How to speak to your suit maker

A tailored suit is the holy grail of men’s fashion. Find out how to speak to your suit maker, according to Savile Row tailors David Mason of Anthony Sinclair and Gabriel John of October House.

1. Know your “drop”

In tailor speak, a “drop 6-inch” jacket is the standard measurement indicating a waist size that is 6″ smaller than the butt size. Don’t be afraid to deviate: With well-developed glutes, for example, ask your suitmaker for a “drop 7 inch” (or higher), to ensure the fit isn’t too snug.

2. Play the numbers

With wool suits, the higher the yarn count, the finer the fabric—but if you go too high, the suit will be prone to tearing.The magic number: 120–150. As for weight: Do you sweat a ton? Stick with “9oz, max—light enough for warm days but with plenty of body,” says John.

3. Canvass the place

Ask your tailor whether the suit is “fused,” “fully canvassed,” or “half-canvassed,” says John. “If it’s fused [just a fancy word for glued] turn around, run for the hills, and don’t let the dust settle behind you.” (For the record: Either of the other options is fine.)

4. Don’t be a snob about “handmade”

Don’t fear “machine” involvement in your suitmaking. What really matters is if the tailor hand-stitches the exterior. “It may be controversial, but on some elements, especially the hidden seams, machines can be better than humans,” says John.

The post How to speak to your suit maker appeared first on Men's Journal.

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Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation (Unabridged) – Parker J. Palmer

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Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation (Unabridged)

Parker J. Palmer

Genre: Arts & Entertainment

Price: $ 9.95

Publish Date: July 6, 2009

© ℗ © 2009 Blackstone Audio, Inc.

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Speak Now

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Wayne Shorter

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Trans-attracted Men, You Have a Duty to Speak Up

Amber Monroe‘s body was found on August 8th after she was shot and killed. K.C. Haggard was brutally stabbed to death on July 23rd. India Clarke was beaten to death, three days prior. This past Monday, police in Dallas identified the body of Shade Schuler.

This year alone in the United States, thirteen trans women have been murdered, eleven of them were trans women of color. The National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs documented that 55% of anti-LGBTQ homicide victims last year were trans women, half were trans women of color.

While there are many factors contributing to this epidemic of hate and violence against trans women of color, I want to focus on the role of silence and shame in a group of men that have a special responsibility to speak out against this crisis. I’m talking about men like me.

I am a Black man who is in love with a Black trans woman.

Last summer, I participated in a rally for Islan Nettles on the one year anniversary of her brutal murder. I remember reading her story and collapsing into tears. Islan’s death was the result of hate, hatred of her very existence as a Black trans woman. I realized that the failure to confront the public shaming of trans-attracted men not only has deep psychological impacts on men like me, but far more importantly, it fuels the cycle of violence against trans people by dehumanizing them. Remaining silent about our relationships further entrenches the narrative that they are nothing but a fetish, a shameful secret. This reduces our partners to objects and objectification is at the root of dehumanization.

As a heterosexual cisgendered man in a society that rewards me for these things, I realized I had a duty to share my story without shame.

Ever since I became aware of my own sexuality and began to express myself accordingly, people began labeling me as gay. I knew that I was attracted to trans women, I knew I wasn’t gay, but I didn’t understand gender and sexuality in a way that I could articulate my truth to others. I thought I was the only one who felt this way, I felt alone. In high school, I was teased mercilessly and homophobic slurs were hurled at me on an almost daily basis. I remember an adolescence of desperate attempts to slip under the radar, evade ridicule, and deny myself.

Now I know that there are many other heterosexual cisgendered men who are attracted to trans women, but the lack of any unified voice from our part against the epidemic of anti-trans violence, is indicative of the stigma and shame that surrounds our sexual and romantic relationships.

As someone who is in love with a Black trans woman, it hurts me to think that she could be murdered in the streets simply for being who she is.

Trans women of color are on the front lines of the Movement for Black Lives – marching, organizing, and putting their lives on the line for the liberation struggle of all Black people. We – trans-attracted men – cannot allow society to continue shaming us into silence when that silence makes our partners all the more vulnerable to hate and violence. Openly loving a trans woman might seem like a courageous act, but it is not nearly enough. Circumstances demand that we come out as a community, speak out, and join the struggle to ensure that trans lives truly matter.

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Brooks-sponsored Runner Nick Symmonds Nixes Nike; Aims to Speak at SxSW

Whether an act of will, independence or marketing genius, the recent decision by Brooks Running-sponsored runner Nick Symmonds not to compete with the Nike-sponsored U.S. team at this month’s IAFF World Championships still has people talking.
The entrepreneurial runner earned a spot on the team that will compete in Beijing starting Aug. 22, after winning the 800 meters at the U.S. Track and Field Championships in Eugene, Ore. in June. But unlike his fellow American world championship qualifiers, Symmonds balked at signing the Statement of Conditions that would have required that he wear the designated USTAF team uniform for all team functions, while in China.
A Brooks spokesman declined to say Wednesday whether Symmonds consulted with any of the company’s executives before he went public with his decision. Nor was there any indication from the Seattle-based $ 500 million brand how he might be used in marketing down the line. Symmonds did not respond to a request for comment Wednesday.
In its 101st year in business, Brooks Running, a Berkshire Hathaway-owned company, has a reputation for pitching friendlier, more approachable branding than juggernauts like Nike and Adidas. Brooks’ “Run Happy” campaign includes advertising and international events. Symmonds’ independent thinking may be something Berkshire Hathaway’s

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What Happens When A Black Man And A White Woman Speak For Each Other

Darius Simpson and Scout Bostley begin to speak into their individual microphones — but then they stop, switch mics and start talking again.

In the video below from the 2015 College Unions Poetry Slam Invitational, the two Eastern Michigan University students perform their spoken word poem “Lost Voices” and discuss white privilege, reproductive rights, male privilege and dating while black.

But instead of telling stories from their own lives, Bostley and Simpson tell one another’s experiences. The result is a powerful commentary on white privilege and male privilege, respectively.

When the two trade their respective privileges they’re allowed to say things they normally wouldn’t be able to. Bostley says things that Simpson cannot because he is black, while Simpson says things Bostley cannot because she’s a woman. Each story holds more weight with this added (normally absent) weight.

Bostley shares Simpson’s experience as a young black man, while Simpson mouths the words. “The first day I realized I was black it was 2000,” she says. “We had just learned about blacks for the first time in second grade, at recess all the white kids chased me into the woods chanting ‘slave.’

Then Simpson takes over to speak for Bostley. “As a woman, having a boyfriend is a battle,” he says. “If 70 percent of us are abused in a lifetime what is the number of men doing it? The answer is not one man running faster than light to complete a mission and that is what leaves me sick.”

They each go on to tell one another’s story:

“As a woman I’ve learned to answer to everything except my name,” Simpson says, while Bostley mouths his words. “‘Little Lady’ is not said to mean equal, but to make sure I remember my place. I battle between wanting to own my body and accepting there is a one in four chance a man will lay claim to my skin.”

“Do you know what it feels like to be black? To pop-lock your way in and out of hugs — it is not a problem you want to sympathize,” Bostley says, speaking for Simpson. “But to tell me you know my pain is to stab yourself in the leg because you saw me get shot. We have two different wounds, and looking at yours does nothing to heal mine.”

Finally the two switch back and speak for themselves. “I fight so my voice can be heard,” Bostley says. “I fight for the voices you silence all in the name of what is right.” Simpson continues, telling the crowd, “I am black and bold and beautiful by nature. Ain’t no income that can change that.”

Watch the full video above to hear the rest of Bostley and Simpson’s riveting spoken word.

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Speak Kindly of Me


I thought by now, five years come and gone without you, that I had said my goodbye already; long ago and with only a lingering thought that perhaps one day, if the timing were right and the stars aligned at just the right moment that we might collide again with a new and furious passion. A passion so alive with the memories and laughter we once shared it could annihilate the catastrophe of what we had allowed ourselves to become at the end. A renewed and powerful love that would obliterate the pain of the crushing blows we scarred each other with on that last gruesome battlefield. I had the silly notion that we would maybe, someday, find our way back to each other.

Probably not, we both knew that but I felt a calmness in my soul just knowing the possibility existed. The possibility that it could happen.

While our conversations had dwindled down to few and far between, I was secure enough in my thoughts and memories of you to hold the possibility dear to me.

But you found someone new.

I knew after three sentences. I could hear it in your voice, another woman’s breath in the cadence of you words, the way you spoke to me so effortlessly. You no longer stumbled over the memories or possibilities of us, not this time. She was the new strength in your words.

Maybe it’s because time has marched on and my 60th birthday is lurking just around the corner. The time and energy it takes to reach the ease in which we regarded one another, danced with one another and fought with one another seems daunting and vast to me now.

But you found someone new.

Twelve years and so many heartbreaks together. Twelve years and so much laughter together. Twelve years and so much love together. Twelve years came and twelve years went. It’s now my fifth year without you and I haven’t even been on a date.

I want to do anything other than put these words on paper right now. I’m fighting the urge to run to my family of writing comrades that live in my computer in a place called Facebook. They are kind, loving and always there, day or night, 24/7 with open arms and words of encouragement no matter what my dilemma but I only have the strength to do this once.

She is quite lovely. You told me her name. First and last. Perhaps you wanted me to find her page so I could see for myself who holds your heart now. I did. She seems perfect for you. She has horses and looks to be a fabulous dressage rider. How many times did we talk about the horses we cherished so when we were younger and how much we would enjoy riding together? Remember?

It was something we were definitely going to do one day once we got out from under the endless bills we seemed to always be paying. We wanted a rambler style home so when we grew old together, we wouldn’t have stairs to contend with. We talked about that small 6 stall barn, the one that would so comfortably stable our rescue horses and how we would ride them kindly and gently at their own pace, not ours.

But you found someone new.

She had a few videos on her page. Yes, of course I watched them. She was at her home in Southern Maryland you mentioned, leaning on a wooden rail fence calling her horse Whiskey to come in for his supplements. Her voice is kind. She has a strong love for animals; the same one we shared.

I don’t think you could love someone who didn’t share that love for animals and the ability to appreciate them the way you do. It was certainly one of the most powerful and joyous parts of our love. What did we have, eight at one time? Yes, we had four dogs and four cats when we combined hearts and households.

I remember holding each and every one, you by my side, as they drew their last breath of us and this world. I remember where each one is buried. I remember watching from the window as you placed them so gently in the ground. My heart was too heavy to stand beside you so you stood for me and sang those last loving lullabies to carry with them to the Bridge.

When you go to the pet cemetery where our babies are buried, the one we chose so thoughtfully under the oak, tell them I love them and that they too have a piece of my heart. Cut the purple lilacs when they bloom so fragrant, the ones you planted by the front door for me. That heavenly fragrance will rouse them and bring our angels forth to remember how they loved to roll in the dirt and wallow in the shade under those lush green leaves.

I won’t be back again to kneel at their grave and lay flowers there to honor them. Please stand for me again.

It is easy looking back, isn’t it? Why is it only then we choose to remember the good things, the things that really matter? Maybe we just choose to do so once we are apart because remembering the pain of the vicious fights and venomous words we spewed seems trite now, dismissive of what was good with us.

You were the only man I ever let help me. You knew my past, my incredibly dysfunctional upbringing full of abuse. You knew I had to be hard as stone, to do everything myself as I had since I was five. When I became so ill I could not walk without your help, I had to surrender to your hands and I fought it til I could fight no more. You were there to catch me when I collapsed physically and emotionally knowing that for me to trust someone enough to take charge of my body after what my father had done to me years before, took everything I had. It was easier than I thought once I just let go. You made it easy and I will never forget you for that.

But you found someone new.

I have to let you go now. I know that. Selfishly, I don’t want to. I want to put you back on that shelf where I can take you down and talk to you when I want to, when I need to, when I want to be the strength in the cadence of your words and world. But part of me that still loves you tells me to be happy for you. So I will snuff out the selfish thoughts and replace them with love and gratitude to send your way.

I know our polite conversation last night, our first one with her in the home that was once mine, will be our last. I woke this morning to a series of pictures you sent. There was one of you standing behind her with your arms wrapped tight around her shoulders. She has her hands placed on top of yours, holding your hug close to her heart and I felt the beats of mine pause for a moment.

Your eyes are bright and shining again. Tears still fall from mine but they are not all tears of sadness, some are happy tears. That light I see in your eyes was the same light that drew me to you when it was our time to shine.

But you found someone new.

Please don’t send anymore pictures chronicling your love. You have been with her eight long months and I have known of it less than 24 hours. I cannot be that selfless that quickly. It will take some time for me to unravel the strings that tether my heart to yours; they are so intertwined. I should have done it long ago but those damn possibilities kept me from it. It’s time now.

Be happy.

Don’t lie, it is the one thing that really undermines a relationship and saying you’re sorry doesn’t make it ok. Please don’t lie to her.

Please don’t be unfaithful. I forgave you but I could never forget and things were never the same after that.

I hope I taught you well as you taught me. I know you surrendered to me in ways you never had before. In retrospect, maybe we were in each other’s lives to teach and heal so that we were ready for a new level of love, a kinder one, a tender one and hopefully, a wiser one.

You know my writing so well, you always encouraged it so you know that I am a sucker for powerful endings. I spend a lot of time crafting the wind up and tying it into the beginning narrative of my story. This time, this writer cannot muster the big ending for it would be too contrived and this story already has a happy ending, a great finish and wind up – at least for you.

My story hasn’t been written yet perhaps because I haven’t spent much time thinking about it or seeking answers. Perhaps my writing, my new found release is also my prison keeping me house bound and isolated. I don’t know. It seems I’m unsure of everything now.

A piece of my heart will be forever in you care. Please be gentle, for it is now and always was, the most fragile and vulnerable part of me. Listen when it speaks to you. It knows you well and holds the memory of me inside of you.

Speak kindly of me.

This goodbye has tarried on far too long but I now realize by saying goodbye to you, I must say goodbye to it all; all we were, all we might have been and all we were never were going to be.

“But of all these friends and lovers, there is no one compares with you…….in my life, I love you more.” -Beatles

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Terrence Howard + Taraji P. Henson Speak About The New Series, EMPIRE

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Speak Now – Taylor Swift

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Speak Now

Taylor Swift

Genre: Country

Price: $ 13.99

Release Date: October 25, 2010

© ℗ 2010 Big Machine Records, LLC.

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