Should Your Guy Be Worried About Losing You?

Most guys will make the effort to impress you at the start of a relationship. But over time and when things become familiar, the many things that were done to impress you may simply slow down or completely stop.
Relationships:Dating Articles from EzineArticles.com

4 Can’t-Live-Without Grooming Products You Should Add to Your Routine

Long gone are the days when men had to siphon off facial moisturizers, serums, and hairspray marketed to women that they found in the medicine cabinet. There are a bevy of products out there for men in masculine scents: cedar, tobacco, leather.

However, there’s a big group of guys who don’t want to smell like a cigar club—and an equal number of women who eschew sweet, floral scents that are sold to the fairer sex. Over the last year, the products in my bathroom have shifted to almost exclusively unisex. The scents tend to be clean and herbaceous, and all the products are on the must-have list (instead of nice-to-have—I wouldn’t know firsthand, but I have yet to meet the guy who needs four kinds of beard oil). Check out some of our current favorites, below, that you’ll want to add to your regular routine.


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EIR NYC Pitted Deodorant
Courtesy image

EIR NYC Pitted Deodorant
This Brooklyn-based all-natural unisex brand has quite a few products I use on the regular, particularly the Surf Mud Pro face stick for SPF protection and the fizzy Active Face Wash. But it’s the deodorant I’m particularly crazy about. It comes in a biodegradable tube, and is non-obvious enough that I can throw it in my bag if I know it’s going to be a hot one. The protection is as good as I get from drugstore brands, and I love the smell of evergreen trees and sand, reminiscent of the northern coast of California. This is the sort of thing I stock up on and give to my friends to try.

[$ 22; eirnyc.com]

Maapilim Facial Mud Mask
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Maapilim Facial Mud Mask
If you haven’t tried a mud mask before, you’re going to love it. Cake this stuff on, which smells soothing, like a ceramics studio, wait until it gets dry and matte, and wash it off with a cloth. Clear pores and oil-free skin await, which makes this a summer must-have. Getting it off can be a bit of a production, so if you’re short on time in the morning, rub some across your nose and chin, have coffee and brush your teeth while it dries, then wipe off the mud and go.

[$ 38; maapilim.com]

Sachajuan Dry Powder Shampoo
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Sachajuan Dry Powder Shampoo
There are some mornings that a full post-workout in the shower isn’t in the cards and the best you can hope for is a paper towel wipe-down and forgiving coworkers. On those days, I add one more thing to the express itinerary—dry shampoo. These products are supposed to give you a quick refresh and soak up some scalp sweat. Fair enough. But often, they come out too powdery and you turn out looking like an 18th century barrister. This spray comes out fast, cold, and mostly clear. Plus, it gives your hair a little lift and style as it dries.

[$ 35; sephora.com]

Youth Corridor Ultimate Antioxidant C Boost Serum
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Youth Corridor Ultimate Antioxidant C Boost Serum
I’m 34, but a few months ago I realized there were lines and sagging on my face that made me look (and feel) quite a bit older. So I’ve been pretty religious about applying a few drops of this serum to my mug every morning, and man has it made a difference. My skin looks brighter and it’s more resilient, especially when I spend the whole day in the sun. And it feels healthier to the touch. It’s pricey, but a bottle should last you about a year.

[$ 195; youthcorridor.com]

The post 4 Can’t-Live-Without Grooming Products You Should Add to Your Routine appeared first on Men's Journal.

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Lawrence Taylor Says Jameis Winston Should Know Better

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The ‘real Kevin King’ should finally appear in training camp

A year after the Packers picked him at No. 33 overall, they still haven’t seen Kevin King at his best but believe that will change soon.
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How you should dress in your Tinder pics

At least half of online dating is fantasy. And scrolling through a dating app is basically relationship porn—but instead of anonymous apartments and delivery men, this kind of porn has us ladies (and I’m sure more than a few men) imagining a passionate courtship, one that takes place on hikes in Peru, Caribbean fishing excursions, and bars with exceptional lighting.

The post How you should dress in your Tinder pics appeared first on Men's Journal.

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Sweden is attractive country and is also known for beautiful women. If you are thinking about dating a Swedish girl then you must keep this information in mind. It can help you a lot. First, learn that dating in Sweden is really not called dating. It is called pickup which means going out for coffee and pastries. Dating in Sweden is a well-established process. Its first phase is called cecum in which you meet the girl and go out for a walk or eating together. Going out together for a dinner symbolizes that it is becoming serious.
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There’s no rolling luggage on the trail. Everything you bring must be lightweight and utilitarian. From dry shampoo to bug repellant and on-the-go cleansing wipes, here are five grooming products you need to pack in your backpack, no matter what trip you’re heading on next.

The post 5 Grooming Products You Should Always Have in Your Backpack appeared first on Men's Journal.

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The post 5 Men’s Hairstyle Trends You Should Try in 2018 appeared first on Men's Journal.

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The post 5 Grooming Products You Should Always Keep in Your Gym Bag appeared first on Men's Journal.

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The post 24 Things Every Man Should Have in His Closet appeared first on Men's Journal.

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There are a lot of things every guy should have in his closet: the right pair of slim cut dark jeans, a really good cashmere sweater, a great watch, and a pair of boots that are made to last among them. Not among them? Square toed shoes.

The post 8 Things No Man Should Ever Wear appeared first on Men's Journal.

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Should the NHL play on holidays?

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How to Determine If You Should Talk About Politics in Public

When candidate Trump first set about the job of redefining politics (and reality) back in 2015, people had lots of predictions about how things would turn out. One year isn’t long enough to know everything we need to know about his presidency, but it’s long enough to to check some of our predictions. As a public service, I put together a list of predictions that various people made about Trump that you can use to evaluate your own predictive powers. Count the number of items on the list that you once predicted would be true. I’ll tell you how to evaluate your score at the end.

Did you once believe…

Trump will never win the GOP nomination.

Trump will never win the presidency.

Stocks will drop if Trump is elected.

President Trump will deport ten million illegal immigrants.

Trump will be gone (impeached, jailed, or quit) by end of 2017.

Trump’s immigration ban on several Muslim countries will be found unconstitutional.

Trump colluded with Russia, and that’s a crime.

Trump obstructed justice (a crime) by firing Comey.

Trump’s skills as a “con man” might get him elected but it won’t transfer into doing the job of president.

Trump’s decision to recognize Jerusalem as the capital of Israel will cause huge problems.

Trump’s tweeting will cause huge problems.

GOP will never embrace Trump.

Trump will get nothing important done.

Trump will not work effectively with leaders of other countries.

GOP senators will vote against GOP priorities because of President Trump’s mean tweets.

Trump will not nominate qualified judges to the Supreme Court.

Trump is incompetent.

Presidential approval polls are a good predictor of how a president will perform.

The military won’t follow Trump’s orders.

GDP will never stay above 3%.

— end —

I didn’t get any of those predictions wrong. But if you got 15 or more wrong, you might want to consider never saying anything about politics out loud again for the rest of your life. Just a suggestion.

Clinton supporter expresses surprise at his lack of prescience

Okay, okay. I know you are quibbling with a few items I included on the list. Maybe you think the bad news for Trump — such as the alleged Russia problems — will sink Trump eventually. We can revisit this list next year. But if you are wrong for three years straight — about almost everything Trump-related — please adjust your confidence in your predictive powers accordingly.

If you got 15 or more of those predictions wrong, please consider reading a copy of my book, Win Bigly, to learn how to use what I call the Persuasion Filter to predict better.

The post How to Determine If You Should Talk About Politics in Public appeared first on Dilbert Blog.


Dilbert Blog

The Voice Season 13: Who Should Win?

The Voice, season 13We’ve reached another season finale of The Voice, and with that comes a new winner!
Tonight, the final four sang their hearts out in multiple performances of original songs, covers,…


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Why Black Lives Matter (BLM) and Republicans are Natural Allies (or should be)

One of the big changes in our national consciousness, thanks to President Trump, is that many of us are starting to see politics in terms of “deals.” We are also thinking about a growing economy. Compare that approach to the Obama/Bernie/Clinton worldview that is more about wealth transfer in a world of scarcity. For my purposes today, you don’t need to decide which approach is better. I only make the claim that we are more focused on the Art of the Deal than at any time in American politics. This is one of the many ways President Trump is in our heads.

And the deal-making mindset, along with some lucky coincidences, has created the greatest opportunity for improvement that the African-American community has seen in decades. At the same time, Republicans have a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to earn a larger share of the black vote in 2018 and beyond. All we are missing is the right deal. Is there a potential deal that is good for President Trump and the GOP while also being good for BLM?

Yes. And it isn’t even hard.

I’ll get to that deal after some necessary context. (It’s worth your time.)

You probably remember that candidate Trump famously asked African-American voters during the campaign “What the hell do you have to lose?” It sounded like a weak offer when I first heard it. But combined with his deal-making approach to politics, you could also see it as an invitation to pitch some ideas. The door is open.

Some of you might recall that when Colin Kaepernick started the kneeling trend in the NFL, I publicly offered to help translate any ideas he might have for improving the lives of black Americans into “Republican language” so there would be some hope of persuading the group that held the most political power. I never heard any specific suggestions from Kaepernick. But as I often say, he gets full credit as a Master Persuader for capturing our attention and holding it. He has skin in the game, he broke no laws, and he turned a back-burner issue in America into a front-burner issue. I give Kaepernick an A+ for American activism. Was Kaepernick offensive to people who love the flag and respect the police? Absolutely. That’s why we paid so much attention. But he didn’t break anything except for the way we think, and that was his objective.

As of this writing, Kaepernick only got us halfway to where he wants us to be. He lacked specific suggestions for improvement. Black Lives Matter has been similar. They get high marks for attracting attention, but they have so far been more provocative than helpful. I need to pause here to tell you that BLM has a wide range of personalities and priorities in it. On one extreme you have folks who are anti-police, anti-borders, pro-violence, and other unhelpful positions. But other chapters support the rule of law, including support for police, and are looking for practical solutions to real problems. If you dislike the extremists in BLM, consider supporting the BLM leaders who are focused on peaceful and practical solutions. That’s the mindset that gave us Martin Luther King Jr. I think that worked out for everyone.

Black Lives Matter (NY Chapter), under the leadership of Hawk Newsome, just came up with a set of suggested improvements that can — with a little negotiating — appeal to both Democrats and Republicans. If both parties like what they see, Republicans have the stronger hand because they are in power at the moment. The tie goes to the party that can make things happen. Love him or hate him, President Trump does make things happen. And he likes making deals. In other words, BLM of NY is answering President Trump’s invitation with a “What do you have to lose?” offer of their own.

If you have the time to hear my persuasive pitch of BLM-NY’s ideas on video, see them here. For the full persuasive effect, watch the video before reading the “spoilers” that follow. But this blog post can be consumed without watching the video.

I contacted Hawk Newsome to see how I could help his cause after watching a video in which he flipped a crowd of Trump-supporters from haters to friends in about five minutes. It was one of the most impressive acts of persuasion I have ever seen. Watch it here and see what I mean. This isn’t the BLM you thought you knew.

Hawk shared with me an early version of his chapter’s suggested improvements for the country. Again, I was impressed. The suggestions were beneficial to Americans in general, not just the black community, although that group might feel they have the most to gain, and perhaps they do. This was the same sort of persuasion strategy that got President Obama elected twice. Obama emphasized his policies, not his color, and that approach allowed people of every ethnicity to support him. BLM of NY figured out how to do the same thing. They offer practical suggestions that are designed to be good for people in general. I can support that.

Prior to publication of BLM-NY’s suggestions, I ran them past a prominent Republican to see what he thought. To my surprise, the prominent Republican — who shall remain nameless for now — told me BLM was thinking too small. So he offered as an alternative some bigger themes that I’ll share with you first because these are quite compatible with BLM’s priorities.

A Prominent Republican’s Vision for Improving Black Lives (because they matter):

  1. Create safer neighborhoods to attract jobs and create optimism.
  2. Fix school bureaucracies in communities where students are failing.
  3. Create apprenticeships for unskilled adults
  4. Address the opiod epidemic directly and by improving the environment.

You probably think those are good priorities. BLM agrees. And if I took it further and asked you which group thinks Charter schools are a good idea, you might be surprised to learn that the answer is “both.” On the big stuff, and on much of the small stuff too, BLM is entirely compatible with Republican ideals. When you are trying to make a deal, it helps to start with the parts upon which you agree.

Now I’ll share with you the BLM-NY list of suggestions. These ideas go directly to improving the credibility of the police. Republicans want the police to be credible too. Republicans also like good data, the rule of law, voting participation, and legal decisions that are free of bias. That’s what BLM-NY is focused on too. Here’s their list. Notice that every suggestion is useful for citizens in general, not just one ethnic group.

Ideas from Black Lives Matter – New York

  1. Prosecute and jail police that falsify reports.
  2. Police must call an ambulance if defendant complains of illness.
  3. Voting rights for people in prison
  4. Independent prosecutors for police killings of unarmed civilians.
  5. Comprehensive national database of police shootings.
  6. New York holiday for Day of Remembrance for victims of police brutality.

I’ll discuss these points in order.

Prosecute and jail police that falsify reports.

I think most Republicans would agree that a police officer who falsifies a police report must be held accountable. Republicans like the rule of law, and they like honesty. So far, BLM and Republicans are on the same page.

Police must call an ambulance if defendant complains of illness.

You might not know that people in police custody have died while begging for medical care that was not granted. I think we’d all want access to emergency medical care if we were in police custody. You might see some abuses of the system, but I think we’d all agree this one is worth discussing.

Voting rights for people in prison

I’ve never understood why prisoners lose the right to vote. Voting makes people feel part of the system. It seems like one of the few psychological influences that can nudge law-breakers toward becoming law-abiding. Realistically, only a small percentage of convicted criminals would bother to vote. The prickly part is that most would (presumably) vote Democrat. But Republicans can compete for those votes, and should. A good start would involve taking the lead in returning the vote to that class of folks.

Independent prosecutors for police killings of unarmed civilians.

Why not try independent prosecutors for police shootings of unarmed civilians? You could test it in one city or more and see how it goes. Budget-wise, I suspect we’d be better off in the long run with this sort of credibility-improving process. Perhaps you’d get less after-verdict violence. It’s worth discussing, and probably worth testing somewhere.

Comprehensive national database of police shootings.

Republicans will argue that the data does not show police are more violent with black suspects. African-Americans will tell you their lived experience says otherwise. BLM-NY offers the only sensible way forward, recommending national standards for reporting police violence against unarmed civilians. Who hates better data?

New York holiday for Day of Remembrance for victims of police brutality.

New York can decide on whether or not it wants a Day of Remembrance for victims of police brutality. I think the idea as proposed is divisive, framing the situation as one in which police are the bad guys. The point of the suggestion is to keep the problem of police violence against unarmed citizens in our thoughts, but I’m sure there’s a more productive way to do that. For example, if BLM and the GOP find a way to work together on some parts of this list, no one will forget that anytime soon. I prefer focusing on the positives.

Now consider how perfect the set-up is for a win-win deal between African-American voters and the GOP. President Trump’s biggest political problem is the perception that he’s a racist. Improving the economy and the job market doesn’t fix that problem, although it helps. But taking seriously BLM-NY’s list of suggestions — in some negotiated and improved form — would be a game-changer.

President Obama was hugely popular among black voters, but there is a sense in the African-American community that he didn’t deliver. Democrats have no charismatic leader at the moment, and not much power at the federal level compared to the GOP. Never before has the GOP been in such a strong position to make a play for a good portion of the African-American vote. All they need to do to get the ball rolling is take BLM-NY’s suggestions seriously as a basis for a deal. And BLM-NY is making that easy by presenting practical ideas that are not race-specific.

I spoke with Hawk again yesterday and both of us had just watched the recent viral video of a police shooting of an unarmed man in a hallway as it had been recorded on the police officer’s body cam. When you see the video you can understand why the cop opened fire. The man was reportedly armed, according to the initial call to police, and refused to keep his hands where he was ordered to keep them. In this case, the body cam protected the police officer as well as the reputation of the police by showing us exactly how the tragedy unfolded. Hawk and I were left wondering if a greater focus on body cams for police would be a practical approach to building confidence between the black community and police. I don’t know the answer, but here again we see a practical idea that I assume Republicans can embrace.

And to that I say, why the hell not?

 

The post Why Black Lives Matter (BLM) and Republicans are Natural Allies (or should be) appeared first on Dilbert Blog.


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4 Grooming Product Ingredients You Should Be Avoiding

When it comes to improving your overall health, there’s a lot you can do. You stop drinking booze if you have liver problems. You avoid cholesterol if you starts showing signs of heart disease. So why do most men continue to completely overlook the massive organ that holds it all together? It’s time we break down what should be going on with with your skincare routine.

The post 4 Grooming Product Ingredients You Should Be Avoiding appeared first on Men's Journal.

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4 Grooming Product Ingredients You Should Be Avoiding

When it comes to improving your overall health, there’s a lot you can do. You stop drinking booze if you have liver problems. You avoid

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All Is As All Should Be – EP

The Dear Hunter

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Price: $ 4.99

Release Date: December 1, 2017

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24 Things Every Man Should Have in His Closet

Style is about as subjective as it gets. Because it's, ultimately, an expression of who you are, it’s one of many things in life that’s so intensely personal that people can get emotional if you give them the slightest suggestion that you don't like an element of what they're wearing.

But with most things, there are basic guidelines around the most essential items a guy needs to have

This article originally appeared on www.mensjournal.com: 24 Things Every Man Should Have in His Closet

Men’s Journal Latest Style News

When You Ride Alone You Ride with bin Laden: What the Government Should Be Telling Us to Help Fight the War on Terrorism (Unabridged) – Bill Maher

Bill Maher - When You Ride Alone You Ride with bin Laden: What the Government Should Be Telling Us to Help Fight the War on Terrorism (Unabridged)  artwork

When You Ride Alone You Ride with bin Laden: What the Government Should Be Telling Us to Help Fight the War on Terrorism (Unabridged)

Bill Maher

Genre: Comedy

Price: $ 17.95

Publish Date: November 8, 2002

© ℗ © 2002 Phoenix Books

iTunes Store: Top Audiobooks in Comedy

‘Housewives’ Star Vicki Gunvalson Say’s Tamra Judge’s Husband Should Come Out If He’s Gay

[[tmz:video id=”0_c73c9i2r”]] ‘Real Housewives’ star Vicki Gunvalson isn’t doing a damn thing to shut down the rumor that’s become a big thing on the show … that Tamra Judge’s husband, Eddie, might be gay. The “OG from the OC” caught some heat…

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Songs We Love: Rapsody, ‘You Should Know (Feat. Busta Rhymes)’

Rapsody

“Influenced by many, but I’m a whole new star.” Rapsody ascends on the shapeshifting first single from Laila’s Wisdom.

(Image credit: Kevin Mazur/Getty Images for Anheuser-Busch)


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ADULT ENTERTAINMENT NEWS UPDATE:Gabby Love’s top pick! Click and enjoy!

You Should Be Here – Cole Swindell

Cole Swindell - You Should Be Here  artwork

You Should Be Here

Cole Swindell

Genre: Country

Price: $ 5.99

Release Date: May 6, 2016

© ℗ 2015, 2016 Warner Music Nashville LLC for the U.S. and WEA International Inc. for the world outside the U.S.

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Anal The Way It Should Be Viewed: POV Style / Anal The Way It Should Be Viewed: POV Style – Video 2

Anal The Way It Should Be Viewed: POV Style – Video 2

Get ready to have a special night with these amazingly sexy ladies and get lucky with some hot anal penetration in this hot DVD packed with amazing POV action all shot in stunning HD!

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Bridget Foley’s Diary: When Should Ivanka Cry Uncle Over Dad?

Before the presidential campaign and election, Ivanka Trump self-identified and was perceived as a businesswoman passionate about women’s empowerment. You’d have been hard-pressed to hear someone speak negatively about her, with words such as lovely, hard-working, self-directed and genuine typical descriptives.

 
And then, Dad ran for president and won.
 
Throughout and after the election, and especially since her role in the Trump administration shifted from merely “daughter,” as she said she initially intended, to G-20 Summit-attending formal adviser, Ivanka has taken her hits, critics questioning not only her qualifications but also her motives and her silence in light of various presidential outbursts. Following President Trump’s shocking equal assignation last weekend of “blame on both sides” when white supremacists, many brandishing swastikas, stormed Charlottesville, Va., to protest the planned removal of a statue of Robert E. Lee, the criticism escalated exponentially, with many wondering, how could Ivanka not speak out? 
 
Whether or not she knew just what she was getting into in accepting her White House role, surely Ivanka knows her father, and she is accustomed to life in shared spotlights, his and her own. Though thrust into the former as a child when her parents’ public marital woes made for tabloid grist, she chose the latter early on. An adolescent flirtation with modeling crossed over to television; at 15,

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Anal The Way It Should Be Viewed: POV Style / Anal The Way It Should Be Viewed: POV Style – Video 1

Anal The Way It Should Be Viewed: POV Style – Video 1

Get ready to have a special night with these amazingly sexy ladies and get lucky with some hot anal penetration in this hot DVD packed with amazing POV action all shot in stunning HD!

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Why You Should Brush Your Face

How do you apply your shaving cream? While a national survey says most men still go for hands over bristles, the demand for brushes is growing rapidly. A status symbol when they first appeared in 18th century France, the luxe, soft applicator’s popularity is on the rise in the US.

For those new to the brush experience, it’s not always clear what the hype is all

This article originally appeared on www.mensjournal.com: Why You Should Brush Your Face

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Anal The Way It Should Be Viewed: POV Style / Anal The Way It Should Be Viewed: POV Style – Video 4

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Get ready to have a special night with these amazingly sexy ladies and get lucky with some hot anal penetration in this hot DVD packed with amazing POV action all shot in stunning HD!

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You Should Clean Your Face with Mud

Gifted by many a knowing wife, Portland General Store’s Face Bomb ($ 28 at Jet.com) is the stuff your face needs to remove all the grime (and rough spots, red splotches, unexpected breakouts, blackheads, and dull skin) that daily life sends your way.

Face Bomb is the manly version of all

This article originally appeared on www.mensjournal.com: You Should Clean Your Face with Mud

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Sarah Huckabee Sanders Learns Why You Should Never Ever Wear Green On TV

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SHHHHHH – Somebody Disses Jay-Z…That Should Just Shut Up.

TELL DUDE HE’S A VISITOR!
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I’m Not Black I’m Mike Vick Says Colin Kaepernick Should Cut His Afro

Mike Vick knows exactly how Colin Kaepernick, a more than capable NFL quarterback, can lock down a gig. The fellow QB says Kap should cut his afro.

Que?

While on FS1’s Speak for Yourself, Vick said Kap should clean up his look, and that his political protests have nothing to do with why he is still a free agent.

Again, what?

Yeah, Mike Vick, who had his career railroaded because he was a Black guy who made a poor decision, thinks race has nothing to do with Kap getting curved, while a guy like Johnny Manziel is fielding phone calls from teams.

Needless to say, Twitter came through with copious amounts of slander.


Photo: screen cap

The post I’m Not Black I’m Mike Vick Says Colin Kaepernick Should Cut His Afro appeared first on Hip-Hop Wired.

Hip-Hop Wired

‘Bachelor’ Alum AshLee Frazier Thinks Corinne and DeMario Should Hook Up

[[tmz:video id=”0_m5rhcacw”]] Former “Bachelor” contestant AshLee Frazier thinks nothing untoward happened between Corinne and DeMario on “Bachelor in Paradise” and strongly believes they should come back and hook up. We got the Season 17 alum at LAX…

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Teen Mum Decision: Should Megan Have Stayed With Her Unfaithful Fiancé?

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Should I Stay or Should I Go? How to Know When It’s Time to Leave a Relationship

There are actually many signs, if we pay attention. But signs or not, we might hesitate to leave a relationship out of insecurity or uncertainty. We may doubt ourselves and wonder if it’s really the right thing to do. We wonder if we should give our partner one more chance, even though we’ve already given him a hundred before that. In a bad relationship, we can lose sight of our direction, get derailed from our life, disconnected from our friends, our family, and our work, and still find ourselves struggling to make that difficult and FINAL decision… even though in our heart of hearts… we know.

The truth is, if we get quiet within ourselves, and really listen, we always know if something or someone is right for us. Not only that, we probably have known right from the start. If we remember back to when we first met, we can remember that those doubts and concerns were there in the first two or three meetings. But as time went by, we may have downplayed those concerns, covering them over with hopeful thinking. But if we are really honest with ourselves…we knew.

Don’t feel badly though, that you may have put a soft filter on the state of the relationship. You are human after all. You were giving them the benefit of the doubt. You were giving them a chance. You were “waiting and seeing.” And that is only right. You can only discover what the nature of a relationship is by being in it. However, there can come a point in a relationship where you can see that it is clearly not working. And as you realize this, there comes from deep within yourself, a seismic inner nudge that is encouraging you, showing you, reminding you, sometimes even shouting at you, that it is time to take action.

Because of the complexity of intimacy and the intricate dance of relationship, we can be confused about what to do, when to do it, or even if we should. But once realized, the sooner is the better — like before you buy a house together, or conceive a child, or change your lives so radically that it is practically impossible to back up.

It is true; it is hard to always gauge accurately when things are not working — really not working. But once you recognize that the connection is not strong enough to hold, and that the two of you are not able to work through it, then it is time to let go of the relationship.

So, instead of prolonging or procrastinating, when you finally have the courage to know what you know, and really, to know what you knew all along — then it becomes easier to have “the conversation” that really was inevitable.

I could have titled this blog When to Let Go. There is an art to life, and one of the graces of life is to know when to let go. The longer you delay, the more suffering there will be. If a relationship is really not working and has become untenable, then for everyone’s sake you need to release it. This mindful act of conscious closure then, actually becomes a gift of compassion to both of you. And, by doing so, it sets you both free to find real happiness.

Diana Lang is a spiritual teacher and author of
OPENING TO MEDITATION. www.DianaLang.com

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Why You Should Match Your Eyeshadow to Your Favorite Jeans This Season

denim inspired eyeshadow

In light of Vogue’s current denim marathon, we’re suddenly feeling drawn to all things blue: blue flowers, blue sweaters, and, best of all, blue makeup. For girls who live in their jeans (and aren’t afraid to experiment a little with their beauty look), what better way to complement those crisp new skinnies than with a matching swipe of eyeshadow? Bold shades of azure, sky, and sapphire were spotted on the recent Spring ’16 runways at shows like Diane von Furstenberg, Dries Van Noten, and Marc Jacobs, where they were painted onto lids and smudged on lash lines with painterly flair. And rest assured, there’s a color and technique to suit every taste. Think of it like choosing a denim wash: Some of us prefer faded vintage jeans, while others stick to classic navy or ’70s-era cobalt. And no matter which shade you choose, you can’t go wrong with a simple scribble of liner (à la Jonathan Saunders) or a bright, Pop Art smudge of cream (seen at Missoni). In the slideshow above, we paired the season’s best street style jeans with the products to match; true denim-heads will want to try them all.

 

The post Why You Should Match Your Eyeshadow to Your Favorite Jeans This Season appeared first on Vogue.

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Should Christian Couples Be Kissing Before Marriage?

Many Christian couples engage is premarital kissing, but that doesn’t make it right. The Bible is our moral standard, so that is what we look to for an answer.
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Samantha Hoopes Calls Out Blake Griffin … We Should Bang! (VIDEO)

[[tmz:video id=”0_n0mga67c”]] Dear Blake Griffin … PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO THIS VIDEO!!!!!  S.I. swimsuit model Samantha Hoopes just called you out by name — she thinks you’re cute, she likes your freckles … and she totally wants to hook…

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6 Things Working Women Should Never Write in Email

working women

By now, you’ve likely heard about the essay Jennifer Lawrence wrote for the Lenny newsletter discussing the gender pay gap earlier this week. If not, here’s a quick synopsis: JLaw explained that after the Sony hack—which leaked emails showing she took home a lot less money than her American Hustle male costars Jeremy Renner, Christian Bale, and Bradley Cooper—she was mad. Not at Sony necessarily, but at herself. “I failed as a negotiator because I gave up early,” Lawrence wrote. She goes on to add that she didn’t barter aggressively because she didn’t want to be perceived as abrasive, but concludes by writing: “I’m over trying to find the ‘adorable’ way to state my opinion and still be likable!” Amen, sister.

On the heels of this, Alexandra Petri at The Washington Post geniusly took things one step further—identifying a language called “Woman in a Meeting,” and then translating famous sentences in history into how a woman in a meeting would have said them (An example: “Give me liberty, or give me death.” Woman in a Meeting: “Dave, if I could, I could just—I just really feel like if we had liberty it would be terrific, and the alternative would just be awful, you know? That’s just how it strikes me. I don’t know.”)

As a women’s studies minor and English literature major who’s now a working mom, and who’s read Tina Fey’s Bossy Pants, Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In, and Anne Marie Slaughter’s “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All,” this kind of speak is something I think about a lot. I’ve definitely recast an email a time or two because I’m cognizant of the Woman in a Meeting linguistic crutches and I don’t want to succumb to them. Sometimes I succeed—and sometimes I fail, giving in to the societal pull to sound less direct than I’d like out of a fear of seeming pushy, bossy, or, worst of all, shrill. I can guarantee these are things most men don’t spend time pondering. Don’t misread me, I’m not saying their way is always the right way. What I am saying is I’ve compiled a list of five words and phrases I’m actively trying to ban from sent folder. Working women: Please take note.

1. “I’m sorry . . .”
I’m not sorry anymore! We have to stop apologizing for asking people to do things, particularly when it’s something that’s part of their job.

2. “Just . . .”
We need to stop using this word as a way to weaken a request or our opinion.

3. “This might be a stupid question but . . .”
Like they said in school, there are no stupid questions. Well, sometimes there are—but ask, don’t caveat.

4. “I may be wrong but . . .”
Don’t lessen the impact of what you say before you say it.

5. “If you want my two cents . . . ”
A man usually gives his three cents and he certainly doesn’t offset it with this phrase.

6. “Does this make sense?”
I do this one a lot, and I can’t stand it. Trust that what you wrote makes sense. Don’t openly question in email whether or not your thinking is sensical.

The post 6 Things Working Women Should Never Write in Email appeared first on Vogue.

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If I Should Go Before You – City and Colour


If I Should Go Before You
City and Colour

Release Date:
October 9, 2015
Total Songs:
11

Genre:
Alternative

Price:
$ 9.99

Copyright
℗ 2015 City and Colour. Under exclusive license to Dine Alone Music Inc.


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Jim Diamond, Singer of ’80s Hit ‘I Should Have Known Better’, Dies at 64

Jim Diamond, the British singer who fronted the electro-pop band PhD and landed an international solo hit with the 1984 ballad “I Should Have…
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19 Things No Woman Should Have To Apologize For

1. Existing in a body, no matter what that body looks like. Leaving your “too skinny,” “too fat,” “too pear-shaped” judgments at the door. Self-hatred takes way too much time and energy, and you don’t owe anyone an explanation for your body type.

2. Loving how she looks. You’re badass and beautiful, and should be allowed to know that and admit it.

3. Having a strong opinion. Change comes from those who speak up.

4. Expressing said strong opinion on the Internet. Being a woman on the Internet can provide an incredible outlet for expression and access many supportive communities. It can also be a cesspool of garbage humans spewing said garbage into your Twitter/Tumblr/Instagram/Facebook feed. (See this, this and this if you’re not sure what I’m talking about.) A troll’s abuse should not trump a woman’s right to speak her mind.

5. Being single. No, you are not defined by your lack of a romantic partner, no matter how young or old you are.

6. Being in a relationship. No, you are not defined by your romantic partner, no matter how young or old you are.

7. Wanting a relationship. There’s no shame in looking for love and expressing that you wish it was something you had.

8. Not wanting a relationship. You do you, girl.

9. Wanting to have children. Own your desires. And remember that a partner is not necessarily required to fulfill this one.

10. Not wanting to have children. People love to ask childfree women if/when/why they are or are not going to have kids. But if you want to be childfree, you don’t owe anyone answers to needlessly invasive questions about your reproductive plans.

11. Having an abortion. Your body, your (legal and constitutionally protected!) choice.

12. Not smiling every waking moment of every day. FYI, random men on the street, we don’t grin ear to ear on our way to work every morning because we aren’t cyborgs.

13. Making more money than a male partner. Or a female partner, for that matter.

14. Being ambitious. In the words of Beyoncé: “I’m not bossy, I’m the boss.”

15. Her success. If someone is going to be threatened by what you’ve accomplished, then #BYE. 

16. Having sex. Screw being slut-shamed. If it’s fun and consensual, more power to you. 

17. Not having sex. It’s your body, so you decide where your boundaries are.

18. Having emotions — and showing that you have them. Feel free to be sad/angry/overjoyed/frustrated/ecstatic, and show it any goddamn way you see fit.

19. Not being enough. Because, you are.

Also on HuffPost:  

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Style – The Huffington Post
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3 Pairs of Jeans You Should Definitely Not Have in Your Closet

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You’ve Probably Heard This Sex Advice Before — But Here’s Why You Should Pay Attention

Couples looking to spice up their sex lives often assume the effort involves some grand overhaul of intimacy and a venture into uncharted territory to have any real impact in the bedroom — not so, says Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus author John Gray. He’s been counseling couples for years in the art of communication and connection, and as he tells “Oprah: Where Are They Now — Extra,” the key to spicing up a sex life is actually a very familiar one.

“Romance spices up a sex life,” he says. And it doesn’t have to be complicated.

“Romance is when the man plans something in advance that’s out of the ordinary, and the woman anticipates that. She’s looking forward to that,” he continues. “It’s one-sided. It’s what he’s going to do for her.”

Gray suggests having a discussion with your partner a week in advance about what this planned event should be. The discussion, he adds, should be a true back-and-forth conversation, not a guessing game in which one person is unclear about what the other is looking for. 

“She’s going to inform him of three things that would really make her happy… His job is to provide that for her,” Gray says. “Then, when they actually do it, her job is to be happy while he provides that. That’s the dance of romance.”

The anticipation in this scenario is what’s truly effective. As the anticipation builds, so does the sense of romance, according to Gray. “At that time, oxytocin is being produced that lowers her stress and increases her romantic feelings,” he explains.

So, Gray continues, make sure that you don’t wait until the last minute when trying to do something “romantic.”

“Most married men wait until the weekend and say to their wives, ‘What would you like to do? I’ll do anything,'” Gray says. “That’s not romantic, and men don’t realize that.”

On that actual date, don’t forget to appreciate each other and resurface the initial spark that brought you together. “You know, when you were dating a guy, no matter what happened, you were happy just to be with him,” Gray says. “You’ve got to find that part of you and be happy no matter what, because he’s doing his best.”

This visible happiness is what helps one romantic gesture turn into a continual cycle of romance.

“When you’re happy with a man doing his best, next time he’ll do better,” Gray says. “That’s what motivates men. So that’s a secret of creating romance: plan in advance.”

For more from “Oprah: Where Are They Now?”, visit wherearetheynow.buzz.

More from Oprah.com:

How much romance does a long-standing marriage need?

The 3 types of sex every couple should be having

7 steps to rescuing romance

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Jordan Bratton Charmingly Covered Travis Scott’s “Drugs You Should Try”

This sick young singer is definitely someone to check out. Jordan Bratton has been dropping a couple of singles lately on Soundcloud. This week, he released a cover of “Drugs You Should Try It”, a single originally made by Travis Scott off of Days Before Rodeo. Bratton’s cover of the single takes on a new approach, featuring Bratton’s voice lead over a piano.

Bratton’s currently on tour, Check out his Youth EP:

Filed under: Alternatives, Music, Videos Tagged: Drugs You Should Try It, Jordan Bratton, Travi$ Scott, Travis Scott
Hip Hop News, Interviews and Music: Allhiphop.com

All a Man Should Do – Lucero

Lucero - All a Man Should Do  artwork

All a Man Should Do

Lucero

Genre: Alternative

Price: $ 9.99

Expected Release Date: September 18, 2015

© ℗ 2015 ATO Records, LLC

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Why You Should be Paying Attention to Serena Williams’s Fashion Collection

Photo: HSN


gigi hadid lily aldridge

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Photo: HSN

You know Serena Williams as the 21 Grand Slam–winning tennis star, whose fierceness on the court is only rivaled by her kindness off it. But there’s another passion Williams has been quietly pursuing for years: fashion design. Williams is no ordinary celebrity-turned-designer. Consider her boundary-pushing court style, her two years of fashion school, and her experience designing her own collections at HSN and Nike. It was with HSN that she presented a Spring 2016 collection at New York Fashion Week earlier today, to an audience including Anna Wintour, Gigi Hadid, Lily Aldridge, and her rumored paramour, Drake.

“I’ve always loved fashion. I was always that girl that played with my dolls, and I went to fashion school, so it’s not just made up for me. It’s actually something that I really enjoy and that I have a lot of fun with,” Williams told Vogue.com backstage before her show. Though she’s shown her HSN collection at Fashion Week once before, her latest collection bears her influence to a greater extent. Not only did she work closely with Guillaume Poupart, chief merchandising officer of Tiger J LLC, on each item, but she also sketched and designed the finale dress, a backless black number trimmed in fringe. “I love seeing something on paper and then seeing it in real life,” she said, motioning toward the piece. “Each time, even when I do it with Nike, I still get chills.”

Williams called the collection “a little bit retro, romantic, and extremely innovative.” The fringed suede jackets and dresses are decidedly more posh than your typical HSN fare, and the shearling pieces are expected to retail at a luxury price point. “I want [my customers] to feel empowered. I want them to feel beautiful. The collection works on every size person. You should [be able] to look good and feel good and love who you are and, at the same time, be stylish. We want our ladies to be stylish, too,” she smiled.

The post Why You Should be Paying Attention to Serena Williams’s Fashion Collection appeared first on Vogue.

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Quiz: Which ‘Golden Girls’-inspired cheesecake should you eat?

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Vogue’s Fall Movie Guide: 24 Movies You Should Watch This Season

hunger games mockingjay part 2

If spring is the season of slim pickings at the movies, and summer the time for celluloid junk food, then autumn—the season of mists and mellow fruitfulness, as John Keats once called it—is when the cinematic chefs serve up their most ambitious fare. Every single week you’ll find movies that, even if they aren’t always good, are genuinely trying to be. Here are the ones we’re really looking forward to.

The post Vogue’s Fall Movie Guide: 24 Movies You Should Watch This Season appeared first on Vogue.

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WIRED Live – Tech Entrepreneur & Investor Chris Dixon Explains Why You Should Give a Damn About Bitcoin

Chris Dixon, general partner at venture capital firm Andreessen Horowitz, thinks you should reconsider the power of bitcoin. In conversation with WIRED’s Steven Levy, the tech entrepreneur and investor explains why the digital payment system has the potential to enable new behaviors and innovations.
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Why Every 2016 Candidate Should Get Out While They Still Can

By now, if you’re one of the people who decided to embark on the strange and wonderful journey of becoming president, you’ve probably experienced a lot of personal highs. You’ve traveled to far-flung parts of the country and met some great people. You’ve gotten your mug on television and have been chased down by reporters. You’ve met some of our weirdest billionaires, eaten some state fair food and participated in a candidate debate. What an experience this has been! 

Well, hope you took some ‘Grams because it’s time to get out while the getting’s good.

What? You don’t understand what we’re talking about? Look, we’re going to let you in on a little secret. “President of the United States” is a terrible and thankless job that doesn’t pay well and subjects you to relentless criticism. The power’s not all it’s cracked up to be and the perks get old. Plus, any time something goes wrong in the world, you’re the first person everyone calls. 

This job sucks, and if you’re smart, you’ll let someone else do it. Besides, every single one of you has a good reason to quit the race. Maybe you’re not aware of it, but trust us, we’ve seen it. And on this week’s First To Last, we’ll tell each of you the reason it’s time for you to make your Irish goodbye.

RANK CANDIDATE
1
HILLARY CLINTON
You have more money than God, nearly as much fame — and you don’t look like you’re enjoying running for president at all. Escape.
2
JEB BUSH
Good God, man, the most exciting thing that’s happened to you so far is you won Eric Cantor’s endorsement. Take your weight loss and run with it.
3
MARCO RUBIO
You’re young, you’ve still got student loans and a fresh face that could get bruised in this Trumped-up slap-fight. Buy yourself a larger boat and sail away, sail away, sail away.
4
BERNIE SANDERS
Bernie, you’re a great guy. But some of your most dedicated Twitter followers are feeling the Bern way too much. Cool those jets.
5
DONALD TRUMP
Dude, you have lost a ton of prestige for a job you don’t even want. Why go on? Eject.
6
SCOTT WALKER
Wow, this is a lot harder than you thought it was gonna be, isn’t it? Take a powder.
7
BEN CARSON
We can’t get our heads around the fact that you used to be so good at something so hard — and now you’re doing the opposite. Stay in your lane.
8
MIKE HUCKABEE
At this point, you’re probably in a good position to up your salary at Fox. Get back to it before you blow it.
9
TED CRUZ
More than almost anyone else, Donald Trump stole your thunder. Retreat.
10
RAND PAUL
Remember a minute ago when we said almost anyone else? Recharge.
11
JOHN KASICH
Ever get the nagging sensation that this is probably as good as it’s ever going to get? Peace out.
12
CARLY FIORINA
It’s wrong you have to fight CNN to get into the debate, but what a sad thing to be fighting for. Take it on the arches.
13
LINDSEY GRAHAM
Whoa, Lindsey, you said that you were gonna beat Donald Trump’s brains out? Man, you better really mean that! If not, you’ve got to hit the bricks.
14
CHRIS CHRISTIE
And how are you gonna let Lindsey Graham become the anti-Trump alpha dog? Son, hit the showers.
15
MARTIN O’MALLEY
You can stay because we need someone to end lists with.

Candidate Photos: Getty, Associated Press

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Future Lawyers Should Be Screened and Trained for Empathy

I recently read an article by Jill Suttie titled “Should We Train Doctors for Empathy?” The article states in pertinent part as follows:

“While we all want great medical care, we also want doctors who listen to us and convey empathy–an understanding of our feelings and concerns, reflected in a warm demeanor. This can help us to trust and feel connected to them. But that combination can be hard to find….

Following a wave of research suggesting the far-reaching benefits of emotionally attuned physicians, leaders [in the medical profession] have been exploring ways to infuse more empathy into the medical field. That includes re-evaluating the criteria for who should get admitted to medical school in the first place, and what they should learn while they’re there. Their reforms raise questions about what constitutes quality medical care, how (and whether) it can be trained, and how much change is even possible in the American medical system today.”

That article discussed the increase in satisfaction level and response from the patients of empathic physicians and the positive impact it had on the doctors themselves in that they “experience less stress, cynicism, and burnout than those with less empathy.” It also mentioned that the current way in which doctors are trained causes an “erosion of empathy.”

The comparison between medicine and law is striking in this regard.

Those who tend to be attracted to law school in the first place tend to be logical thinkers (rule oriented) and have low EQ levels. Moreover, the research indicates that the training students receive in law school also causes an “erosion of empathy.” Furthermore, the more empathic students tend to drop out of law school at a much higher rate. Moreover, “lawyers with ‘higher levels of resilience, empathy, initiative and sociability’ are more likely to leave law practice than those with lower levels of those traits.” In fact, “some US law firms have used this assessment metric (a scale to measure sociopaths on a scale of 0 to 40, with higher levels being extreme behaviour) in their hiring practice, preferring to employ lawyers with sociopathic index close to 29.

The public’s perception of attorneys reflects this reality. In fact, in 2002, the Section of Litigation of the American Bar Association prepared a report entitled, “Public Perceptions of Lawyers Consumer Research Findings”. The findings were as follows: “The legal profession is among the least reputed institutions in American society…. Lawyers have a reputation for winning at all costs, and for being driven by profit and self-interest, rather than client interest.” Lawyers “are believed to manipulate both the system and the truth…. Lawyers’ tactics are said to border on the unethical, and even illegal. This idea does not just come from the media. Personal experiences bear it out.” Sadly, the findings from all subsequent research has been very much the same.

Unfortunately, that’s not all. The following quote from an article by J. Randolph Evans and Shari Klevens titled “Awareness can save lawyers in distress” that was published in the August 14, 2015 edition of the Los Angeles Daily Journal is consistent with everything I have read on the subject:

“The numbers are shocking and sad. Although suicide is the 10th leading cause of death among all Americans, it is the third leading cause of death among attorneys, after cancer and heart disease. That’s nearly six times the suicide rate for the general population….

[A]ttorneys as a group are very susceptible to succumbing to the pressures of a professional practice. Sometimes this means the abuse of narcotics and alcohol, depression and abandonment of clients and practices. Other times it means a state of ultimate hopelessness – suicide.”

According to the American Bar Association, “it is estimated that 18 to 20 percent of the nation’s lawyers abuse alcohol or drugs. By comparison, among the general population, including persons in other highly stressful professions such as physicians and pilots, the estimated rate of chemical abuse is at a much lower eight to ten percent.”

While many law schools now offer courses in mediation, they tend to be elective courses and therefore many law students don’t take them. Furthermore, merely teaching mediation techniques is inadequate because that alone doesn’t help to increase the students’ EQ levels. While emotional intelligence skills can be learned, those skills must be internalized to be effective. Otherwise, our habitual way of reacting or behaving during conflict will preempt any training we receive.

Social and emotional skills such as empathy are essential to conflict resolution. Therefore, those best suited to work in conflict resolution should have high EQ levels (Emotional Intelligence). People frequently confuse “conflict resolution or management” with “dispute resolution.” Conflicts are emotional and disputes are fact-based.

Legal disputes are typically resolved through litigation or litigated negotiation, which are adversarial processes and thereby exacerbate the conflict in order to resolve the dispute. Since conflicts and disputes are often confused or intertwined, it is essential that lawyers be better trained in resolving, or at least de-escalating conflicts. People with low EQ levels can generally resolve disputes, but not the underlying conflicts.

People with high EQ levels have an increased self-awareness, which helps them to recognize and identify the way in which they react to things and is essential to self-management, which helps people to conduct themselves in a manner most suitable for achieving their desired outcomes. People with high EQ levels also tend to make fewer false assumptions as to people’s underlying motives, are more empathic and thereby better able to consider various perspectives. Those with greater emotional intelligence are also more aware of how their actions impact the quality of interpersonal relationships involved and do their best not to sabotage those relationships.

Meanwhile, those attracted to the practice of law are known to have low EQ levels and law school tends to erode whatever empathy those students had at the outset.

At the 50th Anniversary Conference for AFCC (Association of Family and Conciliation Courts) in 2013, Paul J. De Muniz, Distinguished Jurist in Residence, Willamette University College of Law and Former Chief Justice, Oregon Supreme Court said the following: “We need law schools to start to train lawyers who are able to effectively meet the public’s needs. This is not occurring anywhere yet.”

Law schools must begin recognizing the damage that is being caused to interpersonal relationships and our overall society, due to the low EQ levels of those involved in the field of law and make a concerted effort to address this extremely serious problem. Law schools might learn a thing or two from the changes taking place in the education of future physicians. It would benefit everyone if “leaders [in the legal field began ] exploring ways to infuse more empathy into the [legal] field. That includes re-evaluating the criteria for who should get admitted to [law] school in the first place, and what they should learn while they’re there. Their reforms [should] raise questions about what constitutes quality [legal] care, how (and whether) it can be trained, and how much change is even possible in the American [legal] system today.”

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Don’t Know BOOTS? Here’s Why You Should Listen Now

BOOTS is one of the most interesting new musicians of 2015. You may know him from his work with Beyoncé or from FKA twigs. But here’s a glimpse of his soon-to-be-released debut album.

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Why You Should Stock Up on Beauty Products at CVS

Pack of gum, some Band-Aids, your prescription—these are the basic necessities that are often the basis for a trip to your local CVS. But if that’s all you buy there, you’re totally missing out on the plentiful (and surprisingly legit) beauty offerings. Here, the top hair, makeup, and skin-care products to scoop up on your next visit.
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Don’t Know BOOTS? Here’s Why You Should Listen Now

BOOTS is one of the most interesting new musicians of 2015. You may know him from his work with Beyoncé or from FKA twigs. But here’s a glimpse of his soon-to-be-released debut album.

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10 Things You Should Never Do After Discovering A Spouse’s Affair

From Michela for DivorcedMoms.com

There is nothing so terrifying in a married woman’s life than the threat of an unfaithful spouse. Why? Well, most everything else we can handle; losing a job, losing a parent, the sickness of a child or relative. All of those things can be “fixed”; they have solutions that we can band together with our spouse to overcome.

But an affair is the relationship equivalent of pouring Roundup on fresh, green grass; it kills everything around it. If you’re unfortunate enough to be faced with this situation, there are things you should do…but more importantly, things you shouldn’t. Chin up, sweetheart. We’re going to get through this together.

1. Don’t fall apart. Easier said than done. When my ex told me (on New Year’s Eve, of all times) that he “thought” he was in love with someone else, my first thought was, “Oh snap, there’s not enough alcohol in the house for this crisis.” My second thought was to fall apart; cry, wail and scream until he felt as bad as I did in that moment. And as tempting as those are: don’t. Instead, take a breath and repeat after me: This will not define me. And believe me, it won’t.

2. Don’t start a mud-slinging campaign. It’s so tempting to start calling every single friend you two have to dump on what your ex is doing to your life of bliss. The danger in this is that — by doing it — you make yourself look really, really bad. Close friends and family that you KNOW is different, but beyond your small circle, resist the urge unless you want to come out looking like the “soon-to-be evil ex”.

3. Don’t get destructive. Oh, sure, it’s all fun and games until you “accidentally” shatter the front to his commemorative window box with a football signed by what’s-his-name. Any damage you do to the property in your home — regardless of whether it’s “yours” or “his” — will have financial consequences for you later. So put that Sharpie down and don’t ask your bestie if three-four letter words need a hyphen or not. Just. Say. No.

4. Don’t involve the kids until you absolutely have to. Your kids are the audience to this mess; they have front row tickets to the show and you don’t want to give them any more fodder for their future therapists than you have to, so keep it between you and your ex until you absolutely must tell them what’s going on. And only the bare facts, if possible. Sorry, but a backhanded explanation of, “Sorry honey, daddy isn’t here now because he’s hanging out with his new friend with the fake breasts and letting mommy hold the bag of all our broken dreams” isn’t going to win you any points in the long run. Keep it clean, ladies.

5. Don’t play “keeping up with the Joneses”. Many of my girlfriends did this game and it never ended well. He gets a new car, you get a Mercedes. He got a girlfriend who is five years younger, you’re dating someone ten years your junior. He takes the kids to the zoo, you fly them to Disneyland. The kids don’t understand what’s going on, and even if they do, there are no winners and the ante will always go up until it gets really nasty and you’re explaining to the judge why you bribed Cirque du Soleil performers to come to your five-year-old’s birthday “bash”. No.

6. Don’t be the victim. Very few things anger me more than the girl who plays the victim after she’s been cheated on. What I’m referring to is the “Oh, I probably deserved it” mentality. You did nothing to “deserve” this. I don’t care if you did everything in your marriage from burning his dinner to ogling the pool boy as he changed the filter. There is NO excuse for cheating. None. The minute you begin to feel as though “this is what you get” for marrying a man who’s nickname in college was “hot dog,” you’re playing the victim. Just. Stop.

7. Don’t make it physical. No matter how much you desperately want (and he likely deserves) to have the crap beaten out of him, resist that urge. Trust me when I say, even a good hard (okay, partially satisfying) slap on his face isn’t going to feel as good as you think it will. This is the person who has betrayed you in the most basic sense of the word. He has shattered your heart, but his shattered jaw is NOT going to make your heart whole again. Believe me when I say, paying a man named “Jimmy-the-Fist” is not going to help the situation any. If you must punch something, take a boxing class.

8. Don’t go all out Kardashian. Now before you reality-addicts start bashing me for this, here is what I mean; wearing clothes that look like you’re doing a porn film, ACTUALLY doing an online video exposing your private bits, flirting with pretty much anyone and everyone for attention and blasting the private deets of this drama online. Yes, this means you, Queen-of-Tweeting how stupid he looked in that dumb tie he bought last Christmas. Keep it classy.

9. If he’s in a relationship with the person he cheated on you with, don’t treat her like yesterday’s trash. This is going to be the hardest one to do in real life because our egos are bruised. She is the reason our “happily-ever-after” didn’t happen! Unfortunately, though, it DID happen, and you focusing your energy on slamming doors in her face when she shows up with him to pick up the kids is not going to make anything better. I’m not saying you have to schedule a mani/pedi day with her; I’m saying take the high road and tell yourself that the real reason your happily-ever-after didn’t happen isn’t just her — it’s him.

10. Don’t think your life is “over” because it’s not. This is a chance for you to start again (scary as that might seem). Your story — the new one you’re living — has the chance for another happy ending. Yes, a different one than you imagined, but you never know — it could be better than the first.

More from DivorcedMoms.com

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Your Fall Fashion Horoscope: The Trends You Should Try Based on Your Sign

We're thisclose to autumn, making now the perfect time to figure out which of fall 2015's trends you want to incorporate in your wardrobe. Because all that fashion can be a bit overwhelming (in the…


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26 Books Every ‘Spiritual But Not Religious’ Seeker Should Read

“There are things you can’t reach. But

you can reach out to them, and all day long.

The wind, the bird flying away. The idea of God.

And it can keep you as busy as anything else, and happier.”

— “Where Does The Temple Begin, Where Does It End?,” by Mary Oliver

A growing number of Americans — young people especially – are unaffiliated with any organized religion. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t spiritual. There’s always a part of the soul that’s yearning for something greater, seeking answers to life’s biggest questions: What is sacred? Why are we here? How should we live? 

HuffPost Religion has created a book list for these spiritual seekers. Nearly every genre is represented here, from memoirs to mysteries. Some books might introduce you to faiths you’ve never experienced before. Others will challenge you to think about what it really means to be alive. 

Whether you’ve left your childhood faith, you’re just starting to question or you’ve happily settled into a permanent state of open-mindedness on the subject of God or gods, these are the books for you.

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Ashley Madison Sued $578M, As They Should

Ashley Madison’s failure to protect the adulterous secrets of its users has resulted in a lawsuit eclipsing more than half a billion dollars.

Reports ABC News:

Two Canadian law firms have filed a $ 578 million class-action lawsuit against the companies that run Ashley Madison after a hacker group’s data breach exposed some 39 million memberships in the adultery website earlier this week.

Charney Lawyers and Sutts, Strosberg LLP, both of Ontario, said Friday that they filed the lawsuit on behalf of Canadians who subscribed to Ashley Madison and whose personal information was disclosed to the public. The website, with its slogan “Life is short. Have an affair,” is marketed to facilitate extramarital relationships.

The lawsuit, filed Thursday in the Ontario Superior Court of Justice, targets Avid Dating Life Inc. and Avid Life Media Inc., the Toronto-based companies that run AshleyMadison.com. Its class-action status “still needs to be certified by the court,” the statement says.

Ashley Madison did not immediately respond to requests for comment. It has said that the personal details exposed in the initial data leak can’t be used to prove the infidelity of their clients.

The plaintiff is Eliot Shore, an Ottawa widower. Shore said he joined the website for a short time in search of companionship after he lost his wife to breast cancer. He said he never cheated and never met up with any members of the site.

Lawyer Ted Charney told The Associated Press it is the first class-action suit filed against the companies in Canada.

The most famous name to emerge from the Ashley Madison breach so far is embattled 19 Kids and Counting star, Josh Duggar.


Photo: Ashley Madison

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Here’s Why Jon Stewart SHOULD Host A 2016 Presidential Debate

A popular Change.org petition asks for Jon Stewart to host a 2016 Presidential Debate and here’s why we think it’s a good idea.
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The 7 Pieces You’ll Find in Every Well-Appointed Home (and Should Add to Yours)

home decor essentials

There are the furniture basics: the bed, sofa, coffee table, but real decor artistry comes with the smaller pieces—the items that help make a house a home. So what are these fabled pieces? Designer Lauren McGrath of mother-daughter design team McGrath II let us in on her seven under-the-radar must-haves. These are the secret workhorses and statement-makers that not only transform a space, but also easily transition from first apartment to family home.

 

1. Glossy, Colorful Ceramic Lamp

“A colorful and handmade ceramic table lamp is often what takes a room from good to great,” says McGrath. “And no one makes lamps like Christopher Spitzmiller—his colors are breathtaking, and each lamp is crafted by hand in his Manhattan pottery studio.”

 

2. Love Seat

“The love seat is one of the most versatile pieces of furniture,” says McGrath. “Once you’ve purchased your first, it easily moves from your first apartment to the foot of your bed in your first ‘grown-up’ home.”

 

3. Graphic Pillows

“In neutral rooms like this, we love to use graphic pillows to punch things up,” says McGrath. “Shop for vintage fabrics or choose small quantities of bespoke textiles and have pillows made to give your room a more curated look.”

 

4. Statement Wallpaper

“Wallpapering a room always helps elevate its look, but we find it particularly effective in entryways,” says McGrath. “It’s the perfect room in the house to take a risk and make a lasting first impression.”

 

5. Distinct Tray

“Large coffee tables are the norm today with more and more people entertaining outside the dining room. But a larger coffee table means you need to layer it with thoughtful—and useful—accessories,” says McGrath. “A chic tray is practical for serving drinks and snacks when entertaining, but also a lovely way to display a collection of books and a vase of flowers day to day.”

 

6. Something Alive

“No room is complete without something green and living,” says McGrath. “Our favorite place to buy cut flowers is the Dutch Flower Line located in Manhattan’s Flower District. And we often purchase succulents for our interiors—they’re more forgiving if neglected.”



dutch flower line

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dutchflowerline.com

Photo: Courtesy of betafutchflowerline.com

 

7. Interesting Mirror

“Mirrors add depth to any room. Choose one with a dramatic shape or unusual finish,” says McGrath. “Or consider having one made at any framing store. You’d be surprised how easy this is to do, and there are so many materials and finishes available.”

The post The 7 Pieces You’ll Find in Every Well-Appointed Home (and Should Add to Yours) appeared first on Vogue.

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5 Outrageously Hot Men Who Should Join The Man From U.N.C.L.E Franchise

In the '60s-era The Man From U.N.C.L.E (in theaters today), Armie Hammer plays a KGB super-agent and Henry Cavill plays a CIA mega-agent and they have to work together…for some reason. Who cares? These…


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5 Things You Should Never Do Before Sex

A recent study proved what many post 50s already know — older people are having sex. A lot of sex. Clearly, they know a thing or two about getting in the mood. But here are some things they — and everyone else — need to know before hopping into bed with someone to guarantee a good time — and they have nothing to do with strawberries or chocolates.

1. Don’t eat a heavy meal. 

No, we’re not just worried about bad breath and flatulence. We’re worried you might fall asleep before the opportune moment. Think of sex as a workout. You wouldn’t wolf down heaping portions of creamy pastas and decadent desserts before hitting the gym, now would you? 

Yes, the “food coma” is pretty real. Carby, fatty and sugary foods can all trigger a pretty strong slow-down signal to your brain as soon as they hit your gut. The signal tells your brain to slow down so the body can focus on the task at hand — digesting all the food you just chowed down. As you eat more and more, your body releases more insulin in the digestion process — which only leads to increased serotonin and melatonin in the brain — making you drowsy. 

2. Don’t drink too much. 

Not only do you want to make sure you will remember your lovemaking sesh, you want to make sure you’re at peak performance for it. While light drinking can put some people in the mood, heavy drinking dulls your sensations, making arousal and orgasm difficult. Alcohol also dilates your blood vessels, making it difficult to maintain an erection when you have high blood alcohol content. 

3. Don’t worry about how you look. 

Stop scrutinizing your muffin top or examining your thigh gap. Feeling self-conscious about your body can hurt your sex life as you might be less likely to initiate sex or even be able to enjoy it. If you’re too worried about how you look, your wandering mind will make it more difficult to get satisfaction. Stop worrying and start enjoying.

4. Don’t forget the lube. 

 After menopause, vaginal dryness is a problem quite a few women experience — which can sometimes make you reluctant to have sex. Lower estrogen levels in the body can make your vaginal tissues thinner and lead to dryness. Doctors can prescribe creams, tablets and other estrogen therapies to help reverse the thinning, but lube used prior to intercourse is a simple, effective measure. Gynecologist Cheryl Iglesia told The Huffington Post that water-based and/or silicone-based lubricants are an option. Water-based lubes tend to be less irritating, she says, while silicone-based ones can last longer. 

5. Don’t forget to pee (before and after). 

Iglesia says that, for older people with bladder issues, going to the bathroom before can help avoid any discomfort or embarrassing incidents.

And of course, there’s peeing afterwards, which you might have heard can help prevent UTIs. Sex can push bacteria into your urethra, which is why it’s good to pee afterwards. Iglesia says it’s particularly important for post-menopausal women. She says that after menopause, lower estrogen means a rise in the vagina’s pH and an upswing in bacteria. 

Also on The Huffington Post

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Lil Wayne Tour Bus Shooter Says Birdman Should Be Held Liable

The alleged shooter named Birdman in new court documents.


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If I Should Go Before You – City and Colour

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If I Should Go Before You

City and Colour

Genre: Alternative

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Expected Release Date: October 9, 2015

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3 Super-Seeds Everyone Should Be Eating

Whether you sprinkle them, blend them, or snack on a handful, these three super-seeds are edible gems that could help prevent menstrual cramps, heart disease and more.

 
1. Pumpkin Seeds 
Are menstrual symptoms cramping your style? Try adding a handful of pumpkin seeds to your afternoon snack. Pumpkin seeds are rich in zinc, a mineral known to combat cramps. Plus, the popular salad toppers are packed with magnesium and manganese, which can boost your mood and fight water retention. In addition, studies suggest that pumpkin seed oil, which is rich in natural phytoestrogens, may lead to increased levels of the “good” HDL cholesterol and help reduce blood pressure, hot flashes, headaches and joint pain.


2. Chia Seeds
 
To help regulate blood sugar and boost digestive health, try sprinkling a spoonful of chia seeds on your morning yogurt. Chia seeds are high in fiber and antioxidants, and rich in omega-3 fatty acids, which are beneficial for the brain and heart, and can help reduce the risks for disorders such as diabetes, stroke, inflammatory bowel disease and mental decline. Plus, the seeds slow the absorption of sugar into the bloodstream by creating a natural barrier within the stomach, making them a handy tool for any diabetic.

 
3. Hemp Seeds 
Help prevent coronary heart disease by adding a spoonful of hemp seeds to your favorite smoothie. Hempseed oil contains linolenic acid, an omega-3 fatty acid, that studies have shown can be beneficial to cardiovascular health, and aliphatic alcohols, which can help lower cholesterol and reduce platelet buildup. Plus, hemp seeds are packed with vitamins A, C and E, beta carotene, and minerals such as phosphorus, potassium, magnesium and calcium.


More from The Doctors.

Sources: US National Library of Medicine, Everyday Health, NCBI, National Institute of Health, Livestrong

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We Should Build A Wall That Keeps Burning Man Attendees From Coming Home

What separates the burning men from the burning boys, is really nothing, because they’re all awful. This is why we should seriously consider Cultivated Wit’s new proposal to raise $ 7.3 billion to build a wall that’d prevent Burning Man attendees from returning home. 

Perhaps it would be too intense to burn not just the Burning Man man, but also burn all the burning men, so a wall seems like a justified response to the annual wildfire that will continue to rage in Nevada’s Black Rock Desert near the California border starting August 30.

Make Smokey Bear proud and prevent this fire from ever happening again. The proposed wall may only appear to save San Francisco. The wall may also put the rest of the country at risk as burning families are forced to move into new neighborhoods outside of the Bay Area. But California is in drought, and we must band together as a nation to help our fellow Americans overcome this crisis. Sometimes you’ve got to fight fire with over seven billion dollars of concrete. 

 

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He’s Separated, Now What? 5 Reasons You Should Avoid Dating A Man Who’s Not Divorced

However, what if the man you just met seems to be your perfect soul mate but… there is a problem. He is separated and not yet divorced? Now what? Should you pursue the relationship and take the risk for the sake of what could be love, or should you walk away? The choice is, of course, entirely yours, but chances are that the relationship will be greatly challenging and unlikely to work for a number of reasons:
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News in Brief: Area Man, Woman Each Have Thorough List Of Why They Should Break Up On Standby

SALEM, OR—Saying their respective justifications were “good to go” whenever necessary, local couple Mark Wondrich, 25, and Cara Marshall, 27, reported Friday that they each have a comprehensive list of reasons why they should break up with the other on standby. “Things are actually going pretty well with Cara right now, but just in case it starts to go bad, I’ve got a dozen or so reasons why it’s best to call it quits on our relationship that I can pull out at a moment’s notice,” said Wondrich, just minutes after Marshall privately divulged to reporters her own mental catalog of well-thought-out arguments for terminating their relationship, which included Wondrich’s tendency to ignore her, her desire to move to a bigger city, and 10 other flaws that would serve as a compelling rationale for splitting up. “I might not need this list for a while …



The Onion

Emoji movie: 12 characters we want to see, and which stars should play them

Because, let’s face it, Channing Tatum has to play the party hat.


TODAY Pop Culture

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Why ‘talking about marriage’ should not be a relationship taboo

Relationship experts Matthew Hussey and Francesca Hogi answer viewer’s questions about love and dating and share their thoughts on whether or not to combine bank accounts with your spouse and when they think a couple should “talk about marriage.”


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What 12 Classic Albums Should Be Called, Based On Their Iconic Covers

What 12 Classic Albums Should Be Called, Based On Their Iconic Covers

What 12 Classic Albums Should Be Call…
An album’s cover image can be beautiful or mysterious, but it almost never has anything to do with the songs on the album, or the name of the album. Here are some new titles for old albums based on their cover art.
Submitted by: Brian Boone
Regular
Keywords: Michael Jackson Bruce Springsteen Joy Division Van Halen Eagles Velvet Underground Joe Jackson Ramones Pink Floyd Fleetwood Mac Elton John Supertramp Music Albums Album covers
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Obama: Civilized countries should not have tolerance for rape

Referring to sexual assault allegations against comedian Bill Cosby, President Obama says “if you give a woman, or man for that matter, without his or her knowledge a drug and then have sex with that person without consent — that’s rape.” Rough Cut (no reporter narration).


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Why YOU, Not a Judge, Should Resolve Child-Related Disputes

Family-focused divorce attorney Larry Sarezky is passionate about keeping parents out of court when handling disputes over child custody. Based on decades of experience Larry knows that long-term outcomes work out better when the decisions are made by the parents themselves rather than left to the legal system.

Most parents continue to co-parent their children after divorce. Except for circumstances where children are at risk, Larry strongly emphasizes that parents have the responsibility to put the their children first by working out a parenting plan that is in the children’s best interests.

Larry’s message: If you are unable to resolve children’s issues with your co-parent, a judge will. There are some very good reasons to avoid that:

• The custody evaluation process can humiliate, frighten and compromise your children, and cause them enduring emotional harm.
• Custody cases are tremendously expensive. Parents must not only pay their own lawyers, but they may also have to pay attorneys to represent their children and/or guardians ad litem who are appointed in custody cases for children who are too young to express their feelings and preferences.
• Trial outcomes are difficult to predict.
• A judge’s orders after trial rarely contain the crucial details that parents need in their agreements.
• Your inability to make decisions regarding your children leaves them with a poor parenting model.

A high conflict divorce all but destroys the chances for a constructive co-parenting relationship after the divorce. Spare your children the ordeal of the court custody evaluation process and a prolonged divorce case that mires them in anxiety and uncertainty. You can accomplish that by dealing with child-related issues in a mindful, productive way, as follows:

• Agreeing with your spouse on a Parenting Goal Statement that memorializes your common beliefs and goals regarding dealing with the children during the divorce
• Communicating clearly with your spouse about the kids, and confirming important communications in writing
• Seeking advice from a child therapist or divorce coach regarding child-related issues
• Using a mediator, including those available through court systems at little or no cost, to help you resolve child-related matters as soon as possible
• Maintaining as much of the children’s routine as possible
• Telling your lawyer that you want to resolve any outstanding child-related issues at the very first opportunity.

Divorce challenges parents to overcome obstacles and make sound decisions regarding their children. Parents able to do that offer their children a wonderful parenting model. Parents who can’t, allow life-altering decisions regarding their children to be made by a stranger.

The Child-Centered Divorce Network strongly endorses Larry’s message as well as his new Telly Award-winning film, Talk To Strangers. The film dramatically makes the point that children pay a high price when parents choose the courts to make custody decisions. Visit www.ChildCustodyFilm.com to learn more about protecting children during divorce, and to preview the film.

The Child-Centered Divorce Network resources include a free ebook on Post-Divorce Parenting which is available at www.ChildCenteredDivorce.com.

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Divorce – The Huffington Post

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All Songs +1: What’s The First Song A Newborn Should Hear?

Bob Boilen and Robin Hilton discuss the best way to introduce your young one to the world of music.

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7 Things All Unhappy Couples Do (And What You Should Do Instead)

 We all know that couple: The one that bickers at dinner parties and makes snide remarks behind each others’ backs. The one that prompts the question: Why are they still together?

But contemptuous couples don’t get that way overnight. To help you and your partner avoid the same fate, we asked relationship experts to share some of the biggest mistakes people in unhappy relationships make — and how to course-correct if you’ve made them. See what they had to say below.

1. They compare their behavior now to their behavior when they dated. 

Couples are never more romantic (or PDA-inclined) than in the early days of a relationship. It’s inevitable that some of the romance will fade over time — and while it’s important to address it, bringing up the past rarely helps the matter, said Anne Crowley, an Austin, Texas-based psychologist. 

“A spouse in an unhappy marriage might complain ‘you used to be so romantic!'” she said. “Unfortunately, the other partner’s response is often a defensive one — ‘Hey, that was before we had three kids!'” 

 

Instead of getting bogged down in the past, “see what happens when you tell your spouse you miss him or her,” Crowley said. “Oftentimes it is intimacy that we are seeking with our spouse and anger only serves to push him or her away. Communication is the bridge to intimacy. When we feel connected with our spouse, we feel loved and valued.” 

 

2. They’re pros at passive aggression. 

 The road to divorce is paved with passive aggressive digs and eye rolls, said Marina Sbrochi, a relationship expert and the author of Stop Looking for a Husband: Find the Love of Your Life. 

“If your partner models contemptuous behavior, you’ll most likely pick up that vibe and escalate the issue,” she said. “You’ll both walk away silently cursing each other.” 

To put an end to the silent treatment, you need to get smarter with your argument style, Sbrochi suggested. 

“The next time you argue, take note of how one person’s attitude is contagious,” she said. “Instead of matching attitude, stop the bad-attitude train. Listen respectively and try to figure out what exactly your partner is trying to say to you.”   

 

3. They can’t agree on who’s right and who’s wrong. 

It’s exhausting to be in a relationship with someone who has to have the final say in everything. Partners who need to be right at the expense of their loved one’s feelings push each other away, said LiYana Silver, a San Francisco-based relationship expert and coach. 

“They try to get the other person to submit by shaming them, bullying them, out-smarting them or shutting them out,” she said. “If you’re a partner who constantly needs to be right, ask yourself: ‘What’s so important to my S.O. about this issue? What about it am I not seeing?’ This will shift the dynamic from adversarial to allied — and genuine curiosity in a relationship is disarming and heart-opening. It will put you back on the same team.” 

4.  They put in phone time instead of face time. 

We’re all guilty of glancing at our phones when we should be engaging with our partners. But do it too often and you send a powerful non-verbal message to your S.O., Crowley said: Whatever I’m doing on my phone is far more important than you. 

A starting place to move beyond the behavior “could just be turning off, muting or putting your phone out of reach at dinner,” she said. “This allows your partner your full attention and sends the nonverbal message that time together is important.” 

5. They allow their relationship to grow stale.

If you want a long-term relationship to last, making an effort to share new and exciting experiences is essential. When couples fall into ruts and routines, they stop growing together and run the risk of growing apart, said Alicia H. Clark, a Washington, DC-based psychologist.

“Too much passive disconnected activity — watching TV, surfing Internet, reading — can erode a sense of connection and lure couples into a cycle of disengagement,” she said.

If you find yourself bored by your partner, Clark recommends trying something new together: tackle that recipe you found on Pinterest, go for a hike or schedule date nights again. 

“Novelty has been shown to boost relationship connection via the reward circuitry in our brain that stimulates feelings of pleasure, desire and motivation,” Clark explained.

 6. They lose sight of their partnership. 

Your partner should be your ride-or-die bestie, your partner in crime. One thing unhappy couples have in common is losing sight of that unbreakable partnership, said Crowley. 

“Life changes when we marry or get serious,” she said. “Maybe the wife’s focus is the children and the husband feels left out or the husband works long, late hours and the wife feels alone. We start to go through the motions and we don’t feel bonded or connected anymore.” 

To regain that sense of partnership, try to actively show your partner how much you appreciate him or her, Crowley said.

“Tell and show you care,” she said. “Pause for a moment when your partner comes home to welcome and embrace him or her. Be affectionate. It helps forge connection and closeness.  It’s a reminder that he or she is your one and only.” 

7. They don’t touch. 

Don’t underestimate the power of playful pinches on the bum and hand-holding in public. Couples on the fritz tend to put physical contact and the intimacy on the back burner, said Clark.

“Human touch is a cornerstone of bonding and has been shown to drive up oxytocin – dubbed the cuddle hormone – that in turn facilitates attachment,” she explained. “If you’re in a relationship, make sure to do the little things: kiss each other when you say goodbye, hug more frequently or just hold hands while driving or watching TV. It will make a difference.” 

Keep in touch! Check out HuffPost Divorce on Facebook.  

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Divorce – The Huffington Post

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Nick Jonas: ‘More Heterosexual’ Artists Should Reach Out to Gay Fans

Nick Jonas is making an effort to reach out to all his fans, and thinks other heterosexual men in the pop world should do the same. In a new interview with the U.K.'s Attitude Magazine, the all-grown-up JoBro spoke about how his fanbase has grown, and why he thinks intolerance is "heartbreaking."
News, reviews, interviews and more for top artists and albums – MSN Music
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The One Thing You’re Not Doing on Dating Apps but Should Be

I’m not trying to brag or anything, but thanks to my inability to find men who can commit to me for longer than a few months, I have become quite the seasoned online dater. I’ve…


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11 Pinterest Accounts Every Dude Should Follow

When it comes to Pinterest, women dominate. The popular social media site is frequented by females; in fact, women are more than four times as likely to use Pinterest as men. But don’t count the fellas out yet! Pinterest offers men’s street style, grooming tips, and major accessories to ensure each man looks his best.

So guys, if you’re looking to step up your style game, we’ve got the Pinterest accounts that will show you how. Check out these 11 boards for some seriously dashing men’s style. 

 

1. Daniel Bear Hunley



2. SANDFELD



3. Dagmar Müller-Brennecke

 

4. Dale Partridge



5. Nick Goodenough



6. Kyle Newton



7. The Designers Collective



8. Up Knörth

 

9. Daniel Cronje



10. Thomas Murphy



11. Niyalish



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Style – The Huffington Post
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The One Oral Sex Experience Every Woman Should Have at Least Once

Fun fact about me: I love to sit on men’s faces. In a sexual way, of course. Not in some fully-clothed, bully sort of way. That would be weird. I never thought face-sitting was some…


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Why Should We Never Fear Fear?

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Comedy – The Huffington Post
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Sore Winners: We Should Acknowledge and Build Upon Our Successes

Over the past two weeks there have been two incidents that have reinforced my belief that many of us in the LGBT community are sore winners. The first was evident in the discussions relating to the future of the movement post-Obergefell that I discussed in my last column, where the national advocacy organizations are continuing to ignore the real, substantive protections already in place. We have federal employment protections, and few acknowledge the win, let alone celebrate it.

The second relates to the incident of the White House heckler, Jennicet Gutiérrez. Jennicet is the woman who interrupted the president 20 seconds into his speech in the East Room of the White House during the annual Pride reception on June 24. Her “heckling” was shouting out to the president, “I am a trans woman! … No more deportations!”

The president, after Jennicet wouldn’t stand down, responded, “Listen, you’re in my house. … Shame on you. You shouldn’t be doing this. … You know, my attitude is: If you’re eating the hors d’oeuvres — you know what I’m saying? — and drinking the booze….”

This incident then blew up, as things do today, over Twitter and beyond, as the usual activist rift was once again on full display. There was the debate between the insiders and outsiders — the insiders who felt that a reception with the president of the United States demands respectful behavior, and the outsiders who believe that it’s always a ripe opportunity to press the cause with direct action, even in the East Room of the White House. There were those who felt that “there is a time and a place,” and that this was neither, versus those who felt that the cause is so important that no risk is not worth taking.

There was also a secondary conflict, between those who eventually took to booing Jennicet when she wouldn’t stop (and it should be noted that she began within 20 seconds of the start of the president’s speech and continued for two minutes) and those who felt that since she’s a trans Latina and the room was full of predominantly white gay men, this was clearly an act of transphobia and racism. Of course, the latter is usually the case for some people of a Bolshevik mindset, who condemn an entire class of people by virtue of their class, sexual orientation, gender identity and/or ethnicity/race.

The wheels came off, and a rational debate became impossible. My opinion was, and still is, that there really is a time and a place, which may include a White House Pride reception, but in this case there was a way to accomplish the goal without alienating the rather influential person you’re trying to persuade. My sense after watching all the videos is that the crowd was neither transphobic nor anti-Hispanic and was driven to their response by Jennicet’s refusal to stop after she had made her point.

I’m also just as uncomfortable with shaming the crowd as I am with shaming her for speaking out. Janet Mock tweeted that the booing reminded her of Sylvia Rivera’s experience in 1969. Except that Sylvia Rivera spoke out against the gay community in New York in 1973 when they wouldn’t let her (or many lesbians, for that matter) take to the stage during the Pride festivities. The greatest president the LGBT community will probably ever know is not the equivalent of the New York gay community of the early ’70s. And the great lesbian activist and agent of social change, Urvashi Vaid, then the Director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, interrupting President Bush in 1989 during his only speech about the AIDS crisis, which he and his predecessor, Ronald Reagan, had refused to confront, is not the same as heckling President Obama.

I’m not the only one willing to say so. Trans Latina Amada Briseno, who was also at the White House, agrees. She also spoke out, but in a positive manner, and the president responded that hers was the kind of heckling he can always accept.

Evidence matters to me. Jennicet wrote:

I was fortunate to be invited to the White House to listen to President Obama’s speech recognizing the LGBTQ community and the progress being made. But while he spoke of ‘trans women of color being targeted,’ his administration holds LGBTQ and trans immigrants in detention. I spoke out because our issues and struggles can no longer be ignored.

Jennicet claimed that her outburst was spontaneous, yet she launched into it before the President got warmed up. She couldn’t have been responding to the president’s words, including his acknowledgment that “transgender women of color are particularly vulnerable,” because he had barely gotten to “hello.”

More importantly, she claimed that she was planning on writing a letter to the president but only decided to speak out when the president didn’t address trans detention issues. As I noted above, she didn’t let him speak, so she couldn’t know. She also said she was invited to the reception by the White House, but she was actually the plus-one of Angela Peoples, GetEqual’s co-director. GetEqual is rightly known for its guerrilla tactics, and Jennicet’s actions fit the mold.

Angela Peoples told MTV News:

Jennicet, who is a trans woman of color, wanted to use [the White House Pride reception] as an opportunity to bring the message of stopping the detention and torture of trans women in immigration facilities to the president. I was so, so proud of her for what she did.

According to a statement from Not1More:

As a transgender woman who is undocumented, Gutiérrez said she could not celebrate while some 75 transgender detainees were still being exposed to assault and abuse in ICE custody at this very moment.

Angela has since confirmed to me that this was indeed a GetEqual action, but they chose not to announce that, allowing Jennicet to speak out and be the face of the action. I have great respect for GetEqual, but that doesn’t get to my fundamental problem with this incident.

Jennicet had been active for seven months in working to stop the deportations. She was working with GetEqual. GetEqual knew that Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) was working on the problems with detention, because the LGBT community, along with allies in the immigration reform community, had been working on this issue for years. They knew that there was a positive new memo on the issue dated June 19, five days before the Pride reception. And Secretary Johnson of the Department of Homeland Security released a new policy on June 24, before the Pride reception, to speed up the release of all immigrants in detention, another of Jennicet’s concerns.

What this tells me is that the activists who are doing the hard, arduous work of
influencing the administration and moving the bureaucracy, often for little pay and recognition, are actually winning this fight for us. And there are some who are willing to ignore the ongoing progress that is occurring to grandstand for personal reasons. People who don’t know the facts will credit Jennicet’s actions with bringing about this recent change, when that is not the case at all. I’m told that Jennicet repeated her performance two days later at the Stonewall Inn during the New York Pride festivities.

Change never comes quickly enough. As Angela Peoples said, “there’s no ‘right time and place’ to demand basic human dignity.” But there’s a difference between simply making a statement, which may or may not work but is guaranteed to offend many allies, including the most important one of all, the guy at the top, and acting smartly with full knowledge of context and consequences. Angela explained that GetEqual’s goal mirrors that of Not1More, which is to end all detention of queer people — because detention is wrong in general, and because queer people in detention are at risk of grievous bodily harm.

I agree with that goal. However, we need to put that goal in context and not blindside those who are committed to helping the community or offend the ones with the power to help us reach our ultimate goal.

We just don’t seem to know how to win gracefully.

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Gay Voices – The Huffington Post

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Double Dating Tips: What A Couple Should Do When Out With Another Couple

A double date is fun way to hang out and get to know another couple more. Here are dating tips that serve as a friendly reminder for you whenever you and your beau are out with another couple. There are many friends who became distant and practically strangers the moment one they starting seeing people from the opposite sex. However, a good friendship should not be compromised just because you want to spend time with the person you love. Double dates allow couples to spend quality time together without having to sacrifice their time with friends. Having your couple friends with you can make the fun atmosphere even more enjoyable. On the other hand, there are a few things that should be considered when going out on a date with another couple. Here are some dating tips that might come in handy if ever you decided to go out on a double date.
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So Gay Marriage Biblically Offends You? Then You Should Read This…

I want to start by saying that I am a Christian. I always have been and always will be… and I’m also a gay woman who is happily married to a beautiful British Woman named Megan. Since the recent Supreme Court ruling of legalizing same-sex marriages in the United States, I have seen the ugly and the uglier come out in people I never expected. Having moved to live with my wife in the UK, I find myself in awe at the complete and utter ignorance that has been clogging up my news feed and other social medial outlets in the past few days from my so-called American friends back in the South. It’s important to state that I’m not generalizing all, as I’ve also seen a positive response from those Christian in the South; even including support from an amazing pastor. However, it saddens me that amongst the many rainbow-colored pictures on my feed, there is also a great deal of hatred.

What I don’t understand is quite simply, this: why does gay marriage bother people so much? If you are making an unnecessary palava because you’re offended by gay marriage then you seriously need to look at your own life and educate yourselves a bit. If the sole reason you feel that gay marriage is wrong because it’s a sin, and the Bible tells you this is wrong, then I sure as hell hope you don’t have bacon with your eggs or indulge in shrimp. Oh, or better yet, do you have any tattoos? Ever been drunk, told a white lie or been divorced? Yep, whoops. Those are all sins, too. And all sins are equal, right? I don’t see anyone going off the handle because of any of these ‘sins’ and I most certainly don’t see protests or hurtful propaganda against those. Just because you disagree with something — and we all have the right to do so — it is an absolute disgrace to treat the LGBT community the way you do. What if we treated all sins in this way? Bacon eaters would be doomed.

Therefore, if gay marriage or ‘homosexuality’ doesn’t affect you personally in the way you live your life in any way, why do you feel the need to even get involved? Why worry about something that is, frankly, none of your business? For instance, I’m not divorced, but many people I know are, and I’m not going to judge them. We shouldn’t judge anyone for the way they live their life. If you don’t agree with gay marriage, then don’t have a gay wedding. Simple.

I know what you must be thinking. If the LGBT community can protest and stand up for their rights, then why can’t Christians? They have every right to stand up for what they believe in also… To a degree, yes. Christianity and gay rights will always butt-heads. Luckily, we have the Equality Act 2010 in the UK, where we’ve seen it in the favor of gay rights; e.g. where a gay couple were wrongly turned away from a B&B due to the owners Christian views, to in favor of Christianity; e.g. the nurse who was wrongly fired for telling her lesbian colleague she’s committing a sin. I don’t expect the battles to ever fully cease, but choose your battles wisely. Is this really worth your time? Could your time not be better spent with showing kindness and acceptance — isn’t that what being a Christian is truly about, rather than showing hatred? It is not your duty to judge and tell others how to live theirs to ensure your angelic conscious is clear. However, it does change the lives of the LGBT community and gives us freedom and the same rights as anyone else. This means that now my wife and I, if we ever decide to move back to the U.S., can do this freely and can move to any state. Your hatred towards this is unjust and unfair and don’t even try to the quote the Bible at me; you may want to actually read it first.

To all of the haters, how would you feel if your rights were completely stripped from you because you had a divorce or because you had a baby out of wedlock, for instance? How would you like someone judging and telling you that you’re going to hell because of this?

As a Christian, I wholeheartedly believe that God does not make mistakes and he would not have accidentally made millions of people (and animals) gay by chance. We are all who we are for a reason and no one should ever make you feel bad for that. If anything, my relationship with God is better than ever, and I know that I am definitely not going to hell or that my lifestyle is wrong. It’s important for people to know that you can be a Christian and gay. You do not have to choose one or the other. We need more people like Christian singer Vicky Beeching, who came out as a lesbian last year, to look up to as role models.

So, my dear fellow Christians, from one Christian to another, please mind your own business and PLEASE make sure that your hands are clean before you point your finger at me and my community. Amen.

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Gay Voices – The Huffington Post

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The New Single: 9 Things You Should Never Lie About

Getting back out there. Dating online. Talking to people again. Making first impressions. None of it is easy. And, it’s easy to do it the wrong way. I know it’s tempting. I know that it’s not always easy to come clean when you are trying to make an amazing first impression, as the new single, but there are simply some critical things you cannot lie about.

For the self-help critics, I am sure the next thought is: So you are saying you can lie about some things? No. No. No. But if you have any intention of fibbing, hiding, or disclosing at a later date–avoid the below.

1. Age
It’s too difficult to keep track. And eventually the truth comes out.

2. Your job
Not your dream job. Not the one you just applied for. The one that is currently sending you a paycheck.

3. Your true relationship status
Divorce means papers are signed. It doesn’t mean we are living together but have been talking about separating.

4. Pets
He could have allergies.

5. Height
Unless you plan on dating him via the Internet forever, don’t bother to lie about this one, especially if you prefer heels to flats.

6. Interests
Please don’t pretend you are okay camping when in reality your idea of roughing it is the Ritz-Carlton.

7. Whether or not you smoke
Unless you have been wearing the patch for two years, please don’t pretend you don’t smoke. Lying about it is more of a turnoff for nonsmokers than doing it.

8. Whether you have roommates
I know things can be tough financially, but you need to ‘fess up to this one. He will know in time if it’s a one-way street to his house only.

9. What you are looking for
If you are looking to date, don’t tell him you would be fine with a casual fling. It’s not him who will suffer in this; it’s you. Focus on what you want–don’t conform constantly in order to try and get it.

Have anything to add to the list? Click here for more advice from The New Single.

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Divorce – The Huffington Post

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10 Reasons Why Young People Should Stop Freaking Out Over The Thought Of Old People Having Sex

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Last week I read Ann Brenoff’s HuffPost article, “Why The Thought Of Old People Having Sex Makes Young People Squirm.” She wrote a line that deftly captures the heart of youthful bias: “younger people just believe sex isn’t something older people are supposed to have.”

My reaction, when I read the piece, was anger: who are these young people to tell me I’m too old for sex? Why do we need to be reminded of the propaganda that great sex has an expiration date, and if yours is up, well, settle down for the next few decades on the sexual sidelines?

I thought of this article when my boyfriend Sam and I were dining al fresco at a local restaurant last weekend. At 48 and 52 respectively, we’re two lust-driven middle-aged people who like to have sex and talk about sex as much as possible. Sam, in fact, was talking enthusiastically about a particular sex act when the waiter arrived with our artichoke dip. I glanced around the patio at diners who looked to be in their 20s and wondered a) if they could hear him and b) what they thought about us if they could?

Were they surprised that we “still” have sex at our advanced ages? Were they disapproving? Grossed out? I started to wonder why young people think they have the patent on sex when old people have been doing it a lot longer.

It’s youthful ignorance, of course. You don’t understand what you don’t know. And what I would like all those to the left of 30 to know is this:

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1. You will get older too. Yes, really. You will get gray hair and skin creases and you will still want to have sex. And you will not care at all what young people think.

2. Older people do it just like you, only better. Penises still enter vaginas. Tongues still lick genitals. Just with a lot more finesse than yours.

3. You don’t have to worry about pregnancy. Worrying about getting pregnant, or not getting pregnant, takes up a lot of space in your head. When baby-making is no longer a concern, you can enjoy sex in its purest form.

4. Sex isn’t tied up with rings and babies. Pregnancy isn’t the only issue that can make sex feel less sexy. The pressure to create an adult life, complete with the house and the kids and the holiday cards, can sap psychological energy and sex drives. One reason people often experience greater sexual enjoyment in middle age is that the exhausting tasks of young adulthood are behind them.

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5. Older people don’t necessarily want to think about you having sex either. Some older people get creeped out watching frolicking porn stars young enough to be their children. Some older women would prefer not to read about yet another multi-orgasmic, dim-witted virgin. You may cringe at the image of your parents getting it on, but believe me, they don’t really want to think about you getting it on either.

6. The same body parts yield pleasure. Loose skin, lack of lubrication and erections that need coaxing don’t signify lack of desire or gratification. And because you are no longer taking the express train to Orgasmville, you will experience sex with greater nuance and meaning.

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7. Staying sexually active keeps you feeling vital. Some people welcome midlife and beyond as a time when it’s “okay” to stop having sex, and that’s a valid choice. But most people want to continue having sex in their second and third acts and find that the more they have it, the more vibrant they feel.

8. You will still like all the same sex acts. If you like it from behind when you’re 20, chances are you’ll like it from behind when you’re 60. You may not be quite as acrobatic, but you may be more creative, and with the pressure of rings and babies behind you, you may enjoy what you’re doing more.

9. You will still have orgasms. They may not be as strong or as frequent. Or they may be more powerful if sexual shame enveloped you when you were young. But you will have them with a partner, and when you’re flying solo.

10. Sex is about more than orgasms. When you’re young, sex tends to be one-dimensional, with orgasm and validation being the goals. When you’re older, you realize that sex is about the journey, not the destination. You enjoy exploring each other. Sexual confidence comes from finally being comfortable in your own skin regardless of the the appearance of your body parts.

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Photography by Nick Holmes

Earlier on Huff/Post50:

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