It’s Christian Grey’s birthday, and to celebrate, E. L. James has given him, and us, the gift of his inner monologue. Her latest book, Grey, out today, offers the events of Fifty Shades of Grey and the beginning of Fifty Shades Darker from the perspective of its mysterious leading man/master of pain.
Why does Christian find meek, ponytailed Anastasia Steele so utterly beguiling? Just what is he thinking each time he treats her to another earth-shattering, physiology-confounding orgasm? Why the deep familiarity with Tess of the d’Urbervilles, the very same book that Ana lives by? (#Soulmates!) Where does he buy his favorite floggers? What about those trusty carabiners? And what’s going through his head when he composes an email using SHOUTY CAPS??
You’ll have to pick up a copy of Grey to find out. But in the spirit of giving, we’re giving you ten nuggets from Christian’s subconscious that just might become your new Twitter bio. Because he’s really into technology (like a MacBook that can get online ANYWHERE, and cutting-edge BlackBerrys). And he may be “fifty shades of fucked up,” but nobody coins a phrase quite like our favorite musk-fragranced, food-obsessed, hard-bodied billionaire dom.
1. “I like to possess things, things that will rise in value, like first editions.”
2. “I do like to keep them guessing how I take my coffee.”
3. “Sometimes it’s just fucking great to be me.”
4. “Incurable romantic who only wears jeans.”
5. “My number one rule: Never fuck the staff.”
6. “Thank heavens for the NDA.”
7. “I do what I always do when I can’t sleep—I check my email.”
8. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen pubic hair up close and personal.”
9. “I forgo the Cristal and the Dom Pérignon for a Bollinger.”
10. “Baby, weird is my middle name.”
The post Ten Lines from E. L. James’s Grey That Should Definitely Be Your New Twitter Bio appeared first on Vogue.
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