sr. says, “I think…

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Brooke Burke and David Charvet Finalize Divorce

Brooke Burke and David Charvet are free to move about Malibu as single people — they’ve finally hammered out their divorce and they’re both walking away with plenty of assets. Brooke filed to divorce the ex-‘Baywatch’ star way back in April 2018,…

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JWoww’s Ex Roger Mathews Dating Again After Divorce, New GF Revealed

JWoww’s ex-husband, Roger Mathews, is getting back on the horse — he’s dating again and it’s a pretty smooth ride, ’cause his new girl is smoking hot!!! Our sources tell us Roger’s new lady friend’s name is Danielle Miele … he’s been taking…

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Adele Attends Drake’s Birthday Party After Filing for Divorce

Adele isn’t wasting any time getting out on the town and living her ultimate single life … partying at Drake’s birthday party with a hot new look. The 31-year-old — who filed for divorce from her husband last month — was spotted in a black…

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Larry King Files for Divorce from Wife Shawn After 22-Year Marriage

A source who spoke with Shawn this afternoon says she was blindsided by the divorce … she found out by getting a call from TMZ.  As for Larry’s allegations, the source says the last time Larry was in the hospital, doctors said he might only…

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Here’s What Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth’s Families Think of Their Possible Divorce

Liam Hemsworth, Miley Cyrus, 2018 Elton John Oscar PartyMiley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth may be broken up, but as far as their families are concerned, this isn’t over till it’s over.
After all, it’s been ten years of break ups and…


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Geena Davis Concedes in Divorce Case She Lied to Oprah about Marriage

Geena Davis committed the unholiest of sins — she lied to Oprah — or at least she said so under oath in her nasty marriage/breakup lawsuit. We’ve been reporting on the lawsuit between Reza Jarrahy and Geena for awhile … he filed for divorce and…

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‘The Conners’ Star Michael Fishman’s Wife Files For Divorce

1:12 PM PT — Michael tells TMZ after filing, he and his wife took their daughter to lunch to show her they are still very much a family. He says, “We continue to work together to put our kids first.” Michael Fishman, famous for playing Roseanne Barr’s…

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Wendy Williams Looking For New Place to Live After Filing For Divorce

Wendy Williams is making some major changes in her life … she’s searching for a new place to live after filing for divorce from her husband. Sources close to the talk show host tell TMZ … Wendy is scouring Manhattan looking for a new place to call…

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Beck Files to Divorce Marissa Ribisi

Beck’s divorcing his actress wife, Marissa Ribisi, after nearly 15 years of marriage. The singer filed the divorce petition Friday in Los Angeles. He and Marissa got married in April 2004 and they have 2 kids together — a 14-year-old son named Cosimo,…

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The Divorce Party – Hughes William Thompson

Hughes William Thompson - The Divorce Party  artwork

The Divorce Party

Hughes William Thompson

Genre: Romance

Price: $ 12.99

Rental Price: $ 6.99

Release Date: February 8, 2019


The Divorce Party is a dramatic comedy that tells the story of Nate (Thomas Cocquerel) and Susan Brown (Claire Holt, “The Originals”), a married couple in their twenties. When Susan suddenly realizes she's miserable and wants a divorce, Nate packs his bags and heads for the nearest hotel. He soon discovers that he has been abandoned by his "friends" as he enters lonely single life. But when his former wedding planner, Katie (Matilda Lutz), offers to help Nate organize a glitzy "divorce party" to celebrate his new status, Nate starts to warm up to his new life, and finds that a new love may be waiting at the end of his ordeal.

© © 2018 Divorce Party Productions, LLC

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UFC Star Holly Holm Files for Divorce, Wants Maiden Name Back

UFC superstar Holly Holm has filed for divorce from her husband, TMZ Sports has learned.  Holm filed court docs in Albuquerque seeking to end her marriage to Jeff Kirkpatrick … her college sweetheart at the University of New Mexico.  The two…

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Jeff and MacKenzie Bezos Did NOT Have a Prenup so $137 Billion on the Line in Divorce

Jeff and MacKenzie Bezos did NOT have a prenuptial agreement so, by all rights, they will split their incredible fortune right down the middle … TMZ has learned. The couple will file divorce docs in Washington, where community property rules ……

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Jada Pinkett Smith Says That Divorce Is ‘Never An Option’ With Will Smith

Like most couples, Jada Pinkett Smith and her hubby Will Smith have had their fair share of ups and downs, but Jada never considered divorce as a viable option.


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Mel B Opens Up About Her Suicide Attempt, Drug Use and Divorce in Brutally Honest Memoir

Melanie Brown, Brutally HonestMel B shares very personal details about her life in her new memoir, Brutally Honest.
In the book, the 43-year-old Spice Girls star opens up about everything from her suicide attempt at…


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Chris Pratt & Anna Faris Reach Divorce Settlement: How They’re Putting Their Son Jack First

Chris Pratt and
Anna Faris are putting parenthood first.


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Jenna Dewan Files For Divorce From Channing Tatum 6 Months After Announcing Separation

Jenna Dewan has officially filed for divorce from ex Channing Tatum nearly seven months after the pair announced their separation.


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Stone Temple Pilots’ Dean DeLeo’s Divorce Case Gets Nastier

Dean DeLeo — guitarist for the rock band Stone Temple Pilots — is clapping back at his estranged wife who has accused him of being a violent alcoholic … saying she’s trying to smear him the way she did her ex. Dean filed new legal docs in his divorce…

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Slash Says He’ll Help Perla If She Agrees to Divorce Deal, She Says It Ain’t So Easy

4:41 PM PT — Perla’s attorney, Marty Singer, tells us unlike what Slash may think, ending the marriage won’t be that easy. Singer says, “Slash is well aware of the significant claims that have been made by Perla as to why the divorce documents cannot be…

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Angelina Jolie Making Divorce So Hostile Her Lawyer is Quitting

Angelina Jolie is fighting Brad Pitt so hard and nasty in their divorce and child custody dispute, her lawyer is quitting her … sources tell TMZ. Sources familiar with the matter say Angelina has been out for blood. As one source connected to Brad…

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Eli Roth Says His Divorce is Totally Amicable and His DMs are Blowing Up

[[tmz:video id=”0_obrm5yc8″]] Eli Roth says he’s going through the easiest, friendliest divorce of all time … and single life’s not treating him bad either. We got the famed director leaving Il Pastaio in Bev Hills Tuesday — just hours after news…

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Disso Queen Laura Wasser Says You Can Divorce Yourself with Her Website

[[tmz:video id=”0_nvrg8g3c”]] Laura Wasser knows better than anyone that getting divorced is a costly bitch … but, thankfully the disso queen’s got ya covered. We got Laura — one of the most prominent divorce lawyers in America — outside the…

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Stone Temple Pilots Guitarist Dean DeLeo’s Wife Files for Divorce, Alleges Abuse

Dean DeLeo — guitarist for the rock band, Stone Temple Pilots — is heading for divorce … and his wife claims he’s an abusive, drunken mess who makes her fear for the lives of her and their daughter. According to the legal docs … Jenn DeLeo filed…

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Kate Spade Depressed Before Suicide Because Husband Wanted a Divorce

Kate Spade was extremely depressed in her last days of life, because her husband wanted a divorce … law enforcement sources tell TMZ. We’ve learned Andy Spade was not living at the family home … he and Kate had separated and he was living in a nearby…

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Frances Bean Cobain Finalizes Divorce From Isaiah Silva, Loses Father’s Iconic Guitar

Frances Bean CobainUPDATE: Over two years after filing for divorce, Frances Bean Cobain has officially finalized her divorce her estranged husband Isaiah Silva, E! News can confirm.
While the divorce may…


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Kendra Wilkinson Says She Needs a “Little Kick in the Ass” After Hank Baskett Divorce

Kendra Wilkinson-BaskettKendra Wilkinson is taking things one day at a time.
Close to one month after filing for divorce from Hank Baskett, the former Girls Next Door star took to Instagram to update fans on how…


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Jenna Dewan Handles Ellen DeGeneres’ Divorce Flub Like A Total Pro

DeGeneres told the dancer she was “so sorry” for the mistake.
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Brooke Burke Wears Hot Leather Outfit at Coachella a Week After Divorce News

Brooke Burke’s leathering the storm of her pending divorce from David Charvet … by arriving at Coachella in an outfit that’s fit to make him eat his heart out. Brooke entered the festival grounds Friday afternoon in a sexy all-black and leather getup…

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Brooke Burke-Charvet Files For Divorce From Husband David Charvet After Nearly 7 Years Of Marriage

Brooke Burke-Charvet and her husband, former “Baywatch” actor David Charvet, are officially calling it quits. According to legal documents obtained by Access, the “Dancing with the Stars” alum submitted her divorce petition on Friday, a few months after the couple’s January separation.


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Ryan Reynolds Jokes About Divorce Rumors — Again — With Help From His Mom

“We’re never splitting.”
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Donald Trump Jr.’s Wife Vanessa Trump Files For Divorce After 12 Years Of Marriage

It’s over! Donald Trump Jr. and his wife Vanessa have split after 12 years of marriage. Vanessa reportedly filed papers in Manhattan on Thursday and is seeking an uncontested divorce. The former couple told Page Six in a joint statement that they “will always have tremendous respect for each other” and that their five children “remain our top priority.”


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Eric Dane Sports New Blonde Hairdo in Wake of Divorce Filing with Rebecca Gayheart

Eric Dane might be having a major blonde moment in the wake of him and his wife filing for divorce — that, or he’s just really feeling himself … we’re not sure.  The “Grey’s Anatomy” star was spotted rockin’ a brand new ‘do Tuesday in WeHo…

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Rebecca Gayheart Photographed for the First Time After Filing for Divorce From Eric Dane

Rebecca GayheartRebecca Gayheart was spotted out for the first time today after filing for her divorce from Eric Dane.
The 46-year-old actress was photographed arriving at a friend’s house in Los…


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Snooki’s Husband Jionni LaValle Sets the Record Straight on Divorce Rumors

Nicole Polizzi, Jionni LaValle, WeddingDon’t worry pop culture fans! This couple is staying Jersey Strong.
Despite a few tabloid headlines claiming Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi and Jionni LaValle’s marriage is on…


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The Ball family-UCLA divorce you knew was coming

The Ball family and UCLA weren’t built for the long haul. This was supposed to be a three-season relationship, a Lonzo-LiAngelo-LaMelo succession of one-and-done, with LaVar shouting the entire time. But now, it appears over. And it’s going to be messy.
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‘The Orville’ Star Scott Grimes’ Wife Files for Divorce

Actor Scott Grimes may get laughs on “The Orville,” but there’s nothing comedic about his wife’s new project — she’s filing for divorce … TMZ has learned.  Megan Grimes filed legal divorce docs Friday after 5 years and 10 months of…

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This Marital Behavior Is Not Only Annoying, It’s A Sign You Might Divorce

Experts say it’s one of four major red flags that a marriage won’t last.
Divorce

Need to File for a Divorce!

Audrina Patridge Dodging Divorce Drama at Mom and Dad’s House

Audrina Patridge is retreating to the comforts of home — not hers, but her parents’ — while her nasty divorce from Corey Bohan plays out. We got these pics of Audrina unloading a bunch of stuff at Mom and Dad’s crib in Orange County — and it…

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This Marital Behavior Is Not Only Annoying, It’s A Sign You Might Divorce

Experts say it’s one of four major red flags that a marriage won’t last.
Divorce

Need to File for a Divorce!

Jennifer Lawrence Was ‘Shocked’ & ‘Horrified’ By Luann De Lesseps’ Divorce

Jennifer Lawrence was on “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” and shared how she reacted when she found out “RHONY” star Luann de Lesseps was getting divorce!


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What We Can Learn From Brad And Angelina About Reconciling After A Divorce Filing

In what has become one of Hollywood’s most talked about divorces, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie-Pitt are again making headlines
Divorce

Need to File for a Divorce!

Mel B, Stephen Belafonte, First Face-off Since Divorce Filed

[[tmz:video id=”0_0sjk1est”]] Stephen Belafonte just walked into an L.A. courtroom and nervously trained his eyes on a woman who now claims he brutalized her and threatened to destroy her life — Mel B. It was a short, tense face-off as the estranged…

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What We Can Learn From Brad And Angelina About Reconciling After A Divorce Filing

In what has become one of Hollywood’s most talked about divorces, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie-Pitt are again making headlines
Divorce

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6 Prevalent Myths You’ll Hear About Divorce

As with most subjects, there are lots of people who are willing to give you a lot of advice when you announce you are going
Divorce

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Divorcing Your Old Self: How To Attract Joy Into Your Life After Divorce

If you feel as though you are in a downward spiral as a result of your divorce, you’re not alone. Whether you finalized your
Divorce

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Casey Affleck’s Wife Summer Phoenix Files For Divorce

Actor Casey Affleck’s wife has filed for divorce more than a year after the couple announced their separation.


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Nasty Gal Founder/#Girlboss Author’s Divorce Final

Nasty Gal founder Sophia Amoruso is officially single again, and it hardly cost her anything. We’ve learned a judge just granted her a divorce from Joel Jarek DeGraff. The couple was only married for a year, and they had an ironclad prenup before…

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‘Hot Convict’ Jeremy Meeks’ Wife Says She’s Filing For Divorce

Jeremy Meeks was photographed kissing and cuddling Topshop heiress Chloe Green last week.
Divorce

Need to File for a Divorce!

Ben Affleck Is Dating Lindsay Shookus: Everything We Know About His First Romance Since His Divorce From Jennifer Garner

Ben Affleck, Lindsay ShookusBen Affleck is finally moving on.
The 44-year-old Oscar-winning actor is dating Saturday Night Live producer Lindsay Shookus, E! News confirmed on Thursday. This is Affleck’s first…


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Ben Affleck Dating Saturday Night Live Producer Lindsay Shookus 3 Months After Jennifer Garner Divorce

Ben Affleck, Lindsay ShookusBen Affleck has a new lady in his life, E! News has learned.
The Oscar-winning actor is dating Lindsay Shookus, a producer at Saturday Night Live.
A source tells us that the two…


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Khloe Kardashian Talks Calling Off Divorce: It Doesn’t Mean I’m Back With Lamar Odom

Khloe
Kardashian and Lamar Odom filed a court petition dismissing a divorce filing,
but the reality TV star says that doesn’t mean they’re reconciling after the
former NBA star was found unconsciou…


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Blake Shelton on life after divorce from Miranda Lambert: ‘We’re buddies’

After four years of marriage and almost a decade as a couple, the country stars announced their split in July.


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Tech N9ne — Pulls Trigger on Divorce

Rapper Tech N9ne is bailing out on his marriage, but there’s no way his wife can say she didn’t see this coming — ’cause they’ve been split up for a DECADE now! The “Caribou Lou” rapper filed to divorce Lecoya LeJeune. They got married way back in 1995,…

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Master P’s Wife Demands Spousal Support During Divorce Proceedings

Sonya Miller says that Master P has cut off her cell phone and cable.


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Jared Fogle’s Wife Filing for Divorce

5:45 PM PST – According to court records … Katie has officially filed a petition for divorce. Jared Fogle is losing more than his freedom …. he’s losing his wife, because she’s filing for divorce.  Katie Fogle wasted no…

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Daryl Hall’s Wife Files for Divorce

She’s gone! Hall and Oates may have just celebrated the 35th anniversary of their album “Voices”, but Darryl Hall and his with Amanda Aspinall will not be celebrating their 7th marriage anniversary. The Rock and Roll Hall of Famer’s British socialite wife of 6 years has filed for divorce claiming the marriage was irretrievably broken. Reports say Daryl will allegedly not contest the claims as long as the prenup is observed. Cue the “She can’t go for that…no can do.”
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Daryl Hall — She’s Gone … Wife Files For Divorce

Daryl Hall did not make his wife’s dreams come true, because she’s filed for divorce. Amanda Jane Hall filed legal docs to end their 6-year marriage. The docs were filed back in May but just surfaced. They had a prenup. Hall, half of the legendary…

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Miranda Lambert Speaks Out About Divorce During Country Music Concert: I Deserve a Drink!

Miranda Lambert isn’t afraid to get a little personal onstage.

Friday evening was another big show for the country singer who helped make night two of WE Fest 2015 in Detroit Lakes,…


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Singers Gwen Stefani, Gavin Rossdale to divorce – reports

Aug 04 – Singer Gwen Stefani has filed for divorce from rockstar husband Gavin Rossdale after 13 years of marriage, according to several news reports. John Russell reports.


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Miranda Lambert — Divorce Left Me Thirsty … I Need A Drink

Miranda Lambert was on the hunt for drinking buddies Friday night in Minnesota  … telling her fans that booze is a good tonic for divorce. Miranda was performing at WE Fest, when she blurted out, “I wish I’ve been drinking all day.  I deserve…

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‘The hardest thing I’ve ever done’: Jake Owen announces divorce from wife

Jake Owen and his wife, Lacey Buchanan, are ending their marriage of three years, the country singer announced Friday via Twitter.


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Mariah Carey — Nick Cannon’s Dragging His Feet in Our Divorce (VIDEO)

Mariah Carey is nothing if not deliciously diabolical … we found out she had dinner with her divorce lawyers this week to come up with a plan to put the screws to Nick Cannon, who’s dragging his feet in their divorce, and…

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Gwen Stefani, Gavin Rossdale to divorce

After nearly 13 years of marriage, rockers Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale are splitting up.


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10 Miranda Lambert Songs That’ll Help Her Cope With Her Divorce

On Monday, Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton dealt a major blow to diehard fans with the announcement that they've divorced after four years of marriage. For nearly a decade, it seemed no one could dethrone them as the new reigning prom king and queen of country music; they'd ostensibly been crowned the Faith Hill and Tim McGraw of Nashville's next generation. But with the marriage now dissolved and Miranda reportedly having already packed her bags (and animals) at their Oklahoma ranch, we're already overwhelmed with heartache. To Miranda's advantage, though, she's got an entire career's worth of songs to refer to while she copes. (Never forget, she once wrote an entire album called Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.) We made a playlist of ten Miranda Lambert songs she might want to consider playing through each stage of her divorce.
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Timbaland’s Wife Monique Mosley Files For Divorce A Second Time

After being appointed as the executive producer of FOX show "Empire," Timbaland is worth a reported $ 85 million.


HipHopDX News

Affleck, Garner announce plans to divorce

A day after their tenth wedding anniversary, Hollywood couple Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner issue statement announcing plans to divorce. John Russell reports.


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‘90210’ Star Jamie Walters — How Do You Talk to An Angel … About Divorce?

Jamie Walters — who achieved fame in the 90s with the hit song “How Do You Talk to An Angel” now has to figure out how to talk to a divorce lawyer. Jamie’s wife Patricia has filed for divorce after 12 years of marriage. Jamie, who played Donna Martin’s…

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Trace Adkins — Divorce Case Settled

Trace Adkins has settled his divorce case, TMZ has learned … a case that will end a 17 year marriage. Trace’s lawyer, Larry Hayes, tells us, his client and Rhonda went into private mediation and hashed out a custody arrangement for their 3 daughters.…

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Chris Rock’s Estranged Wife Going Full Ms. Fufu In The Divorce

You already knew that the Chris Rock/Malaak Compton divorce wasn’t going down smooth and easy, especially after 19 years of marriage.

According to the New York Post, the legendary comedian’s $ 70 million has just been put on the endangered species list.

Reports Page Six:

Malaak Compton-Rock is demanding a huge hunk of her husband’s $ 70 million fortune so she can maintain a Champagne-and-caviar lifestyle, a copy of her divorce papers reveals.

The stay-at-home mom married the ex-“Saturday Night Live” star in 1996 after they met at the Essence Awards while she was working in public relations.

She soon gave up her career and became a full-time mother, court papers say.

Compton-Rock, 46, now spends much of her time caring for the couple’s kids — Lola Simone, 13, and Zahra Savannah, 11 — in their posh home in Alpine, NJ, where their neighbors include singer Mary J. Blige and Yankee pitcher CC Sabathia.

Both parties agree their prenup has expired under a sunset clause, meaning they could face a battle over the eight-figure family bank account, a filing in Bergen County court shows.
The papers also say she and Rock, 50, have already agreed to 50-50 child custody.

Compton-Rock spends her free time on the charity circuit. She runs a group called The Angel Rock Project and in 2008 appeared as a judge on the ABC reality show “Oprah’s Big Give,” where she clinked Champagne glasses with actress Vivica A. Fox and “Sopranos” star Lorraine Bracco.

The court filings say Compton-Rock deserves a payout “commensurate with the marital standard of living” because of all her child-rearing and charitable endeavors.

Divorce can be so…depressing.

Check out Never Scared: Chris Rock’s 15 Best Jokes About Love, Marriage, & Divorce for a quick pickup from this story.


Photo: WENN

The post Chris Rock’s Estranged Wife Going Full Ms. Fufu In The Divorce appeared first on Hip-Hop Wired.

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Love, Marriage‎ & Divorce – Toni Braxton & Babyface

Toni Braxton & Babyface - Love, Marriage‎ & Divorce  artwork

Love, Marriage‎ & Divorce

Toni Braxton & Babyface

Genre: R&B/Soul

Price: $ 7.99

Release Date: February 4, 2014

© ℗ 2014 Def Jam Recordings, a division of UMG Recordings, Inc.

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After all the almosts and what-ifs, Bulls-Thibs divorce just had to happen

After all the almosts and what-ifs, Bulls-Thibs divorce just had to happen
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Ed Asner — Come and Get It, Ladies!! Finally Files for Divorce

Ed Asner has filed for divorce, and the big question is … why? The 85-year-old actor — who became famous as Lou Grant on “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” –separated from wife Cindy Asner in 2007, but for some reason he didn’t pull the trigger until this…

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Why Rusty Yates Struggled with Whether to Divorce Andrea | Where Are They Now? | OWN

In 2001, Andrea Yates killed all five of her children while struggling with psychosis. Rusty, her husband at the time, waited years to file for divorce. Watch as he tells Oprah why divorcing Andrea was a hard decision. Plus, find out how he’s found joy with a new family.

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Dating After Divorce – Mistakes and Tips

Tips on dating after divorce, knowing if you’re ready, and how to start dating again after being with the same person for a long time. With a little help, it can prove much easier than you think.
Relationships:Dating Articles from EzineArticles.com

Brooklyn Woman Serves Husband Divorce Papers On Facebook

You can now serve divorce papers on Facebook. It may not be a trend (yet) but it worked for a Brooklyn woman after a judge ruled in her favor.

Ellanora Arthur Baidoo has been trying to track down her ex-hubby-to-be, Victor Sena Blood-Dzraku. She was obviously frustrated with his nonsense, so when Blood-Dzaku told her that he didn’t have an address or a job in which to send the paperwork, she got crafty.

Reports CNN:

After exhausting other ways of serving him the papers, Spinnell filed an application asking for “service by alternate means,” in this case, via social media.

In his decision, Justice Matthew Cooper said the “advent and ascendency of social media,” means sites like Facebook and Twitter are the “next frontier” as “forums through which a summons can be delivered.”

Before Cooper agreed to her using Facebook, Baidoo had to prove the Facebook account belongs to her husband, and that he consistently logs on to the account and would therefore see the summons.

Spinnell said Baidoo’s marriage to Blood-Dzraku began to unravel shortly after they married in 2009 because her husband refused to participate in a Ghanian wedding ceremony that would include both their families

The couple never lived together, according to court documents.

The down part of this story is Baidoo still can’t reach this guy. If she doesn’t respond to the papers soon she’ll be grants a “divorce by default.”

Social media is really taking over.


Photo: facebook

The post Brooklyn Woman Serves Husband Divorce Papers On Facebook appeared first on Hip-Hop Wired.

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What Your Girlfriends Won’t Tell You About Kids and Divorce

Ending a marriage when you have children can elicit feelings of guilt (“What could I have done differently to save the marriage?”) to panic (“How am I going to be able to support my kids financially and emotionally?”) to reluctance and doubt (“Maybe we should just move into separate bedrooms and ignore each other?”)

Lots of couples stay together for the kids. I can remember well-meaning acquaintances and even armchair Internet pundits advising, “Stay together till your children are done with college,” as if providing them with a dysfunctional model of a relationship might mitigate the future therapy bills. Kids are aware things aren’t the way they should be.

Stephanie Haen, Director of Behavioral Health at Fairfield County, Connecticut’s Family Centers says even infants can sense tension and anger. Constant yelling in the house may impact temperament, ability to attach to parents and others, and may be confusing for an infant.

The breakup of a couple is a loss for the children when all they know is the nuclear family. There’s a lot of fear about what that’s going to mean. “Am I going to have to side with one parent? Are my parents going to change in some way? Will they be able to provide for me like they have been? What are my peers going to think? How are other adults going to treat me?”

Haen says lots of parents think by not talking to their kids, they’ll shield them from the process, especially if the parents are angry. As with most situations, being open with a child in a developmentally appropriate manner is a healthier approach. Explain what is happening, assure kids that they didn’t cause this in any way. Let kids know what it will look like when one parent moves out of the house.

Reassure young children that they will be safe and will still spend time with each parent, depending upon the situation. Young kids emotionally buy into “magical thinking.” “If I hadn’t had a tantrum, they’d still be together.”

During adolescence, kids may experience anger about the situation, whether because they are reacting to frequent fighting between the parents or because they don’t want to admit their parents are splitting. They might not understand the situation that is throwing their world into a tizzy. “What will my friends think?” In general, the adolescent brain isn’t fully developed so preteens and teens tend to question what they’ve done to bring this on.

As parents, we want to go to protect kids, attempting to shelter them when all kids are going to skin knees, fail a test, or fight with a friend. “Kids will become stronger going through the process, learning that life throws obstacles,” shares Haen.

Divorce, advises Haen, can bring “a good educational moment to help kids understand intimacy in a relationship and what a family is, that parents can still be part of the family even if they are divorcing.” We also have the opportunity to work on how we communicate with each other, encouraging kids to be part of the discussion about loss without talking at them or using them as part of an agenda. We may be scared to hear how kids feel but we need to provide a safe place to share feelings in a way that encourages a healthy outlook. That doesn’t mean hiding sadness or anger, nor dwelling on these feelings so they interfere with the rest of our lives.”

Acknowledge your child’s feelings as well as your own.

Haen adds, “We all have feelings and sometimes those feelings get the best of us. One thing we remind parents is that you are role modeling for your child. That is your role, whether you want it to be or not. Try for the kids’ sake to not just scream and yell but also don’t ignore the elephant in the room. At some point, your child will be in a relationship. Move on from that and give your child what he or she needs to succeed.”
Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

10 Lessons I’ve Learned About Marriage From Divorce

Unfortunately, I know a thing or two about divorce. My parents divorced when I was in my twenties, and my first marriage ended in divorce after 13 years. Even my closest friends all have parents who are divorced.

So when my marriage ended, I thought that having a successful marriage wasn’t in the cards for me. But as luck would have it, I ended up meeting and marrying a man who is not just an amazing person, but a top-notch husband. My second marriage has been my version of Happily Ever After.

What I’ve learned from my experiences of divorce and remarriage, and from observing other couples, is that every couple has the ability to have a successful marriage. Marital success has nothing to do with education, economics or social status. In fact, if ever there was an even playing field, it is in this area.

Having a successful marriage is all about the choices we make every minute of every day. Marriages fail when spouses make poor choices as to how they are going to treat each other. It isn’t more complicated than that. So here are some of my insights about marriage (some learned the hard way) and how you can make good choices and have your own happily ever after…

Lesson #1: Remember that it isn’t your job to make your spouse happy. Your job is to help create an environment in which your spouse can be happy. That means get your act together and be a dependable partner. That means don’t create unnecessary stress or conflict in your marriage. That means genuinely love and encourage your spouse. After that, whether or not they are happy is up to them.

Lesson #2: It helps immensely if you and your spouse have a spiritual practice. Your choice of religion doesn’t really matter. Simply following any spiritual teaching that reinforces the importance of love, compassion and forgiveness, will inspire both of you to treat each other far better than you would otherwise.

Lesson #3: If you are married, that fact should be part of your public persona. Wear your wedding ring. Talk about your spouse in glowing terms to your colleagues and friends. Being married should be part of who you are.

Lesson #4: You can always find someone smarter, more attractive or more successful than your spouse. Remember: your spouse can do the same. “Affair proof” your marriage by telling your spouse regularly how highly you think of them. A daily dose of positive reinforcement goes a long way.

Lesson #5: Frequent physical intimacy is necessary for a happy marriage. Don’t make it complicated. You don’t need outfits, pornography, role playing, threesomes, spouse swapping, BDSM or anything else. You only need to give your spouse your undivided attention, caring and acceptance. It requires nothing more and nothing less.

Lesson #6: If your daily communications with your spouse are limited to the Costco list and your children’s soccer practice schedules, then you both are going to be looking elsewhere for a romantic charge. Flirt with your spouse, not your co-workers or the Starbucks barista.

Lesson #7: Dating does not end on your wedding day. When you go out with your spouse, act like it is your first date. Put on a great outfit, hold hands and make interesting conversation. Don’t save your best self for others. Give your best self to your spouse.

Lesson #8: If you are married, you have an obligation to take care of your appearance. You are the person who is most closely associated with your spouse, and you shouldn’t be an embarrassment to them. You don’t have to look like Kate Upton or Will Smith. You just have to look your best.

Lesson #9: There is no glory in remaining in a bad marriage. No one is going to give you a gold sticker or saint you. Worse yet, your kids ultimately may not thank you for it. So choose how and with whom you spend your time on this earth wisely.

Lesson #10: People stay in marriages for many reasons. For their children. For money. For convenience. For ambition, political or otherwise. But you will find no greater joy than being married solely for love.

Over the years, I’ve learned that marriage is not for the faint of heart. It requires a level of maturity and selflessness that most people don’t possess when they first say, “I do.” However, if you are patient and work hard at it, the rewards of a happy marriage are immeasurable.
Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

What Your Girlfriends Won’t Tell You About Sweatpants: # 1 Cause of Divorce?

Eva Mendes, celeb-tress/spokesmodel partner of heartthrob Ryan Gosling made Twitter’s trending feed by commenting during an interview on Extra that sweatpants were the #1 cause of divorce, a statement her plus one attempted to clear up via social media.

Online media feeds off sound bites. My first reaction to Ms. Mendes was that she’s onto something. As the other of a newborn, she likely gets the challenge in maintaining sex appeal when you’re exhausted and covered with infant spittle.

No, sweatpants don’t cause divorce any more than yoga pants cause infidelity.

But the elastic waistband (replace with stained t-shirts, baggy panties, take your pick) is a definite passion killer.

The insouciant or even careless approach to appearance is like the comfort food of long term relationships, the sartorial equivalent to leaving the bathroom door open when you are “otherwise engaged.”

Men and women would like to believe the safety zone is built upon a love so strong no man can put asunder but maintaining passion is important to a relationship. Letting yourself go isn’t especially respectful to a partner. It’s like bait and switch.

Pregnancy, childbirth, and late night feedings don’t exactly call out “sex kitten” and more than a few men have turned the switch to think of a wife as a mom and no longer that playmate in a negligee. Keeping those fires stoked takes work on both sides. (So men, lose the ratty college sweatshirt and straight leg jeans!)

How we dress does impact how we feel about ourselves. Loose sweats and a stained tee shirt call out an evening on the couch with Netflix and a pint of Ben & Jerry’s much more than an evening of romance and passion. It’s pretty hard to get in the mood when you or your mate are dressed like slobs.

Well, unless your partner is Ryan Gosling!
Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

Sweatpants Cause Divorce?!

Last night, I was greeted by Eva Mendes telling “Extra” that sweatpants being “the number one cause of divorce in America

Seriously, Eva? SERIOUSLY?!

Please, for the love of muffins, tell me you aren’t serious about this. That you even uttered it out loud makes me wonder about how different your version of reality is from the rest of us non-Hollywood people.

I mean, I get that you’re living a very different life than the average person, and that probably is even more glaringly different when it comes to such things as postpartum recovery and life with a baby.

Here’s the thing, Eva, from one “average” lifestyle Mom’s perspective:

Sweatpants? Let me tell you, the first few months after my babies were born? I’m not even sure I was wearing pants. Like, at all. The haze of sleep deprivations, hormones and my body leaking in ways nobody ever really warns you about, the last freaking thing I was worried about was clothes. Or makeup. Or working out. Or anything beyond survival… my baby’s and mine. And there were times where I seriously wondered, in my Dear-God-Let-Me-Sleep-For-Four-Consecutive-Hours addled brain, where I wondered if a person could actually die from sleep deprivation. If my brain would simply rupture, leak out my ears, and I’d be found in a puddle of brain matter, breast milk or formula. Frankly, ensuring I was fit for being out in public without being arrested was my husband’s responsibility. Cause I totally would’ve wandered out, baby puke not just on a shoulder, but possibly on my front, back, both shoulders, dribbling down a leg and maybe even between my toes.

I could totally have left the house without pants.

(Did I mention I don’t do sleep deprivation well? At all?)

Thanks, Eva, for putting more pressure on women, especially postpartum women. Cause it’s not enough that a woman has just pushed another human being out of her body, or had major abdominal surgery. Noooo! Let’s talk about them dressing nicely, working out and makeup. Oh, can’t forget the MAKEUP. A lot of postpartum women struggle with the changes in their bodies. Stretch marks, things swollen that they ever wonder if it will return to normal, breasts that are not only leaky, but considerably larger than they were before, a lot of us are shedding hair by the fistful, and wondering if they’ve managed a decent shower in the last week or two. For some of us “lucky” women, simply sitting comfortably seems like a distant dream.

Eva, us regular folk? We don’t have staff. We’re bouncing from one thing to another like sleep-deprived, insane pinballs. If baby is sleeping, we might be able to get a nap, or be doing laundry, grocery shopping, paying bills, cooking… there’s never a shortage of things that needs to be done when it comes to the average household, especially when there’s a new baby in the house.

Frankly, North American culture sucks when it comes to taking care of postpartum women. Birth has become something of a spectator sport, with family members asking, expecting and in some cases, even demanding a front row seat of the crowning baby. Then demands to visit, to feed and host family and friends. The idea of taking care of the new mother is something that has fallen off the radar for many people.

Someone who has just given birth deserves some care. Some rest. Without worrying about anyone’s expectations, wants or demands. Without anyone telling her that she should be doing something different or, God forbid, more.

So, thanks Eva. Thanks for making new moms even less appreciated, for giving them some more ridiculous standards to meet, some more guilt for them to carry, some more ideals that the average person can’t possibly hope to meet.

Awesome.

And then blame women for the divorce rates. Seriously? Women wearing sweatpants are cause of divorce? My husband, Wolf, wears sweatpants. Should I divorce him for it?

Oh, that’s right… you said WOMEN weren’t to wear them. Men weren’t mentioned.

Good freaking grief.

And, for the record, I don’t have a vested point of view when it comes to wearing sweatpants. Wear them, don’t wear them, but to put the responsibility on dressing to meet a standard on a new mother, to put the responsibility on survival of a marriage on how a woman dresses, is insulting to both men and women.
Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

How to Help Children Ages 6-12 Through Your Divorce

School-age children ages 6 through 12 can be highly impacted by divorce. Children of this age group are trying to integrate their parents’ separation. This can be only done in relation to their own stage of development. It is most important at this time that you do not speak negatively about your ex-spouse. That can only serve to confront your child’s own sense of self and identity. The better you and your ex can get along after divorce, the easier it is for your children to adjust.

You can help minimize the negative effects of divorce on children in this age group by working together, as a team, on the following:

  1. Ensure a stable and consistent visitation schedule. This gives your child a structure that can create security.
  2. Do not create conflict during visitation exchanges.
  3. Do not burden your children with your own emotional problems. If necessary, see a counselor, but don’t stress your child.
  4. Maintain communication with teachers and school personnel. Partner with your child’s school counselor and teachers by letting them know what is happening. This way, they can help keep an eye out for, and alert you to, unusual behavior, such as missing schoolwork, not paying attention in class or aggressive behavior.
  5. Know your child’s history. If your child has problems with stress, it will be more difficult for him to adapt to separation. This child needs good parenting from both parents, which includes safety, love, nurturing, meeting needs and understanding.
  6. Age-appropriate communication is paramount. Be open with your child and answer his questions with as much gentle honesty as you can. However, don’t put your child in a loyalty double-bind, and don’t question him about your ex.
  7. Allow your children to have a voice in the day-to-day decisions. This can include helping to decide on the new sleeping arrangements, home décor such as sheets, blankets, pillows and bedspreads and where to go on Spring Break. This also means allowing your children to have a voice in creating new family traditions. When parents divorce, children often feel out of control because they didn’t have a say or any options in the decision to divorce. These small experiences of choice help your children feel invested in their new family.
  8. Finally, use my Empathic Process. The Empathic Process is an approach I developed for parents and children to communicate in a safe and open space. It teaches children how to talk to their parents about their feelings, while parents actively listen without defense. Then parents get a chance to speak. Ultimately, parents and children speak together solving their problem, by investing each participant in the solution. This undefended experience creates a safe space in which parent and child can return when needed.

Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

The Biggest Mistake People Make When Dating After Divorce

2015-03-19-1426784465-957118-redflag.pngWhen I began dating again after my divorce, I got the reputation for being the “one date wonder.” I had several friends who told me I was too picky or that my standards were too high. Several women friends mentioned that everyone has issues and you just have to learn to live with them. And you know what I say to that? Bull.

I am not saying that we all don’t have issues. We do. We, as divorced people, have been through an experience that has had some impact on the way we view dating and relationships. What I am saying, is that you do not have to suffer a terrible relationship because you believe there is nothing better. Having some issues or after-effects from a divorce is one thing. Being dysfunctional, mean or immoral is something else. And you know what? Being alone is better than accepting any of that.

Many of my friends who thought my goals were too lofty routinely spent years in relationships that made them unhappy. One friend’s boyfriend called her child a “little shit” to his face. One friend’s boyfriend berated her son for bringing him the wrong drink. They stayed with them for years after giving the excuse: “He was just frustrated.” “It was just a bad day.” For me, there is no excuse for this behavior. These are Big Red Flags that should become deal breakers…after one time. One friend had a boyfriend who never showed affection. One friend told me he knew his girlfriend was bad for him, but he just couldn’t quit going back for fear of loneliness. And that, I think, is the crux of excusing the Big Red Flag behaviors – loneliness. And that is the biggest mistake people make after divorce – holding on is better than being alone.

I don’t think anyone, for the most part, wants to be alone. But it should not be something to fear. How terrible would it be to have fear driving your life rather than desire? Fear of being alone, fear that there are no good ones left, fear of being judged for being alone? For me, this lesson, letting go of fear, came directly from my divorce. I never in my life wanted to go through something like that again (who does, right?). I know that you can’t control the outcome of everything in life, but I was going to make sure that I made the best decisions I possibly could. I went through the normal grief, defeat and insecurity of divorce, but on the other side of healing came empowerment. It is kind of fun to feel like you are in control. You decide what you want and how to get it. You decide what you are willing to accept and what you are not. You are empowered with the ability to decide not to settle for anything less than what you deserve.

If you accept the mantra I used when I was dating, that being alone for the rest of my life is better than being with the wrong person (and this mantra evolved over the course of my healing from my divorce), then you eliminate the temptation to accept less than what you want. Being alone is okay. It is not always fun. It is not always easy. But accepting the possibility that being alone can still mean being happy, takes the pressure off of having to meet someone or stay with someone you know is not for you. If you do not feel that you can be alone and be happy, then really, you are not ready to date. You are still in a position where you are relying on someone else to make you happy, and we all know that only you can make you happy.

Once you reach the point of accepting that you would rather be alone for the rest of your life than be with the wrong person, my other mantra comes into play – your deal breakers must actually break your deal. This is a biggy. For this to work, you must identify your deal breakers. Some behaviors are acceptable or up for negotiation, but some are unacceptable. When you see something that you know is a deal breaker, then break the deal. Anything else is unfair to you and to your significant other.

Do not be afraid to have standards. Do not be afraid to be alone. Once you are released from that fear, you are liberated. You are happy no matter your relationships status, so repeat after me:

I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than be with the wrong person.

This post originally appeared on sweetenthedeal.com.

Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

Life After Divorce: One Year Later

2015-03-19-1426728383-7098118-singlewoman.jpg

Image courtesy of JPott at Flickr.com

My divorce was final last March. If you had asked me then what my life would look like, I would have stared at you blankly (with a hint of drool.) I didn’t have a clue. I only had hope — hope that life would get easier and much better. I was emotionally drained, facing what appeared to be a lonely, unending, uphill climb with no clear destination defined.

If you are in this place, then read on.

I share my year of adaptation, struggle, triumph, grief and joy — yes joy — to imbue you with hope as you ponder the abyss following the end of your relationship. A lot can happen in one year, and some of it is really good.

To set the foundation, last March I was:

  • Not ready to date.
  • Panicked about finances.
  • Ticked off that my poor judgment in choosing a partner left me alone in my mid-forties while all my friends were happily coupled.
  • Wanting proof that something good lay ahead.
  • Worried that perhaps the best was behind me.
  • Trying to figure out what the bleep just happened.

One year later, I am:

  • Dating a wonderful, communicative man.
  • Confident and laughing again (a lot).
  • Still concerned about finances, but hopeful.
  • Engaged in meaningful work with two new (and fun) partners.
  • Grieving as I watch my dad slowly lose his battle to lung cancer.
  • Resolved to never again settle for less than my worth.
  • OK with the past.
  • A published co-author (Turn North at Divorce.)

I am by no means at my final destination, but I am in a good place. So how did I get here and how might you get to a good place one year from now? Here are some key stepping stones.

Partner With Grief

Grief is an essential part of transition. Depending on many factors, this grief can last a longer or a shorter time and it can be re-triggered without warning. It’s OK. Everyone goes through it; you are not a freak. You would only be a freak if you could glide through your divorce and feel nothing.

The key is to allow yourself to move through and not around the grief that accompanies the loss of a significant relationship.

Moving through grief looks like surrendering to it — even partnering with it — until it has been processed. This feels uncomfortable because there is no timetable for feeling better. However, if you can resist filling the emotional hole and just breathe into it, accepting its presence, you will gradually heal.

And be intentional about hanging onto hope. At my lowest, I still maintained an unfounded belief that light would shine upon my life again. People are programmed for survival.

Lighten the Load

Shedding baggage is the next step in moving closer to joy post-divorce. Let go of the anger, the how-dare-yous and how-could-yous. Some call this forgiveness. I call it lightening the load. If you travel light, you will notice that you will attract like-minded travelers.

It can be hard to get to this place. If you were betrayed, it is going to be super hard, but acknowledge that until you do, you won’t have the space for new joy to enter your life. Anger, like love, is a powerful connector and this is why there are many people whose divorces are final, but their emotional attachment remains intact.

Letting go requires that you give yourself the closure you need instead of seeking it from your ex. You are never going to the apology you feel you deserve or the explanation that will make the implosion of your marriage “make sense.”

Parent Yourself

Learning to love yourself — the way a really kind, parent would — will not only help you move through your grief, but is essential to moving forward. I had to learn this. When you can parent yourself and provide the empathy and love you need, you will be able to remain open to new people and experiences knowing you are safe.

In my own case, this parent didn’t pass judgment for the days I slept past the alarm or when I had an extra glass of wine. Instead, this parent consistently whispered in my ear, You are enough and was there to console me when I wondered if life would ever turn around.

Rock Awkward

There is no way around it, awkward moments abound when newly single. They range from the comical fallout from fumbling new tasks that you never had to do when partnered, to continually responding, “Just me” to the hostess’ query about the number of diners.

Some of my most awkward moments included having my first date since Y2K, attending dinner parties as the sole single person, telling the neighbors we were divorced and assembling an electric edger upside down.

Laughing about these things instead of internalizing a sense of shame will not only foster healthy resilience, but will make you attractive to others as you own your humanity.

Embrace Vulnerability

More than any other thing, the key to personal transformation is the willingness to remain open — open to new people and open to life. In other words, the decision to embrace vulnerability. For me this was, and at times, still is the hardest challenge. To avoid another crushing disappointment, it is so easy to close your heart.

The cost of hardening your heart is safety. Safety may sound alluring (especially following the bruising divorce process) but it is a trap wherein you fail to live, feel and be vibrant. Vulnerability is the courage and willingness it takes to be human — to expose yourself — to be afraid and brave in each moment. It is only when you open yourself that you can give and receive.

I am living this and it’s not easy, but when I look at the good things that have entered my life over these past 365 days, I know it is the way to go.

If you are at least one year out from your divorce, what did you learn that helped you adapt to your new singledom?
Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

Robin Thicke, Paula Patton … Divorce is a Done Deal

Robin Thicke and Paula Patton have settled their divorce case … TMZ has learned. Paula filed legal docs Tuesday declaring they have reached a property settlement as well as a custody arrangement for their 4-year-old son Julian.  The terms of the…

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TMZ Celebrity News for Celebrity Justice


Don’t Get Into A Relationship To Avoid Being Alone – Relationship and Divorce Advice

You need to look after yourself after a major break up / divorce and jumping into a new relationship to avoid being alone is often a big mistake that I see my clients make. Read tips below to handle loneliness and actions to create more happiness in your life.
Relationships:Dating Articles from EzineArticles.com

Signs You’re In An Unhappy Marriage – Signs You Should Get A Divorce

Making the decision to leave a loveless marriage is scary: There’s often a deep fear of being alone, not to mention the possibility of an unknown future. So many stick with mediocrity, settling for low-level pain and dissatisfaction instead. But it’s not your best bet:
Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

‘I Miss My Daddy. Divorce Stinks.’ – NYTimes.com

It has been almost a year since my ex-husband and I separated. And today, we walked into a mediator’s office and got a majority of a divorce agreement drafted. Before you ask how we did that so fast, let me share that we have no property to fight over and no money. We had also already worked out our own custody schedule together, and know we have plenty of time to work out the kinks, at least before our daughter starts elementary school. All we needed to do was deal with the fine print. As sad as it was to have it almost over, I know it’s for the best and so does my ex.
Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

‘I Miss My Daddy. Divorce Stinks.’ – NYTimes.com

It has been almost a year since my ex-husband and I separated. And today, we walked into a mediator’s office and got a majority of a divorce agreement drafted. Before you ask how we did that so fast, let me share that we have no property to fight over and no money. We had also already worked out our own custody schedule together, and know we have plenty of time to work out the kinks, at least before our daughter starts elementary school. All we needed to do was deal with the fine print. As sad as it was to have it almost over, I know it’s for the best and so does my ex.
Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

How My Divorce Helped Me Get Through My Mother’s Death

I went home to Portland, Oregon to celebrate New Year’s in the waning days of December 2011. In the few months since my previous visit, I had decided to end my marriage to my husband of three years — and closest friend for nearly seven. He’d be moving out of our Brooklyn apartment while I was away. I was 29.

Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

Hilary Duff — Hot Bikini Selfie … Divorce Does a Body Good

Here’s Hilary Duff … showing off what Mike Comrie will be missing out on now that she’s decided to pull the plug on her marriage to the former hockey star.  Duff posted the pic to her Instagram account … with the caption, “Hey #moms…

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Why My Divorce Helped My Dreams Come True

I have learned a lot in my 43 years — more than I really thought I needed to learn. I learned that people are not always who they seem. I learned that people who are supposed to love you can hurt you the most. I learned that when you try to do all of the right things, things still go wrong. I learned that when everything goes wrong at once, you just have to hold on for dear life. I learned that perspective is a beautiful thing. I learned to trust myself. I learned that doing the right thing may not get you what you want, but you will be able to look in the mirror. I learned that I, and only I, am responsible for my happiness. And most of all I have learned who I am and what I am capable of doing.

Many of these lessons came from my divorce and the ensuing hell that followed. I will not go into specifics for the sake of my children, however, I was with the wrong person. I was with someone who was not who he had claimed to be for the entirety of our marriage. After 10 years, the mask came off. About the same time, my youngest son began having seizures. On the hour, every hour for two weeks and then once a month for a year.

That exact period of time during the divorce and the seizures was the single most difficult time I had ever experienced. Life felt like everything was falling apart at once. Looking back, the seizures couldn’t have been predicted, but the years that led up to this moment telegraphed the end of my marriage. I was with someone who tore me down rather than built me up. I was with someone who minimized my goals and dreams while he went to law school and followed his. I was with someone who wore me out needing validation while offering the opposite of that to me.

Finally, I was with someone who was ambivalent about my writing. The response was always, “Eh, it’s okay.” I was told that I couldn’t write a book or make a living writing at all. I was discouraged from following my path. It was generally a subtle blow off, a disregard for what I thought and felt, but over time it seeped in and infiltrated my life.

The fact that I listened to this discouragement is my responsibility, but I think a lot of people, when told over and over how inadequate they are, begin to internalize some of this thinking. It’s almost funny to me because I am generally not someone to suffer a crisis of confidence, but life was busy. We had three kids in four years. He was in law school and studying for the bar exam. I just put my priorities aside and when I received negative feedback, it was easier to keep them aside.

Believe it or not, the thing that woke me up in my life was my son’s seizures. As I said, perspective is a beautiful thing. And with his condition, came an immediate shift from the difficulty of my divorce to getting this 2-year-old child well. And after that, being able to take care of my children. And after that, regaining my confidence and happiness.

The evolution for me occurred over the next eight years. My kids and I had to move in with my parents for a while until my son’s seizures were controlled (he is now, 10 years later, seizure-free and has been released from his neurologist.) I got a job. I healed. It was no easy task. When things settled down I realized that my own path had gotten derailed. With my divorce came freedom to rediscover my dreams and reevaluate what a good relationship should be. I worked on becoming a whole person by myself so that my path would be strong with or without a partner.

When I began online dating, I had one crazy date after the other — married guys, criminal guys, toothless guys — who knew this was in store for me! I learned how to date (especially having kids to think of), what I wanted and how to get it.

My friends began telling me I needed to write these dates down. So, I began a blog. It was originally called You Can’t Make This Shit Up. I chronicled all of my funny and horrifying dates for everyone to read, and began writing again. After about five years, the online quest finally met its demise when I met my now husband. My husband is supportive, caring and encouraging. He met me when I had learned that I could be happy on my own, when I knew what I wanted and when I was ready to go after it.

With his support and encouragement, I turned my blog into a book. I added in all of the dating lessons I learned during some hard and crazy times. I began working as a freelance writer while working to promote my book. I am helping to support my family as a writer, and I am happy and whole. The book will be released on April 1, 2015 and is now called Sweeten the Deal: How to Spot and Avoid the Big Red Flags in Online Dating. My first book signing is scheduled, my family will be there. I am excited and ready for the next adventure! Onward!

Please visit my website to find out more: sweetenthedeal.com
Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

Handling Your Divorce Like an Air-Traffic Controller

The stresses placed on divorcing couples, who are making decisions about custody, spousal support, equitable distribution and parenting plans are not unlike those of air-traffic controllers, who are trying to safely land multiple jumbo jets coming in on multiple runways. Perhaps these aren’t life or death decisions, but that depends entirely on your perspective!

I can’t take credit for this brilliant and so-directly-on-point analogy, but am borrowing it for the sake of this conversation. I hope it’s useful to anyone going through the divorce process today, or for those stuck in the seemingly never-ending post-divorce arguments that annoy, irritate and frustrate us.

We embark on the divorce journey for many reasons. For some, it’s a joint decision made, when it’s clear that the marriage isn’t working. For others, it was one spouse taking the initiative to raise the flag and take those first steps. Some go voluntarily into the process, and some go kicking and screaming, maintaining their status as “victim” in their broken fairytale. Regardless of how the travel plans were made, you are nevertheless taking this trip, and are forced to make many inter-related decisions that will ultimately affect your life and the lives of your kids. And you’re forced to do this while stressed, emotional and exhausted.

Landing The Planes Peacefully, Without Causing a Collision

Going back to our air-traffic controller analogy, it’s time to look at the full picture, but take one thing at time. To decrease the risk of mid-air collisions, follow the PEACE acronym: Parenting Plan, Equitable Distribution, Alimony, Child Support and Everything Else! This model allows for singular focus on a particular topic until agreement is reached, before moving to the next topic. Land the plane carrying the Parenting Plan first, and park it safely at the gate. Next, coax in the jumbo jet carrying discussions of equitable distribution and divvying up your marital estate. Alimony and Child Support discussions, which are often more formulary-driven and based on actual financial calculations, are like small aircrafts, circling the skies until ready for that final approach.

But before you drop the wheels and prepare for that final approach, check all of the instruments. Use them as your guide, but try to also use your own senses to visualize the runway. Think about the Parenting Plan as a living, breathing document that will continue to flex and grow as your children get older and their needs change. Okay, so maybe hundreds of lives aren’t at stake if you don’t get your parenting plan done right, but the impact on your children’s’ lives is significant if you fail to recognize that it’s about much more than timesharing/calendaring.

Now the landing strip is within your visual range, and you can see the control tower when you peek just slightly under the clouds! This is the final stretch of your journey, as you approach the courthouse steps and respectfully ask the Judge to grant your request and issue a Final Divorce Decree. As the wheels touch down, you can feel that sense of relief as you taxi towards the gate. Once parked, you can hear the bell ring as the flight attendant announces that you’ve reached your destination. After grabbing your luggage and pushing your way down the aisle, you de-board the aircraft and begin your final journey. “Granted,” you hear the judge say, and you know that you’ve finally made it.
Divorce – The Huffington Post

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My Misadventures After Divorce

I believe divorce is an opportunity for a new life. I divorced at age 39 and decided I needed some fresh experiences. I was open to taking risks. However, this resulted in some mistakes. Here are a few of my misadventures.

Mimicking Reality Shows
I am addicted to reality TV shows. Bravo TV’s The Real Housewives of Whatever and The Millionaire Matchmaker. Lifetime’s Girlfriend Intervention. I decided they had great ideas and proceeded to copy them. So, I got my first Brazilian waxing and took a twerking class on the same day. Ouch. Picture a skinny, middle-aged woman trying to twerk immediately after being waxed. It was a recipe for crotch fire while looking pathetically absurd. I quickly discovered that I am not Beyoncé. Yet, I honestly enjoyed trying both.

However, when I bragged to my friends about these courageous experiences, embarrassment resulted. For example, I recommended my wonderful esthetician to some twenty-something women and boasted about enduring the pain, which led to a TMI moment and uncomfortable silence. Oops. And when I talked with Baby Boomers about twerking, they would immediately watch Youtube videos and ask me to demonstrate it. These conversations would end with me explaining that my butt could not jiggle in different directions and they were always disappointed. Conclusion: Baby Boomers are strangely curious about twerking.

Never Suggest the Movie The Devil in Miss Jones
I discovered that all classic movies are not appropriate for new relationships. There was a movie called The Devil in Miss Jones. I read about it online. This classic was created in the 1970s and has a fascinating plot about a righteous woman who commits suicide and ends up in limbo. While in limbo, an angel gives her the option of limbo or Hell. She chooses to enter Hell by accepting the sin of lust. Intriguing, right? I was curious and wanted to watch it. [To my mother, please do not select this for the family movie night! It’s a porn!]

My next step was to find someone who would enjoy watching this movie with me. So, I naively selected a date from an online dating service. I had chosen the criteria that I wanted in a man. It was like shopping on Amazon! Poof! The dating site identified the man of my dreams within minutes. I had a date. Wow! Who knew it was this easy?! This was so much better than dating in the 1990s!

That is, until I realized we had very different definitions of “independent films” and “spiritual”. During our first dates, I said I enjoyed watching independent films. He did, too! He said he was spiritual, but not religious. Me, too! We had so much in common. But I was wrong.

Very embarrassingly wrong.

This awkward moment happened when I suggested watching The Devil in Miss Jones. We were planning our next date. How about a movie? Okay! Hm. I said, “how about this independent film about a woman struggling with the sin of lust?” And then I told him to google, The Devil in Miss Jones. There was an awkward pause and then he assumed I was joking. Instead, he proposed a Christian movie, like Kirk Cameron’s Fireproof. Huh? Apparently, my definition of “spiritual” meant agnostic, bordering on being an atheist and crude. His definition meant attending church every other Sunday. It was awkward. Really awkward.

[And no, I still have not watched this movie, but maybe I will when I am alone this weekend…]

Not Living my New Life
Sometimes I get stuck in my old life. I found myself sitting on my couch, depressed and crying about the life I left behind. I was an ugly mess with mascara running down my face. I had just talked with my ex about our old dog. She was like a child to us and he got her in the property settlement. I missed her. I so really missed her.

I had planned a Girls’ Night Out that evening. But I was too busy throwing myself a pity party that afternoon. As I wept, I texted my girlfriend if I should bail on our friends.

Me: I am depressed. Should I cancel tonight? I won’t be much fun.
Awesome Friend: No. You need to start living your new life. Go turn on music. Start moving. Come out!

I sat there for a moment. Actually, I sat there for a very long time. Utterly sad. I re-read her text several times: Start living your new life. I repeated that over and over.

Begrudgingly, I obeyed. I turned on my favorite music. Then, I wiggled my toes. Then, I wiggled my fingers. It was literally that painfully slow. The music eventually inspired me to stand up and it filled me with a new energy. Somehow, I danced a little. Two hours later, I was at Girls’ Night Out and living my new life.

What I am Doing Right
I am going to make some embarrassing mistakes over the next year, but I have wonderful friends to steer me back on course. They laugh at my misadventures and tell me when I am being a dumbass. As payment for their support, I entertain them with the tall tales of my new life. It is humbling at times, but hella fun.
Comedy – The Huffington Post
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The Red Years: Redefining Life After Divorce

Red is my favorite color. It has been for as long as I can remember. But like many aspects of myself, red was lost somewhere in the depths of a strained marriage.

In my marital house, I was surrounded by neutral colors. Everything was brown. Brown furniture. Brown bedding. Brown walls. Even the few colors splashed within the rooms that were meant to pop – the royal blue dining room, the sage green kitchen — seemed muted to me.

It was only natural that when my marriage ended and I moved out, the red would return. In so many ways, I didn’t want to be muted anymore. So I went on a red rampage. Red sheets. Red towels. Red dishes. It didn’t take long before I was surrounded in my new apartment by a color that reminded me to feel strong and confident and audacious.

That was the beginning of what I called the Red Years.

The Red Years were an era of struggle and uncertainty. It was a period when I had to live hour by hour because day to day was too much. But it was also a time of discovery. I had a blank slate, a chance to start over and redefine myself, a rare opportunity to figure out who I was without the influence of a significant other.

Redefinition after a breakup goes beyond a change in perspective toward yourself. It requires redefining values to external triggers. And sometimes trying to remove significance from everyday items like a mug or a necklace or a canvas on the wall is harder than the introspection process.

When someone is a main character in your life, he’s a part of virtually everything you do, say, eat, hear, own, focus on, think about. You can find that person in every nook and cranny. So what are you supposed to do when that main character disappears?

I spent a large portion of the Red Years trying to figure that out, trying to follow the advice of my therapist who taught me how to assign new meanings to old triggers. Like celebrating my child’s birthday at a particular restaurant so my memory of it revolves around my children and their giggles rather than the times I went there with that person. Or wearing a particular shirt on a girls’ night out so I associate it with loyal friendship rather than a longing for date nights past.

I can’t stop listening to music I enjoy or stop wearing my favorite color nail polish because they trigger memories of a person or a moment or a place where and when the love I no longer have was full. I can’t stop ordering a certain kind of pizza or sitting in one of my chairs or doing a thousand other mundane things because they evoke visions of a special version of happiness, visions of a life past or a life that could have been. If I did that, I’d have to move and replace just about everything I own, give up hobbies, scrub my vocabulary, abandon mutual friends, get off all social media. These aren’t realistic options.

During The Red Years, I altered what I could. I replaced pictures in frames. I boxed up items I wasn’t ready to part with yet and hid them in the back of my closet. I created new Spotify playlists. I threw out my favorite red nail polish and bought a new bottle in a different shade. And I let time work its healing magic.

At the end of it all, I reached a level of contentment. I am content being single. I am content with my place in this world. I am content with my life. I no longer feel like I’m lost in the unknown and waiting for answers because I’m content accepting that I’ll never get all the answers I want. And I’m content with the knowledge that every single person who stumbles into my life does so for a reason, and if they’re meant to return in any way, shape or form after they’ve disappeared, then they’ll catch up and help me redefine who they ultimately are to me.

The Red Years are over.

This doesn’t mean I’m getting rid of my red dish towels or my red throw pillows or my dog’s red collar. Red is still my favorite color. But now I’m redefining red to signify the end of an era of struggle and uncertainty. Red is no longer a reminder that I need to be strong and confident and audacious. It’s a reminder that I already am.

And it’s time for the next chapter.
Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

10 Unusual Things That Devastated Me About My Divorce

Just the thought of divorce, with all of its paperwork, custody battles and heartache, is enough to make most of us feel like we can never get through it. In the early days of my separation from my husband, I felt as if I was underwater, slowly sinking to the bottom. My lungs were full of the cold, salty sea and my arms and legs were anchors, eager to land in the seabed and stay there forever. I couldn’t see, hear or feel anything past all of that weight and pressure bearing down on me from every angle.

In retrospect, I was also probably watching way too many nature documentaries.

The point is, I felt like I wasn’t going to ever see the light. I don’t like to say that I was depressed, because that’s a serious word and shouldn’t be taken lightly, but I was definitely pretty deep in the ocean of despair.

I’ll stop that right now.

Slowly, I made my way out, just like everybody said I would. But each day brought a new challenge, a new hurt that I had to work out before letting it consume me. I think with divorce, most people can guess which things cut the deepest, like having a lawyer communicate between you and the man you thought you’d celebrate 50 years with, but here are 10 unusual things that devastated me about my divorce:

1. He watched season 9 of How I Met Your Mother without me

I will never forget logging on to our Netflix account and feeling so excited when I saw season nine had finally been added. The two of us had watched the entire series right around the time it ended its run on CBS, so we had eagerly been waiting for this day. I thought about texting him to ask if he wanted to watch it with me one day, but as I clicked on the season, I saw that he had already watched the first five episodes. I think I cried for an hour.

2. He deleted a picture of me from his Instagram

In those early days, I stalked his social media like a woman scorned (which I was), just waiting to see some huge, overwhelming piece of news. Instead, that heartache came in the form of a routine sweep of his Instagram where I noticed the one picture he had of me on there, a picture of me asleep on our couch, had been deleted. I felt like he was trying to erase me from existence.

3. He wouldn’t go with me to take our daughter to see Santa

I know, so stupid to think this would be a good idea, but at that point, I was still hoping things would work out for the best. I didn’t want her first big holiday thing to be with just me. I was terrified that if we worked things out, she would see the pictures later and ask, “Where was Daddy?”

4. He went out on Valentine’s Day
Maybe this one’s not so unusual, but y’all. This one drove me crazy. Not so much because I wanted to spend the day with him (my two-year-old nephew brought me flowers that day, I already had a Valentine), but because I was furious that he got to enjoy a “bar crawl” while I was at home, alone, with our baby. Again.

5. He reset all of my preset stations in the car
When he wrecked his own car during our marriage, he drove mine back and forth to work. When we split, I let him keep it as he was still making the payments and I didn’t have an out-of-the-home job. On the day of my two-month postpartum appointment, he came by to watch Alice and I drove the car to the doctor. Not only had he removed my “S” necklace from around the mirror, he had also reset all of the stations I had saved in the car. Tears the whole way to the doc.

6. He patched up the living room walls
We had a rent-to-own agreement with his dad in the house we lived in, but it needed a lot of work. I always asked him if we could patch up the holes in the living room and paint, but it never seemed to be a priority… until we separated.

7. He was wearing new clothes
One of the first times I saw him after our separation, he was in a new pair of jeans and a new shirt. I don’t know why this bothered me, you guys. I can’t even explain how irrationally upset I was by this. I remember thinking, “Did he buy this for a date? Did someone buy it FOR him? Also, must be nice to buy yourself new clothes.” I was bitter. I can admit this.

8. He missed me for my “convenience”
I used to ask him if he missed me every time he saw me. He’d shake his head no and say, “Well, I miss the convenience of you. Like you cooking dinner and doing the laundry.” Here’s the really devastating part: I thought that was a good thing! Like, well if he finds it all too much, eventually he’ll want me back. I was delusional and insecure. I can also admit this.

9. He called me a single mom
When discussing with him my idea of going back to school, he said “Oh, they’ll pay you to go back. The government will give you money.” I shook my head. “Pretty sure you have to be a single mom for that.” He stared at me and then said, “Well?” Heart, that was a dagger we felt. (Even though I was totally a single mom, I just didn’t want to believe it.)

10. He argued with me over taking our kitchen items
The day I went to the home we shared to pack up some of my things, I decided to get my favorite pots and pans, dishes, coffee mugs, etc. I will never forget how angry he looked as I packed the things up. “So you just get everything we got in our marriage?” He asked. “Who wants out of the marriage?” I shot back. I couldn’t believe he was arguing with me over colanders and wooden spoons when I had done all of the cooking with and cleaning of those items for two years. Plus, why did he think he should have a say in it? He was allowed to destroy our family, break my heart and keep the appetizer trays? Nope.

Do you have any unusual things that broke your heart during your divorce?
Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

The Divorce Detox Diet

One of my best friends (let’s call her Lisa) is going through a divorce, and I, despite having no knowledge of what she is going through, am trying to stand by her to help her through this difficult time. I am not alone in that role. We all have a Lisa or a Larry whose hand we are holding (or held) during the dissolving of a marriage and chances are, most of us struggle with what we can do to actually help. Throughout my discussions with my friend, however, I realized that above and beyond the psychological hardship she was going through was an additional hardship to her health. Once a healthy eater and marathon runner, she had now acquired a late-night chip habit, was skipping breakfast, turning to sweets to cope for times when she felt the most depressed and even though she was not overdoing it on her alcohol consumption, she found herself having a drink a few nights a week after work — something she never did during her married days. So one day, in the midst of a helpless moment, I said, “tell me what I can do to make life easier for you,” and her reply was adamant, “I need to turn around my diet; can you help me?” So began weeks of pantry and fridge clean ups, transitioning to foods that kept her emotions up and her weight down; and an educational format that showed Lisa how healthy foods would help her get through some of the physical and mental challenges she was experiencing. It was essentially a “divorce detox diet.” After 12 weeks, her attitude, energy and general outlook on her future improved. In no way am I suggesting that diet alone cured all that ailed her, but in Lisa’s world at least, she told me my divorce detox diet was saving her health and ultimately, helped her to recognize the incredible life she still had before her.

Our emotions can dictate a large part of our diet. A bad day at work, a fight with a friend, or even just a long commute home in heavy traffic can cause a relatively healthy person to start dreaming about that glass of chardonnay, the cookie, or the pizza that awaits them at home or the French fries they’ll pick up at the next intersection. They are never dreaming about that big bowl of steamed broccoli, that refreshing glass or cucumber water or the seaweed snacks that are stashed in the pantry. These scenarios are acute, as opposed to chronic however, so when faced with stress day in and day out, as is commonly the case while going through a divorce, the reliance on these unhealthy foods can take a toll.

First, it’s important to recognize that the “feel good” foods you’re chomping on won’t make you feel any better; they’ll actually make you feel worse. Our sugar addictions are out of control and are often coupled with or into foods that are chock full of refined carbohydrates as well (think French fries, pizza and doughnuts). Turning to them in a time of stress may not be the straw that breaks the camel’s back, but turn to them every night to soothe your pain and it will be hard to ever turn away. The sad truth is that they may make your sadness worse. Researchers at the University of Finland found that consumption of sugary processed foods can actually elevate depression. Further, a 2014 study found that stressed individuals that indulged in alcohol or sweets to calm them actually experienced a reduced pleasure from the food of choice. Authors showed that although the desire for a reward (in this case, food or alcohol) was increased for stressed individuals, their pleasure they obtained from it was decreased. And then there’s the very important reality about the effects on our physical health. The sugar high you feel is always accompanied by a low, and eventually, with constant consumption, your health can decline and your life can be shortened. So if you keep up with the candy, cookies and stripped of fiber crackers, your physical health will hitch a ride with your mood and both will follow a road that leads to nowhere.

Now what you know what not to have, here are eight diet-related truths and tips to get you to get you out of the divorcee rabbit hole more vibrant, energized and healthy than when you crawled in.

Go ahead, have chocolate, just not too much
While chocolate (the dark kind) is known to have a whole host of heart benefits, it’s the stress reduction wow factor that will help you during this time in your life. A 2009 study as well as a 2012 study suggested that moderate chocolate consumption could actually help ease stress. The key word here is moderate; if you want to have an ounce of chocolate a day as a treat, go for it, just don’t have the whole bar in a moment of weakness.

Become a salmon “addict”
Several studies have linked deficiencies in omega-3 fatty acids to depression and several more studies show that having omega-3 fatty acids in your diet may even help to ward of depression. Further, adding vitamin D into the mix may also assist in decreasing depressive symptoms as well. Guess what food has both omega-3 fatty acids and vitamin D? Three servings a day of wild salmon will be a great start to a healthy plan.

Don’t fear fat, just fear the type
Fat gets a bad wrap, but most fats will help you when you when you’re looking for something to make you satisfied and full. Both olive oil and the oils from pine nuts have been shown to help keep you fuller, longer. So when you find yourself looking for something to crunch on that makes you feel happy, why not try some popcorn (see my next tip) with a little drizzled oil and sea salt added instead of potato chips or a tub of frosting? The fat in the latter foods may increase your risk for heart disease and stroke and may even increase depression.

When you feel the need to just veg out on the couch, choose popcorn as the snack of choice
Next to coffee, arugula and eggs, popcorn is one of my most favorite foods. It’s crunchy, it can be salty or slightly sweet and you can have lots of it for not a lot of calories. That’s key for any man or woman struggling to keep weight down during stressful times (and struggling to limit those late night snack attacks). A great source of whole grains, popcorn provides you the antioxidants you need to boost immunity (stress can weaken immune systems in both parents and children) at a measly 31 calories a cup.

Whey your breakfast options
One major change I made to Lisa’s diet included having a high-protein shake for breakfast. Lisa called this addition a “game changer” to her former eating habits as it kept her full for a big chunk of the day and made her more resistant to cravings later in the day. A small 2013 study found that having higher amounts of protein for breakfast helped to regulate signals that controlled food regulation, and made participants more resistant to snacking on junk food later in the day. I also suggested that Lisa look for a protein powder that incorporated Whey. One study showed that consumption of whey protein (a major protein found in milk) increased serotonin (a feel-good hormone first isolated at the Cleveland Clinic that is associated with mood elevation).

Envisioning a happy future may make it easier to eat healthier
A 2014 study found that individuals that literally envisioned a happy future actually ate better. So while you’re eating your “happy” foods, it couldn’t hurt to think of that happy future too!

Make exercise and adequate sleep non-negotiable components to your day
As tempting as it is to lie around, you have to get off the couch (and don’t watch cooking shows, they may make your diet worse). Exercise increases feel good hormones, boosts self esteem and keeps excess pounds off. Further, without getting enough Zzzs at night, all your “get healthy” plans will become more difficult to achieve. Sleep enhancers include cherries and fatty fish, sleep disrupters include that nightly glass of wine.

If you need further motivation to clean your diet, think about your children.
Finally, as I am learning through Lisa, divorce effects family members in different ways and new evidence implies a connection between mom or dad’s eating habits and the diet of the kids. A 2015 study in the Journal Childhood Obesity found that children of recently separated or divorced families were much more likely to drink sugar sweetened beverages than children whose parents were married. This bad habit sets up these children for obesity and its related chronic conditions (diabetes, non-alcoholic fatty liver disease, heart disease, etc.) later in life. Another point brought out by the authors of this study is that changing routines due to a divorce in the family are common. Keeping a set time when mom or dad has a meal with the kids, even if it’s just a few times a week is critical and can help to ward off obesity and keep healthy eating habits intact.

Lisa’s divorce detox plan isn’t the only thing that is getting her past a difficult time. But she’s back to exercising, she’s eating well, and she finally feels that tomorrow might not be so bad. These suggestions won’t change your life, but they may help to make you stronger, both physically and mentally.
Divorce – The Huffington Post

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Rosie O’Donnell Files For Divorce

Rosie O’Donnell filed for divorce from her wife Michelle Rounds on Friday in New York, according to People.


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How To Avoid A Nasty And Costly Divorce War

After attorney Joryn Jenkins’ parents divorced when she was seven, she never saw her father again. Experiencing firsthand how divorce can destroy a family forever, Jenkins never wanted other families to go through that. Yet after 35 years of trial work, the attorney was convinced that the grueling divorce court process results in a long and painful experience for the entire family.

Divorce – The Huffington Post

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‘American Idol’ Josh Gracin — Nothing to Lose in Divorce … But Half His Music

It’s a good thing “American Idol” Season 2 finalist Josh Gracin is a country singer — he just got a ton of inspiration by losing half his music rights in his divorce … which was just finalized. According to divorce docs … the exes divvied up…

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Mourning a Child’s Divorce

A number of years back, I wrote a book about divorce out of my own consternation and guilt going through my child’s marital breakup The book is entitled Your Child’s Divorce: What to Expect…What You Can Do to help guide parents of adult children through their son or daughter’s divorce that typically affects the entire family.

This was a subject that plagued me since I found myself grieving long after my son announced he and his wife were splitting. Hoping to understand my role, I sought the advice of family and friends who had divorced children. Many were bitter and seemed to think by blaming the “out-law” they were supporting their child. Others complained about the imposition in their own lives. They were suddenly opening the couch; writing checks to lawyers; fielding desperate midnight phone calls; becoming full-time babysitters; putting retirement plans on hold. Of course, many were relieved their child had escaped a bad situation. More than a few found their relationship with grandchildren had changed. This was a cause of great sadness.

There is no question a son or daughter’s divorce can be a minefield, especially for well-meaning parents who want to be there for their child while he or she rebuilds his or her life. There is always the danger of prolonging the rescue stage.

It is not easy to disengage with the past. It took a while for me to discover that my child’s divorce is not an end, but a beginning. He has since remarried. I have a new wonderful daughter-in-law and a beautiful grandchild. I couldn’t be happier with how things turned out.
Divorce – The Huffington Post

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Stephen Collins — DIVORCE SETTLED … Confession Tape Under Lock and Key

We’ve now obtained the divorce settlement, and it provides every copy of the Collins’ audio in which he confesses to child molestation must be destroyed, with the exception of the original — which is now in Grant’s possession. Grant must deliver the…

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TMZ Celebrity News for Celebrity Justice


Why Divorce After Two Decades?

After nearly 20 years together, actor Chris Rock and his wife Malaak Compton-Rock are getting a divorce. Despite their lengthy marriage, the split has been “a long time coming,” according to a source close to the couple. They are not the only ones calling it quits after many years. Nicholas Sparks, author of bestselling love stories such as The Notebook, and his wife Cathy announced their divorce as well, after 25 years and five children together.

It is surprising and unnerving when we hear about these couples who prevailed for so long but didn’t ultimately succeed at their union. It can be hard to understand what drives people to split up after so many years together. Often who they were as individuals and as partners when they began their marriage can change significantly, along with what they are willing to give up for and accept from the other person.

When two people begin their life together they are not only determined to make it work, they are also hopeful and in love. Because of this they might each agree to things their new spouse wants: when they will have children, how many they might have, whether or not they will move to Chicago to live near his aging parents. Whatever it is, they are in it together. They are willing to set aside some of their own needs for the greater good of the couple. However as time goes by these choices might start to feel like sacrifices.

As I wrote about in What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship, whenever there are two people who want two different things, one person is eventually going to feel that they’ve given up more than the other. It comes down to what I call the “me” versus the “we,” basically what each person needs to be happy as an individual versus what is needed for the greater good of the family. Giving in to your spouse’s requests, or to the “we,” is much easier to do when your union is full of romance and optimism. It is also necessary to get a marriage off the ground. When things settle down, however, and you enter everyday life and become more jaded, this pull and push can become difficult and eventually take its toll.

Also, people evolve. The people you were when you got married are not necessarily the people you are now. That seems particularly true in the case of Chris Rock and Nicholas Sparks who have both become mega successful in their careers since they got married. What made you or your partner appealing at the beginning can sometimes become obnoxious and unappealing. In the same way, the things that drew you to each other to begin with can start to grate on you and you can become unhappy. You might lose respect for your spouse over the years as you realize what they say is often very different from what they actually do. Enough time has gone by that you have lost trust and have stopped hoping your partner will keep their promises and change.

As a result, the incentive to find reasons and ways to compromise can be harder to come by. Those little fights that were tolerable at the start, such as how warm to set the thermostat and dishes in the sink, along with the big ones, which I call The Never Ending Fight, are a constant undercurrent of friction and stress and become difficult to deal with over time.

When all of this comes together, people might begin to look for a way out. With that in mind, sometimes the idea of separating or divorcing can begin to surface long before anyone is willing to actually take steps toward it. One would think that the more time spent together, the more secure a marriage would be. In many cases that is true, but it can also keep unhappy couples together longer because not only is the thought of starting another life daunting, but there is the hope that they will be able to work it out. People may view a long term marriage as providing continuing security, but for those living unhappily or with an unsupportive, critical, angry or devaluing spouse, it may in fact instead be living in a climate of constant insecurity.

If you are feeling lost in your marriage, that you have made sacrifices that cause you to now carry around an undercurrent of resentment, or the sense that your partner has changed and he or she is not the same person you married, now is a good time to think about getting counseling. It is possible to work through your differences; they don’t always have to drive you apart. The most important thing is to work through the anger and resentment. If you are able to do that you might be able to rekindle the interest you had for each other, and even embrace new interests you have each taken on. Though it might be too late for Chris Rock and Nicholas Sparks, it hopefully is not too late for you to resolve the conflict, let go of the aggravation, and settle into a new version of your life together.

Please tune in to the Doctor on Call radio hour on HealthyLife.net every Tuesday at 2 PM EST, 11 AM PST. First and third Tuesdays are Shrink Wrap on Call, second Tuesdays are HuffPost on Call, and the last Tuesday of the month is Let’s Talk Sex! Email your questions dealing with relationships, intimacy, family, and friendships to Dr. Greer at askdrjane@drjanegreer.com.

Connect with Dr. Jane Greer on Facebook, at www.facebook.com/DrJaneGreer, and be sure to follow @DrJaneGreer on Twitter for her latest insights on love, relationships, sex, and intimacy.

For more on Dr. Greer, visit http://www.drjanegreer.com.

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Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

Byron Scott Divorce — Wife Demands Baller Lifestyle … I Can’t Live Without My Gucci!

She lived the Gucci lifestyle before the divorce … and now Byron Scott’s wife is demanding the Gucci lifestyle AFTER the split too — telling a judge the Lakers coach needs to pay up so she can continue to live like a BOSS!We broke the story … Byron…

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TMZ Celebrity News for Fashion


How to Find a Good Divorce Mediator? Your Five Rules of Thumb

If you came to the conclusion that you prefer to handle your divorce through mediation — you have made the right choice. Choosing a good divorce mediator is an essential step, and crucial to the success of the process. Here are five rules of thumb in choosing the right mediator for your divorce.

1. A good divorce mediator makes it easy and affordable for you.

Look for a divorce mediator who offers a flat fee for all the services they provide, as well as a free divorce consultation that includes a complete marital estate assessment. That way, you and your spouse know up front what is involved. Also, make sure your divorce mediator assists with the administrative filing of the divorce decree.

2. A good choice for a divorce mediator is an expert who is dedicated exclusively to the practice of divorce mediation.

Often times, you will find divorce mediators who are primarily private divorce litigation attorneys who practice divorce mediation as a secondary specialty. Although they can also be effective, a divorce litigation attorney is trained with a mindset that may not always be ideal for mediation. They are trained to do battle for their client, and not necessarily as trained in conflict management and mediation.

Other mediators split their practice between therapy and mediation. These are two completely different mindsets, and a professional who focuses on divorce mediation only has more experience and tools, that you will benefit from.

3. A good divorce mediator is great at problem solving.

These are professionals who are excellent in offering various options to facilitate a complex situation. You should be able to notice that already in your free consultation meeting.

4. A good divorce mediator must be compassionate.

The best divorce mediators are very much invested in you. A genuine caring and concern for both you and your family’s longer-term financial and emotional wellness should be obvious on a first impression. Also, someone free of racial or gender bias, and a pleasant person to work with.

5. A good divorce mediator does everything to ensure you come out of the process with a workable agreement and a fair settlement, and will never be the catalyst to your divorce.

That’s why a good mediator would not take your case unless (s)he believes that you and your spouse will be successful. In assessing this, for example, a good divorce mediator should ask whether you both agree that your marriage is over and you are each ready to move on. If either or both of you are not yet at this point, they should refer you to help you decide what each of you really want.

Good luck!
Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

It’s Never Too Late to Mend: What My Parents’ Divorce Taught Me About Heartbreak

2015-01-04-happynewyear_thumb.jpg

Last week, I sat down to dinner with both of my parents for the first time in eight years. The last time the three of us had dinner was the day they told me they were getting divorced.

I was in college and my mom had called to ask if I wanted to fly home for fall break. I didn’t really think anything of it. I was really excited to get out of the snow for a few days, so I said yes. Both of my parents picked me up from the airport and took me to an Indian buffet for lunch on the way home. I ate too much naan and made jokes and completely missed any warning signs.

As I stepped into our house, I immediately noticed the liquor cabinet was empty; not a bottle of alcohol or a wine glass to be seen. When my Dad asked if we could all sit down in the living room to talk, my mind lunged ahead for answers. In split seconds, I reasoned from the empty liquor cabinet that one of my parents was about to tell me they had a drinking problem. I remember reassuring myself “Okay, this is a curve ball, but we will figure it out.” As I sat down and braced myself for the news, some very unexpected words came out of my Dad’s mouth:

“Ellen, your mom and I are getting divorced.”

It turns out the liquor cabinet was empty not because one of my parents had a drinking problem, but because my Dad had moved out and the contents of the liquor cabinet were now in his apartment down the street. He was the wine connoisseur of the family. That made more sense.

But when you’re an adult and your parents have been married for decades, the concept of divorce can seem so foreign. You’re usually not living at home anymore, so you miss the signs that would have given you a hint. You don’t see the interactions and hear the conversations, so you just assume everything is as it was when you left. I had just assumed that my parents would stay together forever because they had made it past my childhood and young adulthood. Divorce was not an option.

I often talk about the romantic breakups that inspired my website Mend, but my parents’ divorce was really the most influential breakup in my life. The breakup of my family taught me more about mending and resilience and forgiveness than any loss of a romantic partner ever has. Until very recently, it felt too raw and painful to write about.

Though it was impossible for me to comprehend when it first happened, I can see now that both of my parents are kinder, happier and more authentic now that they’ve gone their separate ways. As Louis C.K. says, “No good marriage ever ends in divorce.” I understand what he means now. I am thankful that I no longer have to manage the tension of a marriage that wasn’t working.

And as I learned for the first time last week, enough time has passed where I no longer have to manage the tension of their divorce either. I realized at dinner that our hearts have finally mended. Enough water has flowed under the bridge of life, and enough work has been done individually on all of our parts, where we can now just coexist without feeling pain or anger.

In place of those things, there is just ease. I was so relieved to find at dinner that there was still a chemistry of comfort between my parents that was not erased by divorce; a special connection that exists between two people who made a life and kids together, even if they’ve since parted ways. I have mourned the loss of that for years, wondering if any of our jokes and shared sayings and old stories would ever be resurrected, but I don’t have to pay homage to that gravestone anymore. Our memories will always be there, ready for a “Remember when…” the next time we all have dinner. And it won’t be another eight years.

Before we ate, I looked at both of my parents and gave my best effort to deliver a toast. “This is the best gift,” I said. I couldn’t manage more words for my gratitude, though the occasion certainly deserved them.

So, what did I learn about heartbreak this year? I learned that it is never too late to mend. I learned that sometimes your heart has to break completely apart in order to be whole again. My parents had to get divorced in order for us to be where we are now. All of those cracks and tears have mended to form something better than what was there before; kinder hearts, more compassionate hearts, more authentic hearts. We’re all better for it. If you had told me that eight years ago, I would have told you to fuck off. But now, I’m grateful.

Though I know it will be hard to remember this the next time my heart breaks, I will strive to have faith that something better awaits. And that faith is what I wish for all of you in 2015.

Happy New Year.

This post originally appeared on my website Mend.
Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

Idina Menzel And Taye Diggs Quietly Finalize Their Divorce

Sorry, “Rent” fans. It’s officially over.

Idina Menzel and Taye Diggs have been separated for a year, but the two actors have now finalized their divorce, according to TMZ. The couple, which met on the original Broadway production of “Rent” in 1996, announced their split in December of 2013 after 10 years of marriage. According to court documents obtained by TMZ, the couple quietly finalized their divorce on Dec. 3 2014, one month after Diggs filed a divorce petition. The two said in their initial announcement that their primary concern was their 5-year-old son, Walker Nathaniel Diggs.

Last June, Diggs opened up about the separation in an interview with Redbook, saying he wasn’t surprised by the public’s reaction to their split. “There weren’t a lot of couples like us in the theater community,” he said. “It was easy for people to root for us.” Diggs made a public appearance with new girlfriend, model Amanza Smith Brown, last June at the BET Awards.

Menzel also opened up about the split and about being single. The actress told Redbook in November that she’s open to dating, but she doesn’t have much time for it. “They’d have to meet me at, like, midnight after the show, and that’s kind of slutty, isn’t it?

For more, head to TMZ.
Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

Chris Rock’s Estranged Wife Speaks On Pending Divorce

Comedian Chris Rock shocked many earlier this week after revealing that he had chosen to file for divorce after nearly 20 years of marriage. Shortly after reports began surfacing that the cause of the split was simply a desire by Rock to end an “unfulfilling  marriage.”

Now his estranged wife Malaak Compton-Rock, has responded to allegations that she’s been preventing their two daughters from seeing Rock following the separation. Releasing a statement to People Magazine via her lawyer she responded, “Malaak is saddened and disappointed that Chris has accused her of keeping their children from him, which he knows is untrue and can be so easily disproved.” 

Her attorney David Aronson added, “We all know Chris leads a very busy public life while Malaak and their children definitely do not. She hopes the privacy of their children is still as important to Chris as it is to her and that it will be respected. They will always be the main focus of her life.”

[Also Read: Chris Rock Divorcing Wife Because He Just Wasn’t Happy]

http://allhiphop.com/2014/12/31/chris-rock-divorcing-wife-because-he-just-wasnt-happy/

Filed under: News Tagged: Chris Rock, CHRIS ROCK DIVORCE, COMEDIAN CHRIS ROCK, Malaak Compton-Rock, MALAAK ROCK, Top 5, Top Five
AllHipHop

Jeremy Renner’s Wife Sonni Pacheco Files For Divorce After 10 Months Of Marriage

Jeremy Renner and his wife are headed for divorce after just 10 months of marriage.

TMZ was the first to report that Renner’s wife, Sonni Pacheco, filed for divorce earlier this month.

According to documents obtained by E! News, Renner and Pacheo separated on Nov. 29 after marrying in January. She cited irreconcilable differences as the reason for the divorce and wants Renner to “immediately return (her) stolen passport, birth certificate, social security card and be restrained from making further efforts to conceal same.”

She also wants their prenuptial agreement to be invalidated on the basis of “fraud” and is seeking physical custody of their 21-month-old daughter, Ava.

The 43-year-old wed the Canadian model and actress, who is 20 years his junior, in a secret ceremony. He confirmed their marriage in a September interview with Capitol File.

“I have tried to protect my family’s privacy, my wife’s privacy. I don’t need her to get hammered with my life,” he said at the time. “Privacy issues are important because I want her to go about her day without being bothered.”

A rep for Renner was not immediately available for further comment.
Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

Why Everyone Was So Wrong About America’s Alleged Divorce Rate

Earlier this month, The New York Times debunked the long-held myth that 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. But where exactly did that false statistic come from?

HuffPost Live’s Nancy Redd got the answer on Monday from William Doherty, a professor of family social science at the University of Minnesota. He explained:

[That statistic] has always been a projection, and it’s a 40-year projection, and it’s based on data from the early baby boomer generation, when the baby boomers were getting married. So if … 2 percent [of baby boomers] get divorced a year, if you have that sort of projection out over 35 or 40 years, then you have 50 percent or higher. So it was never a fixed amount of current marriages. It was always a projection about the future. And the divorce rate has gone down since the baby boomers were in their marrying age. So it wasn’t such a bad prediction at the beginning, but we’ve not kept up-to-date.

HuffPost Live’s panel also discussed why divorce rates may be falling among younger couples. One possibility is that people are marrying later and later in life, according to Marina Sbrochi, an author currently working on the book Nasty Divorce: A Kid’s Eye View.

“Way back when — you know, ’20s, ’30s, ’40s, ’50s — people got married a lot right out of high school because they’re trying to have sex, so they want to lock it up and get married,” Sbrochi said. “They were maybe rushing into marriages that they’re not vetting out, versus today, people are getting married a lot later. People are getting married in their 30s.”

Catch the full HuffPost Live conversation about the truth behind America’s divorce rates here.

Sign up here for Live Today, HuffPost Live’s morning email that will let you know the newsmakers, celebrities and politicians joining us that day and give you the best clips from the day before!
Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

The 6 New Year’s Resolutions This Divorce Attorney is Making for 2015

2014 has been marked for me by an endeavor which I must admit has been far more fun than the actual practice of family law, blogging on Huffington Post. This putting people back together thing (four couples this year) is certainly not the world’s greatest business model, that’s for sure. I make a living when it all falls apart. The messier it is, the more money I make. The older I get though, I have found there needs to be some balance, some joy along with the sadness. Among my favorite articles are the ones about marriage and trying to find that often-elusive recipe for a successful relationship. These are gleaned from observations of 21 years of failed marriages, my own fairly tragic choices (although, in hindsight, perhaps blessings), and finally, a relationship that makes me believe there is actually someone (with a keen sense of humor) watching over me. I have enjoyed writing the 10 Ways to Stay the Hell out of My Office; The 12 Wedding Vows Your Divorce Attorney Would Write for You; and A Divorce Lawyer’s Advice Before You Say ‘I Do’, the most. Those articles are for the most part comprised of the small changes in perspective that can make your relationship look valuable again. Sometimes it is the really big, hard, unfixable problems that lead you into my office; but most of the time, it is a culmination of the little stuff that eats slowly away at the integrity of our relationships, including mine. So this year, I will continue the effort to save a few marriages, (including my own), and if they don’t work out, help people move on with peace. So here’s hoping I can make it past February with the following resolutions. You might notice none of these involve the gym or swearing off cookies.

1. I will love out loud.
I have an Uncle who just passed away this holiday season from a long illness. He was married to my Aunt so long I remember standing on my tiptoes to see them walk down the aisle. I thought they were a real prince and princess. Upon diagnosis, his wife, children, grandchildren and extended family and friends gathered together and spent time together. They traveled while he could. He was “loved out loud” every minute of every day until he passed. There is a blessing in being given the gift to say goodbye. In reality, no one guarantees us time on this earth. So this year I will “love out loud” to honor him and set an example for my children. I will not await tragedy or diagnosis. I will love out loud because my husband should know that even on our worst days, I love him more than he will ever know. I will let my parents know I am grateful for all they have sacrificed, and how they have shown me love. There are no words to express how much I love my friends and family, but I will seek with purpose to find them. When I can’t find the words, I will show it with my actions. I will say thank you, often, for big things and small ones. I will try not to ever assume that someone knows I love them as deeply as I do and realize that everyone needs to be “loved out loud”

Although this one was not number one in my informal “poll”, it is the one resolution that I am going to work on with a valiant effort. So look out, it is going to be a mushy year for some of you.

2. I will value time as precious.
I asked a few close friends what their New Year’s resolutions would be for their relationships in 2015, and the unequivocal winner was “more time”. So, make time, find time, do what you need to do, but if you want to stay the hell out of my office in 2015, time together is crucial. Where do we find it, I wondered? There is never enough of it to get it all done. What takes it from us? Reality TV, mindless searching on the Internet, work, laundry? Perhaps the best answer is simply saying yes to everyone but our partner. Always saying yes to clients, to carpools, to volunteering, leaves us less time for those we love.

When I was a younger lawyer, my boss had a client who demanded something be done for him immediately, and while my boss was out of the office on vacation with his children. His reply to this client’s phone call was simply “this time is not for sale,” and although in the moment, I did not fully understand the largeness of this statement, today, I try to remember it whenever the time begins to slip away from my children’s childhood into billable hours. I will try to remember to value Time above all else as the real gift to my husband and children. I will let the laundry pile up, a bit, and realize it will all get done… eventually.

3. I will be more present.
People used to leave work on Friday and go home to enjoy the weekend; now work is with us wherever we go. Set boundaries, no email checking after a certain hour, enjoy a lovely dinner without checking in on Facebook. Spend less time on the Internet (after catching up on all you need on Huffington Post, of course). Make time to be still with each other, listen to music that reminds you of summertime, hold hands, talk about your future. Listen, really listen with your heart to what people are saying. Respond to let them know they are heard. Enjoy the sound of little footsteps in your house; breathe in the smell of flowers, cut grass and babies. Realize this moment will never come again, and be in it, all in.

4. I will spend less money and save more.
Stuff will not make you happier, this I know for certain, as I have seen it play out many, many times over the past 21 years of being a lawyer. I know this, and yet I am as susceptible as the next person in falling into the trap of buying what I just don’t need. I spoil my kids. I buy them stuff they don’t need, and take from them the opportunity to learn and grow each time I just hand over something they could save and work for. I have had a job since I was 15 years old and everything good that I have, I have had to work for. I will stop trying to connect my success as a parent to providing more crap to my kids, thereby robbing them of the chance to learn life is hard — so you need to work hard to get what you need. I will not attempt to assuage my working mom guilt with stuff.

I will try to spend less, because it will make our lives easier, give us more time and make my husband less stressed. I will show him that I really mean it when I say as long as we have each other the rest of it is just stuff. I will save because I have children’s colleges, rainy days, and because someday soon I will be old; it happens to us all, if we are lucky.

5. I will give up the martyr act.
It is just not that attractive, and eventually leads to a meltdown or resentment. I will try to ask for what I need before I get completely overwhelmed. I love Christmas, I always have, it was always full of those perfect holidays’ memories. Even when my parents divorced, my mom always made sure it was special, and once a year I felt joy like no other time in my childhood. I admit I am Christmas season obsessed, and yes, I admit, I have left the tree up until it became a fire hazard in February. Over the holidays I realized two things: first, that I was running around unnecessarily like a crazy person, having a complete meltdown from the stress of it all because Christmas was not going to “be perfect” if I did not get the cards done, the cookies done, the house perfectly cleaned (which was just something short of utter failure as a wife and mother), and second, that I am married to someone I really don’t deserve, who is actually willing to help me carry on this particular Christmas obsession; I simply needed to ask. Doing it all myself and then complaining about it was not the Christmas present anyone wanted. So for 2015, less martyr, more mess.

6. I will be accountable for my own happiness.
I will try in 2015, to be accountable for my own happiness by remembering to be grateful for the amazing blessings I have and not focusing on what is missing. I will try not to complain about becoming older by remembering it is a privilege denied to too many others. I will try not to complain about work and recognize I am lucky to have a job. I will do what I can to choose happiness, even when it is not the easy choice. I will remember this life is full of more laughter than tears, unlimited beauty to behold and opportunity to love and be loved every day. Perspective is reality, and I will try to make 2015 the year I keep mine squarely in check.

The list could go on, but having never made it past February on any gym membership I have ever purchased, I am sticking to the ones essential to my soul, and off the record, I will try to drink a little less wine and a drink a few more green smoothies. May 2015 be the year you find love, keep love or let it go with grace and dignity.

© Krista Barth 2014
Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

Chris Rock Files For Divorce From Wife Malaak Compton-Rock [Photos]

Chris Rock and his wife of almost 20 years, Malaak Compton-Rock have split. The couple announced the news via two separate statements Sunday (Dec. 28).

Reports People Magazine:

“After much contemplation and 19 years of marriage, Chris and I have decided to go our separate ways,” Malaak Compton-Rock, a philanthropist and founder of the nonprofit styleWorks, said in a statement Sunday. “Being fortunate enough to lead a life of service by working with those most vulnerable makes me well aware of life’s blessings, even when faced with difficulties.

“While recognizing that this is a significant change, my children remain at the center of my life and their well-being is my top priority. It is in this spirit that I sincerely ask that their privacy and the privacy of our family be respected during this transition in our lives.”

Rock’s attorney, Robert S. Cohen, confirmed the couple has split.

“Chris Rock has filed for divorce from his wife, Malaak,” Cohen said in a statement. “This is a personal matter and Chris requests privacy as he and Malaak work through this process and focus on their family.”

The Top Five star married Malaak in 1996, and share two daughters, Lola Simone and Zahra Savannah .

See throwback photos below.

Photos: WENN

The post Chris Rock Files For Divorce From Wife Malaak Compton-Rock [Photos] appeared first on Hip-Hop Wired.

Hip-Hop Wired

Chris Rock And Wife To Divorce After 19 Years

Chris Rock and his wife have been together in marriage for almost 20 years, but the pair didn’t make it.

Chris has filed for divorce and his estranged wife Malaak Compton-Rock has issued a statement.

“After much contemplation and 19 years of marriage, Chris and I have decided to go our separate ways … While recognizing that this is a significant change, my children remain at the center of my life and their well-being is my top priority. It is in this spirit that I sincerely ask that their privacy and the privacy of our family be respected during this transition in our lives.”

Chris’s publicist issued a statement confirming the news.

“Chris Rock has filed for divorce from his wife, Malaak. This is a personal matter and Chris requests privacy as he and Malaak work through this process and focus on their family.”

The pair have a pair of daughters, Lola, 12, and Zahra, 10.

Filed under: News Tagged: Chris Rock, divorce, Malaak Compton-Rock
AllHipHop

DeMarco Murray — Ex-Teammate Filing for Divorce … After Affair Accusations

DeMarco Murray’s former college teammate Brennan Clay tells TMZ Sports he’s filing for divorce from his wife Gina … after publicly accusing her of banging Murray behind his back. Clay — who played with Murray at the University of Oklahoma — says…

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TMZ Celebrity News for Hook Ups


Keisha Cleans Richard Out in the Divorce | Tyler Perry’s For Better Or Worse | Oprah Winfrey Network

Tune in Wednesdays at 9/8C

Keisha’s underhandedness works on the judge, who awards her nearly everything. In addition to the house and substantial alimony, she receives half of Richard’s share of C-Sports Now.

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The popular comedy series from Tyler Perry, “For Better or Worse” is about the ups and downs of dating and marriage. It follows the zany and sometimes tumultuous relationship of a lovesick married couple, Marcus and Angela Williams. Marcus and Angela were first introduced to the world in Tyler’s hit feature films “Why Did I Get Married” and “Why Did I Get Married Too.”

Oprah Winfrey Network is the first and only network named for, and inspired by, a single iconic leader. Oprah Winfrey’s heart and creative instincts inform the brand — and the magnetism of the channel.

Winfrey provides leadership in programming and attracts superstar talent to join her in primetime, building a global community of like-minded viewers and leading that community to connect on social media and beyond. OWN is a singular destination on cable. Depth with edge. Heart. Star power. Connection. And endless possibilities.

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Surviving the Holidays After Divorce

The holidays are an emotionally charged time of year for all of us, but especially for those who have experienced any loss, which, I’d argue, is most of us who are over 30. If you’re experiencing your first holidays after a divorce (especially if your kids are spending the holidays with your ex), it’s tough to focus your energies on feelings of happiness and gratitude, instead of sadness and resentment.

It’s not easy, but rest assured that it does get easier. Here are some thoughts I try to keep top of mind during the holiday season:

1. Assign your own meaning to the holidays. I’ve heard so many people say they hate the holidays, but that’s a bit like saying you hate your life! (Because who is in charge of enjoying your life? You!) Don’t give your power away. Yes, it’s easy to get sucked into the currents circling around us during the holidays. We feel pressured to buy useless stuff, eat things that don’t make us feel good, spend time with people we don’t really enjoy (or even worse, are people who are toxic).

There’s no way we can do it all, so every year I pick what is important to me. Get clarity on what you want your holiday season to be about. Do you want to take a vacation and go to a faraway place, skipping all the festivities because this is the best time to get away? If I want to have great memories, I have to make the holidays memorable. Do you want it to be about letting the people in your life know how much you care about them in a thoughtful, non-superficial way?

Focus on figuring out what holiday experiences are meaningful to you personally, instead of getting sucked into consumerism and superficial events that leave you feeling empty and depleted.

2. Make plans. Don’t wait to be invited to do something, rather, invite your friends to join in on what turns you on! Parties aren’t obligations in my book. I say yes when I mean yes and no if it doesn’t float my boat. Take control of your experience and embrace the spirit of the season in ways that are meaningful and fun to you. I pick three things I want to do and then make plans, like ice skating, a holiday play or sipping eggnog with friends. Pick your top three and let the rest go.

3. Separate yourself from the past. I love the prayer by Meister Eckhart, “If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, ‘thank you,’ that would suffice.”

There isn’t room for resentment and gratitude. So although I may not have a Norman Rockwell family, I can find gratitude for what is good now in my life.

Change is the only constant. If there’s a tradition from your past that you want to carry on, fabulous! But if it’s not a priority, simplify your life and do only what brings you, and those very close to you, joy. What can you do so that you can feel the magic of the holiday season with a clear heart, the way you deserve to?

4. Keep things in perspective. Can we replace resentment with gratitude? Can you volunteer at an orphanage, foster care, homeless shelter, and hospital? Bringing joy to others not only brings others joy, but places my life in perspective. Build bridges instead of walls.

HOW TO REPLACE RESENTMENT WITH GRATITUDE:

You say grace before meals. All right. But I say grace before the concert and the movies, and grace before the play and jazz club, and grace before I open a book, and grace before sketching, painting, swimming, running, walking, playing, dancing, and grace before I dip the pen into the holiday season.

If gratitude were a drug, it would be the world’s BEST-SELLING product, as it produces the release of the feel-good hormones: serotonin, norepinephrine, testosterone, oxytocin, and dopamine.

I keep an gratitude jar, a journal, and each ornament or ribbon placed on a tree represents an intention for what I want to create in my life. If I have a worry, I place the ribbon on the tree as if it’s already solved. If I have a goal to obtain, I place the ribbon on the tree thanking that it’s already met.

Even if we have hurdles and challenges during the holidays, I can find gratitude knowing there are experts in every field and friends to reach out to. I’m grateful for the people in my life that can help me out when I hit roadblocks and hurdles.

5. Most of all, have fun. Try to reframe and get lost in wonder as much as possible. If I don’t want to buy gifts, I don’t. We can let people know year-round how much they matter, but Christmas is a time to remind us of the gifts we have in our life.

Sharing experiences are more valuable than material gifts, as the experiences are unique to myself and who I share it with. These memories are what stay with me, not a material gift.

I love shopping and everything I do during this season, as that’s the only way to enjoy the journey we call life. Allow yourself to get lost in the little worlds created in the store windows … really stop and take in the lights and the smells. That’s like the holiday version of stopping to smell the roses. In every situation you find yourself in during the holidays, step back and become present and ask yourself: “This is my life, is this how I want to experience this day?” If the answer is yes, you are living an authentic life. If the answer is no, figure out what you need to do to turn that answer into a yes. Realize you have control over your holiday experience. Make having fun your primary goal.

Wishing you the holiday experience you want!
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