“See who’s viewed your profile,” is the new, “Want to know what so and so said about you?” LinkedIn is anything but discreet. The site is like the yenta friend who can’t wait to tell you what someone else did.
Today I got an email saying that only 21 people have looked me up in the past month, making it clear that this is a pathetic number, putting me at the bottom of the pile. It was an unproductive disclosure, given the other email from them offered me a free month in an effort to lure me to upgrade to LinkedIn Premium, which would allow me to find out the names, skills, shoe sizes and whatever else they know about my 21 stalkers.
To shleppers like myself, who don’t pay, they’re cagey, identifying those viewing our profiles as, “someone in the greater Detroit area, someone in publishing” or “someone from Shijiashuang, Hebel, China.” I’m not curious enough to pay to get more specific information, preferring to guess who these someones are. The “someone in the greater Detroit area” remains a mystery, but I can live with it. I’m more curious about which of my neighbors is putting things that should be recycled into the trash. “Someone in publishing” is, no doubt, a major agent or publisher, wanting to be the first to read my memoir. “Someone from Shijiashuang, Hebel, China is probably one of those who’ve found my website, www.personalized-urns.com, and emailed offering to sell me cremation urns at wholesale prices or asking to buy huge quantities from me. I know this is a scam since I am an artist and design one-of-a-kind mosaic urns so don’t have enough years left to need or to turn out the number they claim to want.
Another reason I wouldn’t upgrade is I feel sure that LinkedIn and would immediately announce to all the other premium members, “See who just upgraded and can now check you out and get in touch with you.”
I just hope LinkedIn doesn’t buy Google and let the world know whom we’re googling.
Comedy – The Huffington Post
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