College Essay Bloopers

“My mother worked hard to provide me with whatever I needed in my life, a good home, a stale family and a wonderful education.”

“Playing the saxophone lets me develop technique and skill which will help me in the future, since I would like to become a doctor.”

“Such things as divorces, separations and annulments greatly reduce the need for adultery to be committed.”

“I am proud to be able to say that I have sustained from the use drugs, alcohol and tobacco products. I’ve been a strong advocate of the abomination
of drunk driving.”

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Nine Years is the Exact Right Amount of Time to Be in a Bad Relationship: An Essay from Things I’ve Learned From Women Who’ve Dumped Me – Bob Odenkirk

Bob Odenkirk - Nine Years is the Exact Right Amount of Time to Be in a Bad Relationship: An Essay from Things I've Learned From Women Who've Dumped Me  artwork

Nine Years is the Exact Right Amount of Time to Be in a Bad Relationship: An Essay from Things I’ve Learned From Women Who’ve Dumped Me

Bob Odenkirk

Genre: Comedy

Price: $ 1.95

Publish Date: February 4, 2008

© ℗ © 2008 Hachette Audio

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The Heart is a Choking Hazard: An Essay from Things I’ve Learned From Women Who’ve Dumped Me (Unabridged) – Stephen Colbert

Stephen Colbert - The Heart is a Choking Hazard: An Essay from Things I've Learned From Women Who've Dumped Me (Unabridged)  artwork

The Heart is a Choking Hazard: An Essay from Things I’ve Learned From Women Who’ve Dumped Me (Unabridged)

Stephen Colbert

Genre: Comedy

Price: $ 1.95

Publish Date: November 6, 2008

© ℗ © 2008 Hachette Audio

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Dating a Stripper is A Recipe for Perspective: An Essay from Things I’ve Learned From Women Who’ve Dumped Me (Unabridged) – Patton Oswalt

Patton Oswalt - Dating a Stripper is A Recipe for Perspective: An Essay from Things I've Learned From Women Who've Dumped Me (Unabridged)  artwork

Dating a Stripper is A Recipe for Perspective: An Essay from Things I’ve Learned From Women Who’ve Dumped Me (Unabridged)

Patton Oswalt

Genre: Comedy

Price: $ 1.95

Publish Date: November 7, 2008

© ℗ © 2008 Hachette Audio

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I Am a Gay Man: An Essay from Things I’ve Learned From Women Who’ve Dumped Me – Dan Savage

Dan Savage - I Am a Gay Man: An Essay from Things I've Learned From Women Who've Dumped Me  artwork

I Am a Gay Man: An Essay from Things I’ve Learned From Women Who’ve Dumped Me

Dan Savage

Genre: Comedy

Price: $ 1.95

Publish Date: February 4, 2008

© ℗ © 2008 Hachette Audio

iTunes Store: Top Audiobooks in Comedy

Tips For Writing Your Yale College Application Personal Essay

Across the country, high school students are feverishly working on their college applications and today, more than ever, the personal essay is the one element that can sway an admissions board. Below are some valuable tips and essay examples for anyone with hopes of getting into Yale University.

1. Make your first sentence grab a reader’s attention.

“I spit at the person who dared to challenge me, a thick, perfect loogie filled with mucous, righteousness, and flax seeds.”

“O, stinking injustice, tremble at how vigorously I shake my fist at thee!”

“The blog I wrote about gender-neutral pronouns took me all night to compose and was worth it.”

2. Focus on a life-changing event that expresses your worldview.

I was flipping through The Great Gatsby when I got to Chapter Seven. Gatsby and Daisy are in a hotel room suite where Tom Buchanan tells them, ‘Nowadays people begin by sneering at family life and family institutions and next they’ll throw everything overboard and have intermarriage between black and white.’ For a few moments I couldn’t believe what I just read. In a book, regarded as a classic! I couldn’t breathe. My stomach hurt. I threw up, then fell to the floor and rolled around in the middle of my own sick. Then I blacked out. I awoke in the hospital, where I remained for a week, Fitzgerald’s racist, horrible words pounding in my head. It was then that I made a vow only to read articles on Salon.

3. Describe what makes you you.

“I walk inside my bubble, safe from harm, breathing the glorious air that radiates from my own being, that nurtures, sustains, and validates me.”

“At protests, I scream the loudest because my voice is that of Justice and it demands to be heard and obeyed.”

“Each morning, my pillow is drenched with the bitter tears of my own non-inclusiveness. I am ashamed.”

4. Choose an anecdote which reveals your character.

I turned sixteen and my parents felt it was time to allow me to cross the street all by myself. We practiced for several days in our backyard, using traffic cones to represent the sidewalk, while my father dressed up as an Infiniti Hybrid. The day came and I walked to the corner of Drake and Elmster, a block away from my house. My parents stood behind me as I waited for the right moment. Cars passed by the 20-mile speed limit sign. I waited. And waited…but, I couldn’t do it. I ran to my parents, upset that I had failed, but my Mom took my hand and said, ‘You will never fail. And when you are ready, the street will always be here.’ I still haven’t crossed that street. Maybe I never will. And I’m okay with that.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.




Comedy – The Huffington Post
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Eminem Pays Tribute To 2Pac With A Personal Essay

(AllHipHop News) Paper is tapping current Hip Hop representatives to pay homage to deceased icons of the culture. After Kendrick Lamar honored Eazy-E, the publication recruited Marshall “Eminem” Mathers to pen a personal essay about Tupac Shakur.

[ALSO READ: Kendrick Lamar Explains How “To Pimp A Butterfly” Was Originally Going To Be Named After 2Pac (VIDEO)]

“He was taking things further than a lot of rappers at the time — pushing it to the next level as far as giving feeling to his words and his music,” writes Eminem. “A lot of people say, ‘You feel Pac,’ and it’s absolutely true. The way he chose which words to say with which beat was genius.”

Previously, Eminem wrote a letter to Pac’s mother Afeni Shakur. He also drew a picture of the late West Coast legend. Both items are now at the Tupac Amaru Shakur Center for the Arts in Stone Mountain, Georgia.

“When his mother, Afeni [Shakur], let me produce one of Tupac’s albums – the Loyal to the Game album – I wrote her a letter thanking her for letting me do it,” added Em. “You wouldn’t be able to tell the 18/19-year-old Marshall that he would ever be able to get his hands on some Tupac vocals and have that opportunity. It was such a significant piece of history for me and so much fun.”

The Shady Records leader continued his praise for Pac, “Regardless of how good a rapper someone is, it’s easy for things to eventually get dated. But when you make songs like Tupac did, songs that feel like something, that feeling never goes away.”

Read the full essay here.

[ALSO READ: Eminem Wrote A Letter To 2Pac’s Mother Afeni Shakur (PHOTO)]

Filed under: News Tagged: 2Pac, Afeni Shakur, Eminem
Hip Hop News, Interviews and Music: Allhiphop.com

Lena Dunham Pens Essay on Whether She’ll Marry Jack Antonoff After Gay-Marriage Ruling

Lena Dunham wrote a very candid, thoughtful and funny essay about her thoughts on marrying boyfriend Jack Antonoff after the Supreme Court legalized…
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Rachel Dolezal’s College Application Essay: “I Identify As Black”

Rachel Dolezal's College Application Essay: I Identify As Black

Rachel Dolezal's College Application …
Rachel Dolezal’s College Application Essay: “I Identify As Black”
Submitted by: kriseli
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Keywords: rachel dolezal naacp black white racial issues spokane resignation civil rights race human rights African-American ethnicity howard university activist camping personal statement college essay identity family
Views: 21,834

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‘We need to stop being cruel to other women’: Rumer Willis pens powerful essay

The 26-year old revealed that dancing on air made her feel “more beautiful than I had in my entire life.”




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Nine Years Is the Exact Right Amount of Time to Be In a Bad Relationship: An Essay from Things I’ve Learned from Women Who’ve Dumped Me – Bob Odenkirk

Bob Odenkirk - Nine Years Is the Exact Right Amount of Time to Be In a Bad Relationship: An Essay from Things I've Learned from Women Who've Dumped Me  artwork

Nine Years Is the Exact Right Amount of Time to Be In a Bad Relationship: An Essay from Things I’ve Learned from Women Who’ve Dumped Me

Bob Odenkirk

Genre: Comedy

Price: $ 1.95

Publish Date: February 4, 2008

© ℗ © 2008 Hachette Audio

iTunes Store: Top Audiobooks in Comedy

The Heart Is a Choking Hazard: An Essay from Things I’ve Learned from Women Who’ve Dumped Me – Stephen Colbert

Stephen Colbert - The Heart Is a Choking Hazard: An Essay from Things I've Learned from Women Who've Dumped Me  artwork

The Heart Is a Choking Hazard: An Essay from Things I’ve Learned from Women Who’ve Dumped Me

Stephen Colbert

Genre: Comedy

Price: $ 1.95

Publish Date: February 4, 2008

© ℗ © 2008 Hachette Audio

iTunes Store: Top Audiobooks in Comedy

I Am a Gay Man: An Essay from Things I’ve Learned from Women Who’ve Dumped Me – Dan Savage

Dan Savage - I Am a Gay Man: An Essay from Things I've Learned from Women Who've Dumped Me  artwork

I Am a Gay Man: An Essay from Things I’ve Learned from Women Who’ve Dumped Me

Dan Savage

Genre: Comedy

Price: $ 1.95

Publish Date: February 4, 2008

© ℗ © 2008 Hachette Audio

iTunes Store: Top Audiobooks in Comedy

Dating a Stripper Is a Recipe for Perspective: An Essay from Things I’ve Learned from Women Who’ve Dumped Me – Patton Oswalt

Patton Oswalt - Dating a Stripper Is a Recipe for Perspective: An Essay from Things I've Learned from Women Who've Dumped Me  artwork

Dating a Stripper Is a Recipe for Perspective: An Essay from Things I’ve Learned from Women Who’ve Dumped Me

Patton Oswalt

Genre: Comedy

Price: $ 1.95

Publish Date: February 4, 2008

© ℗ © 2008 Hachette Audio

iTunes Store: Top Audiobooks in Comedy