6 Things We Learned from Freddie Gibbs on The Breakfast Club

Freddie Gibbs on The Breakfast Club

Source: Power 105 / Power 105

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Freddie Gibb’s been on his grizzly for a hot minute and though he’s often overlooked in favor of commercial rappers and flavor of the month artists, his recently released project Bandana has been garnering him praise as his best piece of work to date.

Riding high on the release of his latest album, the Hip-Hop veteran sat down for a quick interview with your favorite Hip-Hop morning show and had no qualms about getting into a bevy of subjects and turned as entertaining an interview as you’ll hear today.

From explaining how he got locked up in Austria because of a dream a white woman had about him to opening up about his desire to sign with 50 Cent, Gangsta Gibbs is answers all questions thrown at him with no hairs on his tongue.

Here are the 6 things we learned from Freddie Gibbs on The Breakfast Club.

 

1. Spike Lee

Freddie Gibb’s says when he said “f*ck Spike” Lee for his depiction of Malcolm X on “Flat Tummy Tea” he says was joking. “I like Spike Lee.” He does say some Muslims he knows do have issues with Spike Lee’s classic biopic film.

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What we learned at the 2019 NHL draft

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The Bill Murray Stories: Life Lessons Learned from a Mythical Man – Tommy Avallone

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The Bill Murray Stories: Life Lessons Learned from a Mythical Man

Tommy Avallone

Genre: Documentary

Price: $ 12.99

Rental Price: $ 4.99

Release Date: October 25, 2018


The documentary follows one man's journey to find meaning in Bill Murray's many unexpected adventures with everyday people. Featuring rare and never-before seen footage of the comedic icon participating in stories previously presumed to be urban legend. Whether it be singing karaoke late at night with strangers or crashing a kickball game in the middle of the afternoon, Bill Murray lives in the moment and by doing so, creates magic with real people.

© © 2018 Believable Grin Movie LLC

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How the Pistons learned to stop thinking and start playing

From a free-flowing style to an Andre Drummond overhaul, reigning NBA Coach of the Year Dwane Casey is changing everything — including the outlook — in Detroit.
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9 Things We Learned from The 85 South Show on The Breakfast Club

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MTV’s Wild ‘N Out might be known as the Nick Cannon show but the improv comedy series has developed a few stars in their own right, namely DC Young Fly, Karlous Miller, and Chico Bean.

Though they’ve come up as individual comics they’ve recently came together to form the threesome known as The 85 South Show. An internet/traveling show, The 85 South Show has been building a core following thanks to the talents of the aforementioned comedians.

Today (Oct. 23), the three jokers checked into The Breakfast Club where they clowned around every chance they got while giving listeners some insight into how they go about their lives.

Touching on topics from sex to why Karlous Miller thinks he got fired from Wild N’ Out, the interview was all kinds of comedy.

Here are the 9 things we learned from DC Young Fly, Chico Bean and Karlous Miller on The Breakfast Club.

 

Instagram Photo

1. Whose Idea Was It?

DC and Chico say that forming the 85 South Show was actually Miller’s idea. Being that they hung out regardless he felt they should take their conversations on the road and make a show of it.

The Latest Hip-Hop News, Music and Media | Hip-Hop Wired

Confessions of a Prairie Bitch: How I Survived Nellie Oleson and Learned to Love Being Hated (Unabridged) – Alison Arngrim

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Confessions of a Prairie Bitch: How I Survived Nellie Oleson and Learned to Love Being Hated (Unabridged)

Alison Arngrim

Genre: Arts & Entertainment

Price: $ 20.95

Publish Date: November 7, 2017

© ℗ © 2017 Tantor Audio

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‘Is This A F*cking Joke?’: Nae Wasn’t Laughing When She Learned The Identity Of Her Catfish

A young woman got the shock of her life when her online beau was revealed on this week’s ‘Catfish.’
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How Tom Cruise Learned to Fly a Helicopter for Mission: Impossible – Fallout

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8 Things We Learned From The Simmons Family on The Breakfast Club

Simmons kids on The Breakfast Club

Source: Power 105 / Power 105

Ever since walking into the spotlight, Jojo, Angela and Vanessa Simmons have seen their celebrity and popularity steadily grow without even having to drop any kind of sex tapes (props).

Now with Growing Up Hip-Hop going four seasons strong and each one of the three getting their entrepreneur on, the Simmons siblings decided to check The Breakfast Club for a quick pow wow with Charlamagne Tha God and Angela Yee.

Opening up about their relationship with each other, Angela’s status with Romeo, and how they feel about Russell Simmons getting caught up in the #MeToo movement, the Simmons clan try to answer any and everything asked of them.

Here are the 8 things we learned from the Simmons siblings on The Breakfast Club.

 

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1. Go-To Man

Jojo Simmons is the go to guy for advice as far as Angela and Vanessa go. He does admit that he gives great advice because of the things he’s been through in life but also says he’s refuses to listen to his sisters complain about each other anymore.

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Five things we learned from Game 3 of the Cup Final

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Five things we learned in Game 2 of the Cup Final

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Five things we learned in Game 1 of the Cup Final

Vegas’ fourth line was electrifying, the refs largely swallowed their whistles and the pregame show didn’t disappoint. What will carry over to Game 2?
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Nine Years is the Exact Right Amount of Time to Be in a Bad Relationship: An Essay from Things I’ve Learned From Women Who’ve Dumped Me – Bob Odenkirk

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Nine Years is the Exact Right Amount of Time to Be in a Bad Relationship: An Essay from Things I’ve Learned From Women Who’ve Dumped Me

Bob Odenkirk

Genre: Comedy

Price: $ 1.95

Publish Date: February 4, 2008

© ℗ © 2008 Hachette Audio

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12 Things We Learned From Tory Lanez on The Breakfast Club

Source: Photo by Rick Kern/Getty Images for Bud Light

While Drake has been crowned The King of The North for quite some time now, Tory Lanez could easily be considered the prince of the city and with his new album Memories Don’t Die fresh off the presses, he’s bound to get some more royal recognition.

Today the Toronto representative stopped by The Breakfast Club to talk with the morning trio (sans DJ Envy) and revealed some interesting tidbits. From the inspiration from his album title to why Nicki Minaj took her verse off of “Shooters,” Tory isn’t shy about being honest regardless of how he may come off.

Here are the 12 things we learned from Tory Lanez on The Breakfast Club.

Instagram Photo

1. Fake Friends

The meaning behind his latest album title Memories Don’t Die is based on the time his friends didn’t hold him down when some cats tried to rush Tory. That’s when he realized he was with fake friends and has since been particular about who he lets into his cipher.

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Things I Have Learned About Gun Control

One of the positive side-effects of the Trump administration is that citizens are far more informed on the issues than at any time in my memory. The public seems to be getting into the details on a lot of topics lately. Gun control is a great example. I consider myself under-informed on that topic, but improving daily, as are most of you who follow the news. And I thought it would be useful for some of you to compare your views on the topic to where I’ve evolved so far.

What follows is my public confession of ignorance on the topic. I will list the things I believe to be true, while asking readers to fact-check me. I’ll modify my list as corrections come in.

In no particular order, here’s what I think I know.

Gun control works. If it didn’t work, the Vegas shooter and the Florida school shooter would have used fully-automatic weapons and killed far more people. The one-time mass shooters are clearly using the most lethal weapons they can get without too much friction. Fully-automatic weapons are expensive, less available, and can create a paper trail with purchase. That’s evidently enough friction to make them not the weapon of choice. Therefore, the existing gun controls on fully-automatic weapons seem to work.

Professional criminals can always get weapons. But they are not the topic of most gun control conversations for that very reason.

States with tight gun control have lower gun violence. But those states are also blue states. The obvious correlation here is that liberals vote for gun control no matter how many or how few problems the state experiences. The state-to-state comparisons do not tell you if gun control works.

Comparing gun ownership in the United States to other countries is more misleading than illuminating because no two situations are alike. The United States isn’t Switzerland and it isn’t Japan.

Chicago has strict gun control and yet it has high gun violence. But that doesn’t tell you gun control doesn’t work. It might tell you Chicago is a blue (liberal) city with a gun violence problem. But that’s all it tells you. We can’t know if Chicago would have even greater problems without the existing gun laws.

Gun ownership is a safeguard against the government turning on citizens. While the professional military will always have overwhelming firepower compared to citizens, private guns would instantly be turned on the unprotected assets and family members of anyone involved in a coup attempt. That’s a safeguard.

The NRA opposes universal background checks for gun purchases because it creates a list of gun owners that would be useful for a government that might want to later confiscate guns. Yet the NRA itself is a list of gun owners, in effect. And any gun owner who buys a weapon, ammo, gun accessories, or uses a gun range is discoverable by their credit card or check purchases. If you subscribe to Guns & Ammo magazine, or visit gun websites, or say pro-gun things on social media, that’s discoverable too. So 98% (just a guess) of gun owners are already discoverable by the government.

There’s probably no practical way to effectively regulate or ban private person-to-person gun sales. But you could pass a law putting some liability (say a $ 10,000 fine for example) on the private seller in case the gun is used by the buyer for a crime within, let’s say, one year. Under this scenario, you also want to have legal ways to privately sell guns without the liability risk. That could include buying a one-year surety bond, or selling the gun to a licensed dealer. Just brainstorming here.

Gun owners worry about a slippery slope from background checks to gun confiscation. But with hundreds of millions of guns already in circulation, and a gun culture in our DNA, we already have Mutually Assured Destruction if the government were to attempt confiscation. The government itself would fall within a week, in my opinion. I judge the slippery-slope-to-confiscation argument to be a real risk, but a smaller risk than just about any other risk the country routinely discusses.

Politicians and citizens often refer to AR-15 rifles as assault weapons, or assault rifles. But a more accurate description, by far, would be “defensive weapon.” I would imagine that for every 10,000 AR-15 sales, perhaps one nut is buying for actual assault purposes. The rest are for sport shooting and defense. Words matter in political conversations.

According to at least one ER doctor who has seen many gunshot wounds, the high-velocity rounds of an AR-15 will explode organs and make wounds unsurvivable, whereas the typical lower-velocity handgun wounds often leave cleaner holes that can be less lethal. This generality assumes most handguns don’t have special rounds that could also explode organs. And distance from target makes a difference, I hear.

Gun owners say handguns are just as effective as AR-15s for mass shootings. This is clearly untrue for special cases such as the Vegas event where shooting distance was a variable. And I would expect human psychology to favor AR-15s for any “make me famous” killings such as the recent school tragedy. I hate to say it, but a military-looking weapon is going to be more appealing, and feel more dominant, for such killers. It would also be an advantage over police on the scene if the first responders had only handguns and shooting distance is a factor. So while it is true that handguns can produce mass casualties, and have, it is also probably true that access to AR-15s raises the risk of mass shootings and the death count too. No one can estimate how much of a real difference it would make. My best guess is “some,” but a small improvement might be enough to matter.

Gun owners say gun control doesn’t work because any law can be skirted. You can’t plug all of the holes in the system. But gun control doesn’t attempt to plug every hole. It attempts to add some useful friction in places that might improve things by 2%, for example. When it comes to life and death, small improvements count.

Some people tell me there are already universal background checks in the law (and therefore existing lists of gun buyers) but I assume that system is incomplete or we wouldn’t be discussing it. I could use some fact checking there.

If universal gun background checks are objectionable to the NRA, would a no-buy list also be objectionable? A no-buy list also carries the risk of identifying legal gun buyers simply because you have to do a search with the buyer’s name to know if he or she is on the no-buy list. But maybe we could mitigate that risk by designing a system that automatically sends a thousand random names of real people with every query so the government can’t tell who the search was for. The gun store owner would get back only the no-buy names from the thousand, in alphabetical order, so it would be easy to check if the customer in front of you is one of them. Or perhaps the gun story owner can see a list of no-buy people in the buyer’s zip code so no query with the buyer’s name is ever used. Just brainstorming here. Might be other solutions that are better.

I will correct and update this list as I learn more on the topic. How close is my understanding to yours? Let me know in the comments or on on Twitter at @ScottAdamsSays.


I started a Patreon account so my audience can influence my content — via micro-donations as low as one dollar.

Writing about persuasion and politics reduced my income by about 30-40% because of tribal effects. I took that risk with full understanding of the outcome because I thought it was worth educating the public on what they were witnessing.

Patreon funding will persuade me to express my opinions as often as practical without worrying about the sensibilities of sponsors, advertisers, or corporate bosses. I appreciate all of you who are making this happen.

 

 

 

The post Things I Have Learned About Gun Control appeared first on Dilbert Blog.


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Witness Testimony: 6 Things We Learned From Troy Ave on The Breakfast Club

Troy Ave

Source: New York Daily News Archive / Getty

Over the past few years Troy Ave has become Hip-Hop fans’ favorite punching bag and while such online animosity would’ve broken most rappers by now, the BK rapper has kept chugging along. Remaining defiant in the eyes of his haters and headstrong in his belief that he’s here for a reason, Troy Ave isn’t phased by all the slander he’s been getting since his album flopped like a disk.

A week after once again stirring up social media because he insinuated he’d take the stand in Taxstone’s trial, the Trop stopped by The Breakfast Club to talk about said subject while also opening up as much as he legally can about his current case, growing as a man, and why he doesn’t feel his album, Major Without A Deal, really flopped.

Here are the 6 things we learned from Troy Ave on The Breakfast Club.

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10 Things We Learned From Jeezy on The Breakfast Club

Aside from Jay-Z, Jeezy’s been everyone’s favorite rapping hustler in the Hip-Hop game for the past decade and change and with his latest album Pressure dropping today the Snowman is back on his grizzly.

Swinging through The Breakfast Club to break down some weight with Charlamagne Tha God, DJ Envy and Angela Yee, Jeezy talks about the difference between trap rappers of past and present, being engaged, and his “non-issues” with Joe Budden.

Here are the 10 things we learned from Jeezy on The Breakfast Club.

Photo: Getty


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The Heart is a Choking Hazard: An Essay from Things I’ve Learned From Women Who’ve Dumped Me (Unabridged) – Stephen Colbert

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The Heart is a Choking Hazard: An Essay from Things I’ve Learned From Women Who’ve Dumped Me (Unabridged)

Stephen Colbert

Genre: Comedy

Price: $ 1.95

Publish Date: November 6, 2008

© ℗ © 2008 Hachette Audio

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6 Things We Learned From Safaree on The Breakfast Club

For the longest time Safaree’s been known as Nicki Minaj’s man or Nicki Minaj’s ex. So for the past year and change the Brooklyn rapper’s been trying to change that label by stepping out on his own with his own music and joining the cast of Love & Hip Hop: Hollywood.

So yesterday Nicki Minaj’s ex dropped by The Breakfast Club for a second to give an entertaining interview where he spoke on his affection for furs, his lack of communication with his famous ex-wifey, and why he cried on that episode of Love & Hip Hop.

Here are the 6 things we learned from Safaree on The Breakfast Club.

Photo: Power 105

The post 6 Things We Learned From Safaree on The Breakfast Club appeared first on Hip-Hop Wired.

Hip-Hop Wired

Dating a Stripper is A Recipe for Perspective: An Essay from Things I’ve Learned From Women Who’ve Dumped Me (Unabridged) – Patton Oswalt

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Dating a Stripper is A Recipe for Perspective: An Essay from Things I’ve Learned From Women Who’ve Dumped Me (Unabridged)

Patton Oswalt

Genre: Comedy

Price: $ 1.95

Publish Date: November 7, 2008

© ℗ © 2008 Hachette Audio

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Niall Horan’s Flicker Documentary Is Here: 8 Things We Learned

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I Am a Gay Man: An Essay from Things I’ve Learned From Women Who’ve Dumped Me – Dan Savage

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I Am a Gay Man: An Essay from Things I’ve Learned From Women Who’ve Dumped Me

Dan Savage

Genre: Comedy

Price: $ 1.95

Publish Date: February 4, 2008

© ℗ © 2008 Hachette Audio

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10 Things We Learned From Boosie & Ray J On The Breakfast Club

Watch out—Boosie and Ray J are set to star as the leads of a new play. The unlikely pair stopped by The Breakfast Club to discuss getting on stage and much more.

Inspired by the book Thugs And The Women Who Love Em by Wahida Clark, producer Melvin Childs joined the two performers on the visit to discuss the origins of the Hip-Hop musical.

Boosie and Ray J opened up about their individual roles, finding good women, reality shows and um booty goons. The result was a more than memorable appearance.

So we present the top 10 things we learned from Boosie and Ray J on The Breakfast Club. Let us know you if think Ray was keep it real when he was asked about Teairra Marie in the comments section below.

Photo: Power 105

The post 10 Things We Learned From Boosie & Ray J On <i>The Breakfast Club</i> appeared first on Hip-Hop Wired.

Hip-Hop Wired

Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb – Stanley Kubrick

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Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

Stanley Kubrick

Genre: Comedy

Price: $ 4.99

Release Date: January 29, 1964


Psychotic Air Force General unleashes ingenious foolproof and irrevocable scheme sending bombers to attack Russia. U.S. President works with Soviet premier in a desperate effort to save the world.

© © 1963, renewed 1991 Columbia Pictures Industries, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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Luann de Lesseps Talks Tom: 18 Things We Learned From Her Sit Down With Andy Cohen

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‘Supergirl’s’ Chris Wood Talks Mon-El & What His Character Learned From Kara

At Comic-Con 2017, Chris Wood discusses his character, Mon-El, who will return in Season 3 on The CW show in some yet-to-be-disclosed way. And, Chris tells Access Hollywood about what his character learned from the time he spent with Kara Zor-El before their sad parting in the Season 2 finale when the Earth was poisoned for Daxamites.


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6 Things We Learned From Meek Mill On Ebro In The Morning

Meek Mill’s career has been on a rollercoaster ride for the past few years thanks to his much-publicized conflicts with Drake, Beanie Sigel, and his ex-wifey, Nicki Minaj. Tomorrow (July 20), the Philly rapper has a new LP dropping, Wins And Losses, and is looking to begin a new chapter in his life filled with success and positivity.

Dropping by Hot 97’s Ebro In The Morning, Meek speaks about being name dropped in Remy Ma’s “ShEther,” the situation with Safaree, and his beef with Drake.

Here are the 6 things we learned from Meek Mill on Ebro In The Morning.

Photo: Hot 97

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In Iowa, Hillary Shows She’s Learned Something About Running While Female

This post originally appeared on The Cut.
By Rebecca Traister

For all those Democrats who fretted for the past year about the probability of a listless primary, and for any who (inanely) predicted a “coronation” for Hillary Clinton (I mean, just as a point of fact, in the U.S. we don’t hand out president crowns, and especially not to women), Monday night put every fear to rest. Democrats could not have asked for a more riveting nail-biter. As of this writing, it’s still not clear whether Bernie Sanders or Hillary Clinton “won,” and I gather, after eleventy hours of listening to polling analysis, that it may not be clear for another eleventy hours.

That’s pretty thrilling. Democrats have two candidates about whom voters feel passionate. The win/tie is tremendous for Sanders, the long-shot challenger from the left. But it’s also pretty great for Clinton, who could have decisively lost Iowa but hung on, and who also became the first Clinton (and the first woman ever) not to have outright lost the state.

Clinton’s approach tonight — her ballsy power-play move of stepping over Republican winner Ted Cruz’s victory speech, and her happy-warrior tone — showed a marked contrast from her 2008 loss in Iowa, a night when she came in nine points behind Barack Obama and one point behind John Edwards. Back then, her concession was dismal, wan, practically consumptive. Eight years later, she was energetic, brassy, and seemed to show she’s learning something about navigating the choppy waters of running for president while female.

The key thing she did in her “sigh of relief” speech on Monday was right her flailing message about health-care reform, which in recent days had gone off the rails for her in a very familiar way.

She was firm and positive in her framing of her goal: “I know that we can finish the job of universal health-care coverage for every man, woman, and child!” she shouted affirmatively and warmly, in sharp contrast to the sharper tone she’d deployed in recent days, culminating in a YouTube clip that was swiftly dubbed by her critics “Hillary’s Mean Scream.” In it, Clinton had bellowed about how “people who have health emergencies can’t wait for us to have some theoretical debate about some better idea that will never, ever come to pass!”

Clinton, who has in one way or another spent decades of her career pushing for universal health-care reform, was expressing her obvious lack of patience for a candidate whose idea of starting from scratch, rather than building on the reforms of the flawed but hard-won Affordable Care Act, strikes her as pie-in-the-sky.

But in failing to present an upbeat take on her disagreement with Sanders, Clinton had sounded like a scold, the disciplinarian, the mean mommy, the pragmatic downer — all versions of a feminized role that she and many, many women have long found it incredibly difficult to escape.

Recall the days following the 2008 Iowa caucus, when the media took advantage of Clinton’s defeat to let loose with their resentment and animosity toward her. That was when conservative Marc Rudov told Fox News that Clinton lost because “When Barack Obama speaks, men hear ‘Take off for the future!’ When Hillary Clinton speaks, men hear ‘Take out the garbage!'” It was in the days after Iowa that Clinton infamously got asked about how voters believed her to be “the most experienced and the most electable” candidate but “are hesitating on the likability issue.” In late January, columnist Mike Barnicle told a laughing all-male panel on Morning Joe that Clinton’s challenge was that she looks “like everyone’s first wife standing outside of probate court.”

What was true in ’08 remains true this year. From her entrance into the campaign, Clinton has been tagged as unlikable, as the practical buzzkill, the boring one with the wonky facts and figures and experience who’s going to show up and tell you that your big plans are impossible, but that she’s thought of some smaller and more doable fixes. Meanwhile, Sanders, who entered the race shouting righteously and correctly about a system that’s broken, has, as his campaign has strengthened, become the unlikely vehicle of idealistic hopes and dreams for America — Free college! Free health care! A $ 15 minimum wage! The breakup of the big banks!

His vision of revolution, as Bryce Covert wrote in Monday’s New York Times, differs significantly from Clinton’s approach, which Covert described accurately as “pragmatism incarnate.” Critics argue that his promises have no chance of coming to fruition, but their soaring scale — and the righteous ideals to which they speak — make him a candidate it is infinitely easier to feel emotionally inspired by. Clinton’s realism may in fact be one of the reasons that her supporters believe that she’d make a more prepared and effective commander-in-chief than Sanders — something that in fact provokes rational excitement, especially by those thrilled at the idea of an experienced, capable, hard-assed Democratic woman president. But hers is not an easy pose to pull off, if you’re trying to win the hearts of America. In fact, MSNBC’s Andrea Mitchell reported tonight that many young voters in Iowa had told her that their decision between Clinton and Sanders had come down to head versus heart, respectively.

That hurts, and it falls into a very old, very well-worn gendered pattern, in which women — understanding that making promises they cannot back up will not get them taken seriously and that they must prove themselves extra-competent in order to be understood as basically competent — become the nose-to-the-grindstone wonks, easily compared to know-it-all bores like Tracy Flick and Hermione Granger. They’re the wet blankets, the ones all too acquainted with the limitations imposed by the world, and all too eager to explain their various ideas for working around them. Men, and especially white men, whose claims to public or political power are more easily understood, are permitted a slightly looser approach.

There’s been some talk about how a female candidate could never be as scruffy as Bernie Sanders, as uncombed and unkempt. A woman could never be as grumpy as Bernie, as left-leaning as Bernie, as uncooperative with party machinery as Bernie. And that stuff is true enough. But the bigger truth is that what Bernie does, to great acclaim, that Hillary Clinton could never do is make big promises of institutional overthrow, tug on our imaginative heartstrings by laying out a future that might not be grounded in reality, and urge a revolution.

Here is a truth about America: No one likes a woman who yells loudly about revolution.

And no, it’s not just this woman. This is a paradigm; it’s why Mom is the disciplinarian and Dad is the fun guy, why women remain the brains and organizational workhorses behind social movements while men get to be the gut-ripping orators, why so many women still manage campaigns and so many men are still candidates.

So here we are! On our way to New Hampshire, a state that inspiring Bernie Sanders is overwhelmingly favored to win. But for one of the first times, in her speech in Iowa, I saw Clinton work effectively to turn the pragmatic ship around, to take what she wants to say — that Sanders’s soaring promises are empty but her more modest proposals might come to pass — and make it sound almost exciting.

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10 Lessons I Learned About Infidelity After Being Cheated On

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Finding out you have been cheated on sucks. No matter how marvelous, monotonous, or miserable you thought your marriage was, discovering the person you trusted most has betrayed you is like being sucker punched by Mike Tyson at church on Sunday.

Not only did my husband cheat, he also left me for his mistress and married her a little more than three years later which was just a few short months ago. They are now expecting their first child.

Sure, this would be a lot for any jilted spouse to absorb. In my case, I met my husband when I was 15, married at 22, and was separated by the time I was 39. Marriage was all I knew and suddenly becoming single in middle age was a lot to wrap my brain around. Sometimes, I admit, I still catch myself wondering how in the world this happened to me – to us – and why.

But there are reasons. And lasting effects.

Three years has provided me with ample opportunity to reflect on how infidelity has impacted my life and what I have learned from the experience, even though I am humble enough to know I am still learning. Here are my takeaways as of today.

1. Infidelity has little to do with appearance, money, education, or social status. Yours or the person with whom your spouse cheats. While I was married I was one of many onlookers who would make snap judgments about why someone else’s spouse was unfaithful. I never failed to weigh in when the husband of a friend left his wife for someone who was less attractive, less successful, less educated, and less respected in the community than she. Or vice versa. What I learned is none of these things matter. What matters is how we each feel in our partner’s company. Anything else takes a distant second place.

2. Infidelity is not your fault. Cheating is an act. When your spouse cheats it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him or her. Cheating is a unilateral decision, a choice your spouse made without you. Your spouse could just as easily have made the choice to leave your marriage without betraying you first. His or her behavior is not a reflection of you, only of himself or herself.

3. But your marital problems are. To varying degrees. Sorry, but it’s true. I am always skeptical whenever I hear someone attribute the breakdown of a marriage entirely to his or her spouse, especially in those cases where one spouse was unfaithful. “I was the perfect wife.” “I was the greatest husband.” No, you weren’t. Nobody is all of those things all of the time even when a marriage is strong.

4. Infidelity changes you. The key is to make sure those changes become positive forces in your life, ones that make you wiser and stronger in your future relationships. Maybe you are more distrustful now. It’s understandable. But if that distrust begets more open communication with a new partner by inspiring you to ask questions rather than accept “bad behavior” at face value, you are giving yourself the respect you deserve. It’s up to you to show the world how you want and expect to be treated. If someone is not giving you respect, walk.

5. But not entirely. Meaning no one can take from you what you aren’t willing to give away. When someone doesn’t value you it doesn’t mean you don’t have value. My mother has a cousin whose first husband treated her badly. After being married to her second husband for some time, she was surprised to discover that everything her first husband said she did wrong her second husband said she did right! Remember who you are and rejoice in it. Guaranteed if you do someone else will, too.

6. If your spouse wants to leave, let him or her go. When my husband told me he was leaving I dropped to my knees and begged him to stay, to which he responded that HE would give ME one more week to become a “better wife” (translation: give up my autonomy and self-respect, what little I had left). He also agreed to have no contact with his mistress during that time, a promise I later learned he didn’t keep (thank you, Verizon). My husband never wanted or intended to stay which meant he had nothing to lose by negotiating with me. My weakened bargaining position, however, meant I did. The point is if both partners aren’t dedicated to repairing the marriage, the marriage cannot be repaired. Your spouse wants to leave? A friendly reminder to not to let the door hit him or her on the ass is actually more than he or she deserves.

7. It’s okay to forgive your spouse. Even if your spouse doesn’t believe or acknowledge he or she did anything wrong and doesn’t need or want your forgiveness. I forgave my ex-husband because it enabled me to move on. True forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves when we are ready and willing to give it, if ever.

8. It’s okay not to. For that repentant spouse who shows up out of the clear blue begging for your forgiveness so he or she can move on, remember you don’t owe anybody anything. Only yourself. Take as much time, even if it’s a lifetime, to heal. You are worth it. Anyone who truly values your forgiveness will wait for it.

9. Not everyone cheats. Nowadays cheating is rampant and it’s easy to become jaded as you hear more and more stories of infidelity. But it’s important to remember that not everyone cheats. Nothing is more unattractive than bashing an entire sex based on the behavior of some or even one. To combat such temptation choose a couple you know, the couple who enjoys or enjoyed the relationship you aspire to have and deserve to have one day, and make them your role model. For me, that couple remains my late grandparents. Whenever I get down in the dumps and think a healthy relationship isn’t possible, I remind myself how my very own grandmother and grandfather remained devoted to each other for nearly 60 years!

10. It’s better to be alone than to be cheated on. I was recently speaking with my ex-husband’s sister at a birthday dinner my ex-husband hosted for our daughter. His sister and I hadn’t spoken in years and while chatting with her about how challenging dating in today’s “hookup” culture can be, she quipped that in hindsight her brother must not look so bad to me now. I couldn’t disagree more and told her so (with him in earshot). Though I have endured my share of lonely nights and bad date nights in between, being with a man, whether my ex or someone new, who thinks so little of me that he could be unfaithful is simply not acceptable. After being cheated on, it’s not that I now expect more from any man who comes into my life. It’s that I no longer accept less.

Visit Stacey at WriteOnTrackLLC.com or follow her on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn and DivorcedMoms.com.

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Divorce – The Huffington Post

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Red hot Rebel Wilson! 6 style lessons we’ve learned from the star

Rebel Wilson’s new Torrid line proves she’s quite the fashionista. Over the years, she’s taught us a thing or two when it comes to style.


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9 Things We Learned From Joe Budden On The Breakfast Club

There never will be a time where Joe Budden won’t be entertaining on The Breakfast Club. The polarizing MC who somehow also functions as an open book could circle back on the show the very next day and still make for an entertaining conversation, word to his successful podcast.

joe-budden-on-the-breakfast-club

Budden is back on the scene–musically–with a new album named All Love Lost dropping at the end of the week but that comes secondary to all the other drama that surrounds his life. Check out all the highlights we learned from Joe Budden on The Breakfast Club in the gallery below.


Photo: Instagram/The Breakfast Club

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Hip-Hop Wired

‘I learned compassion’: Read an excerpt from Sara Bareilles’ new book

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Taylor Swift Reveals the “Important Lesson” She Learned After Clashing With Nicki Minaj

There’s no question that Taylor Swift and Nicki Minaj have moved on from their MTV Video Music Awards drama. From public apologies to surprise collaborations, the duo appears to have no…


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What This Mom Has Learned From Eight Years Of Stepfamily Life

As part of our Blended Family Friday series, each week we spotlight a different stepfamily to learn how they’ve worked to bring their two families together. Our hope is that by telling their stories, we’ll bring you closer to blended family bliss in your own life! Want to share your family’s story? Email us at divorce@huffingtonpost.com.

When she started her blog in 2004, writer Mir Kamin was a single mom facing the realities of divorce. When she married a single guy with no kids of his own in 2007, the blog got even better.

Below, the mom of two tells us how the kids and the parents have adjusted to stepfamily life.

Hi Mir! Please introduce us to your family. How long have you and your husband been together? 

At this point, our immediate family consists of myself, my second (and final!) husband Otto, my daughter (17) and my son (15). 

How long have you and your spouse been together? 

We’ve been married about eight and a half years, but we met our sophomore year in college, which means we’ve known each other for about 26 years.

What are some of the biggest challenges of blended family life?

In our case, it wasn’t just the blending, but that my husband went from being a lifelong bachelor to having a whole family, bam, in his mid-30s. On top of that, he didn’t have much experience with children and both my kids have special needs. So it was… interesting. I’d say that in general the biggest issue arrived when he stopped just hanging back to let me handle stuff and started actively participating in discipline.

Don’t get me wrong, I think he did it just right, but it was a real sort of, “Wait, what? What’s happening here?” for both kids. Specifically, now that both kids are teens, my husband often defaults to what I like to call the “scorched earth” approach and then we have to navigate the whole, “Wait, everyone take a breath, we’re going to have a united front on this situation but first we have to go figure out what it is” thing. It’s not just that he often wants to go with harsher consequences, it’s that even after all this time, the kids still aren’t entirely sure of their connection with him and so that’s always in the back of my mind.

What’s the best thing about being part of a blended family?

All the relatives! I come from a very small family in every possible direction and my kids’ dad’s family isn’t that much bigger, but my husband comes from a family with lots of aunts and uncles and cousins and that’s been awesome all around. Yeah, you have to get used to having a third parent around but look at all the bonus grandparents and other folks you get!

What makes you proudest of your family?
At the end of the day, I think we’ve managed to build a home that’s full of love and humor and respect. And that’s not because we’re so special or great but because it was a priority for my husband and me both in our marriage and in raising the kids. There have been hard times (lots of ’em, actually) but we’re all in it together. “This is a solvable problem” is kind of our family motto. So far, it’s been true.

What advice do you have for other blended families who feel like a peaceful family dynamic is out of reach?

Keep trying. It can take years but love and respect erode a lot of difficult walls, even if the process is slow. And keep an open mind — maybe the end result isn’t going to be what you’d pictured but maybe it’ll be even better.

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8 Things We Learned From Dumblonde On The Breakfast Club [Photos]

Remember Danity Kane? We sure the do. While the female R&B group is no longer, former members Aubrey and Shannon stopped by The Breakfast Club to discuss their new project and more.

As one of the premier acts to come from Making The Band, Danity Kane saw some success through their first two albums, but the girls couldn’t keep it together.

After breaking up, reuniting and breaking up again, Aubrey O’Day and Shannon Bex have started a new pop group Dumblonde.

DJ Envy, Angela Yee and Charlamagne Tha God got the ladies to discuss Diddy, D. Woods, Dawn Richards, the music industry and more.

So we present the top 8 things we learned from the Dumblonde The Breakfast Club interview. Are you surprised Danity Kane made so little money? Sound off in the comments section.


Photo: Power 105FM/Youtube

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Hip-Hop Wired

Ben Savage turns 35: The life lessons we learned from Cory on ‘Boy Meets World’

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9 Things We Learned From Damon Wayans On The Breakfast Club [Photos]

Damon Wayans is a one of a kind for many reasons. The comedian stopped by The Breakfast Club to give his insight on pop culture, television and more.

Known for his contributions to In Living Color, Damon has been funny before and after the legendary show.

DJ Envy, Angela Yee and Charlamagne Tha God got him to discuss his stint on Saturday Night Live, social media, the Wayans family, Bill Cosby and more.

So we present the top 10 things we learned from Damon Wayans on The Breakfast Club. Do you agree with him wanting to get fired from NBC? Sound off below.

Photo: Power 105FM / Youtube

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Miley Cyrus Says Nicki Minaj Was ”Not Very Polite” During Video Music Awards Outburst—Plus, 7 More Things We Learned

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How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Not Listen to Social Media Gurus

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TWITTER IS THE MANSON FAMILY I NEVER HAD

The social media Guru who said “Twitter should be used in moderation” could also probably stop at eating one Cheeto, or even open their eyes while sneezing. It’s a mindless addiction that screams “try and stop me!”.

Now, assuming you’re like most of us on Twitter, you live in a bunker, and manifest symptoms of mild autism and megalomania. You also have an abiding need to get something pointless and stupid off your chest.

So seriously, how do you start? Which key launches the nukes? It seems an endless salad bar without the spit guard. Somewhere you can come back for seconds, gloriously naked under that trench coat, and of course, wearing wet shoes.

THE GENE POOL COULD USE A DEEP END

Not to harsh your Twitter mellow, but what do you naturally aspire to? Ghost of soapy Tyler Durdan? Bikini Model spokesperson? Do you happily lick donuts? Well all you have to do is just close your eyes and click your heels, and take a shot of ether and get in touch with your weird side. It’s all waiting for you on the Internet’s wild wacked west.

You can be your own fantasy. The only thing limiting you are your limitations, and even that can snowball uphill on this thing.

HOW TO START

So for kicks, the first thing you do is follow some profoundly respected celebrity account, because by gosh, you’re both on Twitter and now practically related in an inbred way. You even feel kind of chummy, so you say ‘Hi’ to a Hilary or Katy or Kanye or Fitty, then wait for a response, and wait, all the while slipping deeper and deeper into Nyquil-tini haze.

The good news is you’re not alone — We all got our taste for Nyqil-tinis much the same way.

(At this point, most Twitter virgins experience Twitter fatigue, and must pop Twitter viagra. Just kidding, there is no Twitter viagra. Meth. We use meth).

THE SECRET TO LIFE IS KEEPING THE HOT FUDGE HOT

So now that you’ve been rebuffed, repulsed and repelled, any rational human, medicated or otherwise, would go for the pro-tip. Time to check in with the social media gurus. Y’know, the Swami guys with folded legs, sitting on mountain tops just typing on their laptops — right? Well, social media gurus are the Internet’s bottom feeders: they’ll just bite you on the butt, and feed on your bottom.

It’s the blind leading the blind into an open manhole. Bungee jumping into a burmese tiger trap. The Third base coach waving the runner into a snowblower.

I freely admit an unabashed lusting to become one of them. They’re like the High Priests of some primitive idolatrous cult. Hanging out on the deck of a Temple, just shooting the breeze after a hard day’s flinging sacrificial virgins into the volcano, and fertility rites. You just know you want into that action.

But let’s face it, Twitter is the dog run of social media. Land mines everywhere. You’re bound to step into a simmering pile of tweeting faux pas. Thankfully, with its attention span of a Jello shot, and collective memory loss, it’s always just like shaking the etch-a-sketch clean.

So it begs the question: Do you really need the social media guru sagacity and wisdom?

Here are some of my favorite rules not to follow very closely:

1. NEVER FOLLOW/FOLLOWBACK BLINDLY, IT HURTS YOUR BRAND

Because on Twitter, we aren’t people, we’re brands, and anything we post or do online affects the people following us. So be very careful not to give a sh**. Follow indiscriminately. Hit your daily following limit. Go directly to Twitter jail.

It’s a numbers game, and you only miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t drink. So bottoms up!

2.DON”T OBSESS OVER YOUR FOLLOWER COUNT

Seriously?

Your follower count is the dipstick of your relevancy — if you’re down a quart, you might as well leave it in the shop.

Again, Twitter is a numbers game — no one knows what’s really going on, so it’s the only indicator of your “eating at the cool table” factor. I can’t stress enough the importance of this, and it justifies its accomplishment by the most ruthless means possible. Attending Moabite fertility rites with stomach flu. Shipping off your in-firmed Eskimo grandparents on an ice floe as an amuse-bouche for polar bears. Promising you’ll call after a date and you don’t. It doesn’t matter. It’s for the greater good, your greater good.

And by the same token, if someone is not following you back after three days, unfollow them. If you have the time, block them. And if you have more time, also stick knitting needles into the ears and nostrils of their voodoo doll

Although personally, I start with the knitting needles on Day 2.

3. DIRECT MESSAGE:

OR:

TWITTER IT’S ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL SOMEONE DM’s

Whoa! Seriously? Never DM anyone! Never! Not even to poison control after Bill Cosby roofied you with radioactive Polonium 210.

Twitter is like self-medication for a broad spectrum of interesting characters, from the lithium-addled, insomniac vampires, to the bi-polar narcoleptic dominatrixes. No one wants to get a direct mail from a barnacle with suction cups, and a prescription for an electro-shock bite stick. The kind of stalkerish nut job who needs your opinion on what color thong is appropriate for an afternoon wedding. (Note to the style challenged: it’s all good).

Especially if you yourself have a nagging conscience. Blocking a Twitter crazy conjures up guilty visions of sugar plum fairies dancing on the subway platform, just before they jump. So avoid DMs as if it were the plague with bad breath.

3. DO FOLLOW PEOPLE YOU VALUE

OR:

MANY ARE CALLED, FEW ARE CHOSEN, AND EVEN LESS RSVP

Very few celebrities will send the elevator of success back down to the basement for us methane-breathing troglodytes. Unless they’re extraordinary human beings like Jim Gaffigan, who is quite literally the Dr. Albert Schweitzer of Comedians — just a kind, generous, giving human being and utterly hilarious — no wrong answers. But sadly, Jim can’t field everyone, so you have to blaze your own trail, while avoiding self-immolation like a Vietnamese Monk on a bender.

4. RETWEET REGULARLY

OR:

“WHEN PEOPLE TRY TO RAIN ON YOUR PARADE… PEE ON THEIRS

Again-Seriously?

There is no honor among thieves, and no respect between Twitterers. Trust me, you will inevitably be disappointed, and the “Block” button will seem so wussy and ineffectual, especially compared with what you really want to do to them. Instead of RTing, just hit the ‘I told You So’ button.

This is so high school, that is, if you graduated from John Wayne Gacy High with degree in clown costumes. It’s lousy with fond memories of anti-social non-reciprocation: The old: ‘I’ll scratch your back, and you excoriate mine with a raclette swivel’.

5. ALWAYS USE ORIGINAL CONTENT

OR

(to be continued)

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Comedy – The Huffington Post
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10 Things We Learned From Post Malone On The Breakfast Club [Photos]

Newcomer Post Malone is poised to be Hip-Hop’s next breakout star.The “White Iverson” rapper stopped by The Breakfast Club for his formal introduction.

After a noteworthy run as an independent artist, Malone seems to have the industry’s eyes and ears. He knows that his time is now and can’t afford any missteps.

DJ Envy and Charlamagne Tha God got Post to discuss his come up, being white, staying faithful to wifey and the Black Lives Matter movement.

So we present the top 10 things we learned from Post Malone on The Breakfast Club. Were you disappointed to hear his explanation on his name? Sound off below.

Photo: Power 105FM / Youtube

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7 Things I Learned on My Journey to True Love

2015-08-19-1439995202-2034426-IMG_7933.jpegAs you may have heard, I met the love of my life through The Huffington Post. Who knew a mouthy manifesto I wrote after a bad post-divorce date would lead me to my very own Magic Mike, a man who makes me giggle like a school girl on HuffPost Live?

Honestly, being struck by lightening and resuscitated by Channing Tatum himself would have seemed more in the realm of possibility.

You see, I have had a black cloud stalking me for decades. At 42, I have done it all… dating (high school, college, adult… oh my!), flings, short-and long-term relationships, tripping down the aisle. Nursing a shattered heart, I convinced myself that I gave birth to the man who would piece me back together. I flirted. I dated. I dreamed. But I didn’t think my soulmate was in the forecast.

Here’s seven things I learned on my terrifyingly dark, unpaved third world country type of road to happiness (chock full of I-need-a-barf-bag-to-deal-with-twists-and-turns moments).

1. It happens when you least expect it. It’s so annoying but it’s so true. If you told me my dream guy would read my post, which was basically designed to rip men a collective new a$ $ , and relate to my rant enough to craft a thoughtful response, I would have laughed. Hell, I would have scoffed. Cackled, maybe. But that’s exactly what happened.

2. Be fierce. Repeatedly striking out in love is a gift. When you f*ck up, you lose your fear of failure. Empowered by my perfectly imperfect track record, I was unabashedly myself when I met Mike. I didn’t sacrifice one ounce of who I am and he adores me anyway.

3. Be open (just not in a prostitute kind of way). Date against type, my friends. I am infatuated with a man I would have discounted under traditional dating circumstances. I am a serial plant killer and he is a gardner extraordinaire. Come football season, we will be screaming for different teams in our living room. We will definitely vote for sparring politicians. But, wow, the synergy, the sparks, the soulful love we have is undeniable.

4. Kiss frogs. Come on now, don’t be shy. Every single frog — even the wart covered ones who get off hearing themselves ribbit — are a value add. They teach you about yourself if you listen. They bring you closer to your proverbial prince.

5. It’s cosmic. Finding true love is a spiritual awakening. It’s intuitive. You just know. When you cross paths with your soulmate, love blooms faster than a celebrity dons extensions after a bad haircut. It’s involuntary.

A soul connection differs from a honeymoon phase type of giddiness. The person is a natural extension of you, without warning, without effort, without compromise. The attraction is wild. When you hold hands, there’s an electric current, there’s a perfect fit. The amount of time you’ve been together doesn’t matter; the time you spent apart does.

6. Haters exist. Some people despise happy endings. They don’t believe in fairytales. Others are jealous. I have a friend who has been dismissive about my relationship since the beginning. Readers have left dozens of negative comments. I knew the first time I spoke to Mike that he was like no other. He understood me without explanation. Trust your gut, the telltale signs, the palpable energy. Haters be damned.

7. Live in hope. I have paid my misery dues for a lifetime. I buried my beautiful mom and filed for divorce months later. I have been lied to, spit on, let down. I have felt excruciating pain. I have been emotionally abandoned. I have lost. I ended relationships that weren’t right even though I knew I would be criticized for my choices. Despite everything, I always basked in the rays of hope. I believed in brighter tomorrows. And, finally, my day has come.

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Divorce – The Huffington Post

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This Straight Christian Man Spent A Year Pretending To Be Gay — And This Is What He Learned

This sure is one literal interpretation of the expression “walking a mile in someone else’s shoes.”

In 2012, we brought you the story of Timothy Kurek, a straight, Christian man who “came out” to his family, friends and church community and “lived as a gay man” for a year in order to better empathize with the life and struggles of queer people.

While this is, as a whole, an extremely problematic enterprise, Kurek seems to have learned quite a bit during his year navigating the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community in Nashville, Tennessee. Approximately three years following the end of his experiment, he gave a Tedx Talk discussing his experiences.

Kurek tells the audience that he decided to embark on this journey after a young lesbian told him that she had come out and been disowned by her family. He initially thought it was his “job to straighten her out, to fix her. It was my job to share those six passages in the Bible I’d always been taught condemn homosexuality.”

But then, upon further reflection, he came to consider that these feelings came from a different place.

“Maybe that voice inside my head that told me to do anything other than be there for her in her pain… maybe that voice wasn’t God. Maybe that voice was the result of two decades spent in a hyper-conservative religious bubble.”

It was then that he decided to “come out” as a gay man to his family and friends and experience the ramifications of that choice.

Watch the Tedx Talk above to hear more of Kurek’s story and what happened that year.

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The Top 10 Things We Learned From Nelly On The Breakfast Club [Photos]

Whether you know it or not; Nelly is still moving out here. The St. Louis rapper stopped by The Breakfast Club to talk new music, new business ventures and more.

Now with a successful reality television show in it’s second season, Mo feels more confident than ever in his legacy.

DJ Envy, Angela Yee and Charlamagne Tha God get him to discuss marriage rumors, rap battles, NBA ownership and more.

So we present the top 10 things we learned from Nelly on The Breakfast Club. Thoughts on LL Cool J putting the pressure on him? Sound off below.

Photo: Power 105 / Youtube

The post The Top 10 Things We Learned From Nelly On The Breakfast Club [Photos] appeared first on Hip-Hop Wired.

Hip-Hop Wired

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23 Things I Learned In The Year After My Divorce

 

I lived what a lot of other people thought was a picture-perfect life. I had the kid, the second home and all of the trappings we, as women, are taught to desire.

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Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

4 Things We’ve Learned to NEVER Do in a Relationship Thanks to House Hunters

Literally everything you need to know about how passive aggression can destroy relationships can be learned from watching House Hunters and its many iterations, which we realized while viewing House Hunters International: London (currently available…


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10 Things We Learned From Future On The Breakfast Club

A nonchalant Future recently stopped by The Breakfast Club to discuss his new Dirty Sprite album, moving back to Atlanta, patching things up with Drake and where he stands with his ex-fiancée Ciara after she was spotted with Russell Wilson, their son in tow.

“If I was a kid, and my momma had some dude pushing me, I would’ve jumped out the stroller and slapped the sh*t out of him,” he said in reference to Ciara allowing the NFL star to play daddy. “You never do that in our community…you’ve only known this dude for a few months and bring him around your son, who does that?!” Future maintains that Ciara could easily have a team of nannies and assistants to help her with Baby Future while she gets to know Russ and that he’s not for all of the “publicity stunts.”

But Future Hendrix was cool as a cucumber in the discussion moderated by a rather feverish Charlamagne, DJ Envy and Angela Yee. Hit the flip to see what else we learned from their talk.


Photos: Instagram

The post 10 Things We Learned From Future On The Breakfast Club appeared first on Hip-Hop Wired.

Hip-Hop Wired

What I Learned From Hooking Up With a Guy I Didn’t Like

You don’t have to be in a formal relationship to have sex. After all, it may be a while until you find someone you want to be in a formal relationship with, and chances are you’ll want to have sex sooner than that. Sex is a vitally important part of living — and it’s crazy to think you have to wait around for some perfect person to have it.

I’ve enjoyed lots of safe, consensual sex with very cool people I wouldn’t call boyfriends, but we liked each other and we both knew what was up. You’ll learn a lot about yourself and what you like. And if you’re really smart, you’ll also learn to recognize when you’re saying one thing but feeling another.

It wasn’t until my 30s that I let myself off the leash a bit to explore no-strings sexual intimacy. A lot of it was fun — some of it wasn’t. But it revealed something about my own intentions that I’d done a good job of hiding: In some cases I wanted more and was settling for far less.

For instance, a few years back, I engaged in a brief fling with a man I met online — a handsome, together dude whom I thought could make a solid hook-up buddy. He was in the throes of a breakup, and though I admit it was a sketchy situation, I was “ok” with it because in my mind, I just wanted sex, nothing more. The first time he left my apartment after having untamed sex on my sofa, I felt a rush of excitement, and then a little while later, I felt meh. The experience, while fun for that moment, didn’t have any real staying power.

I’ll try anything twice. So we hooked up another time — and at this point he was single, having officially called things off with his girlfriend. And then he mentioned he’d been on a few dates with someone else. I was shocked by my own response: I felt surprised. Hurt. Because I realized right then that he had no intention of taking me out to dinner — and not because he “couldn’t” but because either it didn’t cross his mind or it did and he passed.

Hooking up, in this case, was a closed loop. This was what I asked for, wasn’t it? No-strings sex? I was making a jump in logic that lots of girls do — that hooking up was a short-cut to having someone like you, when this wasn’t at all what was happening. I figured he would come around. Nope.

(Read more about why hook-ups will leave you hungry.)

Then I realized the most important thing of all: I didn’t even really like the guy! He was good-looking, sure, but he wasn’t all that nice or caring or interesting — and not all that interested in me personally. I was so concerned with what I thought I wanted, and what he thought of me, that I forgot to ask, Geez, do I even want this guy in my life? And the answer was so clear when I finally listened: No.

So what was I doing here, exactly? Exactly.

I never saw him again, and there was nothing to miss. But what I learned here was invaluable: I saw a chink in my tough-girl façade. And I see yours, too. The pseudo-feminist effect you use when you say you just want to get it on and then get on with your life without getting “too attached” isn’t believable. It runs counter to your wiring. It’s pretending you don’t care so that you ward off the risk of getting hurt. Show me someone who’s too busy to be loved, and I’ll show you someone who’s afraid of not being lovable.

(Read more on how feminism f’d up my dating life.)

Now, I don’t think everyone needs to be or should be married, and committed relationships can be negotiated in many ways. You may go through many phases: perhaps a few good years of monogamy, followed by a few years of unattached fun — as well you should. But avoiding real intimacy and connection as a life strategy, and choosing people whom you’re not crazy about, on purpose, to share that with? That’s not a plan for getting ahead. That’s a strategy for avoiding the greatest fear of all: fear of loss.

There’s this misguided feminist idea that to be truly free/strong, you have to be able to treat men the way men sometimes treat women — like used toilet paper. Misguided being the operative word.

You want to call yourself a feminist? Conduct your life from a place of power. And that means being in control of your choices, but also being open to the risk that comes with being emotionally vulnerable. Recognize that wanting to love someone doesn’t make you deficient or weak, but it does mean being brave in the face of potential loss. Because no one can promise eternal love, or guarantee that you won’t get hurt. A mature adult knows this full well and loves anyway. Avoiding any attachments to self-preserve is to operate from a place of fear — the opposite of power.

You don’t learn what you don’t do. So if you want a relationship, now or ultimately, you have to practice really connecting with people. And that may mean having sex, but that also means sharing a meal, exploring other stuff together.

Anyone can keep herself busy with something disposable. It takes an empowered, confident woman to engage in something that’s worth her time, and to put herself in the riskiest position of all: to have something she can’t bear to lose, even if, at some point, she must.

Scared of dating? Check out my online course, “Stop Hating, Start Dating.” I will change the way you think about and approach the whole thing. And visit territrespicio.com for more content like this + to sign up for my newsletter and receive a free copy of my e-book Take the WORK Out of Networking, about how to make better connections in business and in life (it totally works for dating, too).

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Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

Infographic: What We’ve Learned About Pluto

Nearly 10 years after its launch, the New Horizons space probe made a flyby 7,750 miles from Pluto, marking the first time in history a spacecraft has examined the dwarf planet up close, and NASA has begun to release data and images transmitted from the approach. Here’s what we’ve learned about Pluto so far:

  • Has really let itself go since reclassification
  • Scant gravitational pull is only enough to hold one’s attention for about 40 seconds
  • Probably doesn’t have any trees
  • Will complete next orbit around the Sun well after certain obliteration of all life on Earth
  • Has five beautiful moons that it loves equally
  • May be capable of sustaining rock-based life
  • Is part of the United States
  • Will almost assuredly be plundered of all its natural resources within 20 years
  • We were way off painting it purple for our third-grade solar system diorama
  • Similarly cold …



The Onion

Happy Bastille Day! 10 Style Lessons Learned From Our Favorite French “It” Girls


Let’s be real: When it comes to fashion, the French know what’s up. To celebrate France’s national holiday on July 14, we’ve rounded up 10 French “It” girls who define what it means to be tres chic.


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What I Learned From The Trailer To “Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice”

Over the weekend, the DC Comics Nation sent dropped an atomic bomb at San Diego Comic con with the release of the official trailer to Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice. After watching it a couple thousand times, along with the millions of others, I have come to find a few things (along with the rest of the world). This is what I have concluded – check it out!

1) Yes, it looks as if it will be epic. Look at the trailer again.

2) Batman Will Be Brooding and Brooding and Brooding…

Batman has always been the darkest, acclaimed character DC has produced and “Batman vs Superman: Dawn Of Justice” will be a broodfest. Check the pictures out.


“MF…I can brood!”

2.5) Robin is dead.

The Joker is around the corner. Believe that.

 

2.5) Superman Will Be Brooding Too

Even as Clark Kent…I’m moody!

3) Batman Will Kick A$ $ !

If you know comics, you know that Batman has the capability to beat Superman. How this will play out in BVS remains to be seen.

//

 

6) DC will again…delve into Batman’s origin…yesagain.

Batman’s tortured origin is as much of history as real history. Man, woman and child know he lost his parents as a boy, was consumed by it and become a vigilante because of it. Hopefully they don’t over do it.

7) There will be weird sh*t in there – #1.

This weird Lex Luther that is considerably younger than both Batman and Superman. AND he has a lot of hair, which will probably go bye-bye from hanging out with Kryponite so much. Also, what is with “the red capes are coming?” stuff? Are they just looking to be odd ball for the sake of being odd ball? For the record, that’s not always a bad thing.

8) There will be weird sh*t in there – #2.

Why is Batman in some sort of vintage get up fighting thugs with Superman’s “S” on it? Let me find out Supes got thugs on the payroll. Certainly this will get explained and yet…I don’t have any reference for it. Maybe these are the red capes…with no capes.

Okay, but what's going on here?

9) This will be one dark movie.

It looks REALLY dark.

Superman from the 80’s was a pretty happy dude. Historically, Batman wasn’t nearly as dark until Frank Miller got to him in the Dark Knight graphic novel series (he gets a brief look in the movie: seen below). This move looks to take a nod for Hollywood’s love for dystopia. Hey, I love those moves – no pushback here!

10) DC seeks to give Marvel a run, but I can’t help but think they are bat-winging it a little bit.

Certainly they are getting it together and “Batman vs Superman” looks stunning. However, many of us still remember “Dark Knight Rises,” where the Dark Knight seemingly was obliterated and broke. Zod pops up in the trailer too. Suddenly, Bruce Wayne just happens to be in Metropolis when Superman and General Zod destroy the city, killing thousands? He’s mad at Superman, knowing that Zod was the real reason for the mass destruction? Yes, he has personal reasons, but still… Then there’s a glimmer of a random Aqua Man looking fellow swimming. I don’t know, but it is a great conversation piece for us all to brood over over. After millions and millions of views, fanfare to match and DC (and Marvel) heads screaming victory…this movie is already a hit.

Until 2016, we ponder.

 

Filed under: Lifestyle Tagged: Batman, batman v superman, Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice, batman vs superman, DC Comics, superman
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‘Star Wars’: Every Incredible Secret We Learned At The Comic-Con Panel

J.J. Abrams and some VERY special guests brought down the house at this year’s amazing “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” Comic-Con panel.
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10 Fun Food Facts I Learned While on Vacation in Baja, Mexico

Things I didn't really foresee happening on a weeklong vacation at a remote beach in Baja Mexico: Eating epic meals three times a day made from some of the freshest, most delicious organic ingredients around….


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What We Learned From Meek Mill’s CRWN Interview

Meek Mill was all smiles and full of jokes as he sat down with Elliott Wilson for his CRWN Interview. In front of a crowd of a melting pot of 20 somethings at New York City’s Gramercy Theatre (July 2), the Dreamchasers general had a few reasons to be flaunting that pearly white smile. His sophomore project, Dreams Worth More Than Money, is projected to debut at the no. 1 spot on the Billboard 200 chart, his legal woes are a thing of the pass and he has the heart of the woman that just about every man lusts for, Nicki Minaj.

During their 90-minute chat, the 28-year-old gave the audience insight on how he made it through his traumatizing five-month stint in jail, what lane he’s in in hip-hop,who he listens to, being a Future stan and of course his love life. Before the full episode of the sit down posts next week on WatchLOUD.com, take a look at what we learned about the MMG rep as he chopped it up with the YN.

NEW YORK, NY - JULY 02:  Meek Mill (L) and Elliot Wilson pose backstage at CRWN A Conversation With Elliot Wilson & Meek Mill event at Gramercy Theatre on July 2, 2015 in New York City.  (Photo by Rob Kim/Getty Images for WatchLOUD.com)

NEW YORK, NY – JULY 02: Meek Mill (L) and Elliot Wilson pose backstage at CRWN A Conversation With Elliot Wilson & Meek Mill event at Gramercy Theatre on July 2, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by Rob Kim/Getty Images for WatchLOUD.com)

Being in jail was a “nightmare”

Due to his celebrity status, when Meek was first incarcerated he was isolated for 23 hours a day in a cell with no cellmate.

“Imagine being locked in your bathroom for 23 hours a day for like a month,” he said.

The worst part was that he was stripped searched every day at the crack of dawn for no apparent reason.

“I was complaining to my lawyer like ‘Why they keep coming in my cell with dogs and s–t five in the morning when I’m sleep?’ Men with masks on. I gotta stand asshole naked in front of some men every night. But they were just targeting me. It’s just two sides to being famous. You could be targeted or you could be treated better. It was a terrible thing. F–k jail.”

He said he spent his time doing push ups and reading books because he “couldn’t really write any raps.”

“I hadn’t wrote on paper in six or seven years so writing on paper was hard. I like to be in a good mood when I rap.”

But despite having a case of writer’s block, the Philly spitter said he was still “putting in work.”

“I was battling everything moving because that’s the type of animal I am. “The doors never lock all the inmates would be sneaking into each other cells and having little rap cyphers. At 2 o’clock in the morning my cell would be filled with n—s. It would be pitch black.”

The rumor mill was working against him

Though he had no access to the ‘gram, Meek said he still got word of the rumors that were floating around about what he was going through while behind bars.

“They said somebody walked up to me and knocked me out and when I was sleep on the floor they said “It’s levels to this shit!,” he laughed.

NEW YORK, NY - JULY 02:  Meek Mill talks with fans on stage at CRWN A Conversation With Elliot Wilson & Meek Mill event at Gramercy Theatre on July 2, 2015 in New York City.  (Photo by Rob Kim/Getty Images for WatchLOUD.com)

NEW YORK, NY – JULY 02: Meek Mill talks with fans on stage at CRWN A Conversation With Elliot Wilson & Meek Mill event at Gramercy Theatre on July 2, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by Rob Kim/Getty Images for WatchLOUD.com)

Meek is a big fan of Future

“He’s just a trill n—a that be talking that trill sh-t and I like it,” he told Wilson. “The s–t he be talking [about] is just the lifestyle we’re into. I love the flows, the melody. I love to see somebody who got real talent go through the ups and downs and still be able to jump back like me.”

Nicki Minaj was Meek’s ride or die chick while he was in jail

“I had to hear n—s screaming out all this crazy shit about the girl I like and not say [anything]. I never really told anybody that I used to be talking to her on the phone at that time. We was on the phone everyday. It just ain’t happen on overnight…She was holding me down. She ain’t never miss a call.”

J. Cole and Kendrick Lamar aren’t Meek Mill’s favorites

Meek wanted to make something clear. He feels that J. Cole is “dope” and Kendrick Lamar is the “best lyricist doing it right now” but they aren’t really on his playlist.

“I don’t listen to that type of music,” he said unapologetically. “I used to listen to Kendrick sh-t and this time he came with something that just wasn’t my lane. If Nicki does a pop song nine times out of ten I’m never going to listen to it ever in my life…They got songs that I might listen to but that ain’t really my type of s–t. I’m on some Future, Young Thug, Dej Loaf, YG, Troy Ave…Yo Gotti, of course Fab.”

Other highlights: 

Meek doesn’t like when Nicki is in the studio.

He also has a new song in the works with Swizz Beatz and Alicia Keys.

Thought Kendrick Lamar isn’t one of his favorites, Meek says K. Dot “murdered him” on their collab “A1.”

A visual for  the”All Eyes On You” track featuring Nicki Minaj and Chris Brown is on the way.

 

Filed under: Features, Headlines, News Tagged: CRWN, Future, Meek Mill, Nicki Minaj
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11 Lessons in Confidence We Learned From Chrissy Teigen

Hilarious, outspoken, and unfailingly herself, Chrissy Teigen—the multihyphenate professional of being awesome—has a lot to teach us.

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The #1 Most Important Workout Trick I’ve Ever Learned

For me, it is pretty simple. I won’t work out if I find it boring. I will find 292 other ways to spend my time if my fitness regime becomes stagnant. They say “variety is…




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9 Things We Learned About Ruby Rose From Her Twitter Chat (Including Her Celeb Crush!)

Ruby Rose, CosmopolitanOh, Ruby Rose, we just can’t quit you.

The new Orange Is the New Black star has been making waves ever since entering Litchfield Penitentiary during season 3, and fans just can’t…


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Jon Pardi Talks About What He’s Learned From Touring With Alan Jackson

Coming off an opening spot on Alan Jackson‘s 25th anniversary Keepin’ It Country tour, Jon Pardi says he learned a lot of tips from the songwriting veteran. Speaking with Taste of Country, Pardi sang the praises of Jackson. “The thing with Alan is you really see what a great country songwriter is. To me, he’s up there with Merle Haggard and Willie Nelson.”
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Nine Years Is the Exact Right Amount of Time to Be In a Bad Relationship: An Essay from Things I’ve Learned from Women Who’ve Dumped Me – Bob Odenkirk

Bob Odenkirk - Nine Years Is the Exact Right Amount of Time to Be In a Bad Relationship: An Essay from Things I've Learned from Women Who've Dumped Me  artwork

Nine Years Is the Exact Right Amount of Time to Be In a Bad Relationship: An Essay from Things I’ve Learned from Women Who’ve Dumped Me

Bob Odenkirk

Genre: Comedy

Price: $ 1.95

Publish Date: February 4, 2008

© ℗ © 2008 Hachette Audio

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Never Have Your Dog Stuffed: And Other Things I’ve Learned – Alan Alda

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Never Have Your Dog Stuffed: And Other Things I’ve Learned

Alan Alda

Genre: Arts & Entertainment

Price: $ 16.95

Publish Date: September 13, 2005

© ℗ © 2005 Random House Audio

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Learned on the CFDA Red Carpet: Kim Kardashian Feels “Like Shit,” Peter Copping Wants to Dress Caitlyn Jenner


Other nuggets of wisdom gleaned at Monday night’s glittering fete: the preggers reality star wanted to wear ‘something slimming,’ was at Jenner’s ‘Vanity Fair’ shoot to help ‘Caitlyn feel very confident.’

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Strang: Lessons learned from Game 7s in 2000 conference finals

Strang: Lessons learned from Game 7s in 2000 conference finals
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Kim Kardashian Is Pregnant Again: 7 Things the E! Reality Star Has Learned About Motherhood From North West

Kim Kardashian, North West, Kanye West, InstagramNorth West has guided Kim Kardashian in a new direction.

From the moment she became a mother in June 2013, the Keeping Up With the Kardashians star’s life was forever changed. As she…


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Entertainment News! –

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The Top 10 Things We Learned From Ed Sheeran On The Breakfast Club

While Ed Sheeran‘s stardom has taken his name all around the globe and back he still remains a regular Joe. This could not be conveyed more clearly during his recent visit to The Breakfast Club.

The English crooner showed he had no filter with a very memorable interview at Power 105FM.

DJ Envy, Angela Yee and Charlamagne Tha God got him to talk about music, Taylor Swift, his bad eye and not eating the booty like groceries.

So we present the top 10 things we learned from The Breakfast Club Ed Sheeran. We thought the story of him meeting Rick Ross was hilarious, let us know your favorite moment in the comments section.


Photo: Power 105FM / Youtube

The post The Top 10 Things We Learned From Ed Sheeran On The Breakfast Club appeared first on Hip-Hop Wired.

Hip-Hop Wired

This Is When The Strokes Guitarist Learned How to Tie a Tie


With the release of Albert Hammond, Jr.’s tie collection with designer Elliot Aronow’s Jacques-Elliott label, we chatted with the rocker about his keen style eye and upcoming album.

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Gloriana: We Learned A Lot From Taylor Swift

Gloriana (Tom Gossin, Mike Gossin and Rachel Reinert), who were part of Taylor Swift’s 2009-2010 Fearless Tour, tell Access how much they learned from her.


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10 Things We Learned From DJ Khaled On The Breakfast Club

Love him or hate him, DJ Khaled has helped shape the sound of Rap music in the last decade. He stopped by The Breakfast Club to give us some much needed updates and much more.

After a very successful lead single in “Take It To The Head” it seemed all of the momentum towards Khaled’s 8th album I Changed, A Lot seemed to die down.

DJ Envy, Angela Yee and Charlamagne Tha God got the We The Best CEO to discuss album limbo, leaving Cash Money, Lil’ Wayne’s beef with Baby and DJ on DJ hate.

So we present the top 10 things we learned from The Breakfast Club DJ Khaled interview. Do you think he’s telling the truth about the YMCMB situation? Sound off below.

Photo: Power 105FM / YouTube

The post 10 Things We Learned From DJ Khaled On The Breakfast Club appeared first on Hip-Hop Wired.

Hip-Hop Wired

The Top 12 Things We Learned From N.O.R.E. On The Breakfast Club

When N.O.R.E. stops by The Breakfast Club you know it’s going to be a great interview. Things were no different when he caught up with the gang recently.

His open door policy of honesty and signature sense of humor proved once again that Noreaga is one of the best interviews in the game.

DJ Envy, Angela Yee and Charlamagne Tha God got the Queens native to discuss Damon Dash, growing old in Hip-Hop, his next moves and more.

So we present the top 12 things we learned from The Breakfast Club N.O.R.E. interview. What are you thoughts on him and Nas remaking “Body In The Trunk”? Let us know in the comments section below.

Photo: Power 105FM / Youtube

The post The Top 12 Things We Learned From N.O.R.E. On The Breakfast Club appeared first on Hip-Hop Wired.

Hip-Hop Wired

Adrian Marcel Reveals What He Learned Working With Raphael Saadiq, Keyshia Cole, and R. Kelly

Oakland singer-songwriter, Adrian Marcel, sits down with DJ Smallz and reveals what he learned from his mentor Raphael Saadiq, opening for Keyshia Cole on the “Point Of No Return Tour”, and studio sessions with R Kelly.

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7 Secrets We Learned About ‘Star Wars Rebels’ Season 2

Here’s what we learned about “Star Wars Rebels” Season 2, including info on Darth Vader, Ahsoka Tano and… Captain Rex!?
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Kendrick Lamar’s Favorite Rapper And 6 More Things We Learned From His Twitter Q&A

Kendrick Lamar just gave an Odd Future rapper a co-sign and revealed his favorite song off ‘TPAB.’
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What Actress Mary McDonough Learned From a Bad Boob Job | Where Are They Now? | OWN

After getting a bad boob job, actress Mary McDonough became an activist for women’s health issues. Find out what advice she would give to someone considering plastic surgery.

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Their stories made headlines across America. “Oprah: Where Are They Now?” features updates on some of the biggest newsmakers and most memorable “Oprah Show” guests of all time. Find out where they are now, plus see what happened to the biggest newsmakers of all time and how their lives changed after sudden fame and notoriety turned their worlds upside down.

Oprah Winfrey Network is the first and only network named for, and inspired by, a single iconic leader. Oprah Winfrey’s heart and creative instincts inform the brand — and the magnetism of the channel.

Winfrey provides leadership in programming and attracts superstar talent to join her in primetime, building a global community of like-minded viewers and leading that community to connect on social media and beyond. OWN is a singular destination on cable. Depth with edge. Heart. Star power. Connection. And endless possibilities.

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10 Lessons I’ve Learned About Marriage From Divorce

Unfortunately, I know a thing or two about divorce. My parents divorced when I was in my twenties, and my first marriage ended in divorce after 13 years. Even my closest friends all have parents who are divorced.

So when my marriage ended, I thought that having a successful marriage wasn’t in the cards for me. But as luck would have it, I ended up meeting and marrying a man who is not just an amazing person, but a top-notch husband. My second marriage has been my version of Happily Ever After.

What I’ve learned from my experiences of divorce and remarriage, and from observing other couples, is that every couple has the ability to have a successful marriage. Marital success has nothing to do with education, economics or social status. In fact, if ever there was an even playing field, it is in this area.

Having a successful marriage is all about the choices we make every minute of every day. Marriages fail when spouses make poor choices as to how they are going to treat each other. It isn’t more complicated than that. So here are some of my insights about marriage (some learned the hard way) and how you can make good choices and have your own happily ever after…

Lesson #1: Remember that it isn’t your job to make your spouse happy. Your job is to help create an environment in which your spouse can be happy. That means get your act together and be a dependable partner. That means don’t create unnecessary stress or conflict in your marriage. That means genuinely love and encourage your spouse. After that, whether or not they are happy is up to them.

Lesson #2: It helps immensely if you and your spouse have a spiritual practice. Your choice of religion doesn’t really matter. Simply following any spiritual teaching that reinforces the importance of love, compassion and forgiveness, will inspire both of you to treat each other far better than you would otherwise.

Lesson #3: If you are married, that fact should be part of your public persona. Wear your wedding ring. Talk about your spouse in glowing terms to your colleagues and friends. Being married should be part of who you are.

Lesson #4: You can always find someone smarter, more attractive or more successful than your spouse. Remember: your spouse can do the same. “Affair proof” your marriage by telling your spouse regularly how highly you think of them. A daily dose of positive reinforcement goes a long way.

Lesson #5: Frequent physical intimacy is necessary for a happy marriage. Don’t make it complicated. You don’t need outfits, pornography, role playing, threesomes, spouse swapping, BDSM or anything else. You only need to give your spouse your undivided attention, caring and acceptance. It requires nothing more and nothing less.

Lesson #6: If your daily communications with your spouse are limited to the Costco list and your children’s soccer practice schedules, then you both are going to be looking elsewhere for a romantic charge. Flirt with your spouse, not your co-workers or the Starbucks barista.

Lesson #7: Dating does not end on your wedding day. When you go out with your spouse, act like it is your first date. Put on a great outfit, hold hands and make interesting conversation. Don’t save your best self for others. Give your best self to your spouse.

Lesson #8: If you are married, you have an obligation to take care of your appearance. You are the person who is most closely associated with your spouse, and you shouldn’t be an embarrassment to them. You don’t have to look like Kate Upton or Will Smith. You just have to look your best.

Lesson #9: There is no glory in remaining in a bad marriage. No one is going to give you a gold sticker or saint you. Worse yet, your kids ultimately may not thank you for it. So choose how and with whom you spend your time on this earth wisely.

Lesson #10: People stay in marriages for many reasons. For their children. For money. For convenience. For ambition, political or otherwise. But you will find no greater joy than being married solely for love.

Over the years, I’ve learned that marriage is not for the faint of heart. It requires a level of maturity and selflessness that most people don’t possess when they first say, “I do.” However, if you are patient and work hard at it, the rewards of a happy marriage are immeasurable.
Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

What Karrueche Tran Learned About Oversharing on Social Media | OWN

Chris Brown’s ex Karrueche Tran tells Iyanla Vanzant what she learned about sharing her relationship drama on social media.

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Winfrey provides leadership in programming and attracts superstar talent to join her in primetime, building a global community of like-minded viewers and leading that community to connect on social media and beyond. OWN is a singular destination on cable. Depth with edge. Heart. Star power. Connection. And endless possibilities.

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What I Learned Through Meditation

If you’re like me and most busy women, finding time to meditate can seem almost impossible. I sometimes joked I should be meditating just so I’d stop stressing out about meditating! With a full-time job, a daily two-hour commute and two small children (one about to enter the terrible twos soon), meditation is not a luxury on my “to do” list — but a necessity like breathing.

The year 2014 brought about many unexpected and unwanted changes in my life. I was in a very deep process of grief and loss, and I was searching hard for peace and acceptance in what had happened. Meditation became my saving grace; the place I went to when the noise in my head was so loud, I couldn’t hear myself think; the place I surrendered to when the anger and rage was coursing through me and I could hardly breathe; the thing I did when I found myself in the car crying hysterically because the pain was so overwhelming. Meditating infused air into my lungs and quieted my soul… until I was able to reconnect to my center.

People think that meditating is just sitting quietly chanting “om” with no thoughts going through your head. But it is actually quite the opposite. It’s a journey into your own heart. Or at least it’s been a journey into mine. It’s the place where I hear “me” the loudest. Where the true authentic voice of who I am and who I want to be in the world is loud and clear.

It was in those quiet moments meditating I really saw my two children — their innocence and trust in me, their pure love. It was in those quiet moments I stopped judging myself. I stopped feeling sorry for myself for being a single mom and not being able to give them the stable two parent traditional childhood I myself had grown up with. It was in those quiet moments I could appreciate how much they were teaching me — their unconditional love showing me I didn’t need to be anything I thought I had to be for them other than “mommy.” A place they could curl up and snuggle their heads and bodies to feel safe.

I thought about all those years I spent talking and confiding in friends and loved ones about myself, my relationships, my troubles, analyzing every single mistake I had ever made, dissecting every one of my personality flaws — yet never making any real progress towards self-love. But it was in meditation that I was able to connect with spirit, confront my every fear, recognize the false stories I believed about myself and my life and start to embrace the amazing woman I was without judgement.

It was through meditation that I learned gratitude: I actually started to be grateful for the horrible experience that I’d just been through and was still living. I was learning courage and grace. I was learning vulnerability. I was learning how to “receive.” I was learning self-love. I was learning my journey is on-going and there was no “finish line” I had to cross.

So for those of you who still think you don’t have time to meditate. Ask yourself: “How badly do I want to know the answers to life’s great mysteries?” Because all of the answers lie within you. With some simple meditation.
Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

The Year-Long Open Marriage Experiment: What This Woman Learned Could Save Your Sex Life – Salon.com

Robin Rinaldi’s marriage was not a sexless one. “When I polled my married friends,” she writes, “I realized how exceptional was the fact that after sixteen years we still had regular sex once or twice a week — sex that lasted forty-five minutes and often ended in joyful tears.” Despite this exceptional sex life, though, she felt at the age of 44 that something was missing — maybe it was a lack of passion, maybe it was that she had slept with only a few men before marriage or maybe it was that her husband had squashed her hopes of having a child by getting a vasectomy. In her new book, “The Wild Oats Project: One Woman’s Midlife Quest for Passion at Any Cost,” she writes, ”I refuse to go to my grave with no children and only four lovers. If I can’t have one, I must have the other.”

Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

The Moment Eddie Routh’s Parents Learned He Killed ‘American Sniper’ Chris Kyle

Jodi and Ray Routh’s son, Eddie, a Marine Corps veteran, was recently convicted of murdering former Navy SEAL Chris Kyle — the man who inspired the movie American Sniper — and Kyle’s friend, Chris Littlefield. The parents say their son, who was suffering from PTSD and severe mental illness, had sought treatment from the VA and was released from the hospital a week before the shootings.

In the video above, Jodi takes Dr. Phil through the moment she found out her son killed Kyle and Littlefield. “Our daughter Laura calls. She is hysterical, and I knew the moment I heard her voice that something really had gone wrong. And she tells me Eddie’s killed two people,” Jodi says. “My heart just kept saying, ‘No, no. Eddie could never do this.’”

Jodi says she had a gut feeling who the victims were. “When she told me he was driving a black truck, I knew that truck. I’ve seen it before,” she says. “I knew it was Chris’ truck. I had Chris’ number in my phone, and I dialed it, and no one answered. It was a heart-stopping moment.”

Dr. Phil’s entire interview with the Rouths airs Monday.

Need Dr. Phil’s help in your life? Share your story here.

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Dr. Phil – The Huffington Post

Opinion: As A Failure, I’ve Learned To Appreciate The Little Things In Life (by Aaron Dibble)

By Aaron Dibble




The Onion

The 10 Things We Learned From Money & Violence On The Breakfast Club

If you claim you are on The Internets but don’t know about the popular web series Money & Violence, then you are loosing at life. The cast stopped by The Breakfast Club to discuss the show’s popularity and more.

Based in Brooklyn, Money & Violence brings the harsh realities of what the streets of New York used to be in the 1990’s.

Now that #RespectYourJaw has crossed over into classic meme status, the crew’s future seems very bright.

Angela Yee and Charlamagne The God asked all the questions everyone has been interested in knowing.

So we present the top 10 things we learned from The Breakfast Club Money & Violence interview. Do you agree the writers from Empire are shark biting lines? Let us know your thoughts below.

Photo: Power 105FM / Youtube

The post The 10 Things We Learned From Money & Violence On The Breakfast Club appeared first on Hip-Hop Wired.

Hip-Hop Wired

Beauty Lessons We Learned This Year

To think just a year ago, we had no idea that eyebrows could be “on fleek.” We didn’t have a trendy word for not wearing makeup, and if you didn’t wash your hair—well, you just kept it to yourself. That all changed in 2014. Here, these and the other beauty lessons we learned this year.
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8 Things We Learned From Nicki Minaj’s Rolling Stone Magazine Interview [Photos]

Rolling Stone magazine crowns Nicki Minaj as cover girl for its new issue and boy does she open up. She’s come a long way for a woman who didn’t even acknowledge having a boyfriend until they broke up.

In the issue, shot by Terry Richards, Minaj talks about a wide range of topics. From her personal life and channeling her pain into music, to Eric Garner  and police brutality, Rolling Stone managed to tap into a side that she hasn’t really showcased before.

Click the gallery to find out 8 things we learned from her interview, and check out the full interview when the issue drops this Friday (Jan. 2).

Photo: RS

 

The post 8 Things We Learned From Nicki Minaj’s Rolling Stone Magazine Interview [Photos] appeared first on Hip-Hop Wired.

Hip-Hop Wired

An Awesome Santa Learned Sign Language To Make A Deaf Girl’s Christmas Dreams Come True

Santa Claus learns to sign to bring a Christmas surprise to one little girl in Massachusetts.
News

How Sharon Stone Learned That She is Enough – Master Class – OWN

Tune in Sundays at 10/9c.

Sharon Stone has had the opportunity to meet extraordinarily talented people throughout her career and observe their technique. It took her years, but the actress says she finally learned to stop over-rehearsing and just “do it.” Watch her describe how jazz musician Mel Tormé taught her this valuable lesson.

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I’m With Stupid: I Shoulda Learned to Potato Them Drums

I’m going to be a pest this week and get a song stuck in your head, but it’s an OK song, so it won’t be that bad. And you’ll definitely remember the song. You’ll probably even remember the video, which seemed cutting-edge in 1985 but is laughably outdated now.

The song is “Money for Nothing” by Dire Straits, and the video, made with Atari-era CGI, is notable for featuring a man’s frozen, decapitated head thawing out in a microwave oven. It was a big hit back when MTV still played music videos.

I’ve been thinking of that song a lot lately. Well, to be honest, I always think a lot about the title and how I can make it work for me, but it’s come up more often than usual recently because of certain events that I’ve noticed in the news.

First there was the case of the guy who fell asleep at a Yankees game and was shown on ESPN while the ESPN announcers talked about him. He’s suing Major League Baseball Advanced Media, ESPN New York, the New York Yankees and announcers Dan Shulman and John Kruk for $ 10 million in damages for defamation and intentional infliction of emotional distress.

The best part is that the guy’s lawsuit claims that Kruk and Shulman “unleashed avalanche of disparaging words” like “stupor, fatty, unintelligent, stupid.” Kruk and Shulman said nothing remotely like that about the guy, so one is left to assume that it might just be possible that the guy already sees himself that way.

The guy was subject to some mockery on Twitter for his size and the fact that he fell asleep at a baseball game, but the only reason anyone knows anything about him is that he filed the lawsuit; otherwise no one would have cared for more than three seconds about him and the 15 stupid tweets that made fun of him.

But that guy’s emotional distress is apparently worth $ 10 million, and the annoying thing is that the rest of us are a little envious of that guy because in our messed-up legal system, he actually has a chance of getting that money. And then he actually has a chance of getting easy, easy chicks for free.

Oh, and by the way, if you’re not getting your chicks for free, it’s called prostitution, and it’s usually illegal. I’m just saying.

The other story that got me thinking of money for nothing involved a guy in Ohio who created a Kickstarter page jokingly seeking $ 10 to pay for his first attempt at making potato salad. For some reason, more than 5,000 people around the world have decided that they really need to give the guy money so he can make a potato salad. As of this writing, the guy had raised $ 43,057.

To his credit, and because he’s apparently a much better person than I am, the man is considering throwing a huge, public potato-salad party for the people of Columbus. If it were me, I would have taken the money, made one potato salad and then never made potato salad again, because I don’t really like potato salad. I consider it the lowest form of potato-based food product.

Anyway, the guy’s dumb potato-salad thing got me thinking of ways that I could get people to give me money through Kickstarter, but then I realized I’d have to create an account, make a page and do some other stuff, which is something, meaning I wouldn’t really be getting money for nothing.

I eventually will figure out a way to get my money for nothing, but in the meantime I think I’ve figured out a way to get money for doing something really easy, and I have Dire Straits to thank for it.

Some of the hardworking jobs about which Mark Knopfler sang, like moving refrigerators and color TVs, would be awful, but there’s one job I think I actually could do. I think I could be a microwave installer.

Mind you, I won’t move microwave ovens, which is an entirely different job, but if you have a microwave oven in place and you need it installed, I will gladly come and plug it in for you for $ 350 plus expenses.

I believe microwave installation is going to be a real growth industry, but it was never my dream. No, my dream was to play the guitar on the MTV — or at least bang on the bongos like a chimpanzee — but it’s been decades since anybody did that.

Todd Hartley says McDonald’s hash browns are the highest form of potatoes. To read more or leave a comment, please visit zerobudget.net.
Comedy – The Huffington Post
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8 Things I've Learned From My Wife in Our First Month of Marriage

Not all problems need solving, but if they do, fro-yo’s a great first step.
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8 Things I’ve Learned From My Wife in Our First Month of Marriage

Not all problems need solving, but if they do, fro-yo’s a great first step.
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10 Life Lessons You Learned From ‘90s Sitcoms

“Next, on a very special episode of …”
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