Pingpong champ? Lawyer? Bartender? Untold stories about Drew Brees

Pingpong. Stunt bartender. Trial lawyer. The Saints’ captain lives to compete, and those closest to him share their best stories for his 40th birthday.
www.espn.com – NFL

R. Kelly’s Lawyer Threatens to Sue Lifetime Over Documentary

R. Kelly’s had enough … he’s threatening to sue Lifetime if it doesn’t pull the plug on airing its documentary that paints the singer as a sex-crazed and abusive cult leader. Kelly’s lawyer, Brian Nix, fired off a legal letter — obtained by TMZ…

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TMZ Celebrity News for Celebrity Justice


Juan Gabriel is NOT Alive, Says Manager Son & Estate Lawyer

If you were one of the people who thought “No puede ser” after a rumor surfaced that Juan Gabriel is not actually dead … congrats, you were 100% right. One of Juan’s sons, Ivan Aguilera, who actually served as his dad’s manager for the last 8…

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TMZ Celebrity News for Gossip Rumors


David Charvet’s Lawyer Says Jermaine Jones Is Dangerous, And Charvet’s Scared

[[tmz:video id=”1_95azozhm”]] Jermaine Jones is DANGEROUS … and David Charvet is scared the soccer superstar is going to physically hurt him — the actor’s attorney tells TMZ Sports. We broke the story last month … Charvet claims the former Team USA…

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TMZ Celebrity News for Celebrity Justice


Juan Gabriel is NOT Alive, Says Manager Son & Estate Lawyer

If you were one of the people who thought “No puede ser” after a rumor surfaced that Juan Gabriel is not actually dead … congrats, you were 100% right. One of Juan’s sons, Ivan Aguilera, who actually served as his dad’s manager for the last 8…

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TMZ Celebrity News for Gossip Rumors


So, You Need an Adult Biz Lawyer … Now What?

It is extremely important to have an attorney on your team. Although it might be tempting to forgo the expense, typically, it’s much cheaper to prevent an issue than to have to fix it. Hiring a lawyer can seem intimidating though.
XBIZ.com – Opinion

Aretha Franklin’s Lawyer Files Docs with Estate for Unpaid Legal Bills

Aretha Franklin is getting dogged in death over legal bills … TMZ has learned. The late singer’s lawyer, Gregory Reed, says he had trouble collecting what Aretha owed him when she was alive … so he’s now hoping her estate will cough up some…

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TMZ Celebrity News for Celebrity Justice


Justin Bieber, Hailey Baldwin Lawyer Up for Prenup Before Marriage

Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin will take vows promising to love each other until death, but he’s hedging his bets with a prenup … TMZ has learned. Sources with direct knowledge tell us, Bieber and Hailey have each lawyered up for the negotiation that…

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TMZ Celebrity News for Music


Episode 220 Scott Adams: Puerto Rico, Creepy Porn Lawyer and Other Disasters

Topics: 

  • Puerto Rico death toll, 18 or 3,000?
  • Political analysis versus business analysis
  • Puerto Rico was a disaster by design
  • NASA says CO2 rise has caused significant greening of the earth
  • Experts available on the Interface app by WhenHub

I fund my Periscopes and podcasts via audience micro-donations on Patreon. I prefer this method over accepting advertisements or working for a “boss” somewhere because it keeps my voice independent. No one owns me, and that is rare. I’m trying in my own way to make the world a better place, and your contributions help me stay inspired to do that.

See all of my Periscope videos here.

Find my WhenHub Interface app here.

The post Episode 220 Scott Adams: Puerto Rico, Creepy Porn Lawyer and Other Disasters appeared first on Dilbert Blog.


Dilbert Blog

You Know You Need A New Lawyer When…

– The prosecutor sees your lawyer in the hall, and they high-five each other.

– During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.

– He tells you that his last good case was a “Budweiser.”

– He picks the jury by playing “duck-duck-goose.”

– During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy.

– Every couple of minutes he yells, “I call Jack Daniels to the stand!” and proceeds to drink a shot.

– He frequently gives juror No. 4 the finger.

– Just before he says “Your Honor,” he makes those little quotation marks in the air with his fingers.

– Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, “Whatever.”

– He giggles every time he hears the word “briefs.”

– He keeps citing the legal case of Godzilla v. Mothra.

– He begins closing arguments with, “As Ally McBeal once said…”

Received from Clean Laffs.
The Good, Clean Funnies List

Angelina Jolie Making Divorce So Hostile Her Lawyer is Quitting

Angelina Jolie is fighting Brad Pitt so hard and nasty in their divorce and child custody dispute, her lawyer is quitting her … sources tell TMZ. Sources familiar with the matter say Angelina has been out for blood. As one source connected to Brad…

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TMZ Celebrity News for Celebrity Justice


Weinstein lawyer could face ‘impossible’ task

Harvey Weinstein’s lawyer faces the daunting task of defending the man who’s credited for sparking the MeToo movement.


Reuters Video: Entertainment

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Racist Lawyer Aaron Schlossberg Razzed by Protesters Outside His Apartment

[[tmz:video id=”0_zdaa0t87″]] Aaron Schlossberg — the Manhattan lawyer who went viral for his anti-Latino rant at a sandwich shop — hasn’t been getting much peace and quiet since then … even at his own apartment. A group of protesters gathered on the…

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TMZ Celebrity News for Party All The Time


Christie Brinkley Dines with Stormy Daniels’ Lawyer, Michael Avenatti

Christie Brinkley’s been divorced from Billy Joel for decades, but it seems she still likes big shots … this one in the form of Stormy Daniels’ lawyer. Christie got super cozy Saturday night with Michael Avenatti. Christie and her brood were dining at…

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TMZ Celebrity News for Gossip Rumors


O.J.’s Defense Lawyer Shawn Holley Says He Didn’t Necessarily Confess

[[tmz:video id=”0_8zrk64z7″]] Attorney Shawn Holley, a member of O.J. Simpson’s “Dream Team” that got him acquitted of double murder, says she was disturbed by Simpson’s interview with Judith Regan, but it doesn’t necessarily mean he committed the crime.…

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TMZ Celebrity News for Celebrity Justice


Blac Chyna About to Get Grilled Over Car Crash … Lawyer Doesn’t Believe Her Alibi

Blac Chyna’s gonna have to jog her memory when she finally sits down and gets grilled about a 2-year-old car crash involving her BMW … because the victim’s lawyer thinks she’s lying. Jon Teller, the attorney for one of the women involved in the 2015…

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TMZ Celebrity News for Celebrity Justice


Jon Gosselin Is “Relentlessly Fighting for His Kids” After Multiple Confrontations With Kate Gosselin, Lawyer Says

Jon Gosselin, Kate GosselinJon Gosselin will do whatever it takes to protect his family.
Just yesterday, the reality TV star called authorities to ROG Orthodontics in Wyomissing, Penn. over a “verbal domestic…


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Bill Cosby’s Lawyer Wants Off the Case Before Sexual Assault Retrial

Bill Cosby's defense attorney in his sex assault trial that ended with a deadlocked jury wants off the case before a retrial that's scheduled…
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I Teach You How to Take a Meeting with a Russian Lawyer. Also Some Kid Rock Laughs.

This Periscope livestream is more fun than most. Make sure you stay for the Kid Rock laughs toward the end.

Follow me on Twitter at @ScottAdamsSays to get notified in real time when I start a livestream.


Scott Adams’ Blog

Rob Kardashian’s Lawyer Will Promise Restraining Order Judge He Won’t Bully Blac Chyna on Social Media

Rob Kardashian’s lawyer will appear in court Monday morning and tell the judge … his client will voluntarily refrain from attacking/bullying Blac Chyna on social media. Sources connected with Rob tell us, he’ll be represented by Robert Shapiro of OJ…

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TMZ Celebrity News for Celebrity Justice


Lawyer: Cosby Depo Lasted Hours

The lawyer for a woman who’s accused Bill Cosby of sexually abusing her at the Playboy Mansion when she was 15 says she’ll seek a second deposition of the comedian.


Access Hollywood Latest News

Patrick Kane Rape Case — Someone Stole the Rape Kit … Says Accuser’s Lawyer

[[tmz:video id=”0_gj405pqu”]] Bombshell allegations in the Patrick Kane rape case … with the accuser’s lawyer claiming someone stole the rape kit evidence bag and dropped it off at her mother’s doorstep.   The accuser’s attorney, Thomas J.…

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TMZ Celebrity News for Celebrity Justice


Suge’s Lawyer Tom Mesereau — ‘Straight Outta Compton’ is Entertainment Fiction (VIDEO)

Suge Knight was completely misportrayed in “Straight Outta Compton,” because he’s not a bad guy, he’s brilliant … so says his lawyer. Tom Mesereau was leaving King’s Road Cafe in West Hollywood Sunday when he told our…

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TMZ Celebrity News for Celebrity Justice


‘Walking Dead’ Lawsuit: AMC Seeks Sanctions For CAA Exec Improperly ID’d As Lawyer


AMC says the agency “can now take advantage of the ‘Highly Confidential’ information…he improperly obtained.”

read more


Hollywood Reporter

Big City Lawyer Goes Duck Hunting

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in South Louisiana. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence. As
the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, “I shot a duck
and it fell in this field, and now I’m going into retrieve it.”

The old farmer replied. “This is my property, and you are not coming over here.”

The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S. If you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything you
own.”

The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we do things in Louisiana. We rule ourselves under the Napoleonic Code. We settle
small disagreements like this with the Louisiana Three Kick Rule.”

The lawyer asked, “What is the Louisiana Three Kick Rule?”

The Farmer replied. “Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up.”

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller.

His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees where he immediately vomited.

The geezer’s second kick nearly ripped the man’s nose off his face.

The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer’s third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his dark heart and vengeful will, managed to get to his feet, and said, “Okay, you old coot; now it’s my turn.”

The geezer smiled and said, “Naw, I give up. You can have the duck.”

Received from FranCMT2.
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John Cage: Gay Divorce Lawyer

John Cage: Gay Divorce Lawyer

John Cage: Gay Divorce Lawyer 2:24
Now that marriage equality is the law of the land, let John Cage (Ally McBeal’s Peter MacNicol) handle your impending gay divorce.
Submitted by: Funny Or Die
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6 Ways Your Divorce Lawyer Is Screwing You

In my past life, I was a divorce lawyer at a fancy law firm. I found the entire process of billing clients $ 300+ an hour and prolonging pointless arguments for years to be more than a little disgusting. The part that surprised me the most, though, was that the lawyers I worked with weren’t the sleazy, dishonest shysters I would have expected. The majority were good, honest, hardworking professionals. The problem wasn’t the individuals — it was the machine of divorce practice in general.

Since leaving the life of pinstripes, mahogany desks and secretaries behind, I have helped out friends and relatives with their own divorces, and thus saved them from being caught up in a costly and frustrating system. As much as I’d like to, I can’t save everyone, but I can share the following law practice secrets in the hope that divorce clients everywhere will save themselves a few bucks.

Here’s how your divorce lawyer is screwing you:

  1. She’s hyping you up. People knee-deep in marital breakups are angry and hurt. When you call your lawyer about the latest jackass behavior of your future ex, your lawyer will get fired up on your behalf. Making passionate arguments is part of the job, and any good lawyer should have the ability to be fierce on your behalf. But the fact that your lawyer can make a dazzling argument about something doesn’t mean that it makes sense to fight about that thing. As brilliant as your lawyer may seem, there will be an equally fierce and determined lawyer on your opponent’s side. Because outcomes in court are never guaranteed, and because legal battles can be very expensive, you need to make independent, financially sound decisions about what you will fight for and what you will let go. Resist the temptation to have your lawyer’s advocacy fuel your personal fire. Remember, the longer the fight, the higher the bill.
  2. She’s not shutting you up. Good lawyers understand that it is our obligation to answer clients’ phone calls and listen to your concerns. And because client phone calls are billable time, your lawyer is never going to end the call while you’re blathering on about how you feel and how hard it will be to start over after your divorce has been finalized. She’ll will never say, “Shirley, this is the tenth time you’ve whined to me about what a cheating bastard Howard is, and this call is honestly a complete waste of time and money.” If you’re paying by the hour, make sure that there is a legal reason for the phone call. Otherwise, get a friend and take her out to lunch. It’s cheaper, and usually more productive.
  3. She’s delegating work on your case. If you’ve hired a firm, there is a good chance that more than one person is working on your case. Often, you’ll meet with a partner (one of the big shots), but then an associate or a paralegal (much littler shots) will be doing work on your case. There’s nothing wrong with some work being delegated, but you may not appreciate having hired an ultra-aggressive experienced lawyer for your divorce, only to find that a perky twenty-three year old recent graduate is handling most of your case. Simply put, if you’re the one footing the bill, you’re the one who gets to choose each member of the team. And there are often hidden costs that pop up when more than one person works on case. For example, the firm may bill you for both lawyers’ hours when the two have a discussion about your case. Scrutinize your bill and make sure you’re clear on who is doing what and why.
  4. She’s hiring experts you don’t need. There are lots of professionals out there who will be happy to bill you hundreds and thousands of dollars to do work they deem “essential” to your divorce case. But truthfully, unless you own a very complex business or your spouse has relocated to the Bermuda Triangle, there’s usually no real need for experts to get involved. If you own a local business that has brought in30,000 a year for the past decade, you probably don’t need a forensic accountant to predict what that business is going to earn next year. If you need to figure out how much value a deck added onto your beach house, is you probably don’t need a structural engineer to calculate it. And you almost never need a private investigator to find out all the lurid details of your future ex’s new relationship to figure out whether you’re entitled to alimony.
  5. She’s making judgments about how to handle your case based on what she thinks you can afford to pay. Divorce lawyers, like real estate agents and car salesmen, will do their best to predict what you can afford to pay. Your divorce lawyer isn’t necessarily going to pad the bill when he sees you drive up in a Mercedes — he just isn’t going to cut you any breaks. There is always a cheaper, faster, and more efficient way to handle any case. Of course, that road might not be as aggressive or as careful as other possible roads. If you leave it up to your lawyer to decide, he may sell you the Maserati of divorces when you were really only comfortable buying a Honda. Think about your budget. Get a sense of how much your divorce could and should cost, and be clear with your lawyer about what you are and are not willing to pay
  6. She’s not telling you that she’s out of your price range. Law firms, like anything else in life, come in difference price points. There are Bloomingdale-esque law firms with fancy conference rooms and $ 700 billable hours. There are Kohls-level firms who can handle your entire matter for a $ 5,000 flat fee. And there are discounted service providers who work in bulk and charge even less. But just as the Bloomies shoe sales girl won’t steer you away from the Louboutins, no lawyer is going to tell you, “Honey, I think our firm is far out of your price range.” There are good and bad lawyers at every price range — but it’s your job, not theirs, to be sure that you’re in the right place. The best way to find a professional in your price range is to ask for a referral from a friend or another professional you’ve worked with before.

Remember, when you hire a lawyer, it’s no different than when you a carpenter. He or she has specialized knowledge that you don’t have — and that’s why you’re willing to pay for his or her time. But it’s important that you keep your own perspective, and that you manage the relationship so that you are satisfied with the outcome.

For more tips on how to get the most of your legal dollars, check out Elura’s book: How to Talk to Your Lawyer.

For more of all things Elura, check out www.EluraNanos.com

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

Industry Rules No. 1-4079: A Conversation With Lawyer Julian Petty

Once he was an aspiring rapper, now he represents Ali, Earl Sweatshirt, Vince Staples and the estate of Biggie Smalls. He’s also worked with Michael Jackson, Prince and Stevie Wonder.

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ADULT ENTERTAINMENT NEWS UPDATE:Gabby Love’s top pick! Click and enjoy!

Divorce Is a Death: Divorce Lawyer Turned Client

I used to tell my clients that divorce is a death of sorts. I didn’t know that from experience but through watching former clients suffer and rebuild their lives. Now I firmly feel it personally. Today my own divorce was finalized.

Divorce is a death of a dream. There is loss. There is mourning. The stages of grief in divorce follow the processing of the ultimate loss. However, there is no burial, no ceremony to honor this great sadness of divorce. The happy family pictures under the Eiffel Tower, the worn-in nightly routines and family inside-jokes, are all being prepared to be placed in a casket to be buried in the cold, hard ground. Our dream of growing old together, meeting our grandchildren, and watching our girls turn into young ladies, will never be realized. The home that we bought together just one year ago, to accommodate our six and nine year-old daughters, was supposed to be our forever house. Now it’s just too big and filled with memories.

Last summer before a big family vacation, I watched the deterioration of Bella, my “first born” fluffy, white lap dog. Bella was my law school puppy who snuggled at my feet while I studied for finals and probably could have taken the bar exam after hearing me recite flash cards for three months straight. I never pictured that we would arrive at the point where we were last summer:

I had to put Bella down last summer because it felt like the only right thing to do. At age 12, Bella’s quality of life had dwindled to almost nothing. She had visible cataracts, arthritis, and hip problems. She could barely see her food bowl. She was reduced to bumping into walls, hobbling around corners, and barking at phantoms. Bella could barely make it to the backdoor to relive herself. Days before were supposed to leave for our trip, I made the call to the vet. It was time for Bella to say goodbye to this world. I didn’t want to do it, but I know it was better for her to be at peace.

Everyone logically knows that their pet will not outlive them — rather we tacitly agree when we meet our pets, that we will mourn and be sad in the future, knowing that our pet has a limited time on this planet.

Divorce is entirely different. With marriage, we say “I do” forever. Our vows are “Til death do us part.” Walking down that aisle, nobody anticipates that the death that will part you is one of human design. Nobody thinks that they will “put their marriage down” like a sick pet. That is why divorce is the death of a dream. Everyone knows that they will die someday, but not usually in their 30’s (like me). It feels very Dr. Kevorkian to “kill” the marriage before it kills you.

Now putting my own marriage down today feels oddly similar to putting Bella down. Ironically, my marriage is also 12 years old- with blindness and major pains- dying a slow but certain death. To give that marriage dignity and not to wait until a horrible mishap, (an affair, addiction or a betrayal), seems prudent. We all knew Bella was going to die; however, we had no idea that this relationship would die prematurely. Our love could have lasted forever, but our paths as individuals and our trajectories would never again align.

During this death process, I am going to try to bring ceremony and ritual to the disentangling of lives and dreams. I will honor hat dream (at least to my children), and will honor the lessons that this death has brought me. And when I tell my clients that divorce is the death of a dream, I will now know what I was talking about before.

In the grief process I passed denial, bargaining and anger…I wonder what the next step is…

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

Stephanie March ”Terribly Upset” by Bobby Flay Divorce Battle, Lawyer Says There Are ”Profound Issues” With the Prenup

Bobby Flay, Stephanie MarchSomeone sounds ready to beat Bobby Flay.

From the moment it was revealed that the Food Network star and Stephanie March were splitting up after 10 years of marriage, speculation has run…


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Sly Stone — Lawyer Suffers Supreme KO From Fake Diana Ross

Sly Stone’s lawyer got the Supreme diva treatment outside court — taking a punch to the face from a woman claiming to be Diana Ross.  Law enforcement sources tell TMZ … minutes before Stone and his lawyer entered an L.A. courtroom Friday — a…

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TMZ Celebrity News for Celebrity Justice


Robin Thicke and Pharrell’s Lawyer to Appeal ‘Blurred Lines’ Verdict


“We owe it to song writers around the world to make sure this verdict doesn’t stand,” said the artists’ attorney Howard King.

read more


Hollywood Reporter

Lawyer in India Takes Retailers to Court for ‘Abetting Gay Sex’

An attorney in India has filed a criminal complaint against two retail websites that sell sex toys and novelties — SnapDeal.com and OhMySecret.com.
XBIZ.com | Top Stories

Lawyer: Bobbi Kristina & Nick Gordon Not Married

Bobby Brown’s lawyer has issued a statement over Bobbi Kristina Brown’s marital status.


Access Hollywood Latest News

The Lincoln Lawyer – Brad Furman

Brad Furman - The Lincoln Lawyer  artwork

The Lincoln Lawyer

Brad Furman

Genre: Thriller

Price: $ 7.99

Rental Price: $ 2.99

Release Date: March 18, 2011


In the gripping thriller "The Lincoln Lawyer," Matthew McConaughey stars as Michael "Mick" Haller, a slick, charismatic Los Angeles criminal defense attorney who operates out of the back of his Lincoln Continental sedan. Having spent most of his career defending petty, gutter-variety criminals, Mick unexpectedly lands the case of a lifetime: defending a rich Beverly Hills playboy (Ryan Phillippe) who is accused of attempted murder. However, what initially appears to be a straightforward case with a big money pay-off swiftly develops into a deadly match between two masters of manipulation and a crisis of conscience for Haller.

© © TM & Copyright 2011 LAKESHORE ENTERTAINMENT GROUP LLC AND LIONS GATE FILMS INC.

iTunes Store: Top Movies in Drama

Pharrell Williams’ Lawyer to YouTube: Remove Our Songs or Face $1 Billion Lawsuit


YouTube has been told to stop performing the compositions of about 20,000 songs, but Irving Azoff’s clients are finding the takedown process to be frustrating

read more


Hollywood Reporter

Sony Lawyer: ‘The Interview’ Will Be Distributed

Sony has taken a lot of heat for their decision to withdraw The Interview from its December 25th theatrical release, with even President Barack Obama calling the move to appease hackers “a mistake.” Following the criticism, Sony Pictures is now insisting The Interview will be distributed in some capacity.

Speaking to Meet……
RollingStone.com: News

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Bill Cosby’s Lawyer Accuses CNN Of Running Smear Campaign

Bill Cosby’s lawyer Marty Singer isn’t tipping his hat to CNN for their journalistic prowess; instead, he’s accusing the network of running a smear campaign against his client.

TMZ Reports:

Marty Singer has written a scathing letter to CNN Prez Jeff Zucker, claiming his reporters are out to get Cosby in a special the network is doing with model/actress Beverly Johnson.

Johnson claims Cosby drugged her in the mid ’80s at his NYC home. Singer says in his letter — obtained by TMZ — he contacted the CNN reporters and told them they should get in touch with Mark Burk, who was Johnson’s live-in boyfriend from 2006-2009.

Singer says Burk told CNN reporters Beverly “never said a negative statement about Bill Cosby throughout their entire four year relationship.” Singer goes on, “Burk told CNN that to the contrary, Ms. Johnson stated that she was an admirer of Bill Cosby and only said great things about Mr. Cosby.”

According to Singer, the reporters tried to pressure and manipulate Burk to corroborate Johnson’s claims. He says when Burk stuck to his guns, the reporters abruptly terminated the conversation.

Singer goes to town on Zucker, accusing the network of being “reckless and malicious.” He says, “Accusers are being given a national platform by CNN without first exercising the most rudimentary journalistic investigation as to their claims and motivations.”

CNN has yet to make a statement. Share your thoughts in the comments.

Photo: WENN

The post Bill Cosby’s Lawyer Accuses CNN Of Running Smear Campaign appeared first on Hip-Hop Wired.

Hip-Hop Wired

CNN — Cosby Lawyer Claims Network is Manipulating Interviews to Smear Him

CNN is trying to prop up one of Bill Cosby’s key accusers with unethical, malicious tactics … so claims Cosby’s lawyer.Marty Singer has written a scathing letter to CNN Prez Jeff Zucker, claiming his reporters are out to get Cosby in a special the…

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TMZ Celebrity News for Celebrity Justice


The Lawyer Who Brought Down DOMA Is Amazed by How Far Marriage Equality Has Come

Roberta Kaplan represented Edie Windsor in one of the biggest victories for LGBT rights.
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If You've Been Attacked By A Monster, Godzilla Lawyer Can Help YOU Get Justice, I.e. Money

Have you or your business been attacked by kaiju or any other kind of monster? Then you might be entitled to money. Call Jorge Rivers (Thomas Lennon), Godzilla Attorney. He’ll fight for YOU.

Check the Nerdist-created ad above, and take the first step towards justice.
Comedy – The Huffington Post
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Euro Slut Jennifer Fucks Her Immigration Lawyer

Jennifer is a Euro slut looking to stay in the United States. I’m an immigration lawyer who’s always willing to help nice women achieve the American dream. Since she couldn’t afford my legal services, we negotiated an old-fashioned barter fuck. This beautiful girl is slim, dark and oh-so nasty. I poked every fucking hole in her tiny body and made her taste both her ass and pussy juice. She earned a hot steamy cumload on her face and her papers. I love my job.

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