Think of your marriage like a bank account: pay into it often with acts of kindness and generosity and it’ll help your relationship no end. High50 wellbeing coach Alex Blossom explains how.
Relationship problems come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes it might feel as though the spark has gone. It might be that you are going through a stage where you feel irritable and frustrated or you could be feeling neglected or hurt in some way.
Whatever the problem, mindfulness can help you to get through the most tricky of times. These five mindful relationship fixes will help you get back on track.
1. Learn To Listen
Really taking time to listen to your partner can make all the difference. Take time to be genuinely interested in what they have to say. It is so easy to get caught up in our own little world, we can become consumed by our own thoughts and feelings.
When we learn to listen we find out things that we didn’t know, even when we have been together for a long time. By turning our attention outwards, we clear a little bit of head space and make some room for our partner.
2. Just Be
It is so easy to slip into trying to change our partners, wishing that they were different. We can hear ourselves nagging: we don’t want to do it, but sometimes holding our tongue can seem impossible.
Before you jump in and criticize your partner always, take a few deep breaths. Really think about what you will achieve by making a comment. When you next sit down for a meal together try listing five things that you love about each other.
The conversation this creates will get you thinking and feeling more positively.
Touch is a really important sensation, but so often we lose the closeness that we had in the early days of our relationship.
Rather than cuddling up to each other we become protective of our space, bickering over sides of the bed. Rather than taking time to kiss each other when we say goodbye in the morning our minds are perhaps already at work dealing with a situation.
So take the time to really feel next time you and your partner have physical contact. Notice the sensation of warmth and contact and enjoy the closeness, even if only for a moment.
4. Be Compassionate
If your partner is going through a tough time then put yourself in their shoes. Imagine how things are for them. Think about what you would want in their situation: it will make a huge difference.
When you learn to look at things from their perspective you can gain a real understanding of their behavior. When you get to grips with what is going on for your partner everything will seem easier. So many relationship problems stem from a lack of understanding.
Think of your relationship like a bank account. Making withdrawals all the time will leave you in deficit and things can start to look bleak. Paying in more often with acts of kindness and generosity will leave you feeling positive and secure.
Giving to your partner really can make you happy. While your attention is on seeking out an opportunity for kindness it is not consumed by worrying thoughts. You will be free to get on and enjoy life.
Alex Blossom offers mindfulness and wellbeing coaching through private sessions and day retreats. Revitalisedays.co.uk
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