Tiffany Haddish Says She’s Learned Valuable Lessons from Bombing in Miami

[[tmz:video id=”1_17de1e0u”]] Tiffany Haddish has found several silver linings to bombing her NYE show in Miami — the most importantly … she needs more sleep, and less South Beach. Tiff was out Wednesday in L.A. when a photog asked her what went…

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Barnwell: No team is one player away, and more lessons from 2018

One important lesson: Turns out Kirk Cousins wasn’t the Vikings’ immediate fix. Here’s what 2018 can teach us about what’s to come next season.
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Lessons from a Lady – Syndee Winters

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Lessons from a Lady

Syndee Winters

Genre: Jazz

Price: $ 8.99

Release Date: December 6, 2018

© ℗ 2018 444

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100 Years of Nine Lessons & Carols – Stephen Cleobury, Choir of King’s College, Cambridge, Sir David Willcocks & Philip Ledger

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100 Years of Nine Lessons & Carols

Stephen Cleobury, Choir of King’s College, Cambridge, Sir David Willcocks & Philip Ledger

Genre: Classical

Price: $ 13.99

Release Date: November 9, 2018

© ℗ 2018 King’s College, Cambridge

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The Bill Murray Stories: Life Lessons Learned from a Mythical Man – Tommy Avallone

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The Bill Murray Stories: Life Lessons Learned from a Mythical Man

Tommy Avallone

Genre: Documentary

Price: $ 12.99

Rental Price: $ 4.99

Release Date: October 25, 2018


The documentary follows one man's journey to find meaning in Bill Murray's many unexpected adventures with everyday people. Featuring rare and never-before seen footage of the comedic icon participating in stories previously presumed to be urban legend. Whether it be singing karaoke late at night with strangers or crashing a kickball game in the middle of the afternoon, Bill Murray lives in the moment and by doing so, creates magic with real people.

© © 2018 Believable Grin Movie LLC

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Live Right and Find Happiness (Although Beer is Much Faster): Life Lessons from Dave Barry (Unabridged) – Dave Barry

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Live Right and Find Happiness (Although Beer is Much Faster): Life Lessons from Dave Barry (Unabridged)

Dave Barry

Genre: Comedy

Price: $ 14.95

Publish Date: March 3, 2015

© ℗ © 2015 Recorded Books

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Week 2 lessons: Will the Josh Gordon lottery ticket pay off?

The concept of Gordon rediscovering his dominant form is thrilling, but his history says it would be foolish to expect it. Plus: Where’s Dez?
www.espn.com – NFL

Piano Lessons – Bennett Lamplot

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Piano Lessons

Bennett Lamplot

Genre: Music

Publish Date: November 9, 2016

Publisher: Bennett lamplot

Seller: Bennett Lamplot


Basic piano book that will accompany  my private studio students.

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Jazz Ballet Class Music: Ultimate Jazz Music & Ballet Dance Schools, Dance Lessons, Ballet Class, World Music Ballet Barre, Ballet Exercises & Jazz Ballet Moves – Ballet Dance Jazz J. Company

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Jazz Ballet Class Music: Ultimate Jazz Music & Ballet Dance Schools, Dance Lessons, Ballet Class, World Music Ballet Barre, Ballet Exercises & Jazz Ballet Moves

Ballet Dance Jazz J. Company

Genre: Instrumental

Price: $ 9.99

Release Date: September 14, 2012

© ℗ 2012 Winter Hill Records

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Will Smith Gets Salsa Lessons from Marc Anthony

Will Smith is no stranger to Miami, and now he’s no stranger to salsa dancing either … all thanks to Marc Anthony! Big Willie created his 100th Instagram post Sunday, featuring a video of himself getting salsa lessons in Miami from none…

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Three goats and the GOAT: Barnwell’s lessons of an improbable NFL final four

We knew Tom Brady would be here. But Case Keenum, Blake Bortles and Nick Foles? No way. There are lessons to be learned from each of the quarterbacks in the conference title games and how they got here.
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Giannis gets hard lessons from Kevin Durant

Giannis Antetokounmpo is becoming a star, but Friday’s game showed that he still has work to do before he’s considered at or near Kevin Durant’s level.
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Marketing Lessons: Everything Is New to Someone

More than six months has passed now since we added a little bundle of joy into our life (or as I prefer to call her, the cure for sleep!) Of course, I write this after a bad night where I only got about five hours sleep (and my wife got even less).
XBIZ.com – Opinion

Country Guitar Lessons with Audio & Video – Jody Worrell

Jody Worrell - Country Guitar Lessons with Audio & Video  artwork

Country Guitar Lessons with Audio & Video

Learn How to Play Twangy Lead Licks

Jody Worrell

Genre: Music

Publish Date: August 28, 2015

Publisher: Watch & Learn, Inc.

Seller: Watch & Learn, Inc.


Country Guitar Lessons by Jody Worrell is a multi-touch ebook that will teach you the basics of playing lead country guitar. You will learn the techniques and concepts that help create that distinctive twangy sound. Jody will provide detailed note by note instruction on how to play a variety of licks and then demonstrate them along with a rhythm track. The ebook contains HD video instruction and tablature along with full band audio jam tracks.

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Barnwell: Lessons from Case Keenum’s breakout, and the Vikings’ 2018 dilemma

The $ 2 million free-agent signing has been one of the NFL’s most efficient and effective quarterbacks, and he has the Vikings sitting at 9-2.
www.espn.com – NFL

Lesbian Lessons

Lesbian X is proud to present, Lesbian Lessons a celebration of beautiful women with unconstrained lesbian desire. Lesbian Lessons features an all star collection in fiery, intense girl/girl sex scenes! Including lessons with intense kissing, foreplay, and multiple orgasms this is unscripted lesbian lessons at its finest do not miss this lesbian x release!

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Stars: Jenna Sativa Alexis Fawx

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Scene Number: 2

Orientation: Straight

Studio Name: Lesbian X

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Spring 2018 Trend: Trench Lessons

Just when one thought every trenchcoat had been seen, designers fringe, corset and layer the outerwear favorite in all sorts of unexpected ways.

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America’s Army #14 – Decide to Lead PT. 2 : Lessons – M. Zachary Sherman, Robert Atkins, J Brown & Marshall Dillion

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America’s Army #14 – Decide to Lead PT. 2 : Lessons

M. Zachary Sherman, Robert Atkins, J Brown & Marshall Dillion

Genre: Graphic Novels

Publish Date: March 18, 2015

Publisher: IDW Publishing

Seller: Idea and Design Works, LLC


Being a strong leader is about dedication to the mission, taking care of the Soldiers under your command and keeping yourself strong mentally and physically. For 2LT Carter, learning this critical balance becomes essential when his team is ambushed in Afghanistan and Carter must take charge in the face of overwhelming odds in America's Army #14 – Decide to Lead PT. 2 : Lessons.

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Jazz Ballet Class Music: Ultimate Jazz Music & Ballet Dance Schools, Dance Lessons, Ballet Class, World Music Ballet Barre, Ballet Exercises & Jazz Ballet Moves – Ballet Dance Jazz J. Company

Ballet Dance Jazz J. Company - Jazz Ballet Class Music: Ultimate Jazz Music & Ballet Dance Schools, Dance Lessons, Ballet Class, World Music Ballet Barre, Ballet Exercises & Jazz Ballet Moves  artwork

Jazz Ballet Class Music: Ultimate Jazz Music & Ballet Dance Schools, Dance Lessons, Ballet Class, World Music Ballet Barre, Ballet Exercises & Jazz Ballet Moves

Ballet Dance Jazz J. Company

Genre: Instrumental

Price: $ 9.99

Release Date: September 14, 2012

© ℗ 2012 Winter Hill Records

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Music Theory for Guitar: Video Lessons for Beginners – Diana Prechter & Kent Cole

Diana Prechter & Kent Cole - Music Theory for Guitar: Video Lessons for Beginners  artwork

Music Theory for Guitar: Video Lessons for Beginners

Diana Prechter & Kent Cole

Genre: Music

Publish Date: April 17, 2012

Publisher: Get Go Press, Austin, TX

Seller: Sunshine & Wild Oats, Inc.


The guitar is a great instrument for people who'd like to get involved with music even if they've never had formal music education. You don't need to read music notation to play songs – you can learn a few chords visually and start playing. But you might have discovered that the next songs you want to play have chords that are "too hard." They might be too hard to make, or understand, or remember. Having a richer understanding of the fretboard, chord construction and scales can help you tackle more complex chords. Our goal is to teach you "just enough" music theory so that you can construct and deconstruct more complicated chords. It's a progressive education with each idea neatly building on the ones before it. Video lessons make this learning process pain-free and maybe even fun! We've included 65 minutes of video. The videos have pictures, diagrams, animations and a live teacher. The video is divided into 13 short lessons. Didn't quite catch something? Each chapter's text is the identical material that's in the video, with lots of pictures from the video, so you can review previous chapters or simply study at your own speed. What's covered: •Guitar Basics •The Major Scale •Roman Numerals (that's where we serve you pizza) •The Natural Minor Scale •Basic Terms •Chords: Major and Minor •Chord Syntax (our unique 4-column method) •The Terrain of the 6-String Guitar (visual intervals, moveable chords) •Chords with Added Notes (Cmaj7, C7, C9, Cm maj7, Cm7, Cm b5 7, Csus4, Cdim, Caug) •Scale Tone Chords (and transposing songs to new keys) Here are some things that you WON 'T have to do in this book. •You won't be playing along with a recording. •You won't be reading sheet music or tabs. •You won't be taught how to hold your guitar, strum your guitar, finger the chords, or any special plucking techniques. You WILL be learning principles of music theory and the guitar fretboard. Our goal is to give you knowledge and confidence to start playing more complex chords.

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Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Peta Murgatroyd’s Baby Boy Gets His First Dance Lessons From Uncle Val

Val Chmerkovskiy, ShaiIt’s never too early to put on your dancing shoes.
When Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Peta Murgatroyd welcomed their first child together, many fans wondered if baby Shai would receive any…


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Hard Lessons

Whether it’s in the bedroom or sprawled across a desk, these twinks are about to get a hard lesson in love! It’s a delight to watch as smooth bodies come together for a passionate dick-down that leaves everyone spent and satisfied. They start slow and sultry with amorous kissing and wandering hands that glide effortless over toned pecs, seeking out hard nipples before heading south over muscled abs to grasp the rock hard cock that bobs provocatively and yearns to be touched. The action kicks up a notch as mouths envelope the hardness, spit-lubing and greasing it up for an fast and hard ride. Nearly two hours of bareback butt fucking, creamy holes and delicious cum explosions.

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Whether it’s in the bedroom or sprawled across a desk, these twinks are about to get a hard lesson in love!

Stars: Jaxon Radoc Milan Sharp

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Studio Name: Bareback Rookies

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I Can’t Make This Up: Life Lessons (Unabridged) – Kevin Hart & Neil Strauss – contributor

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I Can’t Make This Up: Life Lessons (Unabridged)

Kevin Hart & Neil Strauss – contributor

Genre: Comedy

Price: $ 25.95

Publish Date: June 6, 2017

© ℗ © 2017 Audible Studios

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10 Lessons I Learned About Infidelity After Being Cheated On

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Finding out you have been cheated on sucks. No matter how marvelous, monotonous, or miserable you thought your marriage was, discovering the person you trusted most has betrayed you is like being sucker punched by Mike Tyson at church on Sunday.

Not only did my husband cheat, he also left me for his mistress and married her a little more than three years later which was just a few short months ago. They are now expecting their first child.

Sure, this would be a lot for any jilted spouse to absorb. In my case, I met my husband when I was 15, married at 22, and was separated by the time I was 39. Marriage was all I knew and suddenly becoming single in middle age was a lot to wrap my brain around. Sometimes, I admit, I still catch myself wondering how in the world this happened to me – to us – and why.

But there are reasons. And lasting effects.

Three years has provided me with ample opportunity to reflect on how infidelity has impacted my life and what I have learned from the experience, even though I am humble enough to know I am still learning. Here are my takeaways as of today.

1. Infidelity has little to do with appearance, money, education, or social status. Yours or the person with whom your spouse cheats. While I was married I was one of many onlookers who would make snap judgments about why someone else’s spouse was unfaithful. I never failed to weigh in when the husband of a friend left his wife for someone who was less attractive, less successful, less educated, and less respected in the community than she. Or vice versa. What I learned is none of these things matter. What matters is how we each feel in our partner’s company. Anything else takes a distant second place.

2. Infidelity is not your fault. Cheating is an act. When your spouse cheats it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him or her. Cheating is a unilateral decision, a choice your spouse made without you. Your spouse could just as easily have made the choice to leave your marriage without betraying you first. His or her behavior is not a reflection of you, only of himself or herself.

3. But your marital problems are. To varying degrees. Sorry, but it’s true. I am always skeptical whenever I hear someone attribute the breakdown of a marriage entirely to his or her spouse, especially in those cases where one spouse was unfaithful. “I was the perfect wife.” “I was the greatest husband.” No, you weren’t. Nobody is all of those things all of the time even when a marriage is strong.

4. Infidelity changes you. The key is to make sure those changes become positive forces in your life, ones that make you wiser and stronger in your future relationships. Maybe you are more distrustful now. It’s understandable. But if that distrust begets more open communication with a new partner by inspiring you to ask questions rather than accept “bad behavior” at face value, you are giving yourself the respect you deserve. It’s up to you to show the world how you want and expect to be treated. If someone is not giving you respect, walk.

5. But not entirely. Meaning no one can take from you what you aren’t willing to give away. When someone doesn’t value you it doesn’t mean you don’t have value. My mother has a cousin whose first husband treated her badly. After being married to her second husband for some time, she was surprised to discover that everything her first husband said she did wrong her second husband said she did right! Remember who you are and rejoice in it. Guaranteed if you do someone else will, too.

6. If your spouse wants to leave, let him or her go. When my husband told me he was leaving I dropped to my knees and begged him to stay, to which he responded that HE would give ME one more week to become a “better wife” (translation: give up my autonomy and self-respect, what little I had left). He also agreed to have no contact with his mistress during that time, a promise I later learned he didn’t keep (thank you, Verizon). My husband never wanted or intended to stay which meant he had nothing to lose by negotiating with me. My weakened bargaining position, however, meant I did. The point is if both partners aren’t dedicated to repairing the marriage, the marriage cannot be repaired. Your spouse wants to leave? A friendly reminder to not to let the door hit him or her on the ass is actually more than he or she deserves.

7. It’s okay to forgive your spouse. Even if your spouse doesn’t believe or acknowledge he or she did anything wrong and doesn’t need or want your forgiveness. I forgave my ex-husband because it enabled me to move on. True forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves when we are ready and willing to give it, if ever.

8. It’s okay not to. For that repentant spouse who shows up out of the clear blue begging for your forgiveness so he or she can move on, remember you don’t owe anybody anything. Only yourself. Take as much time, even if it’s a lifetime, to heal. You are worth it. Anyone who truly values your forgiveness will wait for it.

9. Not everyone cheats. Nowadays cheating is rampant and it’s easy to become jaded as you hear more and more stories of infidelity. But it’s important to remember that not everyone cheats. Nothing is more unattractive than bashing an entire sex based on the behavior of some or even one. To combat such temptation choose a couple you know, the couple who enjoys or enjoyed the relationship you aspire to have and deserve to have one day, and make them your role model. For me, that couple remains my late grandparents. Whenever I get down in the dumps and think a healthy relationship isn’t possible, I remind myself how my very own grandmother and grandfather remained devoted to each other for nearly 60 years!

10. It’s better to be alone than to be cheated on. I was recently speaking with my ex-husband’s sister at a birthday dinner my ex-husband hosted for our daughter. His sister and I hadn’t spoken in years and while chatting with her about how challenging dating in today’s “hookup” culture can be, she quipped that in hindsight her brother must not look so bad to me now. I couldn’t disagree more and told her so (with him in earshot). Though I have endured my share of lonely nights and bad date nights in between, being with a man, whether my ex or someone new, who thinks so little of me that he could be unfaithful is simply not acceptable. After being cheated on, it’s not that I now expect more from any man who comes into my life. It’s that I no longer accept less.

Visit Stacey at WriteOnTrackLLC.com or follow her on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn and DivorcedMoms.com.

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Red hot Rebel Wilson! 6 style lessons we’ve learned from the star

Rebel Wilson’s new Torrid line proves she’s quite the fashionista. Over the years, she’s taught us a thing or two when it comes to style.


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5 Lessons Learned at the IWMF’s Courage in Journalism Awards


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6 Surprising Lessons From Makeup Artist Lisa Eldridge’s New Beauty Book

lisa eldridge book

Today, Lisa Eldridge, the London-based makeup artist and YouTube sensation, is releasing her first book, Face Paint: The Story of Makeup (Abrams Image), a meditation on the history of cosmetics and the women who wore it best. Beginning with caches of red ochre found in South African caves, which were used as prehistoric makeup, Face Paint takes us through the ancient origins of modern trends—a bold red lip, a slick of black liner—and connects them back to beauty’s present landscape. From the invention of the world’s first mascara to the backstory behind Lauren Hutton’s famous gap-toothed grin, here are six surprising things we learned from the book that have us feeling inspired to dive into our beauty kits.

1. In Ancient Greece, around 800 B.C., Athenian women mixed burned cork, antimony, and soot to concoct a simple brow powder, used to thicken their arches and create the appearance of a unibrow. (The Romans also favored the singular style.) Centuries later, around 1917, New Yorker T. L. Williams purportedly caught his sister Mabel mixing burned cork with petroleum jelly to darken her lashes, which inspired him to launch Lash-Brow-Ine—one of the first mascaras—and his iconic beauty company, Maybelline. Rumor has it that the mascara helped Mabel win her boyfriend back.



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2. From the 1500s, French women began carrying gilded tins filled with mouches, small black patches used to ornament their faces and conceal blemishes—think Marie Antoinette and the 18th-century court of Versailles. Made from silk, velvet, satin, or taffeta in heart or circle shapes, their placement was coded: Right cheek meant married; left, engaged. Mistresses wore one by the corner of the eye, while a mouche near the mouth showed you were single.

3. Around 1902, Helena Rubinstein launched her famous Crème Valaze in Australia with the claim that one Dr. Lykusky had concocted the cream with herbs grown in the Carpathian mountains. Years later, she revealed the true recipe to her secretary: mineral oil, vegetable oil, and lanolin, which she scented with pine bark, water lilies, and lavender. Ten pennies procured all the ingredients, but Helena charged 7 shillings and 7 pence because, in her own words, “Women won’t buy anything that cheap!”



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4. Though Ancient Egyptian murals had depicted men and women in thick black liner—and archaeologists had found carved ivory cases with burned almond kohl in burial tombs—it was the 1912 discovery of Nefertiti’s bust that brought the exaggerated cat-eye back to life. With the discovery of Tutankhamen’s tomb in 1923 and the first public exhibition of the limestone-and-stucco head a year later, Egyptomania gripped the world. Elizabeth Taylor’s iconic portrayal of Cleopatra in 1963 only sealed the deal, and dark eye makeup has stayed in style ever since.



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Photo: Getty Images

5. Discovered by Vogue editor Diana Vreeland, a young Lauren Hutton started modeling for Richard Avedon and Irving Penn in the mid-’60s. Hutton would do her own makeup for shoots, and initially tried to hide the gap in her teeth with mortician’s wax and a cap, which kept falling out. Quickly, she learned to embrace her crooked smile, which helped her secure a record 27 Vogue covers, a landmark modeling contract with Revlon, and paved the way for many winning gap-toothed girls—Lara Stone, Georgia May Jagger—to come.

6. Fashion designer Barbara Hulanicki’s Biba label began selling Technicolor makeup in 1970, revolutionizing the decade’s look with blush, shadows, and face glosses in a staggering range of trippy colors, from acid blue to mustard yellow to shimmering copper. Not surprisingly, David Bowie and his alter ego, Ziggy Stardust, were reportedly fans. At the time, the factory couldn’t believe Hulanicki’s requested colors—but then her first brown lipstick sold out in 30 minutes. Two years later, Hulanicki further broadened the beauty boundaries when she debuted the first makeup range designed for women with darker skin. Needless to say, the rest is beauty history.

 

 

The post 6 Surprising Lessons From Makeup Artist Lisa Eldridge’s New Beauty Book appeared first on Vogue.

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Blues Guitar Lessons – Jody Worrell & Peter Vogl

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Blues Guitar Lessons

Learn How to Play Blues Guitar Licks and Scales with Video and Tabs

Jody Worrell & Peter Vogl

Genre: Music

Publish Date: April 30, 2013

Publisher: Watch & Learn, Inc.

Seller: Watch & Learn, Inc.


The Blues Guitar Lessons ebook features guitar lessons by Jody Worrell and Peter Vogl.  You will learn how to play blues guitar licks, pentatonic scales, blues scales, and a variety of techniques.  Each segment is taught with step by step video instruction and demonstrated along with an audio jam track.  You can also refer to the included tabs for help.  The lessons included in this course are Stevie Ray Vaughan Style Lick, Eric Clapton Style Lick, Am Pentatonic Licks, F Blues Licks, and E Minor & Major Pentatonic Licks.

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Beginner Guitar Lessons – Marty Schwartz

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Beginner Guitar Lessons

Marty Schwartz

Genre: Music

Publish Date: October 15, 2012

Publisher: GuitarJamz Inc

Seller: Guitar Jamz Inc


Playing guitar is way easier than you think!  I'm not just saying that — between pro gigs I taught guitar privately, and after a few years I stumbled upon a unique system that allows anyone at any level to make huge, immediate leaps, even if you've never held a guitar before. Don’t listen to anyone who tries to tell you that you need “musical talent” or “natural rhythm” to master the guitar. It’s nonsense! When you follow the simple steps in this book, you'll be able to play complete songs for your friends or anyone else and you'll do it quickly! Here’s what you will find in this book: 1. How to shave off hours of practice time and retain more of what you learned (This is the holy grail of muscle memory — crucial to rapid mastery.) 2. Easily learn arpeggios & palm muting, allowing you to create your own "magical sound." 3. Discover amazing bar chord * techniques for a "fuller" sound an added dimension to your songs.

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Lessons In Anal And Other Stories

Lessons In Anal And Other Stories

Watch Miss Marie teach her step-daughter and BFF the best method of birth control, lesbian anal sex, before following up with her step-daughter for a second private lesson.

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Lessons From A Legend: N.O. Joe

N.O. Joe is a twenty-plus year veteran behind the boards in Hip-Hop and R&B, and has undoubtedly produced songs that have been played to the point of a cassette popping, a CD scratching, or earning a spot on a digital “favorites” playlist.  His work with, among others, Scarface, UGK, Lil’ Wayne, Rick Ross, The Luniz, Ice Cube, Brian McKnight, Geto Boys, Jodeci, and D’Angelo have allowed him to develop rich soundscapes which don’t just transcend southern rap, but all of Hip-Hop.  He even helped with the use of the Geto Boys’ music in the cult comedy Office Space, and was even nominated for an Emmy when Family Guy spoofed it and he did the same thing in the classic episode, “I Dream of Jesus.”  His gumbo funk sound (“it’s a collage of different genres of music to create one great body of work”) has allowed him to be one of music’s best chameleons and artists and fans have been reaping the rewards of his talents for decades.

Joe “N.O. Joe” Johnson was born in New Orleans, Louisiana,  but his triple threat capabilities of production, songwriting, and rapping took him to New York in the early stages of his career.  When he returned home below the Mason Dixon line, he helped pioneer a sound that everyone from Dr. Dre to The Dungeon N.O. Allhiphop pic 1Family has drawn inspiration from.  And with the recent releases of Scarface’s Deeply Rooted and Travis Scott’s Rodeo (two artists that are very different, but ones that Joe has worked with nonetheless), N.O. Joe took time out of his busy schedule to chop it up about his storied career and look back on a truly monumental catalogue of classic tunes and great connections.

When speaking with him, I quickly realized that he’s one of the humblest people around.  He doesn’t want to kick knowledge to leave his contemporaries in the dust, but rather to provide guidance for the those ahead of him to continue to help push music forward.

In this installment of AllHipHop’s “Lessons From a Legend” series, N.O. Joe talks playing chess with music instead of checkers, letting every artist be themselves, and how he gave Hip-Hop some much needed soul.

The term “your favorite rapper’s favorite rapper” has been used to categorize a few elite emcees, and N.O. Joe is the production equivalent of it.  Even though he might not be a household name, he is definitely one of “your favorite producer’s favorite producers.”

Here are some of the reasons why!

Lesson 1: Stay Ahead of the Curve

AllHipHop: As far as I’m concerned, you were the first producer to incorporate the church organ into Hip-Hop beats.  How did the idea to that first come about?

N.O. Joe: Yes.  The B3 organ to be exact.  That instrument is so soulful, bro.  When we were in church, just one thing would be playing and it’d be that organ.  It filled up the church with emotions.  So I wanted to take that same soulful organ and incorporate into Hip-Hop in some kind of way to make it gut-bucket soulful Hip-Hop. The first artist I tried it on was an artist in New York named Mic Professor then the Geto Boys on Til Death Do Us Part.

You were also one of the early pioneers of those who dabbled with live instrumentation in rap music.

Actually, on Til Death Do Us Part, there’s a live version in the Rap-A-Lot vault somewhere.  We of course recorded the kind of sample version, but I wanted to take the next step.  Let’s play this stuff live.  It was voted out [laughs], and within the next year Dr. Dre came out and he had a lot of live playing on his.  And that when the eyes opened like, “Wow.”  We had a live album and didn’t put it out.  I always like to move in advance; I like to stay ahead of the curve.  As long as the artists give me my freedom, I can move everything to the next level.  But I understand that it’s a lot of money on the line to experiment.

Do you think staying ahead of the curve has helped you change with the times? Some veteran artists just kind of stay in the era when they were at their peak.  And even if it’s dope, it still sounds dated.  But you’ve worked with Travis Scott too.

Absolutely! I’ve always stayed in tuned because I love what’s new and innovative sound wise.  I like to take new sounds and implement them seamlessly into classic s**t.  I would partially credit a group called The Classmates that I produced in 2010 which included Spuf Don and Travis Scott for us bridging the music together making it more youthful and that’s what Spuf Don and I are doing on Spuf’s new project as well.  People slept on Spuf and Travis because it was ahead of it’s time and I’m glad Kanye and T.I.P saw what I saw.  On the new Scarface Deeply Rooted, 22 year old Spuf Don co-produced three records.  He’s been seeing me produce for Scarface for a minute and was a Scarface fan, so that’s why he was able to help keep the youthful part of it authentic.  When producing different artists, I always like to get into the artist’s mind and with Travis Scott gaining the attention grabbing the number 3 spot on billboard and Scarface 20 years plus still at the top of billboard on his new release.  It lets me know I was on to something, so be on the look out for Spuf Don coming up this month.

Lesson 2: Let Everyone Excel in Their Own Lanes

[With Deeply Rooted], I did 10 tracks and help formulate the album with Face.  In theory we went back to the mind set of The Diary where he let me have a lot of creative control.  I think that’s what made it easier for us he also brought a lot of great ideas to the table.  I was able to execute some of those ideas he brought and take them to the next level.  Everybody stayed in their own lane and I think that’s why the album came out the way that it did (classic). I actually played a lot of keyboards throughout the album and bass on “Anything” but my hat goes off to the real players who contributed to the record, those guys are professionals and spend years in their craft so I give them the utmost respect.

With that seven year gap since Emeritus, I wondered how this was gonna sound?

Some of the records he had in his head for a while, but most of them came just prior to the release.

Lesson 3: Have a Passion for the Music First and Foremost

I met Face in New Orleans.  I was actually doing music for Face without even knowing him.  A friend of mine hit me with Face’s solo record and it was just like this dude’s voice and the way he say stuff and how he said it.  And his lyrics were dope as Hell.  So I would start doing music catering to Scarface never knowing if I’d meet him.  It just so happened I was going to a record store in New Orleans and I met up with Big Mellow, Rest in Peace, Face’s friend.  I asked Mellow, “Hey, is  that Scarface?”  He said, “yeah.”  I was like, “Man, can you come to the car real quick and listen to a couple things?  If you don’t like them, you don’t even have to go back in and tell him about it.”  I played him like 10 seconds of one of the records, and he said, “Wait!”  He went in and got Face.  I just kept playing him records.  We went to my house and I played records for him.  I was even pulling floppy discs all out of the closet and stuff.  Then he was like, “Man, I want you to produce my album.”

What album did that eventually become?

The first album I was supposed to work on is The World is Yours, Scarface’s second solo album, but they wanted me to work on the Geto Boys album because that was the next thing up to bat.  I was hired to do 4 or 5 songs on there, but of the 14 songs, I think I did 12.  I don’t know how the credits got mixed up on it, but they put everyone who was involved with the record in the credits.  And everyone was involved, but not everybody produced those records like that.  That’s when, on the next record, if you’ll notice, you’ll see a “$ ” or whatever by my name just to distinguish who did what.

Lesson 4: Inspiration Knows No Bounds

Subliminally, this is pretty much how it’s broken down – I gave the south its soul.  With the synths- that was kind of West Coast, the drums were kind of East Coast.  The bottom end was southern.  So when those things blended together perfectly, that’s why a lot of people like it.  The music was from the south, but you couldn’t say that it was southern music.  Even coming from down south where we wasn’t really up on the times, I had kind of an advantage because I started in New York and I was able to see a lot of things in New York that I could bring down south, but not have it have such a New York sound.

What did your experiences in New York teach you that you didn’t learn in the South?

The spirit, the love behind the music.  I remember when I was out there and playing keyboards (with instruments programmed into it), and they’d say, “I like the music, but can you take some of that s**t out of there?”  They taught me don’t put so much s**t in the track because where is he gonna rap?  That’s when I started shortening up a lot of stuff.  And I took a lot of stuff off the back end and gave it a great bassline.  Keep it simple and that’s the song.  They taught me that I didn’t have to use every instrument in my keyboard.

Lesson 5: There is No Right or Wrong, Just Different

What was it like working with the late, great Pimp C?

It was great working with him. I first came in with Pimp asking me to help Produce the Ridin’ Dirty album. It started by me producing four songs to us producing the entire album together. The way he would work… Pimp C would come in the studio and have a skeleton of a track and vocal and he would be like, “Man Joe, what do you think about this?”  And if I liked it, I’d tell him it’s a great start, but I think we need this here and this this there or nah don’t like it you can come colder and he would do the same”  Then he’d be like, “S**t, let’s work with it.”  Like we’ll have one song, I’d play him another track.  He’d go, “Oh, that’s dope” and have a hook right then and there.  Then I’d tell him to go lay it.  The beats playing, he’s writing his verse, and then Bun would come in, write his verse, and boom – we’re done with 2 or 3 songs. It’s crazy; the Ridin’ Dirty record was done in a few weeks.

The Odd Squad?

That was great.  Blind Rob and I produced the Fadanuf for Erybody record along with Carlos.  Hats off to Rob, man.  He had a lot of those old samples and dug up some soul stuff. He work the ASR10 better than me and he was blind what an incredible talent he is. I didn’t smoke, but it was like I smoked because everyday in that studio those dudes smoked me out, they were great to work with!  Devin is one of the funniest dude you’re gonna meet.  Everybody was just so creative during that record.  I had a great time working on it.  I wish it would’ve got more attention.

What would you say is the one beat that best defines your sound?

I’ll tell you like this, one of the styles was whatever instrument, whether it was the guitar or a bass or a synth part, they never got in the way of each other.  Everything has its own space and that’s my signature.  Just take (Scarface’s) “Never Seen a Man Die.”  That record didn’t have a hook in it, but that organ line.  It was like somebody singing a hymn in church.  And with the tone of Face’s voice, everything fit.  That’s a good example.  The way the beat rides; there was no long 808 kick drum in those records.  I wanted you to hear the bass line, but I gave you enough bump in your trunk to rattle your license plate.

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Filed under: Features, MOBILE Tagged: geto boys, Lessons from a Legend, N.O. Joe, rap-a-lot, Scarface, Spuf Don, Travis Scott
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Happy birthday, Gwen Stefani! 8 style lessons we’ve learned from the star

Gwen Stefani turns 46 on Saturday, and the superstar singer, entrepreneur, designer, and TV personality looks incredible for her age.


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A Beginner’s Guide to Vinyl Red Lips: Lessons From Backstage at Nina Ricci

Photographed by Kevin Tachman

What’s more French than a slick of red lipstick? At tonight’s Nina Ricci show, makeup artist Aaron de Mey supplied the answer by turning the volume up on the classic Gallic color using a high-shine finish that had a distinctively all-American reference point. “It’s Coca Cola red,” he said of the perfectly calibrated shade, which struck an exact balance between red and orange undertones, and had a vinyl finish that was “almost like car paint.”

If a glossy crimson mouth seems high maintenance, it doesn’t necessarily have to be. The key, says De Mey, is all in the prep, and an extra two minutes might be worth the time, should your beauty reference be “Romy Schneider, the morning after—she’s put on sunglasses and a red lip and gone out on the street again.” Because really, whose isn’t?

Here, our four step guide to recreating the look.

Step 1: De Mey started with a blue-based Serge Lutens lipstick, which is a “really, really gorgeous red,” by layering it in a highly pigmented coat over the entire mouth.

Step 2: Next, he made it matte by pressing a one-ply tissue over the lips and blotting a bit of translucent powder over top. “It will really lock the color on to give it more longevity and keeps the gloss from bleeding later.”

Step 3: Once the shape was set, De Mey adjusted the shape with a matching red lip pencil to sharpen the edges. Rather than lining and filling in the entire mouth, he says,  it fine tunes the borders only where needed for a lighter touch.

Step 4: Finally, just before models stepped onto the runway, De Mey and his team applied a glimmering tomato-red gloss, which read as reflective rather than glittery and canceled out the blue undertones of his base coat for a perfectly balanced hit of universally flattering crimson, which the makeup artist  described as “sparkling, perfect, and as luxurious as a fast car.” Enough said, in any language.

The post A Beginner’s Guide to Vinyl Red Lips: Lessons From Backstage at Nina Ricci appeared first on Vogue.

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Lessons In Love: 10 Essential Dating Questions

Someone once said “The best time to dig a well is before you get thirsty”. Sound advice that applies to the Dating, Love and Marriage World, insofar it is useful to hold some useful questions in mind as you go.
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Life Lessons From Cool Dads

Life Lessons From Cool Dads

Life Lessons From Cool Dads 2:05
We track down the coolest dads at the Chicago stop of the Oddball Fest and ask them to share their hard-earned wisdom.

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Porn Cares: Lessons for Giving to Charity

The decision whether or not your company should be active in a charitable way can be a complicated or simple one. It does not take a lot to support local or national charity in some way (even a couple hundred or thousand dollars a year), but it does take real dedication to a social mission to be consistently donating more or doing large sponsorships.
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Ben Savage turns 35: The life lessons we learned from Cory on ‘Boy Meets World’

It’s been 15 years since “Boy Meets World” ended its seven-season run, but that doesn’t mean the lessons a mid-20s millennial like myself learned from Cory and the gang have begun to fade.


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9 Beauty Lessons I Learned From Doing a Half Ironman

The Half Ironman triathlon is a race that consists of a 1.2-mile swim, a 56-mile bike, and a 13.1-mile run. Having now completed my training and the race, I’m able to look back with 20/20 beauty hindsight. Here’s what I learned.
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TIFF: Michael Moore Teaches America Lessons from Abroad at ‘Where to Invade Next’ Premiere


The U.S. military satire helped kick off the 10-day fest.

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‘The times I failed were the best lessons’: See Cindy Crawford’s inspiring advice

There’s no doubt that as a model and actress, Cindy Crawford’s life is a glamorous one. But it hasn’t always been an easy one.


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16 Love Lessons Women Wish They Could Tell Their Younger Selves

You can’t change the mistakes you made for love in the past: There’s no way to go back and skip that first date with an ex who was bad news from the start. And there’s no way to tell the younger version of yourself to slow down and stop jumping from relationship to relationship. 

The good news is, you can learn from those mistakes. Just ask HuffPost Divorce readersBelow, our followers on Facebook reflect on the hard-won love and relationship lessons they would pass on to their twenty-something selves.

1. “Don’t settle just because you desperately want to have that ideal life with a husband and kids and home. Trust your gut. People most likely won’t change.” — Erin Rockford

2. ”Don’t look for self-validation through the eyes of others.” — Espléndida Mariposa

3. ”You set the tone of your relationship while you’re dating. If you’re always the one to sacrifice while you’re dating you’ll always be the one to sacrifice when you’re married.” — Christina Rodriguez 

4.

5.  “Never change yourself for the benefit of a man. If he loves you, he’ll love you for who and what you are.” – Wendy Chavez

6. “Enjoy your youth, travel, have friends but don’t commit to one love until you have lived some. Just finishing college is not enough living.” — Erin Rockford  

7.  “Don’t get married just because you’re sick of dating!” – Sarah Hoyle

8. “If he treats the waiter like s**t on your dates, run for the hills.”  – Lisa Thomson

9. “Don’t waste years of your life on something you know is a sinking ship. You can never get that time back.” – Cara Leigh 

 10. 

11. “If your gut says, ‘Run! Run! Run!’ then don’t think twice — hightail it out of there and don’t look back!”  – Kimberly Ann 

 12. ”Don’t be in such a big hurry to find a man and get married. Go ahead and accept your employer’s offer of free tuition so you can be a dye lab technician. Earn a decent wage, travel around, do the fun things you once dreamed of doing. If he really loves you, he will wait; if he really loves you, he will respect you as a smart and educated woman.” – M. Evelyn Wake  

13. “Don’t settle. There will be someone better that comes along. You will not be alone forever and if you are, it will be so much better than spending eternity with someone who can never love you.” –  Jillian Therese Godschild 

14.

15. ”Follow your heart and instincts, not what everyone else says is ‘right.’ Also, recognize when he’s just not that into you. (My God, I wish that book had been out back then — it would have saved me a lot of heartache!)” — Susan O’Brien

16. “Don’t be so anxious. The right one will come along. Even if it takes another 28 years and he still hasn’t shown up yet, keep the faith.” — Carla Kempert  

 

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Country Guitar Lessons with Audio & Video – Jody Worrell

Jody Worrell - Country Guitar Lessons with Audio & Video  artwork

Country Guitar Lessons with Audio & Video

Learn How to Play Twangy Lead Licks

Jody Worrell

Genre: Music

Publish Date: August 28, 2015

Publisher: Watch & Learn, Inc.

Seller: Watch & Learn, Inc.


Country Guitar Lessons by Jody Worrell is a multi-touch ebook that will teach you the basics of playing lead country guitar. You will learn the techniques and concepts that help create that distinctive twangy sound. Jody will provide detailed note by note instruction on how to play a variety of licks and then demonstrate them along with a rhythm track. The ebook contains HD video instruction and tablature along with full band audio jam tracks.

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Mother-Daughter Lesbian Lessons #5

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Mother knows best, especially when it comes to loving another woman!

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7 Life Lessons My 2nd Husband Taught Me

Looking back 10 years, I’ve realized that I’ve hardly changed at all, but my outlook on life and my attitude has. When I consider what’s brought about these dramatic changes from my 20s to my 30s, I see one common denominator. My second, and current, and hopefully last husband.

To him, these lessons are normal, he’s grown up believing each one which is, of course, a homage to his parents. I do think there are others who could benefit from the life lessons he’s taught me.

1. Disagreements Aren’t Offensive

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I used to think that if I disagreed with a person that I was, in essence, starting an argument. Unless I particularly wanted to air my views, which I did in quite a few corker blowouts, I would plod through life simply nodding along. When my husband first disagreed with me, I thought he was being insulting. He wasn’t, he just had a different opinion and wanted to be honest about it.
It’s taken a while, but it is refreshing to be able to disagree and then try and find a middle ground. I’ve also accepted that there are some areas of life we’ll never agree on and that’s okay.

2. Life Is Exciting Without Drama

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I grew up surrounded by people who loved drama. They would embellish stories for entertainment and thrive off another’s crisis. Along with this, in my first marriage I’d become used to the roller coaster of emotions on a day to day basis. I naively thought this was excitement, that without it life would be dull. The drama would stop me having to think for long periods of time and sometimes there was good within the bad.

My husband taught me that life doesn’t need drama to be exciting. I don’t need to be exciting to be interesting. Every day is its own reward and the simple pleasures of watching the kids grow up and sharing time together are more than enough.

3. We All Deserve to be Happy

I used to believe that I didn’t deserve to be happy. I’d made many mistakes growing up and the abuse and heartache I suffered was my just desserts. I actually felt comfortable dealing with problems as it felt right somehow, and when happiness was offered I kept looking for the catch. I even developed panic attacks as I awaited the crisis that would inevitably occur. My husband had a very uneventful childhood and taught me that everyone deserves to be happy, but more than that, he showed me that it can, in some circumstances, be achieved simply by believing you do deserve it.

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4. If it Makes You Uncomfortable, You Don’t Have to Do It

I’ve always been a people pleaser. I would always put others first while sacrificing my own happiness. My husband has made realize that my happiness is worth just as much as those in our social circle.

Now, if I feel a situation will make me uncomfortable I simply say no. My time off is precious and I love spending it with my family, life’s too short for pretense, I don’t care how boring that makes me.

5. Beauty Is Only Skin Deep

In my first marriage, I saved for plastic surgery. I always felt ugly and old (at 26) compared to glamorous women on the TV. When my husband moved in I prepared myself for those negative feelings to return with gusto. It didn’t happen and now six years later, I can agree about gorgeous looking women, without worrying that my husband is looking out for the greener grass on the other side of the fence. As he says, “I can appreciate someone’s beauty but that’s all it is, it doesn’t go deeper than that as I’ve no need for it to.”

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6. Jealousy Is a Selfish Emotion

I used to think jealousy was a sign of love. If someone was jealous, they were afraid of losing me. Eventually though, his jealousy in some relationships suffocated me and I’d be afraid to have eye contact with the postman. My current husband showed me that jealousy is a selfish emotion. Just because you feel it, it doesn’t mean you have to act on it, in fact, if you do, it can damage the trust between you. I know my husband occasionally feels jealous but he rarely shows it, as he believes this is his problem and I shouldn’t suffer for it.

I used to think that making a partner jealous was a good trick for keeping them on their toes. I only tried it with my husband once, and when he said, “I don’t understand why you’d want to hurt me like that if you love me,” I quickly stopped the silly games, feeling quite ashamed!

7. Surround Yourself With People Worthy of You

I had many friends who would take advantage of the good nature I used to have. I spent a lot of time just doing favor after favor and I thought that this was friendship. I was lonely and craved adult company. These friends started to resent me as my career took off, and the requests for hand-outs became bigger. I felt guilty that I earned more than them, and often left myself broke. Then a person I met online told me that I didn’t deserve this treatment. Like withdrawal from a drug, as soon as I cleaned my life of the bad, good would follow. That’s what I did and although I lost those friends, I met my husband and I’ve never spent time with those who take advantage in any way since.

I think, in summary, my husband has simply shown me how to grow up!

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Divorce – The Huffington Post

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On Being True to Ourselves: Lessons From My Daughter

My amazing, incredible and world traveling daughter finally came home last week after a month in Amsterdam. She called her time in the CISV village “the most amazing experience of my life.” She arrived exhausted, animated and changed. She talked non-stop, except to sleep, about the amazing friends, adventures and life lessons she’d had. Despite my being the adult, she is my hero. Her thirst for learning, her openness, her kind and gentle nature, her willingness to be vulnerable — all a gift. Her response to the opportunity to meet kids from all over the world and live together in a community of their own for a month was so enthusiastic, it was contagious. I was envious of her journey.

In the yearbook she returned with, so many of her friends, leaders and staff commented about her comfort in her own skin, her big ideas, her open mind and giant heart. Reading those notes was so emotional for me. I was so proud and also in such awe. I take very little credit for the person she is, which is very much her own doing. I know we are pretty good parents and get close to 50 percent of it right, close to 50 percent of the time. But she, she is all her own.

I was reminded however, that it was the same spirit in me that forced me to see how much of myself I had lost in my marriage. How squelched we can become when trying to please someone else’s ideal of how we “should be.” I was reminded that I had no one to blame for that but me. In any relationship there is give and take. There is compromise. All of that is necessary and good, but when we compromise ourselves, our very core and our very being, that is when it is no longer healthy. THAT is when we have to pay attention to the inner voice that looks in the mirror and barely recognizes our reflection.

Marriage, like any relationship, is hard. Being true to ourselves is even harder. My daughter is my hero because even as she enters the cruel world of tweendom, she stays the course. I’m smart enough to know this might not always be the case. Middle School and High School are other-worldly planets where the rules seem to change daily. Puberty and hormones often take over and cut down self-confidence and ability to be ones true self. Acceptance often rules over self-worth. I remember. I recall exactly when I went from believing (at 10) I owned the world to realizing (at 13) it owned me. I also know that I will fight damn hard to help her stay true to her amazing spirit. I know that I will prioritize that over grades, clothes, looks and even friends. All the while, thanking her for motivating me and inspiring me to remember my own.

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Neil Young Gives Meryl Streep Guitar Lessons

Neil Young gave Meryl Streep a few guitar lessons as the actress was prepping for her role in the film Ricki and the Flash. The film stars Streep as a grocery store clerk who’s an aspiring rock star by night. “Oh man, that’s fun,” Streep says in one online video as Young demonstrates some rocking guitar effects. “That’s because I turned everything all the way up.”
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10 Lessons My Divorce Taught Me About Lasting Love

I’ve learned a lot of lessons over the last 20 years since my divorce. It dawned on me recently that even though I didn’t have a divorce party (just wasn’t in the mood) it doesn’t mean that I can’t mark the 20th anniversary of my divorce in some way. So here it goes, my list of the 10 most important lessons I’ve learned in the last two decades:

1. Your partner is not going to change. In other words, you can’t change a cat into a dog. Love just isn’t enough to significantly alter a person’s basic nature and upbringing. For instance, if you fall in love with someone who is reserved and you need outward signs of affection to feel secure, you’ll feel chronically dissatisfied. Most likely, these differences will probably erode loving feelings over time and diminish positive interactions in your relationship.

2. Rather than trying to “fix” your partner, focus on improving your own life. Many people stay in dysfunctional relationships with the unconscious desire to change their partner and avoid dealing with their own issues. According to codependency and relationship expert, Ross Rosenberg, this pattern is common and couples often stay in highly dysfunctional relationships to their own detriment. Rosenberg notes, “The inherently dysfunctional “codependency dance” requires two opposite but distinctly balanced partners: the pleaser/fixer (codependent) and the taker/controller (narcissist).” Rather than investing your energy into fixing your partner, make a commitment to improve some of your undesirable traits – we’re all flawed in some way.

3. Opposites attract but usually don’t stay together. Rosenberg describes opposites as “human magnets” who are irresistibly pulled toward each other, not so much by their conscious decisions or intentions, but rather by their opposite “magnetic field.” He writes, “Such partners with complimentary magnetic roles are irresistibly drawn together and locked into a relationship that is nearly impossible to resist or break free of.” He posits that couples who are opposites are immune to breakups due to the amorous nature of their relationship magnetism – unless one partner moves in a healthier direction, and the other one doesn’t follow.

4. Avoid jumping into an intimate relationship too quickly. The idea here is to take it slow, really, really slow. Slowing down the pace of your relationship, regardless of the impulse many people feel to move things along quickly, will give you the opportunity to get to know your partner better. The odds of seeing the truth of the relationship increase when we take time to get to know someone, according to psychologist Kristin M. Davin, PsyD. She advises “many become sexually involved before they’re ready and potentially problematic issues get obscured until much later in the relationship. I see this all the time. Date. Talk. Really get to know each other.” In my case, I knew my ex for less than a year when we became engaged so I was blindsided by many of our differences.

5. Practice forgiveness. Forgiveness isn’t the same as condoning the hurt done to you but it will allow you to move forward with your life. Accept that people usually do the best they can and try to be more understanding. This doesn’t mean that you accept your partner’s hurtful actions. You simply come to a more realistic view and give them less power over you. In the future, if your relationship is basically healthy, develop a mindset of acceptance and forgiveness about daily disappointments. After all, none of us is perfect. Don’t let resentment impact you greatly and try to let go of small annoyances.

6. Sweeping things under the rug usually doesn’t reap good results. Communicate honestly about key issues in your relationship. Be sure to be forthcoming about your concerns. Express thoughts, feelings, and wishes in a respectful way. Resentment can build when couples bury hurt feelings, so be vulnerable and don’t allow upset feelings to fester. Challenge your beliefs and self-defeating thoughts about holding onto hurt feelings. When we listen to our partner’s side of the story and process it briefly with them, we no longer need to hold onto hurt feelings.

7. Take responsibility for your part in the conflict or dispute. One person’s ability to do this can change the dynamic of the relationship. Drs. Julie and John Gottman write: “one person’s response will literally change the brain waves of the other person.” Apologize to your partner when appropriate. This will validate their feelings and promote forgiveness and allow you both to move on. Love is not enough. Saying you’re sorry can heal a wound even when you didn’t hurt your partner’s feelings intentionally. Resentment builds over time if couples aren’t able to talk about hurt feelings that arise from unresolved grievances.

8. Develop a Hurt-Free Zone policy. This term coined by author David Akiva refers to a period when criticism is not allowed. Without it, couples usually feel less defensive thus hurt feelings and rejection dissolve. Akiva writes: “Your prime directive right now is to eliminate the most toxic negative communication and reduce intense negative emotions for 3 to 4 weeks.”

9. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. While self-sufficiency and autonomy can help you weather the storms of life, it can also rob you of true intimacy. For a relationship to be balanced, partners must be able to depend on one another and feel that they are needed and appreciated for the support they give. If you have been let down in the past, the prospect of needing someone can be frightening. Opening up to your partner can make you feel vulnerable and exposed but it is the most important ingredient of a trusting, intimate relationship. If you can’t be vulnerable with your partner, this is a red flag so pay attention!

10. Learn to trust your own judgment. If you find yourself saying things like “I knew things were awful and I should have ended it earlier” you may need to pay attention to your inner voice or intuition. Ending a relationship doesn’t make you a failure. Rather it probably means it just wasn’t the right one for you. According to Kristin M. Davin, PsyD. “we tend to ignore red flags because we want to be in a relationship. She posits “we put on our rose-colored glasses and off we go. Throw the glasses away and trust your gut.”

In sum, I don’t regret a moment of my past — or decision to get a divorce. But I’ll keep this list close at hand as a reminder of lessons learned. I hope it helps you move forward and find the kind of love that allows you to be your best self and embrace all that life has to offer!

Follow Terry Gaspard MSW, LICSW on Twitter, Facebook, and movingpastdivorce.com

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.




Divorce – The Huffington Post

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J. Alexander — Caitlyn Will Be a Bigger Fashion Icon than Kim, But She Needs Walking Lessons (VIDEO)

America’s Next Top Model star J. Alexander thinks Caitlyn Jenner will top Kim Kardashian in the fashion department by the end of the year, but walking is another story. Miss J. was shopping on Rodeo Drive in Bev Hills Friday…

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Secrets From the ‘Trainwreck’ Set: LeBron James Says No to Acting Lessons, Still Delivers


James appears alongside Amy Schumer and Bill Hader in the Judd Apatow-directed production.

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Hollywood Reporter

Lessons In Lexicology: Caitlyn Jenner

Lessons In Lexicology: Caitlyn Jenner

Lessons In Lexicology: Caitlyn Jenner 3:39
Jared Harris (Mad Men) educates an uninformed cisgendered couple how to avoid terminological transgressions when discussing Caitlyn Jenner.
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Happy Bastille Day! 10 Style Lessons Learned From Our Favorite French “It” Girls


Let’s be real: When it comes to fashion, the French know what’s up. To celebrate France’s national holiday on July 14, we’ve rounded up 10 French “It” girls who define what it means to be tres chic.


Style

Lessons In Licking

Jade Indica uses slave squirrel balls for Her enjoyment. Beginning in the bathroom as She prepares for Her date and moving to the dungeon, She keep his face occupied in Her gorgeous ass. In between tonguing Her and getting everything out that is dirty inside both Her holes, he is kept alert with an over the knee spanking and a turn in the CBT chair. Finally, screaming for release, Mistress Jade give him his monthly milking.

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Scene Number: 1

Orientation: Straight

Studio Name: Lakeview Entertainment

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Lady Lessons

At Web Young we love seeing fresh girls like Veronica Rodriguez, Sierra Nevadah and Aubrey Star experiment sexually for the first time. Nothing is more exciting than seeing these beautiful nubile ladies find their inner vixen. But when theyre seduced by experienced college girls at the same time, we cant look away. Web Young presents its first feature series starring college seductresses such as Lola Foxx, a tempting player with a knack for taking advantage of simple perks, Abby Cross who knows just how to lull her personal training clients into a sexual shock, and the stunning Charlotte Stokely who paraphrases the best textbooks around in her tutoring sessions to seduce her pupils into eating her perfect pussy. This trio has a running bet each year to see who can seduce the most teens. Watch as Charlotte hosts their guest of honor at the home of one of Lolas conquests. To watch as the winning girl shows her tutor and her friends why Charlotte is the best seductress, its one of those moments that youll wish was the highlight of your own first experiences. An original girlsway series.

Watch the Full Length, High Quality Movie!

Nothing is more exciting than seeing these beautiful nubile ladies find their inner vixen. But when they’re seduced by experienced college girls at the same time, we can’t look away.

Stars: Aidra Fox Aubrey Star Sierra Nevada Adriana Chechik Abby Cross Veronica Rodriguez Lola Foxx Charlotte Stokley

Categories: High Definition All Girl Gonzo Natural Breasts Lesbian

Scene Number: 2

Orientation: Straight

Studio Name: Web Young

Lesbian Pay Per View

Lessons in Music Form – Percy Goetschius

Percy Goetschius - Lessons in Music Form  artwork

Lessons in Music Form

Percy Goetschius

Genre: Music

Publish Date: January 1, 1943

Publisher: Public Domain

Seller: Public Domain


The present manual treats of the structural designs of musical composition, not of the styles or species of music. It undertakes the thorough explanation of each design or form, from the smallest to the largest; and such comparison as serves to demonstrate the principle of natural evolution, in the operation of which the entire system originates.

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4 Beauty Lessons from the Paris Couture Shows

Photographed by Kevin Tachman

From the razor-sharp bobs at Chanel to the return of ethereal waves at Dior, haute couture week offered a study in exquisitely beautiful contrasts.

The post 4 Beauty Lessons from the Paris Couture Shows appeared first on Vogue.

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Electric Guitar Lessons – Jody Worrell

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Electric Guitar Lessons

Learn How to Play Electric Guitar Licks and Scales with Video and Tabs

Jody Worrell

Genre: Music

Publish Date: October 23, 2014

Publisher: Watch & Learn, Inc.

Seller: Watch & Learn, Inc.


Electric Guitar Lessons by Jody Worrell is a multi-touch ebook that will teach you famous licks by Carlos Santana, David Gilmour, and Jimi Hendrix.  You will learn the timing, note selection, bends, and vibrato that all combine to create these legendary guitarist's unique phrasing. After the lead parts are taught, they will be demonstrated over a full band rhythm track. Each lick or phrase will then be traded back and forth. Jody will play it first and leave room for you to play immediately after. This ebook includes over 25 minutes of HD video instruction as well as audio practice tracks for each lesson.

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4 Valuable Post-Wedded Lessons I Learned From My Divorce

It wasn’t love at first sight and I didn’t get married young. After years of average dates, hot hookups, and bad breakups, I’d actually found The One. Our love grew out of a deep friendship, which I believed was the secret to a lasting marriage.

This love was forever…until it wasn’t.

The wedding day is one of the most coveted times of a woman’s life. But what happens when marriage memories get trampled on, along with your heart? What’s the best way to deal with these symbols of love and commitment to the future, which have lost their meaning?

Deal With the Dress.
When I moved out of our house, I left my Vera Wang wedding dress propped up in a windowed box in the guest room closet, conserved like a museum piece. I didn’t want to take this painful reminder of my “happily-ever-after” day. From wishful white gown to mournful black, Juicy Couture sweats with suitcases in hand, a bunch of boxes, and a few bits of furniture, I left my marriage behind to make a fresh start.

Maybe deep down I thought when my ex-husband cleaned out that closet after I left, he would see the dress and feel shame or remorse for his affair. Neither happened. I don’t know what ever happened to that dress, but I do know that I let my martyrdom get the best of me that day.

Whatever you do, deal with the dress. Donate it, sell it, or have a stellar “trash-the-dress” party. It’s yours to do with what you will. And you’ll feel better by having your say about what happens to it.

Put Your Ring On the Market.
I kept my engagement ring because I thought I could use the diamonds to make a necklace for our daughter’s 16th birthday. I put it in a box with her Halloween tiger costume, her baby booties, and several other mementos I thought she might want some day. Years later, I came across the Tiffany ring receipt in a jewelry box. At that moment, I decided that it would be better to just sell it. But when I opened that keepsake box and dug to the bottom, the ring was gone. As with my dress, I don’t know what happened to it. Yet another lost opportunity for closure.

Put your ring on the market. No matter how you rationalize it, there’s no good reason to hang on to love-tarnished diamonds. Put them to positive use instead.

Let Your Daughter Wear the Tiara.
I’d forgotten all about the tiara until my daughter had “crazy hair day” at school and found it, stuffed in the back of a drawer. “Oooh, can I use this?” she asked. I stared at the tiara, once perched on my head like I was a Disney princess. Now it looked like a piece of costume jewelry. In some ways, it had been part of a costume. “Sure,” I said. With her hair teased, rainbow hair clips, and that twinkling tiara perched on top, I knew it was always meant to be hers.

Keep Some Photos for Historical Reference, if Necessary.
I know this sounds counterproductive. When my husband left, I was 8 months pregnant. In the hospital room the day after our daughter was born, he said, “Maybe we should’ve never gotten married.” That was a crusher. His words cut into me. It took all my strength to keep standing.

Days before I moved out, I opened a box and there were my Maui wedding photos. An idyllic couple in love stared back at me. I broke down in tears. I couldn’t stop sobbing as I stuffed them one by one into a garbage bag. At the bottom were several framed photos. For some reason, my instincts said to keep those. Why I didn’t toss them in the trash or do a ritual bonfire, I didn’t know.

Years later, I found out why.

I was driving on the freeway and out of the blue my daughter asked, “Mommy? Why weren’t you and Daddy ever married?” It was all the talk at school that day, and since most of her friends had married parents, she felt like the odd kid out. When we got home, I dug out those framed photos and showed them to her. I told her the story of how we met, fell in love, and how that love gave birth to the greatest thing in our lives. So, keeping those photos was my way of documenting the love that created her.

I knew our marriage was meant to be, just as I now know it was never meant to last. Today I’m engaged to an amazing man and I’ll walk down the aisle for the second time in my life (yes, I’ll wear white, but I’ll skip the tiara). Photos will be snapped and framed. Memories will be preserved. But the most important thing I’ll have with this new love is a new perspective…because love isn’t just better, it’s smarter the second time around.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.



Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

11 Lessons in Confidence We Learned From Chrissy Teigen

Hilarious, outspoken, and unfailingly herself, Chrissy Teigen—the multihyphenate professional of being awesome—has a lot to teach us.

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5 Lessons the Fourth of July Teaches You About Divorce

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The Fourth of July is one of my favorite holidays, but it wasn’t until the middle of my divorce that I realized how much divorce and the Fourth of July have in common.

What you ask? Well, just read through the Declaration of Independence (and if you’ve never actually seen those words it’s high time you read it for yourself.)

The first paragraph alone is full of terms like “dissolving political bands” and “assuming a separate and equal station.” If that’s not divorce speak, I don’t know what is. So this Fourth of July while you are celebrating our nation’s independence, and in between barbecues, beer and overcooked hot dogs; take a moment to find the lessons this holiday can teach those of us going through divorce. Take a look.

1 . There will be fireworks.

Firecrackers, Roman candles and enormous firework displays that light up the entire night sky; [Tweet “The Fourth of July is all about pyrotechnics. Well, so is divorce.”] You are gonna have fights, skirmishes, arguments; explosions large and small will blow up on your way to a finalized divorce. It’s gonna happen. So be prepared when those fireworks begin.

2. Remember why you left.

In the Declaration of Independence the founders of our nation outlined all the reasons that this whole colony thing wasn’t working for them anymore. They outlined their reasons. The King established taxes without representation. Kept standing armies in their midst. The colonies were clear on exactly why they wanted to dissolve the marriage to Great Britain. In the same way, [Tweet “We need to be clear and remember why we chose to end our marriage.”] Remember the problems in your marriage, remember what didn’t work for you any longer. Remember these things not to wallow in the past, but to avoid glossing over all the crap that didn’t work in the relationship. If you don’t keep in mind the bad, it’s too easy to fall back into viewing the past a whole lot brighter and shinier than it probably was.

3. You are able to decide your own destiny.

Remember that whole “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” thing? Well, that applies to you too. You have a right and a responsibility to find your own best life after a divorce. You’re now the person in charge of your own happiness. No more blaming your Ex, or expecting anyone else to swoop in with a big ball of happy for you. It’s your duty to pursue the life you want to live on your own. It’s your time to go and find it. No excuses.

4. It took a battle to get here.

Our nation had to fight for nine years to attain freedom. It was a long and bloody battle towards independence. Know that more than likely your journey to independence will be a battle too. It will be bloody, and messy. Don’t run from the battle. That never works. Stand strong and be prepared. And like the United States and Britain became allies again, once your own personal war of divorce is over, maybe you and your former spouse can be friends again too. (That part might take a while but an eventual peace is something to work for.)

5. Don’t forget to celebrate your independence.

Every once in a while take the time to celebrate your own victories. Celebrate that you are either divorced or on your way. What if you didn’t ask for the divorce? Celebrate anyway. Think of all the new adventures and surprises awaiting you. It doesn’t mean you have to throw yourself an out and out party with hats and streamers and a DJ, but once in a while maybe you can pause and say a little “Yay me!”. We’ve worked hard to get here.

Have a wonderful Fourth of July!

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.



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3 Real Lessons We Can All Learn From the 11-Year-Old Breakup Texts That Made Headlines

Everyone on the internet has basically been obsessed with these breakup texts tweeted by Madi Nickens of Plano, Texas. If you haven't seen them yet, you're going to spit and laugh a little when you…


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6 Powerful Life Lessons Learned From Single Dads

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This Father’s Day, we’re celebrating single and divorced dads. Whether you have full custody or time with the kids every other weekend, the lessons you’re imparting by being present are incredibly valuable.

Below, grown children of divorce share the most important lessons their dads taught them about love, relationships, heartbreak or forging a life of their own.

Love can take on many forms.
“My father taught me that true love, even after the end of a twenty-plus year marriage, can last forever. My father grew as a man, devoted himself to his health and continued to love my mother fiercely after their divorce. He refers to her as his best friend and still views her as the love of his life and mother of his children. He’s showed me that despite conflict, despite divorce and despite going through the lowest of lows, love can persevere. That love may now live in different form, be it continuing to support his children or showing up at the first sign of trouble. He refuses to let go of love. Despite any issues we may have as father and child, he’s taught me to continue to believe in the existence of love.” –Jeaiza M. Quinones

A relationship should be a partnership of equals.
zach rosenberg
“My father didn’t teach me about love and heartbreak through the lens of divorce. He taught me skills for being in a successful relationship, just as I imagine anyone’s father does. I was taught to listen to my wife and to hear not only what she’s saying but what she’s not saying. I was taught to resolve issues and to really look inside myself to see if my actions are the issue. I was taught to fight fairly and to know when to just let things go. Marriage is about love. And loving, I’ve been taught, is about equity in your relationship. My dad always did his part before and after divorce and in doing so, he taught me that both spouses need to feel like what they do in the relationship is of worth.” Zach Rosenberg

To get the relationship you want, you need to work on yourself first.
“When I was 19 my father remarried for the seventh time. His groomsmen joked during their toasts about who would be the best man the next time my father got married. My father smiled through his teeth and had his revenge: twenty years later, they are still married. What I learned from my father was not just to try, try, again. The most important lesson wasn’t about standing up in the face of criticism and trusting your heart. Honestly, by stepmother number four I was pretty skeptical. What made my father’s last marriage different wasn’t that he married a better woman. It was that he took a year off after divorce number six and allowed himself to mourn. He went sailing alone for weeks at a time. He saw a therapist. Then, when he started dating again, he found the woman he has been married to for over twenty years. Today, as a twice divorced woman, I know I need to follow in my dad’s most recent footsteps and learn to be OK on my own.” -Lara Lillibridge

Never apologize for who you are.
nile cappello
“I often find myself over-apologizing: for being loud, for speaking me mind, for simply taking up space. My father never apologizes for being himself. He is loud, stubborn and speaks his mind — but I have never once heard him apologize for it. That’s because it’s who he is and if someone has a problem with that, it’s their problem. This has translated directly into how I engage in romantic relationships. For a long time, I found myself taking on the blame in relationships. I was too loud or talked too much or showed my weaknesses too soon. Then I realized, if my father didn’t apologize for who he is, why would I? Why should I apologize for behaving like myself? Through his example, I’ve realized that not apologizing for who you are attracts partners who like you — not a manipulated, pared down or subverted version of you. My father taught me to not only stop apologizing for who I am but to embrace it.” Nile Cappello

Don’t depend on someone else for your own self-worth.
“My dad raised me to value my own intellect. I don’t recall ever being praised for being ‘pretty’ or ‘cute.’ My self-esteem came from doing well at school. He indulged my interests and never belittled my eccentricities. If I liked a pop star, we’d spend a Saturday searching for postcards in the West End. We’d go bird watching and fossil hunting. Nothing was out of my reach; I was expected to achieve anything I choose. I visited him on weekends and during the week he’d phone at 9 p.m. on the dot. We’d read poetry or the latest story I’d written, just to have a chance to connect. My childhood encouraged independence. He died when I was a teen and his death taught me to forgive and to understand that we all carry our own baggage. He made many mistakes but I never doubted he adored me. He taught me I was more than enough and I didn’t need anyone else to feel worthy.” ReeRee Rockette

Sometimes, you have to love against the odds.
krista barth
“After the divorce, perhaps rocked by the loss of his family as he knew it, my dad became fiercely dedicated to his children. We were not always easy to love or even like back then. We were sad and angry, mostly with him. There were countless drives to his house with tears streaming down our faces as we banged on the window. We wanted our mommy and let him know it. He never wavered in his love for us and he never gave up. He was a constant presence. Dad took us for the summers, flying back and forth to D.C. every week for work so we could have magical summers full of bonfires with extended family. He was mom and dad during a time when men simply did not take care of children like today. He stayed up all night when we were sick, taught us to water ski, mow the lawn and took us on endless adventures, even when we did not want to go. Those are now some of my favorite memories. My dad was truly present when he was with us and called everyday when we were apart. These days, hearing that ‘I am my father’s daughter’ is perhaps the greatest compliment I receive.” -Krista Barth

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Beginner Guitar Lessons – Marty Schwartz

Marty Schwartz - Beginner Guitar Lessons  artwork

Beginner Guitar Lessons

Marty Schwartz

Genre: Music

Publish Date: October 15, 2012

Publisher: GuitarJamz Inc

Seller: Guitar Jamz Inc


Playing guitar is way easier than you think!  I'm not just saying that — between pro gigs I taught guitar privately, and after a few years I stumbled upon a unique system that allows anyone at any level to make huge, immediate leaps, even if you've never held a guitar before. Don’t listen to anyone who tries to tell you that you need “musical talent” or “natural rhythm” to master the guitar. It’s nonsense! When you follow the simple steps in this book, you'll be able to play complete songs for your friends or anyone else and you'll do it quickly! Here’s what you will find in this book: 1. How to shave off hours of practice time and retain more of what you learned (This is the holy grail of muscle memory — crucial to rapid mastery.) 2. Easily learn arpeggios & palm muting, allowing you to create your own "magical sound." 3. Discover amazing bar chord * techniques for a "fuller" sound an added dimension to your songs.

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10 Life Lessons from Clueless

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Clueless is officially turning 20 next month. The film, based on Jane Austen’s Emma and directed by Amy Heckerling, debuted in 1995 and quickly became a cultural touchstone, opening our eyes to a world of rhinoplasty, “Rollin’ With My Homies,” and Paul Rudd. By now, we all know the premise. Cher (Alicia Silverstone) and her best friend, Dionne (Stacey Dash), rule the school. They recruit New York City transplant and ugly duckling Tai (Brittany Murphy) to join their clique and proceed to show her how to survive when it comes to life and love on the mean streets of Beverly Hills. There are makeovers and matchmaking—and many life lessons learned along the way. Here, our ten takeaways from the film that defined what it meant to be in the in crowd and captured a generation. We’re the kids in America!

 

You divorce wives, not children.




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Avoid balls flying at your face after a nose job.




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You don’t ever want to be referred to as a Monet.




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Don’t rely on mirrors—Polaroids reveal the truth.




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Expand your vocabulary.




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Avoid high school boys like the plague.




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Anything you can do to draw attention to your mouth is good when it comes to the opposite sex.




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Sending yourself gifts will definitely help pique a boy’s interest.




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When a boy comes over, you should always have something in the oven.




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A “near death” experience at the mall can always be counted on to boost your social standing.




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Lessons in Eclectic Street Style at the Jazz Age Lawn Party

20s governors island party

Some are channeling Lady Mary Crawley; others are dead ringers for Daisy Buchanan. Some frankly look more like Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis in Some Like It Hot than Mary Pickford or Zelda Fitzgerald, but no matter—at the Jazz Age Lawn Party on Governors Island, a wild eclecticism informs the various attempts at ersatz flapper dressing—who cares if you are wearing Birkenstocks with your beaded frock, or flip-flops with your fringe?

What is it about this decade, nearly 100 years on, that continues to excite? Maybe it’s because, like the sixties, the twenties represent a time of great revolutionary fervor—not just in fashion but in the ways people live, unthinkable even five or ten years before. Radios in the humblest shacks! Cars for canoodling, far from prying eyes in the parlor! Movie theaters in the tiniest towns so any girl with a dime could watch Clara Bow bounce across the screen, then go home and fashion herself an “It Girl,” though she lives on a farm and owns exactly two dresses and a single pair of shoes.

How healthy and happy we are in the sunshine on Governors Island, lounging in our vintage linen frocks, our squeaky clean hair squashed under a cloche, our gentlemen callers resplendent in straw boaters and suspenders, maybe even spats!

Our vision made perfect with contact lenses, our merest sniffle eradicated by powerful drugs, we hold our selfie sticks high in our smooth little hands, ready to record the moment so our own great-grandchildren, a century from now, can see all the fun we are having.

The post Lessons in Eclectic Street Style at the Jazz Age Lawn Party appeared first on Vogue.

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What I Know About Poker: Lessons in Texas Hold’em, Omaha and Other Poker Games – Alex Scott

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What I Know About Poker: Lessons in Texas Hold’em, Omaha and Other Poker Games

Lessons in Texas Hold’em, Omaha, and Other Poker Games

Alex Scott

Genre: Games

Publish Date: September 21, 2010

Publisher: Alex Scott

Seller: Smashwords


Poker is not a ‘get rich quick’ scheme. Becoming a consistent winner takes effort and dedication. In this collection of classic articles and much new material, prolific poker strategy writer Alex Scott explains: – How to use Expected Value, Pot Odds, Position, and the principle of Tight-Aggressive play to make good decisions – How to transform your No Limit Hold’em game in five simple steps – How to play Five Card Draw, Lowball Draw, Triple Draw, Badugi, Five Card Stud, Seven Card Stud, Razz, Stud Eight or Better, Chicago, Super Stud, Omaha, Omaha Eight or Better, 5 and 6-Card Omaha, Double Flop Hold’em and Omaha, Courchevel, and Chinese Poker – including basic strategy guides and dealing tips for each variant – How to play when the river is dealt – What to do when you play your first live tournament – When to pass up close gambles in tournaments – How to avoid common bet-sizing mistakes – How to use Fold Equity – How to make money playing Short-Stack Strategy (and how to defend against shortstacking opponents) – How to turn a small investment into big money playing Steps Sit & Gos – When to bet into a dry side pot – How to play when your opponents straddle – How to utilise the ‘squeeze play’ – How to avoid results-oriented thinking – How to keep good records – How to use tells and your opponents’ mannerisms when playing live poker – How the Tight-Aggressive and Loose-Aggressive styles evolved – How to use M and the Independent Chip Model (ICM) to make better decisions in Sit & Go tournaments – How to avoid common ‘robotic’ and predictable plays – How to play when you are card dead – How to defeat online opponents who are using HUDs – How to use the metagame to your advantage – Why Nietzsche was Right about Poker – How Superstition hurts your game, and how you can best use intuition The book includes 13 quizzes to test your knowledge of the material covered. One of the most comprehensive poker guides available, ‘What I Know About Poker’ is a must-have for any player’s library.

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‘Goonies’ turns 30: 5 lessons to learn from the cult classic

No. 3: Cold-hearted criminals apparently make great therapists.




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Jazz Ballet Class Music: Ultimate Jazz Music & Ballet Dance Schools, Dance Lessons, Ballet Class, World Music Ballet Barre, Ballet Exercises & Jazz Ballet Moves – Ballet Dance Jazz J. Company

Ballet Dance Jazz J. Company - Jazz Ballet Class Music: Ultimate Jazz Music & Ballet Dance Schools, Dance Lessons, Ballet Class, World Music Ballet Barre, Ballet Exercises & Jazz Ballet Moves  artwork

Jazz Ballet Class Music: Ultimate Jazz Music & Ballet Dance Schools, Dance Lessons, Ballet Class, World Music Ballet Barre, Ballet Exercises & Jazz Ballet Moves

Ballet Dance Jazz J. Company

Genre: Instrumental

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Release Date: September 14, 2012

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5 Positive Lessons My Divorce Taught Me for Future Relationships

I recently had lunch with a freshly-divorced friend. We hadn’t spoken in awhile, so throughout the meal I got the typical rundown of Things-That-Went-Wrong, Qualities-My-Next-Partner-Must-Have (typically, everything his ex-wife was NOT) and How-Could-I-Have-Been-So-Blind realizations. I understood; I’ve certainly been in that place, and know many divorced friends who’ve similarly dealt with these same issues. Change is hard, divorce is a major transition and emotions are not always logical.

With the benefit of time on my side, however, the lessons I learned in my marriage and subsequent divorce are far more positive. I recently wrote about how there’s no such thing as a ‘failed marriage‘; you’ve either worked things through or learned a lesson. Here are 5 positive lessons I took from my own divorce and successfully applied to post-divorce relationships.

How to speak my truth
Throughout years of my marriage I hesitated to speak my truth. While my intentions were honorable — I wanted to keep the peace, I didn’t want to introduce conflict, I was trying so hard to be a “good wife” — my execution came up short because I was not being authentic with myself or my spouse. By hiding my truth, trying to ignore hurt feelings, “sucking it up,” I was doing myself and my ex-husband a great disservice. While nothing could have patched the holes my marriage, I have taken that lesson into subsequent relationships and done my best to communicate in a genuine, honest and authentic manner.

How difficult long-term relationships can be, sometimes
I truly believe people’s intentions are good when they tell you, pre-marriage, how wonderful life will be with your new spouse. The truth, however, can be a little different. Marriage can be really wonderful, and with enough hard work the good outweighs the bad. But marriage also includes some dark times when you question your decision, wonder if it has to be so hard, and feel jealous of your other married friends who seem to have their sh*t together. Every long-term relationship has struggles and rough spots. The relationships that are worth it will endure the rough spots and focus on the silver linings. The grass is greener where you water it.

The answer to my relationship problems often resides in me
When things get rough and I’m frustrated with my partner’s behavior, it’s easy for me to focus on what he needs to fix or change. It’s not as easy to focus on myself, my own words and actions, and how they’re, similarly, lacking. Divorce has taught me to focus on what I can do to ease my own frustration when things slip sideways. When my partner is crabby and stressed out he tends to lash out… but it’s amazing how quickly his attitude changes when he has a good meal and some gentle words of support from me. As a result he’s generally kinder and gentler with me. Instead of reacting in frustration and anger, myself, I’ve learned to switch perspective and see the problem from his point of view, then amend my reaction. Similarly, when I’m stressed and lashing out, it’s notable how quickly my anger is diffused when he brings me flowers, takes over dinner prep or simply gives me a hug. If you’re dealing with a difficult time in your relationship, take a moment and look inside to see what you can do to improve things.

I genuinely love being half of a couple, even when it’s hard
No relationship can maintain the terrific, swoony feeling you get in the beginning. At some point life and reality take over and you find yourself folding his socks and huffing because he left the toilet seat up again. But at the end of the day, my solid relationship — even with all of its quirks — is far preferable to not having him in my life. He provides strength, fortitude, humor and security when I can’t find these things on my own. Being half of a partnership means difficulty sometimes, but it also means you have someone in your corner at the end of the day, every day.

Loving someone is a choice
All relationships have their storms along with their rainbows. Long-term successful couples make the choice to love each other, through good and bad, forever. Loving someone is a choice to make your partner a priority, even when s/he’s being grumpy because there’s nothing in the house to eat but individually-wrapped cheese slices and neither of you wants to go to the grocery store. It’s a choice you make, when the world is falling out from under you and you’re on two different planets and it feels like things may never get better (but you know, you have that intrinsic sense of security in knowing that things can get better, that you’re well-matched). Loving someone is a choice, weekly, daily, sometimes hourly, to remember that the person beside you is the person you chose, of your own free will, both in the skin-tingling highs and the dark, drudging lows. Love is a choice to see the best in that person instead of succumbing to viewing their weaknesses through a gritty filter of disappointment. Successful couples are successful because of their commitment to leaning inward instead of away when things get hard.

Though divorce can be terrible and life-altering, if you can shift your perspective a bit, you may learn some invaluable lessons to make moving forward a little easier.

Kasey Ferris is a freelance writer and mother-of-five. She eats too many Oreos and thinks life is much better when you’re laughing. Find her at facebook.com/KaseyFerrisWrites.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

Blues Guitar Lessons – Jody Worrell & Peter Vogl

Jody Worrell & Peter Vogl - Blues Guitar Lessons  artwork

Blues Guitar Lessons

Learn How to Play Blues Guitar Licks and Scales with Video and Tabs

Jody Worrell & Peter Vogl

Genre: Music

Publish Date: April 30, 2013

Publisher: Watch & Learn, Inc.

Seller: Watch & Learn, Inc.


The Blues Guitar Lessons ebook features guitar lessons by Jody Worrell and Peter Vogl.  You will learn how to play blues guitar licks, pentatonic scales, blues scales, and a variety of techniques.  Each segment is taught with step by step video instruction and demonstrated along with an audio jam track.  You can also refer to the included tabs for help.  The lessons included in this course are Stevie Ray Vaughan Style Lick, Eric Clapton Style Lick, Am Pentatonic Licks, F Blues Licks, and E Minor & Major Pentatonic Licks.

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Blues Guitar Lessons – Jody Worrell & Peter Vogl

Jody Worrell & Peter Vogl - Blues Guitar Lessons  artwork

Blues Guitar Lessons

Learn How to Play Blues Guitar Licks and Scales with Video and Tabs

Jody Worrell & Peter Vogl

Genre: Music

Publish Date: April 30, 2013

Publisher: Watch & Learn, Inc.

Seller: Watch & Learn, Inc.


The Blues Guitar Lessons ebook features guitar lessons by Jody Worrell and Peter Vogl.  You will learn how to play blues guitar licks, pentatonic scales, blues scales, and a variety of techniques.  Each segment is taught with step by step video instruction and demonstrated along with an audio jam track.  You can also refer to the included tabs for help.  The lessons included in this course are Stevie Ray Vaughan Style Lick, Eric Clapton Style Lick, Am Pentatonic Licks, F Blues Licks, and E Minor & Major Pentatonic Licks.

iTunes Store: Top Free Books in Arts & Entertainment

America’s Army #14 – Decide to Lead PT. 2 : Lessons – M. Zachary Sherman, Robert Atkins, J Brown & Marshall Dillion

M. Zachary Sherman, Robert Atkins, J Brown & Marshall Dillion - America's Army #14 - Decide to Lead PT. 2 : Lessons  artwork

America’s Army #14 – Decide to Lead PT. 2 : Lessons

M. Zachary Sherman, Robert Atkins, J Brown & Marshall Dillion

Genre: Graphic Novels

Publish Date: March 18, 2015

Publisher: IDW Publishing

Seller: Idea and Design Works, LLC


Being a strong leader is about dedication to the mission, taking care of the Soldiers under your command and keeping yourself strong mentally and physically. For 2LT Carter, learning this critical balance becomes essential when his team is ambushed in Afghanistan and Carter must take charge in the face of overwhelming odds in America's Army #14 – Decide to Lead PT. 2 : Lessons.

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7 Invaluable Love Lessons From Single Moms

As a single parent, you’re solely responsible for modeling what love looks like: If you choose to remain single, you teach your kids that you don’t need a romantic partner to feel complete or loved. If you move on with someone new, you get a whole new chance to model what a happy, healthy relationship looks like.

With that in mind, and to mark Mother’s Day, we asked HuffPost bloggers and readers to reflect on one thing their single or divorced mothers taught them about love, relationships, heartbreak or forging a life of their own. Read their inspiring responses below:

Don’t look for someone to complete you.
mary katherine backstrom
Photo courtesy of Mary Katherine Backstrom
“My parents divorced when I was young and I went on to live with my mom. Her first year as a single mother, I watched as she landed a job, completed her education and became involved in our new church. I was amazed by a woman who refused to lose her identity to a broken relationship, no matter how heartbroken she felt. Later, my mom would explain that a woman is only ready for love when she is no longer in need of it. ‘Honey,’ she said. ‘Don’t look for somebody to complete you. Look for somebody who loves you completely.’ Today, I’m a mother and have been happily married for 10 years. My husband is my best friend, the love my life, and my partner in crime…but he isn’t ‘my other half.’ He is another whole. My mother taught me to recognize that.” -Mary Katherine Backstrom

There’s still value in marriage, even if it doesn’t work out.
“Being raised by a single mother taught me practical lessons as well as emotional ones. We’re both handy with a paintbrush and a hammer. We’re both women who don’t shy away from getting dirty. When I opened my first hair salon it was me, my mother and my aunt who painted it from top to bottom. Emotionally, we are all strong and bold women. Through mom’s example, I also learned a whole lot about marriage. She’s actually been married three times so as a young person I shied away from the idea of getting married myself. I felt like love wasn’t everlasting and marriage vows were just empty promises. As I’ve grown, I’ve become keen to marry but I still believe love rarely lasts. I’ve just accepted that love — and the moments you share with someone — are still worth celebrating.” -ReeRee Rockette

Grief and heartbreak take many forms.
nile cappello
Photo courtesy of Nile Cappello
“When it came to relationships, it was sometimes hard to be my mother’s daughter –- she is fiercely independent, often to a fault and has a strict no-bullshit policy. I, on the other hand, am not quite as independent or tough-skinned and have put up with far more bullshit than I would like to admit. When I went through my first real adult heartbreak, I was torn: I wanted so badly to lean on my mom for support but also didn’t want her to be disappointed that the daughter she’d raised to be a warrior was, well, not one. I did, of course, go to my mom –- and am forever grateful I did. She let me experience this heartbreak in the way I needed to and she made sure I knew that it was OK. By giving me permission to grieve in my own way -– which involved a lot of TLC marathons and tears –- she told me that we all experience life and react to it in different ways but that each and every one is legitimate. She didn’t shame me or make me feel less strong and independent than she is –- in fact, she reassured me that allowing myself to grieve the way I felt I needed to was strong in and of itself. ” -Nile Cappello

Forgive and let go of your bitterness.
“My parents divorced when I was young and my father wasn’t around. My mother had to take the role of mother and father. She was my hero. She raised two kids while attending nursing school and worked 50 hours a week. She had a rough marriage but she didn’t let it turn her into a bitter person. From her example, I learned that you can’t let your past define who you are or your future. She taught me that complaining makes the problem worse and puts you in the wrong mental state. She taught me that life is short and time is precious. You can waste time or learn how to live fully in the present. Thanks for that, mom. I love you so much.” -Kimanzi Constable

Don’t allow adversity to harden your spirit.

jeaiza m quinones

Photo courtesy of Jeaiza M. Quinones

“My mother instilled in me and my siblings a level of strength I was unaware I had until I reached my twenties. I realize now that when I face adversity, I have a sense of focus and drive that was passed down from her. At the same time, I have learned to be a nurturer and to never allow the weight of the world and the adversity I face to weather me or turn me away from people. This mindset has gotten me through depression, struggles in school, as well as my own heartbreak. My mother has seen her share of heartbreak and struggle and she’s still as spiritual and gentle as they come.” –Jeaiza M. Quinones

Love is not for the faint of heart.
“Through my mother’s example, I leaned that love requires us to be strong enough to love when people are at their most unlovable. It requires the strength to put your needs aside to love someone who needs you, as she did as a single mom, and it requires the strength to put yourself first occasionally, too. She taught me that love is often messy and imperfect just like people. Because of her, my expectations are not for love to be a fairy tale. Love requires the strength to forgive each day — forgive our children, our spouse, our ex-spouse, our parents — to be truly healthy and whole. Thanks to my mom, I am strong enough to love and strong enough to know I am worth loving.” -Krista Barth

Stand up for yourself — and for others.

drewshane daniels

Photo courtesy of Drew-Shane Daniels

“At an early age, my mother taught me that when you can speak and stand up for yourself, you are, in effect, saying to yourself and the world that you matter. My mother exudes confidence; seeing her navigate life raising three children as a single mother assured me that I could advocate for myself and others around me. She also reminded me that I didn’t have to tear down others to make myself feel better. She never judged, regardless of class, race or sexuality. In not having a father around, I gained a mother who became the woman she needed to become.”-Drew-Shane Daniels

Keep in touch! Check out HuffPost Divorce on Facebook and Twitter. Sign up for our newsletter here.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Divorce – The Huffington Post

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Who Am I: Top 10 Life Lessons | #OWNSHOW | Oprah Winfrey Network

Life is full of lessons. Guests of season 2 of #OWNSHOW’s digital series Who Am I, including Vivica A. Fox, Gabrielle Union and Alan Cumming, share their most personal and important life lessons.

The series Who Am I delves into the universal idea of self-identity and what it means to look within oneself for insight to carry through one’s daily life.

Find OWN on TV at http://www.oprah.com/FindOWN

SUBSCRIBE: http://bit.ly/1vqD1PN

#OWNSHOW is a digital exclusive web-show on Oprah.com. Packaged into stackable moments, the show brings together stories, life-tips, and personalities from Oprah.com, OWN, and O Magazine with interactive elements from YOU, the community. www.oprah.com/ownshow

About OWN:
Oprah Winfrey Network is the first and only network named for, and inspired by, a single iconic leader. Oprah Winfrey’s heart and creative instincts inform the brand — and the magnetism of the channel.

Winfrey provides leadership in programming and attracts superstar talent to join her in primetime, building a global community of like-minded viewers and leading that community to connect on social media and beyond. OWN is a singular destination on cable. Depth with edge. Heart. Star power. Connection. And endless possibilities.

Discover OWN TV:
Find OWN on your TV!: http://bit.ly/1wJ0ugI
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Anal Lessons 3

Prolific anal pornographer Mike Adriano is not only a skilled director and tireless video stud; hes also a sexual educator! Whenever a gorgeous slut needs to be taught the proper way to take a nasty ass fucking, Mike is the man to see! Anal Lessons #3 contains four scenes of perverse, one-on-one action starring some of sexiest new sluts to ever hit the backdoor big time! Exotic, mixed-race beauty Jade Jantzen has a sweet, demure manner that makes her wet blow job session and ass-stretching adventure with Mike all the more exciting. Blonde, 21-year-old newbie Kate England orally worships the directors huge cock and her adorable anus fully gapes. Pale, petite punk Necro Nicki services Mikes member in a slobbery, ball-slurping blow job; Mike expands Nickis small butthole with his huge cock. Sporting all-natural, 34D boobs and swollen duck lips, Rachele Richey gives Mike an expert rim job, then gets her own tender sphincter ruthlessly reamed.

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10 Lessons I’ve Learned About Marriage From Divorce

Unfortunately, I know a thing or two about divorce. My parents divorced when I was in my twenties, and my first marriage ended in divorce after 13 years. Even my closest friends all have parents who are divorced.

So when my marriage ended, I thought that having a successful marriage wasn’t in the cards for me. But as luck would have it, I ended up meeting and marrying a man who is not just an amazing person, but a top-notch husband. My second marriage has been my version of Happily Ever After.

What I’ve learned from my experiences of divorce and remarriage, and from observing other couples, is that every couple has the ability to have a successful marriage. Marital success has nothing to do with education, economics or social status. In fact, if ever there was an even playing field, it is in this area.

Having a successful marriage is all about the choices we make every minute of every day. Marriages fail when spouses make poor choices as to how they are going to treat each other. It isn’t more complicated than that. So here are some of my insights about marriage (some learned the hard way) and how you can make good choices and have your own happily ever after…

Lesson #1: Remember that it isn’t your job to make your spouse happy. Your job is to help create an environment in which your spouse can be happy. That means get your act together and be a dependable partner. That means don’t create unnecessary stress or conflict in your marriage. That means genuinely love and encourage your spouse. After that, whether or not they are happy is up to them.

Lesson #2: It helps immensely if you and your spouse have a spiritual practice. Your choice of religion doesn’t really matter. Simply following any spiritual teaching that reinforces the importance of love, compassion and forgiveness, will inspire both of you to treat each other far better than you would otherwise.

Lesson #3: If you are married, that fact should be part of your public persona. Wear your wedding ring. Talk about your spouse in glowing terms to your colleagues and friends. Being married should be part of who you are.

Lesson #4: You can always find someone smarter, more attractive or more successful than your spouse. Remember: your spouse can do the same. “Affair proof” your marriage by telling your spouse regularly how highly you think of them. A daily dose of positive reinforcement goes a long way.

Lesson #5: Frequent physical intimacy is necessary for a happy marriage. Don’t make it complicated. You don’t need outfits, pornography, role playing, threesomes, spouse swapping, BDSM or anything else. You only need to give your spouse your undivided attention, caring and acceptance. It requires nothing more and nothing less.

Lesson #6: If your daily communications with your spouse are limited to the Costco list and your children’s soccer practice schedules, then you both are going to be looking elsewhere for a romantic charge. Flirt with your spouse, not your co-workers or the Starbucks barista.

Lesson #7: Dating does not end on your wedding day. When you go out with your spouse, act like it is your first date. Put on a great outfit, hold hands and make interesting conversation. Don’t save your best self for others. Give your best self to your spouse.

Lesson #8: If you are married, you have an obligation to take care of your appearance. You are the person who is most closely associated with your spouse, and you shouldn’t be an embarrassment to them. You don’t have to look like Kate Upton or Will Smith. You just have to look your best.

Lesson #9: There is no glory in remaining in a bad marriage. No one is going to give you a gold sticker or saint you. Worse yet, your kids ultimately may not thank you for it. So choose how and with whom you spend your time on this earth wisely.

Lesson #10: People stay in marriages for many reasons. For their children. For money. For convenience. For ambition, political or otherwise. But you will find no greater joy than being married solely for love.

Over the years, I’ve learned that marriage is not for the faint of heart. It requires a level of maturity and selflessness that most people don’t possess when they first say, “I do.” However, if you are patient and work hard at it, the rewards of a happy marriage are immeasurable.
Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

9 Important Lessons My Single Mother Taught Me About Love And Dating | Bustle

I was raised by one of the most badass women I have ever had the pleasure of meeting — my single mother. My mother wears all black, can quote Vygotsky, and wrote her PhD dissertation when I was in elementary school, while typing on our OG Mac computer and sucking on See’s lollipops as I slept. She’s basically a real-life, feminist superhero who offered me a constant stream of comfort, love, and understanding while I was growing up, never belittling or disrespecting me — even when I spent hours complaining about petty issues (middle-school girl spats, which Limited Too shirt to wear to a school dance) that paled in comparison to the things she’d been through (divorce and single motherhood). 
Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

Mike Adriano’s Anal Lessons #3

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How to Be a Versace Babe: Beauty Lessons from Backstage in Milan

Photographed by Kevin Tachman

What does modern sex appeal mean? The answer may evolve from season to season, year to year—but chez Donatella Versace, the bombshell equation of swingy hair and smoldering eye makeup always makes good. At her show tonight, models Karlie Kloss, Natasha Poly, and Anna Ewers lounged around the backstage area looking like certified power babes. And while excellent genes have no doubt helped their case, there is something to be learned by mere mortals from the designer’s more-is-more beauty philosophy. Here, four rules—stolen from backstage power duo Guido Palau and Pat McGrath—to consider this month.

1. There is nothing more important than a black kohl pencil. Each season, Versace’s girls walk the runway with a fresh incarnation of the smoky eye—and tonight’s show was no exception. “It’s pencil drawn all around the inside and the outside of the lashes,” said makeup artist Pat McGrath, who took a cue from the bold shapes and slit-to-there lines of the house’s fall collection. “It makes things tougher, sharper, it brings out the color of your eyes.”

2. Do not, we repeat—do not—leave the house with less than three coats of mascara. In fact, you are going to need “massive” amounts of inky black pigment swiped along the lashes, according to McGrath, who curled them before going over each little hair repeatedly with a thick brush formula.



Expand


Photographed by Kevin Tachman

Photographed by Kevin Tachman

3. You are going to want to consider growing your hair out—and possibly getting bangs. Swingy, below-the-shoulder hair is key to your look—because what better accessory is there for a body-con power suit? If you’re thinking of making a bold change, however, the brow-grazing fringe spotted on models Mica Arganaraz and Vanessa Moody is an appropriately pillowy option.

4. Remember that old saying about looking in the mirror before you go out for the night and taking one thing off? It does not apply to you. Because whether it’s clouds of Redken Diamond Oil High Shine  shine spray on the hair for a sleek urban texture or a high-impact gleam on the eyelids in the form of Elizabeth Arden Eight Hour Cream, standing out is most definitely your thing.

Photo: Marcus Tondo / Indigitalimages.com

The post How to Be a Versace Babe: Beauty Lessons from Backstage in Milan appeared first on Vogue.

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Taboo stories of a mother’s forbidden secrets and the unleashing of a daughter’s hidden desires!

Sometimes daughters don’t know what they really want, and sometimes they do, when they are helped by their wiser, more experienced mothers. The boundaries of families are tested in this story of lesbian lust.

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Taboo stories of a mother’s forbidden secrets and the unleashing of a daughter’s hidden desires! Sometimes daughters don’t know what they really want, and sometimes they do, when they are helped by their wiser, more experienced mothers.

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Boys Just Want to Have Fun: Lessons From London Men’s Fashion Week

Agi and Sam Fall 2015

Is menswear having more fun with fashion these days? It sure looked like it on the London runways this week: Agi and Sam put models in lego masks, stacked like tiny, colorful cities built on cheeks and foreheads; Christopher Shannon placed plastic bags (with air holes) over his models’ heads; Craig Green crafted sweaters with a gaping hole right at the upper abs; J.W.Anderson fastened his jackets with curved metal buttons that, if detached, would perfectly hold a piece of fruit. And that wasn’t the half of it. Sibling played with hokey hot pink, dyeing models’ hair and having them carry massive knitted stuffed toys—probably won for the men by some beautiful women playing throwing games at a sinister back-lot fair. One reporter noted the smell of marijuana in the audience at Casely-Hayford. Shaun Samson showed a hybrid apron-dress printed with the words Adolescent, Precocious, Aspirational, and Katie Eary’s models wore colorful skull caps that resembled brains, and clownish Picasso baby-got-into-mom’s-purse makeup. Menswear feels weirder—and by weirder, we mean more inclusive—right now than womenswear; in any case, these collections are certainly attracting everyone’s attention. We can only hope that this playful tone will become infectious, carrying through into the womenswear collections next month, and that fashion as a whole is in for a party.

The post Boys Just Want to Have Fun: Lessons From London Men’s Fashion Week appeared first on Vogue.

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Life Lessons with the Dowager Countess

Downton Abbey Maggie Smith

Today marks the return of everyone’s favorite period drama, Downton Abbey, on PBS. In it first four seasons, creator and writer Julian Fellowes has covered everything from the sinking of the Titanic, to the Spanish flu pandemic, to most recently seeing the Crawley family enter the Jazz Age and combat the fall of the landed gentry. However, the one character steering the ship throughout is the Dowager Countess played by the legendary Dame Maggie Smith. Here, we pinpoint some life lessons that the matriarch of Downton has extolled and how she maintains her status as the village’s voice of reason and decorum.

1. First impressions count, so make it good.

2. Leisure time is all the time. Forget about work and focus on the finer pursuits of life.

3. Parenthood is a full-time, very involved role. But make sure the kids are perfectly presentable. At least for an hour.

4. Always wear your finest. Or fear being deemed the help.

5. Technology constantly works against us.

6. As does furniture

7. Musical taste is subjective. Sometimes it takes a while before you add that song or genre to your Spotify playlist.

8. However, you can always count on the Italians to provide a romantic end to any evening.

9. But not all international relations have a happy ending.

10. Gossip is harmless, unless you’re the subject being discussed.

11. If one takes something as a compliment, remind them that it most likely isn’t.

12. Flowers are serious business.

13. Although inappropriate, physical fighting can have some beneficial outcomes.

14. Bedrest equals beauty.

15. But at the end, it’s all about spending time with someone whose company you enjoy.

The post Life Lessons with the Dowager Countess appeared first on Vogue.

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Beauty Lessons We Learned This Year

To think just a year ago, we had no idea that eyebrows could be “on fleek.” We didn’t have a trendy word for not wearing makeup, and if you didn’t wash your hair—well, you just kept it to yourself. That all changed in 2014. Here, these and the other beauty lessons we learned this year.
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5 Beauty Lessons We Learned This Year From Victoria’s Secret Models

Lucky for us, Victoria's "Secret" seems to be that she hires women who are incredibly gorgeous and hot to show us all how to find our inner sex kitten. Here's what the VS models taught…




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5 Lessons From A Twenty-Something Divorcée

By Jillian Kramer

I remember the conversation well. I’d been separated from my ex-husband for about six months when a friend called with news that another friend was also ending her marriage. “She said something to me that I wanted to get your opinion on,” my friend said. “She said that now that she’s been through one divorce, it would be easier to go through a second. Is that how it really feels?”

“No,” I told my dear friend. “I would never, ever want to go through that again. I can’t imagine it ever being anything than the hardest thing you’ll ever do.”

Now, nearly 18 months removed from our split, I’m grateful for the experience. Not for the failure of our marriage — because with that comes shame and sadness that you can bury but that never really goes away — but for what going through a divorce taught me about life and about myself. Whether you’ve ended a marriage too or gone through a heart-wrenching breakup, perhaps you’ve also learned these lessons. And if not, let’s hope you can learn them vicariously through me rather than through self-experience.

1. I am so strong.
I used to know that without question. Then, little by little — so little, in fact, I didn’t even notice it — I lost some of that strength. I was so unhappy, so lost. I looked to my then-husband to make everything right, which is too large of a burden for anyone to bear, let alone a person who no longer wishes to be married to you. So when I was faced with the idea of loading my tiny Toyota Yaris with my clothing, my books, a computer, a TV, the vacuum, and an iron — sans ironing board — I was convinced I might die on the 17-hour drive home to Ohio. I thought the loss, the pain, would literally kill me. Not only did I live, but in the next 18 months, I flourished. It’s true that the things that don’t kill you make you stronger. And sometimes it takes pushing yourself to the edge of what you think you can bear to realize you are strong enough to pick up, move on, and live well.

2. My family and friends do know best.
My family and friends never really liked my ex. They tolerated him, at best, and were kind enough to (mostly) keep their mouths shut. But any time I asked their opinion, they confessed their concerns. And for my part, I ignored them. I was living a 17-hour drive from my hometown — what could they possibly know about this man? I reasoned. I was a smart, independent woman. I could tell a dud from a Prince Charming, and I clearly had the latter. Only I didn’t. And while I was swept away by insincere words, promises, and cheesy gestures, my friends and family saw down to a selfish, cruel core. The next time they get a “feeling” about a man I bring home, I will listen with open ears and an open heart.

3. Love never really dies.
It changes. It morphs into something less, something that can’t sustain a lifetime or even an hour together. But it never goes away in its entirety. Now, I can’t imagine spending my life with my ex. We would have destroyed each other and taken away each other’s happiness. But because that little bit of love is still there, I genuinely want him to be happy. I would be completely, totally, bald-faced lying if I wrote that I don’t get a little pleasure out of the odd things he gets himself into. (I recently heard, through a friend, that his credit card bears an image of himself — alone! — on it, and a waitress swiping the card called him narcissistic. I got a very good laugh out of that.) But I hope, at the end of the day, he has all he needs met and is satisfied with life.

4. The only way you can live with yourself is without regrets.
It makes me sad when people say they regret their relationships and experiences. Do I wish I could introduce myself as a 28-year-old, soon to be 29, who isn’t divorced? Duh. Yes. But I do not regret my marriage, the love I once felt for my husband, the person it made me, and how it prepared me for my next relationship. Of course, there is a part of me that feels like I wasted time on a relationship that ended up crumbling, but as long as I’m happy now — which I am, so very much — how could I possibly regret the steps that brought me here? No matter what you face, you should let it create a better, bolder you.

5. Someone else will see me for what I’m worth.
At about the time I was packing my things to leave, my bra size happened to change — and it coincided with a semi-annual sale at Victoria’s Secret. So I stocked up on bras that would fit and a single corset that was just shy of $ 25 on sale online — so pretty, so inexpensive for that retailer that I literally couldn’t resist. When the package arrived and I pulled out each item from the box, my then-husband walked into the bedroom. He spotted the black, lacy lingerie and blurted out, “Who exactly do you think will see you in that?” I had no clue. But I also had hope that one day, someone would. And that man might see me for a kind, adventurous, generous woman — who looked darn hot in that lacy little corset. My ex couldn’t see any of that, because he was blinded by all the negative emotions that accompany divorce. But I am so glad I didn’t listen to his words and instead chose to believe there would be someone better down the road. Turns out, I was right.

More from Glamour here:
10 Things He’s Thinking When You’re Naked
10 Wardrobe Essentials Every Woman Should Own
What Guys Really Think About Your Underwear

More from HuffPost:

Divorce – The Huffington Post

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Christian Dating Site Rapist: 3 Lessons to Learn

Mr. Banks was accused of two accounts of rape. He met the victims on online dating services. There are three lessons to be learned from the story. 1. Do a background check on the person you are interested in. 2. Before inviting someone to your home there are phases that the relationship has to go through first. 3. A Christian woman is not supposed to invite a man to her home and spend time alone with him.
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10 Biting Lessons We Learned from ‘Sharknado 2: The Second One’

It’s the bad-movie franchise that Twitter built When Sharknado – the saga of a man his chainsaw and a bunch of poorly CGI’d sharks flying through the air in LA – aired on Syfy last year it became a surprise social-network sensation racking up enough mentions to compete with the likes…

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8 Beauty Lessons We’ve Learned Through The Ages

We all know it: It’s often difficult to embrace our looks in a culture driven by conventional standards of beauty. Embracing your natural loveliness is tricky when you’re inundated with imagery of bodies and faces of impossible perfection. (Thanks, Photoshop!)

Still, while we all recognize that unrealistic ideals don’t always reflect the world around us, there’s a lot we can learn from the past. As beauty trends and rituals evolve, we find that what’s “flawed” in one generation becomes “flawless” in the next.

We’ve partnered with Suave Professionals to bring you eight lessons about beauty we’ve learned throughout history.

Embrace your unique beauty by treating your natural tresses to a touch of glam. Suave Professionals Natural Infusions formula is infused with carefully chosen natural ingredients for beautiful results every time.
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Live to Your Potential: Life-Changing Lessons For All – The Oprah Winfrey Show – OWN

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10 Life Lessons You Learned From ‘90s Sitcoms

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Lessons in Layering: 5 Outfit Ideas For A Rainy Spring Day

I thought it was "April showers bring May flowers," not "April showers bring a wet, gross spring and summer" (well, if the Farmer's Almanac is to be believed anyway). BUT that does give us more…




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