Video of Post Malone Messing with World’s Most Haunted Object, Signs of a Curse

[[tmz:video id=”0_4g5jh0ev”]] Post Malone oughta know — if ya dance with the devil, you’re gonna get cursed, and this super creepy video explains why his life feels like “Final Destination” lately.  Months before Post’s private jet nearly…

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Dark Promise (Between Worlds #1) – Julia Crane & Talia Jager

Julia Crane & Talia Jager - Dark Promise (Between Worlds #1)  artwork

Dark Promise (Between Worlds #1)

Julia Crane & Talia Jager

Genre: Sci-Fi & Fantasy

Publish Date: July 29, 2012

Publisher: Valknut Press

Seller: Dymphna Frazier


Rylie has it all – great friends, dream boy, loving family. But on the eve of her sixteenth birthday, her perfect little world shatters. A stranger claiming to be her real mother appears with a secret: Rylie is a faery whose powers will be unleashed on her birthday. Captured and forced into a new life, Rylie struggles to keep everything she loves and discovers a terrifying truth: some promises cannot be broken.

iTunes Store: Top Free Books in Sci-Fi & Fantasy

Live at the World’s Biggest Rodeo Show – Aaron Watson

Aaron Watson - Live at the World's Biggest Rodeo Show  artwork

Live at the World’s Biggest Rodeo Show

Aaron Watson

Genre: Country

Price: $ 9.99

Release Date: August 24, 2018

© ℗ 2018 Big Label Records

iTunes Store: Top Albums in Country

World’s Greatest Dad – Bobcat Goldthwait

Bobcat Goldthwait - World's Greatest Dad  artwork

World’s Greatest Dad

Bobcat Goldthwait

Genre: Comedy

Price: $ 4.99

Rental Price: $ 3.99

Release Date: December 8, 2009


Robin Williams stars as Lance Clayton, a man who has learned to settle. He dreamed of being a rich and famous writer, but has only managed to make it as a high school poetry teacher. His only son Kyle (Daryl Sabara) is an insufferable jerk who won’t give his father the time of day. He is dating Claire (Alexie Gilmore), the school’s adorable art teacher, but she doesn’t want to get serious — or even acknowledge publicly that they are dating. Then, in the wake of a freak accident, Lance suffers the worst tragedy and greatest opportunity of his life. He is suddenly faced with the possibility of all the fame, fortune and popularity he ever dreamed of, if he can only live with the knowledge of how he got there.

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The World’s End – Edgar Wright

Edgar Wright - The World's End  artwork

The World’s End

Edgar Wright

Genre: Comedy

Price: $ 4.99

Rental Price: $ 3.99

Release Date: August 23, 2013


Simon Pegg and Nick Frost reteam with director Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz) in this wildly entertaining thrill ride that critics call “funny as hell” (Richard Roeper, WLS-AM Chicago) and “sheer comic perfection” (Peter Travers, Rolling Stone). Twenty years after their first epic pub crawl attempt, the “five musketeers” reunite in their home town to complete the ultimate challenge – one night, five friends, twelve bars – a boozy quest on which only the strongest will survive. But after a bizarre series of encounters with the out-of-this-world locals, they soon realize that reaching their final pub, The World’s End, may be the least of their troubles. They’re having the time of their lives, ready to take on the world…but tonight they may have to save it.

© © 2013 Universal Studios. All Rights Reserved.

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The World’s Fastest Drones Want to Start Saving Lives in America

Zipline has proven the concept of a drone distribution system for essential medical products in Africa and Europe. Now it wants to start flying in its home country.
WIRED Videos

Italy’s Osteria Francescana scoops world’s best restaurant prize

Flamboyant chef Massimo Bottura collects top culinary prize at World’s 50 Best Restaurants awards ceremony in Bilbao, Spain. Rough cut (no reporter narration).


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Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus – Best of Both Worlds Concert – Bruce Hendricks

Bruce Hendricks - Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus - Best of Both Worlds Concert  artwork

Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus – Best of Both Worlds Concert

Bruce Hendricks

Genre: Concert Films

Price: $ 17.99

Rental Price: $ 2.99

Release Date: August 19, 2008


Make Some Noise and get ready for the year's most eye-popping, dance-in-your-seat music experience with Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus Best Of Both Worlds Concert and Movie! For the first time ever, Miley performs as herself and Hannah in the same epic show! With a special appearance by the Jonas Brothers.

© © Disney

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We Found the World’s Most Comfortable Underwear

Finding that perfect pair of boxers, briefs or trunks can be a near-impossible mission. Some options are too expensive, or made from fabric that’s not soft enough to keep against your skin all day. Understandably, when you do hit the jackpot and find undergarments that you’re pleased with, you protect them at all costs. Thankfully, MeUndies can take the legwork out of finding the perfect pair (or for waiting until someone gifts you a pair you actually like).

The post We Found the World’s Most Comfortable Underwear appeared first on Men's Journal.

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The World’s Fastest Drones Want to Start Saving Lives in America

Zipline has proven the concept of a drone distribution system for essential medical products in Africa and Europe. Now it wants to start flying in its home country.
WIRED Videos

Bonobos Is Introducing the World’s Best-Fitting Underwear

In menswear, fit is everything. And while a good tailor can cut and sew pretty much any garment to within a quarter inch of your body, some guys just deal with the fact that the most important thing they put on everyday (their underwear) only comes in sizes small, medium, and large.

The post Bonobos Is Introducing the World's Best-Fitting Underwear appeared first on Men's Journal.

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Walk Between Worlds – Simple Minds

Simple Minds - Walk Between Worlds  artwork

Walk Between Worlds

Simple Minds

Genre: Rock

Price: $ 9.99

Release Date: February 2, 2018

© ℗ 2018 BMG Rights Management (UK) Limited

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Lamborghini Toasted the World’s Toughest Track with Air Instead of Horsepower

Supercars are usually super thanks to monstrous power. The engineers at Lamborghini turned to some smart air scooping tricks to send the production Huracan around the Nurburgring track in record time.
WIRED Videos

The World’s Greatest Poker Players Answer 14 Questions – Mike Romiltan

Mike Romiltan - The World's Greatest Poker Players Answer 14 Questions  artwork

The World’s Greatest Poker Players Answer 14 Questions

Mike Romiltan

Genre: Games

Publish Date: February 21, 2017

Publisher: Rodney Ohebsion

Seller: Draft2Digital, LLC


Einstein and Newton were smart guys. But if you want to study the mind of a true genius, the best place to find one is not a science laboratory. It's a casino. Because that's the workplace of society's finest intellectual specimen: the professional poker player. In The World's Greatest Poker Players Answer 14 Questions, Mike Romiltan picks the brains of some of the game's most brilliant and succesful players, including poker legend Doyle Brunson, 14-time bracelet winner Phil Hellmuth, the ridiculously wealthy Antonio Esfandiari, the ever arrogant Doug Polk, speech-play grandmaster William Kassouf, and many others. The book is essential reading for all poker fans, as well as anyone who has an advanced appreciation of the human mind. 

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Mandorla Awakening II: Emerging Worlds – Nicole Mitchell

Nicole Mitchell - Mandorla Awakening II: Emerging Worlds  artwork

Mandorla Awakening II: Emerging Worlds

Nicole Mitchell

Genre: Jazz

Price: $ 8.99

Release Date: May 5, 2017

© ℗ 2017 FPE Records

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You Can Now Buy Some of the World’s Most Important Watches Online

There was a time where if you wanted to buy an Omega watch from the comfort of your own couch, your only options were vintage models sold through online watch exchanges or the swirling morass of eBay. And that time ended on Tuesday.

The post You Can Now Buy Some of the World’s Most Important Watches Online appeared first on Men's Journal.

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You Can Now Buy Some of the World’s Most Important Watches Online

There was a time where if you wanted to buy an Omega watch from the comfort of your own couch, your only options were vintage models sold through online watch exchanges or the swirling morass of eBay. And that time ended on

This article originally appeared on www.mensjournal.com: You Can Now Buy Some of the World’s Most Important Watches Online

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Meet Harmony, the World’s 1st AI-Driven Sex Robot

Learning our habits, our likes and dislikes, AI systems like Siri and Alexa have become invaluable confidants — while keeping it strictly professional. If you’ve ever felt like taking your relationship to the next level, with RealDoll’s latest innovation, there’s an app for that — and her name is Harmony.
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The War of the Worlds (Dramatized) – Orson Welles

Orson Welles - The War of the Worlds (Dramatized)  artwork

The War of the Worlds (Dramatized)

Orson Welles

Genre: Sci Fi & Fantasy

Price: $ 0.95

Publish Date: July 11, 2012

© ℗ © 2012 ABN

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World’s Hottest Lesbians 3: The Orgy Express

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New Worlds – Bill Murray, Jan Vogler & Friends

Bill Murray, Jan Vogler & Friends - New Worlds  artwork

New Worlds

Bill Murray, Jan Vogler & Friends

Genre: Classical Crossover

Price: $ 11.99

Release Date: September 29, 2017

© A Decca Gold Recording;℗2017 UMG Recordings, Inc.

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All These Worlds: Bobiverse, Book 3 (Unabridged) – Dennis E. Taylor

Dennis E. Taylor - All These Worlds: Bobiverse, Book 3 (Unabridged)  artwork

All These Worlds: Bobiverse, Book 3 (Unabridged)

Dennis E. Taylor

Genre: Sci Fi & Fantasy

Price: $ 17.95

Publish Date: August 8, 2017

© ℗ © 2017 Audible Studios

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Hot Octopuss Hosting ‘World’s 1st Pop-Up Orgasm Shop’ in N.Y.

To celebrate the launch of the Queen Bee massager, on Aug. 10-11 Hot Octopuss will open the doors to The Changing Room — the world’s first pop-up orgasm shop.
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Designers on the Sidelines: Former Stars Seek New Worlds

LONDON — Where are they now? Observing fashion from the sidelines — or plotting their next move?
After years — sometimes decades — of headlining major fashion houses, unprecedented numbers of design talents are no longer working in the 24/7 glare of the industry.
They’ve quit their jobs — or been sacked. Some are taking extended sabbaticals or focusing on their personal lives. Others have moved on to new industries, or are thinking of fresh approaches in a fast-changing fashion world.
Designers  who were once much fawned over and who are now on the sidelines include Riccardo Tisci, Alber Elbaz, Hedi Slimane, Stefano Pilati, Peter Copping, Francisco Costa, Rodolfo Paglialunga, Frida Giannini and Marco Zanini, to name a few. The latest left idle is Bouchra Jarrar, who exited Lanvin after showing just two collections for the house.
The cutthroat nature of the industry means big-name designers are treated like European Premier League football managers: No matter how talented you are, it’s one bad season, and you’re out, said professor Frances Corner, head of the London College of Fashion.
Industry observers — and those who work with designers — say it’s a sign of these fast-paced, digitally driven times, where the pressure is on to deliver multiple

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Unacknowledged: An Exposé of the World’s Greatest Secret – Michael Mazzola

Michael Mazzola - Unacknowledged: An Exposé of the World's Greatest Secret  artwork

Unacknowledged: An Exposé of the World’s Greatest Secret

Michael Mazzola

Genre: Documentary

Price: $ 9.99

Rental Price: $ 3.99

Release Date: May 9, 2017


"Unacknowledged" focuses on the historic files of the Disclosure Project and how UFO secrecy has been ruthlessly enforced – and why. The best evidence for Extraterrestrial contact, dating back decades, is presented with direct top-secret witness testimony, documents and UFO footage, 80% of which has never been revealed anywhere else. The behind-the-scenes research and high level meetings convened by Dr. Steven Greer will expose the degree of illegal, covert operations at the core of UFO secrecy. From briefings with the CIA Director, top Pentagon Generals and Admirals, to the briefing of President Obama via senior advisor John Podesta, chairman of the Hillary Clinton Campaign – we take the viewer behind the veil of secrecy and into the corridors of real power where the UFO secrets reside. The viewer will learn that a silent coup d’état has occurred dating back to the 1950s and that the Congress, the President and other world leaders have been sidelined by criminal elements within the Military-Industrial-Financial complex.

© © 2017 STAR Unacknowledged, LLC

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Andy McBean and the War of the Worlds – Dale Kutzera

Dale Kutzera - Andy McBean and the War of the Worlds  artwork

Andy McBean and the War of the Worlds

Dale Kutzera

Genre: Adventure

Publish Date: October 6, 2014

Publisher: Dale Kutzera

Seller: Smashwords


The Amazing Adventures of Andy McBean starts with a War of the Worlds and continues 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. In this lavishly illustrated novel, Andy is struggling to survive Middle School after spending much of the last year in the hospital battling leukemia. Then one night a meteor storm devastates the county, cutting off power and communications. One giant boulder skids to a halt on Andy’s front lawn. The glowing meteor draws the attention of neighbors, the media, the army, and even the new girl from Andy’s art class. He is thrilled at the notoriety, but everything changes when the meteor cracks opens and a towering machine steps out. Separated from his family, Andy must fend for himself and rescue his friends. Join Andy on this thrilling adventure as he meets an alien, learns what they want on planet earth, and devises a bold plan to stop them.

iTunes Store: Top Free Books in Sci-Fi & Fantasy

News in Brief: New Study Finds Box Still World’s Most Popular Container

PHILADELPHIA—Noting its ability to enclose, protect, and transport a wide variety of objects, a University of Pennsylvania study published Monday confirmed that the box remains the world’s most popular container. “We found that when something needs to be stored or moved—be it tools, jewelry, pizza, even ballots—people tend to put their trust in a box more often than, say, a bucket or satchel,” said the study’s lead author, Susan Kemmis, who highlighted the rectangular containers’ stackability and closable top as the key assets that set them apart from bags. “Whether the item or items to be stowed away are large, small, heavy, or light, there tends to be a box of appropriate dimensions and rigidity to adequately contain them. The same can’t be said of baskets, jugs, or barrels.” While later admitting that crates are the go-to container for shipping purposes, Kemmis emphasized that …




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News in Brief: New Study Finds Box Still World’s Most Popular Container

PHILADELPHIA—Noting its ability to enclose, protect, and transport a wide variety of objects, a University of Pennsylvania study published Monday confirmed that the box remains the world’s most popular container. “We found that when something needs to be stored or moved—be it tools, jewelry, pizza, even ballots—people tend to put their trust in a box more often than, say, a bucket or satchel,” said the study’s lead author, Susan Kemmis, who highlighted the rectangular containers’ stackability and closable top as the key assets that set them apart from bags. “Whether the item or items to be stowed away are large, small, heavy, or light, there tends to be a box of appropriate dimensions and rigidity to adequately contain them. The same can’t be said of baskets, jugs, or barrels.” While later admitting that crates are the go-to container for shipping purposes, Kemmis emphasized that …




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The War of the Worlds – H.G. Wells

H.G. Wells - The War of the Worlds  artwork

The War of the Worlds

H.G. Wells

Genre: Sci-Fi & Fantasy

Publish Date: July 24, 1992

Publisher: The Project Gutenberg

Seller: Scott Reid


The War of the Worlds is a science fiction novel by H. G. Wells, first published in 1898. It is the first-person narrative of the adventures of an unnamed protagonist and his brother in Surrey and London as Earth is invaded by Martians. Written between 1895 and 1897, it is one of the earliest stories that detail a conflict between mankind and an extraterrestrial race. The novel is one of the most commented-on works in the science fiction canon. The War of the Worlds has two parts, Book One: The Coming of the Martians and Book Two: The Earth under the Martians. The narrator, a philosophically-inclined author, struggles to return to his wife while seeing the Martians lay waste to southern England. Book One also imparts the experience of his brother, also unnamed, who describes events in the capital and escapes the Martians by boarding a ship near Tillingham, on the Essex coast.

iTunes Store: Top Free Books in Sci-Fi & Fantasy

Welcome To The World’s Only ’90s Nostalgia Retreat Complex

Are you tired of the world we currently live in? Wanna get back to a simpler time, when things made sense? Maybe … the ’90s?!

Introducing the new ’90s Nostalgia Retreat!

From the trends to the celebs to the day Kurt Cobain died, at the ’90s Nostalgia Retreat, you can experience everything that made the 1990s the best decade that has ever existed.*

*Except for swing dancing. That was terrible. We all know it. Someone was asleep at the wheel for that one.

 

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Itch: Nine Tales of Fantastic Worlds – Kris Austen Radcliffe

Kris Austen Radcliffe - Itch: Nine Tales of Fantastic Worlds  artwork

Itch: Nine Tales of Fantastic Worlds

Kris Austen Radcliffe

Genre: Science Fiction

Publish Date: September 19, 2015

Publisher: Talon One Science Fiction

Seller: Draft2Digital, LLC


Zombies. Pirates. Time Travel. Dragons. And one giant, walking city… Honey to Soothe the Itch: In a zombie-filled dystopic future, one woman fights against death to bring the world back to life. A Man Does Not Sneak Away: Meet Edward Landon Marcus Strevakoff, Time Hygiene Field Worker extraordinaire… but sometimes the time stream refuses to stay clean and tidy. Fey Street: Just to the left, and maybe a little ahead, we find a magical present not all that different from our own…. The Taste of Marbles: One woman's only comprehension of the passage of time is its taste. Diamonds and Bones: A young space pirate harbors a machine intelligence deep in the orbit of Jupiter. Callous: Military service may have left grad student Brandon with the implants necessary for time travel, but it also left an… itch. Cop Killer: Up, down, left, right–you never know which way you're pointing when you're traveling inside the arm of giant walking city… Itch also includes two tales from the Fate – Fire – Shifter – Dragon universe: Conpulsio:  During the infamous night Vesuvius destroys Pompeii, two important questions must be answered:  Who is bound?  Who is compelled? Cinder to Dust, a mother makes the most agonizing decision of her life…

iTunes Store: Top Free Books in Sci-Fi & Fantasy

Itch: Nine Tales of Fantastic Worlds – Kris Austen Radcliffe

Kris Austen Radcliffe - Itch: Nine Tales of Fantastic Worlds  artwork

Itch: Nine Tales of Fantastic Worlds

Kris Austen Radcliffe

Genre: Science Fiction

Publish Date: September 19, 2015

Publisher: Talon One Science Fiction

Seller: Draft2Digital, LLC


Zombies. Pirates. Time Travel. Dragons. And one giant, walking city… Honey to Soothe the Itch: In a zombie-filled dystopic future, one woman fights against death to bring the world back to life. A Man Does Not Sneak Away: Meet Edward Landon Marcus Strevakoff, Time Hygiene Field Worker extraordinaire… but sometimes the time stream refuses to stay clean and tidy. Fey Street: Just to the left, and maybe a little ahead, we find a magical present not all that different from our own…. The Taste of Marbles: One woman's only comprehension of the passage of time is its taste. Diamonds and Bones: A young space pirate harbors a machine intelligence deep in the orbit of Jupiter. Callous: Military service may have left grad student Brandon with the implants necessary for time travel, but it also left an… itch. Cop Killer: Up, down, left, right–you never know which way you're pointing when you're traveling inside the arm of giant walking city… Itch also includes two tales from the Fate – Fire – Shifter – Dragon universe: Conpulsio:  During the infamous night Vesuvius destroys Pompeii, two important questions must be answered:  Who is bound?  Who is compelled? Cinder to Dust, a mother makes the most agonizing decision of her life…

iTunes Store: Top Free Books in Sci-Fi & Fantasy

Itch: Nine Tales of Fantastic Worlds – Kris Austen Radcliffe

Kris Austen Radcliffe - Itch: Nine Tales of Fantastic Worlds  artwork

Itch: Nine Tales of Fantastic Worlds

Kris Austen Radcliffe

Genre: Science Fiction

Publish Date: September 19, 2015

Publisher: Talon One Science Fiction

Seller: Draft2Digital, LLC


Zombies. Pirates. Time Travel. Dragons. And one giant, walking city… Honey to Soothe the Itch: In a zombie-filled dystopic future, one woman fights against death to bring the world back to life. A Man Does Not Sneak Away: Meet Edward Landon Marcus Strevakoff, Time Hygiene Field Worker extraordinaire… but sometimes the time stream refuses to stay clean and tidy. Fey Street: Just to the left, and maybe a little ahead, we find a magical present not all that different from our own…. The Taste of Marbles: One woman's only comprehension of the passage of time is its taste. Diamonds and Bones: A young space pirate harbors a machine intelligence deep in the orbit of Jupiter. Callous: Military service may have left grad student Brandon with the implants necessary for time travel, but it also left an… itch. Cop Killer: Up, down, left, right–you never know which way you're pointing when you're traveling inside the arm of giant walking city… Itch also includes two tales from the Fate – Fire – Shifter – Dragon universe: Conpulsio:  During the infamous night Vesuvius destroys Pompeii, two important questions must be answered:  Who is bound?  Who is compelled? Cinder to Dust, a mother makes the most agonizing decision of her life…

iTunes Store: Top Free Books in Sci-Fi & Fantasy

‘The Flash’: Season 2 – ‘Flash Of Two Worlds’

Scenes from ‘The Flash’ Season 2, Episode 2 – ‘Flash of Two Worlds.’


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World’s Tallest Actress Wants Protection … From ‘Amazon’ Shooter

Lindsay Kay Hayward says a guy with a gun has made her life miserable and she needs a judge to protect her from harassment and harm. Lindsay — the nearly 7 footer on TLC’s “My Giant Life” — claims her manager has guns, practices shooting…

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American Voices: World’s Oldest Decapitation Unearthed

Archaeologists digging in Brazil have unearthed a disembodied skull dating back 9,000 years, suggesting that ritual decapitation of community members was a custom deeply rooted in early hunter-gatherer culture, though the evidence suggests that the head was was only removed after death as a burial rite. What do you think?




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Into the Darkness: Crimson Worlds Refugees, Book 1 (Unabridged) – Jay Allan

Jay Allan - Into the Darkness: Crimson Worlds Refugees, Book 1 (Unabridged)  artwork

Into the Darkness: Crimson Worlds Refugees, Book 1 (Unabridged)

Jay Allan

Genre: Sci Fi & Fantasy

Price: $ 21.95

Publish Date: September 15, 2015

© ℗ © 2015 Audible Studios

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Hip-Hop Cash Kings 2015: The World’s Highest-Paid Rap Acts

“Don’t worry if I write rhymes, I write checks,” Sean Combs once rapped. That advisory still holds true: Diddy earned $ 60 million over the past year, more than any other hip-hop act in the world.
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Call Him ‘Lickasso’: Man Paints Beaver With World’s Longest Tongue

The man with the world’s longest tongue is doing what he was born to do: Paint a beaver with his tongue.

Nick Stoeberl, 26, currently holds the Guinness World Record for world’s longest tongue – a whopping 3.97 inches from tip to closed lip.

That honor might be enough for some people, but Stoeberl feels a giant tongue is nothing if not used for the betterment of humanity.

“It’s a gift,” he told HuffPost. “I have to use it.”

So Stoeberl has started using his licker as a paint brush, making portraits and art works by dipping his tongue in acrylic paint and then onto canvas.

Stoeberl has done numerous tongue paintings including one of talk show host Steve Harvey, but is proudest of his most recent work: A giant beaver.

“This painting definitely appeals to my taste,” he said. “I’m fascinated by beavers.”

 

Stoeberl, who also works as a sharp-tongued standup comedian, was inspired to become a tongue painter two years ago after seeing the work of a tongue painter in India.

“However, when I heard him talk about the nausea he experiences putting the paint in his mouth, I realized I needed to cover my tongue with Saran Wrap first,” he said.

It took Stoeberl about six hours to complete the beaver painting.

“The area surrounding the beaver was easier to lick than the beaver itself,” he said.

Stoeberl’s work with his tongue is more of a novelty than anything else, but the beaver portrait has earned him a spot in the record books.

RecordSetter.com, a website that specializes in wacky records said Stoeberl’s beaver painting, which measures 36 inches by 24 inches is the Largest Painting Of A Beaver Painted Using Tongue.

Stoeberl plans to focus his tongue and his creativity toward doing works inspired by Andy Warhol, but is also considering doing a whole series of paintings focused on his favorite animal: the beaver.

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Yoko Ono to Commemorate John Lennon’s 75th Birthday With World’s Largest Human Peace Sign

In honor of what would have been John Lennon’s 75th birthday, Yoko Ono is organizing the world’s largest human peace sign.
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Meet the world’s tallest married couple — with a combined height of nearly 14 feet

Love, as they say, has no limits. Nor does it have any height restrictions.


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Guy Has World’s Loneliest Bachelor Party After Friends’ Flights Get Canceled

There are three words no man should ever have to say at a bachelor party: “Table for one.”

Thanks to a handful of canceled flights Thursday evening, that’s been the reality of Robbie* Chernow, a New Yorker who flew into Chicago for his friend Jake’s bachelor party this weekend, then ended up carrying the torch alone.

 *(“Too immature for Robert and not cool enough for Rob,” he told HuffPost.)

“The original plan was for me to get here a few hours earlier, but when I got here I found out that the two other flights with the bachelor and others in the party had both been canceled,” Chernow explained to The Huffington Post, sending along a photo of a canceled ticket as proof of the mishap, “and they couldn’t rebook in a timely fashion — thanks Delta!”

Despite his friends’ absence, Chernow, who does improv, determined to push on through each of the planned events, documenting the hilariously sad trip on Instagram with the hashtag #chicagoforone.

“I’ve been sticking to our planned agenda pretty much step for step — just alone,” Chernow added. “I’ve also changed some little things … since the scheduled “get ready” time is much shorter for one person than 10.”

So far, he says, the highlight has been meeting Chicagoans, whom he describes as “encouraging and accommodating.” Once he got over the initial shock, he’s had a pretty great time — despite his apparent sadness in every photo.

Here’s what Robbie has been up to so far:

He went to a Bears game! (They won 24-0.)

A photo posted by Robert Chernow (@rwchernow) on

Apparently everyone in my section also tried to take Delta to get here.”

 

He went on a boat ride!

A photo posted by Robert Chernow (@rwchernow) on

“I have so much room on this boat for all my friends who’s [sic] flights to Chicago got canceled.”

 

He set up a Tinder profile! (In search of friendship)

A photo posted by Robert Chernow (@rwchernow) on

Things got “real weird, real quick.”

A photo posted by Robert Chernow (@rwchernow) on

 

He grabbed one of Chicago’s famous Italian beef sandwiches!

A photo posted by Robert Chernow (@rwchernow) on

“This is Theresa. She works at Portillo’s. According to Theresa, ‘these sandwiches are normally meant to be shared, but you seem sad enough to finish one by yourself.’ Thanks, Theresa!”

 

He visited a spa! (Well, kind of…)

A photo posted by Robert Chernow (@rwchernow) on

 

He went to 360 Chicago to take in the view! (It was foggy, a fact the ticket agent had warned him about.)

A photo posted by Robert Chernow (@rwchernow) on

A photo posted by Robert Chernow (@rwchernow) on

 

He saw The Bean!

A photo posted by Robert Chernow (@rwchernow) on

“Both my hotel concierge Alex and new friends on Tinder agree — The Bean at Millennial Park is a must for a great photo-shoot. ‘It’s the perfect for spot for a wacky photo with all your friends in front of the Chicago Skyline.’ Thanks, Alex!”

 

He visited a park!

A photo posted by Robert Chernow (@rwchernow) on

Chernow told HuffPost his friends should be landing in Chicago sometime Friday afternoon, leaving plenty of time to celebrate before the group’s planned departure on Monday. 

Until then, visit Chernow’s Instagram page to follow along on what just might be the world’s loneliest bachelor party.

CORRECTION: An earlier version of this post said the Bears lost the game. The team won.

Also on HuffPost:

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Comedy – The Huffington Post
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Miley Cyrus’ (AKA The World’s) 15 Most Outrageous Outfits

This Sunday, we’re in for a real treat: Miley Cyrus is set to host the  2015 MTV Video Music Awards. And if history has shown us anything, Cyrus goes all out for this particular award show. In past years, the singer has worn a latex two-piece and a skimpy teddy bear costume in front of millions of viewers.

In anticipation of her antics this weekend, we’ve rounded up 16 of her most outrageous looks ever. Do you think she’ll be able to top any of the looks below?

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War of the Worlds (Dramatized) – Orson Welles

Orson Welles - War of the Worlds (Dramatized)  artwork

War of the Worlds (Dramatized)

Orson Welles

Genre: Sci Fi & Fantasy

Price: $ 0.95

Publish Date: July 12, 2012

© ℗ © 2012 ABN

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Downey Jr. is world’s top-earning actor by Forbes

The magazine says Robert Downey Jr. earned $ 80 million in 2015. Alicia Powell reports.


Reuters Video: Entertainment

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The World’s Favorite Piano Music – Van Cliburn

Van Cliburn - The World's Favorite Piano Music  artwork

The World’s Favorite Piano Music

Van Cliburn

Genre: Classical

Price: $ 9.99

Release Date: June 29, 1992

© ℗ 1992 BMG Entertainment

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Defiance – Syfy & Trion Worlds

Syfy & Trion Worlds - Defiance  artwork

Defiance

The Essential Guide

Syfy & Trion Worlds

Genre: Arts & Entertainment

Publish Date: April 1, 2013

Publisher: NBC Publishing

Seller: NBC Publishing


Defiance: The Essential Guide by Syfy and Trion Worlds is the perfect interactive companion to the groundbreaking TV series and the incredible multiplayer game.  Set in the near future, Defiance introduces an exotically transformed planet Earth, its landscapes permanently altered following the sudden – and tumultuous – arrival of seven unique alien races.  In this somewhat unknown and unpredictable landscape, the richly diverse, newly-formed civilization of humans and aliens must learn to co-exist peacefully. Each week, viewers will follow an immersive character drama set in the boom-town of Defiance, which sits atop the ruins of St. Louis, MO, while in the game, players will adventure in the new frontier of the San Francisco Bay area.  The dramatic tapestry of the series and the intense action of the game will exist in a single universe where their respective narratives will inform one another and evolve together into one overall story. Defiance: The Essential Guide features the following: • Character profiles • Behind-the-scenes photos and videos • Secret game codes • "Making Of" videos • 3D animations • Alien language translator • Defiance ePostcards • Downloadable show episodes • And much more! This interactive book is a "must-have" for any fan of the show and the game. Download Defiance , the book, today!

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Ralph Lauren Hosted the World’s Most Adorable Fashion Show, Starring Maddie Ziegler

Is Ralph Lauren fostering the next generation of Karlies, Kendalls, and Gigis? Seems so, as there were more than a few supermodels-in-the-making at Tuesday evening's Polo Ralph Lauren Children's show at the Central Park Zoo…


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Russell Simmons’ Art For Life Gala Gathers the Fine Art World’s Finest

For a select group, the Art For Life gala, held in Water Mill, announces the real start of the summer. Russell Simmons’ annual charity benefit –…
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The world’s biggest ‘Star Wars’ collection

Rancho Obi-Wan has 300,000 unique “Star Wars”-related pieces, earning it the Guinness world record for “Largest Collection of Star Wars Memorabilia.”


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Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End – Gore Verbinski

Gore Verbinski - Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End  artwork

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End

Gore Verbinski

Genre: Action & Adventure

Price: $ 17.99

Rental Price: $ 2.99

Release Date: May 24, 2007


Just when he's needed most, Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp), that witty and wily charmer of a pirate, is trapped on a sea of sand in Davy Jones' Locker. In an increasingly shaky alliance, Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) and Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) begin a desperate quest to find and rescue him. Captain Jack's the last of the nine Pirate Lords of the Brethren Court who must come together united in one last stand to preserve the freedom-loving pirates' way of life. From exotic Singapore to World's End and beyond, from Shipwreck Island to a titanic battle, this adventure's filled with over-the-edge action, irreverent humor and seafaring myth and magic. Everything has led to this twisting, turning, wild swashbuckling ride in this final chapter of the PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN trilogy.

© © 2007 Disney Enterprises, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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American Voices: World’s Oldest Sperm Discovered

While on an Antarctic search for evidence of small mammal bones, researchers inadvertently discovered the oldest animal sperm on record, a 50-million-year-old worm sperm inside a fossilized cocoon, though the sperm was broken into fragments and will be unable to shed light on the anatomy of the worm species. What do you think?



The Onion

R. Kelly — World’s Greatest Cheapskate … Bro Says He Got Stiffed

R. Kelly worked his brother to the bone — 144 hours/week according to Bruce Kelly … who says he never got a dime, so now he’s blowing the whistle on the singer with the State of Illinois. Bruce says his younger bro hired him in March as a personal…

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TMZ Celebrity News for Music


The World’s Greatest Marches Performed By the Masters of March – The John Phillips Sousa Orchestra

The John Phillips Sousa Orchestra - The World's Greatest Marches Performed By the Masters of March  artwork

The World’s Greatest Marches Performed By the Masters of March

The John Phillips Sousa Orchestra

Genre: Classical

Price: $ 9.99

Release Date: July 25, 2007

© ℗ 2006 Platinum Music Libraries

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KLG, Hoda reveal top 3 winners of World’s Ugliest Dog contest

It was a “ruff” competition but someone had to be named the winner. Kathie Lee and Hoda reveal which dogs placed in the top three spots.


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Jilted Bride Penned The World’s Most Depressing eBay Listing

Wedding dresses for sale on eBay are a dime a dozen. But this listing is different — this woman’s dress has a sob story to tell.

“Rejected wedding dress seeks lasting love and holy matrimony,” a UK listing that went up earlier this week reads. From there, the dress takes the reins and spins its sad, sad tale.

ebay

“I was supposed to be worn at City Hall in New York,” the size 8 ivory lace Diane von Furstenberg number says. “I was going to be the main attraction of a 60s wedding theme. I was going to be low-key, but elegant (I still am, for that matter).”

But then the owner and her Brooklyn-based hubby-to-be ended their relationship — and things began looking pretty dismal for the dress. “She kept me in the box. Because she couldn’t bear to look at me. I am a constant reminder to her of what could have been. So she wants to sell me.”

Oof, you’re killing us, little DVF dress.

According to Metro, the would-be-bride behind the listing is a 30-year-old British woman who wishes to remain unnamed. Read her ad in its holy-God-that’s-depressing entirety below:

I was supposed to be worn at City Hall in New York.

I was going to be the main attraction of a 60s wedding theme.

I was going to be low-key, but elegant (I still am, for that matter).

I was going to complement a 60s updo, nude courts and a bouquet of Lily of the Valley.

When my owner put on a dress just like me in Selfridges, she knew I was the one so she ordered me online and had me delivered to her husband-to-be in Brooklyn.

I’m not over the top, nor am I too dressed down, and she thought she could perhaps wear me to other occasions in the future.

She thought I was a dress she could look back on and smile, not cringe at fashion faux pas (she was right).

When I arrived, she kept me sealed in my box so nothing could ruin me.

Then they split up.

And she kept me in the box.

Because she couldn’t bear to look at me.

I am a constant reminder to her of what could have been.

So she wants to sell me.

Not necessarily to a bride, but to anyone looking to give me the home I deserve.

A home where I’ll get worn and admired and dry-cleaned (as and when necessary).

She can’t take me back to DVF because they no longer stock me.

I’m limited edition, if you like.

And the first time I have been taken out of my box is for these photos.

Because who’s going to buy a dress based on a picture of a box?

I can’t wait to be worn by you (and to see the back of my cardboard confines once and for all).

Love,
Zarita (in Ivory).
xx

H/T Jezebel

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Style – The Huffington Post
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Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus – Best of Both Worlds Concert – Bruce Hendricks

Bruce Hendricks - Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus - Best of Both Worlds Concert  artwork

Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus – Best of Both Worlds Concert

Bruce Hendricks

Genre: Concert Films

Price: $ 17.99

Rental Price: $ 2.99

Release Date: August 19, 2008


Make Some Noise and get ready for the year's most eye-popping, dance-in-your-seat music experience with Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus Best Of Both Worlds Concert and Movie! For the first time ever, Miley performs as herself and Hannah in the same epic show! With a special appearance by the Jonas Brothers.

© © Disney

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Would Jurassic World’s New Dinosaur Win in an Epic Showdown?

Who would win in a battle of the dinos? “Jurassic World” consultant and renowned paleontologist Jack Horner gives us his picks, if the new “Jurassic World” dinosaur Indominus rex came face-to-face with a Tyrannosaurus rex and a velociraptor.
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Creating Jurassic World’s New Genetically Modified Dinosaur

Legendary paleontologist Jack Horner—the real-life inspiration behind original “Jurassic Park” protagonist Alan Grant—explains how they conceived the genetically modified dino, Indominus rex, in the new film “Jurassic World.”
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Drake Discusses ‘Being The Bridge’ Between The Worlds Of Art And Music: Watch

Drake explains the goals of his exhibition at Sotheby’s in a new video released by the art house.
News

Man Creates World’s Largest Whoopee Cushion (VIDEO)

Talk about a buzzkill: Los Angeles-based artist Onur Armagan managed to build what he believes is the world’s largest functioning whoopie cushion.

But is his cat impressed? Nope.

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Worlds Unseen – Rachel Starr Thomson

Rachel Starr Thomson - Worlds Unseen  artwork

Worlds Unseen

The Seventh World Trilogy, no. 1

Rachel Starr Thomson

Genre: Fantasy

Publish Date: December 4, 2009

Publisher: Rachel Starr Thomson

Seller: Smashwords


The Council for Exploration Into Worlds Unseen believed there was more to reality than the Empire had taught them—but when they came a little too close to the truth, tragedy ended their work, leaving the terrifying and beautiful world behind their own still hidden. As he lays dying forty years later, one of the last Council members entrusts an ancient relic to an orphaned young woman named Maggie Sheffield: a scroll that will reveal the truth at last. Along with the Gypsy Nicolas Fisher, who hears things no one else can, Maggie sets out on a journey across the Seventh World to deliver the scroll to a group of rebels in the east. But the price of truth may be too high: for Maggie and Nicolas are tearing at the Veil between the seen and the unseen, between good and evil, between forgotten past and treacherous future. Monstrous forces are already on their trail. And when the Veil grows thin enough, it’s anyone’s guess what may come through. Worlds Unseen is the first book in The Seventh World Trilogy.

iTunes Store: Top Free Books in Sci-Fi & Fantasy

LEGO Worlds Debut Trailer

gt_massive-thumb_legoworlds_debut

A procedurally generated World built entirely in LEGO is now yours to explore as the Early Access beta hits Steam.
GameTrailers.com Videos Hub

Who Won Survivor: Worlds Apart?

A landmark 30th season of Survivor has come to an end, meaning another Sole Survivor has been crowned. 

So who walked away with the title, and were they white collar, blue collar,…


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A Hair Colorist Spills His Secrets to Looking Like the World’s Most Natural Redhead

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Cannes: Colombian Helmer Explores Lost Worlds in Serpent


Ciro Guerra delves into the Amazonian jungle for a dreamlike tale about clashing cultures, shamanism and the shifting nature of time.

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International

World’s Chillest Batter Catches Ball With Elbow Or Something, Hilarious Announcers Go Crazy

The sight of a baseball hurling toward your body provokes fear in most people. But Johnny Sewald of the Arizona State baseball team is not most people.

The outfielder caught a baseball with, like, his elbow or something while up to bat against the Washington State Cougars on Saturday. Calm, cool and collected, Sewald then surprised the crowd by dropping the ball into his hand and tossing it back to Washington State pitcher Layne Bruner, who acted like it was no big deal as well.

The announcers, who are soon to become Internet legends, did not act so chill. Here is a rough transcript of their hilarious reaction, but you should really just listen yourself:

Ooh. Did he catch it? Yaaa-HAAAAAH, wooooo! HAHA. CHECK THIS OUT. WHAT. JUST. HAPPENED? HE CAUGHT IT. AND THEN HE THREW IT BACK AT HIM. THIS COULD BE ONE OF THE GREATEST THINGS I’VE EVER SEEN ON A BASEBALL FIELD. DO IT, JOHNNY. HAHAHAHA. [Clap. Clap. Clap.] AH, SON.

Sports, man. Sports.

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Comedy – The Huffington Post
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California Roots Music Festival Is One of World’s Largest Reggae Events – the Secret Behind the Success

It happened here: the first major appearances of Jimi Hendrix, The Who, Janis Joplin, Otis Redding and more. No we’re not talking about Woodstock. Before Woodstock. In a quiet seaside town known more for sardines than kissing the sky.Monterey, California.The Monterey Pop Festival was a sold-out music event in June 1967. Among the notables…
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3-D Mapping The World’s Coral — to Save It

Coral reefs are under threat, but measuring the loss has been difficult. To get a better and faster picture of coral health, researchers developed a new incredibly accurate 3D mapping system.

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Cannes readies for world’s biggest cinema showcase

With just one day to go until the Cannes film festival kicks off fans and critics gather in southern France ready for movie magic. Rough Cut (no reporter narration).


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19 Dramatic Animals Who Think All The World’s A Stage

CURTAINS UP!

1. I’M MORE OF A SOLO PERFORMER.


gifbay.com via Giphy

2. I’M NOT AVAILABLE FOR AN INTERVIEW AT THE MOMENT


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3. THIS IS YOUR NIGHT. THE NIGHT BELONGS TO YOU.


wetskinnybikedreams/Reddit via Giphy

4. I’LL TAKE MY STANDING OVATION NOW.


gifbay.com via Giphy

5. LOOK, ‘THE TIMES’ SAID I WAS A SMASHING HIT.


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6. DRAW ME LIKE ONE OF YOUR FRENCH GIRLS.


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7. NO COFFEE? UGH DEPRESSO.


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8. EVERYTHING I KNOW I LEARNED FROM TYRA.


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9. HAYYY.


littleanimalgifs/Tumblr via Giphy

10. LATER, HATERS.

gifs.tastefullyoffensive.com via Giphy

11. DANCING IN A TUX IS MY THING. I KILL IT AT WEDDINGS.

cheezburger.com via Giphy

12. THIS IS NO SWEAT FOR A SUPER ATHLETE LIKE ME.


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13. NOTHING IS GOING TO STAND IN MY WAY.


iBleedorange/Reddit via Giphy

14. YOU SEE THE STARS IN THESE EYES?


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15. I’M BASICALLY A SHOW-STOPPER.


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16. I’M READY FOR MY CLOSEUP.


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17. TURNT.


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18. #FITNESSGOALS.


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19. CAN I LIVE.


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Comedy – The Huffington Post
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‘World’s Most Extravangant Easter Bunny’ Is Worth $49K, Has Diamonds For Eyes

The company that first brought us the world’s most expensive gingerbread house, the most expensive Christmas pudding and a $ 100,000 Valentine’s Day dinner is now offering something egg-cellent for Easter.

Behold, a $ 49,000 Easter bunny outfitted with diamond eyes, because why not:

veryfirstto

The chocolate bunny was carved over a period of two days by Martin Chiffers, former chef décor of Harrods. Made of Tanzania origin chocolate, the bunny weighs 11 pounds and consists of a whopping 548,000 calories. Because as we all know, Easter needs more calories.

And more bling, apparently. According to VeryFirstTo’s press release, the bunny comes with three chocolate eggs decorated with gold leaf and two diamonds worth about $ 37,400.

veryfirstto

veryfirstto

Just in case this Easter treat is too much to eat in one weekend (or you want to show off your purchase for an extended amount of time), the bunny can be stored for up to two years, if properly frozen. An evil-looking Easter bunny that never goes away? Perfect.

No word yet on any bids for the bunny, though we don’t expect there to be many.

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Comedy – The Huffington Post
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Aerie And Gray Malin Team Up To Create The World’s Biggest ‘Unretouched Selfie’

Move over, Kim Kardashian. You just got out-selfied.

American Eagle, Aerie and famed photographer Gray Malin recruited over 1,000 women, including Mae Whitman and DJ/lifestyle guru Hannah Bronfman, in an attempt to create a record-breaking “world’s largest unretouched selfie” Saturday in Miami Beach. Each participant is wearing clothing emblazoned with #AerieREAL, the brand’s mantra. While the photo was snapped on the ground, Malin simultaneously captured the moment from a helicopter.

aerie selfie

The photo falls in line with Aerie’s dedication to ditching Photoshop, celebrating natural beauty and empowering women to be real.

Aerie has continually pushed its message through ad campaigns. This event symbolizes not only a shift toward inclusion in the fashion industry, but also the impact deciding to go sans Photoshop has had on consumers. Jenny Altman, fit and style expert for Aerie, explains:

What better way to make a statement about self expression than taking a selfie? We are so excited to host an iconic pop cultural moment, influencing women around the world to love themselves even when they are the most exposed — in a swimsuit. This photo is a celebration of the change that has happened in the fashion industry and society in general. Girls are strong and confident, whatever their shape, size or style.

love your selfie

Now there’s a selfie worth celebrating.
Style – The Huffington Post
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Chappie Featurette – “World’s First Thinking Robot”

See what everyone is talking about when Chappie hits theaters & IMAX this Friday!

Follow us for exclusive updates:
www.facebook.com/ChappieMovie
http://bit.ly/SonyPicsSubscribe

Release Date: March 6, 2015
In the near future, crime is patrolled by an oppressive mechanized police force. But now, the people are fighting back. When one police droid, Chappie, is stolen and given new programming, he becomes the first robot with the ability to think and feel for himself. As powerful, destructive forces start to see Chappie as a danger to mankind and order, they will stop at nothing to maintain the status quo and ensure that Chappie is the last of his kind.

Directed by: Neill Blomkamp
Written by: Neill Blomkamp & Terri Tatchell
Produced by: Neill Blomkamp & Simon Kinberg
Executive Producer: Ben Waisbren

Cast:
Sharlto Copley
Dev Patel
Ninja and Yo-Landi Vi$ $ er
Jose Pablo Cantillo
with Sigourney Weaver
and Hugh Jackman

Rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America.
Uploads by Sony Pictures Entertainment

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The War of the Worlds – H.G. Wells

H.G. Wells - The War of the Worlds  artwork

The War of the Worlds

H.G. Wells

Genre: Fiction & Literature

Publish Date: June 12, 2012

Publisher: Atria Books

Seller: Simon and Schuster Digital Sales Inc.


The chilling novel account of a Martian invasion of London in the nineteenth century—a science fiction classic for all time. The War of the Worlds inspired the international bestseller The Map of the Sky by Félix J. Palma. As a gift to our readers, we are including an excerpt of The Map of the Sky in this eBook edition.

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Downloading Minecraft Worlds – Nick Mondora

Nick Mondora - Downloading Minecraft Worlds  artwork

Downloading Minecraft Worlds

Nick Mondora

Genre: Games

Publish Date: August 7, 2013

Publisher: Nick Mondora

Seller: nick mondora


This will show you how to download and install Minecraft® PE Maps

iTunes Store: Top Free Books in Arts & Entertainment

Watch Disney World’s Gaston Singlehandedly Destroy This Guy In A Push-Up Contest

Finally, ‘Beauty and the Beast’ villain Gaston has the last laugh!
News

Cirque du Soleil: Worlds Away – Andrew Adamson

Andrew Adamson - Cirque du Soleil: Worlds Away  artwork

Cirque du Soleil: Worlds Away

Andrew Adamson

Genre: Concert Films

Price: $ 14.99

Rental Price: $ 2.99

Release Date: December 21, 2012


Visionary filmmakers James Cameron (Avatar) and Andrew Adamson (Shrek) invite you on a spectacular adventure unlike anything you’ve seen before. Leap, soar, swim and dance with the legendary performers of Cirque du Soleil as they transport a young couple on a “magical journey”* worlds away and beyond imagination. * Rick Bentley

© © 2012 Cirque du Soleil Burlesco, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

iTunes Store: Top Movies in Concert Films

Patagonia’s New Clothing Line Might Be the World’s Most Sustainable

The California-based company is proving that “eco-friendly style” doesn’t need to be an oxymoron.
MensJournal.com: Style

World’s first ‘bionic’ pop star

Viktoria Modesta, who performs with a prosethetic limb, generates millions of views with video ‘Prototype’ during ITV X Factor Final ad break. Rough cut (no reporter narration)


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Some Of The World’s Most Famous Transgender Women Cover CANDY magazine

2014 has been a whirlwind year for mainstream transgender visibility.

As we approach the end of this historic year for individuals identifying across the transgender spectrum, one magazine is celebrating the women who are living authentically and openly at the forefront of the battle for transgender rights.

For its 8th issue, Winter 2014-2015, C☆NDY Magazine brought together fourteen of the most prominent women who have become the faces of the transgender movement.

spread
From left to right: Laverne Cox, Janet Mock, Carmen Carrera, Geena Rocero, Isis King, Gisele Alicea, Leyna Ramous, Dina Marie, Nina Poon, Juliana Huxtable, Niki M’nray, Pêche Di, Carmen Xtravaganza and Yasmine Petty

C☆NDY cites itself as “the first transversal style magazine” and is reportedly named after Candy Darling, the Andy Warhol superstar.

Luis Venegas, founder of C☆NDY, told Style.com that the shoot found inspiration from Vanity Fair’s Hollywood Issue. “It’s the first time such a large number of trans women have been featured on the cover of a magazine,” he stated. “Is it too daring to say that we’ve made history? Time will tell.”

We absolutely love this. Check out two individual shots with Laverne Cox and Geena Rocero below.

laverne

geena
Style – The Huffington Post
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Axl Rose has not been declared the 'world's greatest' singer, contrary to popular stupidity

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You’re the World’s Greatest Mom, Mom, Which Is Why Tonight We’ll Be Dining at Hooters

2014-05-08-MothersDayHootersHuffington.jpg

Dearest Mother,

Happy Mother’s Day!

Was it Joyce that wrote, “Whatever else is unsure in this stinking dunghill of a world a mother’s love is not?” I know exactly what he means. For the past thirty years, I have never once doubted your slavish devotion to me, your best and only child. You are the bedrock, the lynchpin, the gluey Mom-particle slathered across the construction paper of my reality.

When my shoelaces needed tying, who bent down and tied them? You did. When my boo-boos needed bandaging last week, who was there to wipe away the tears and apply immediate, life saving first-aid? You were, that’s who. When that vindictive, alcoholic judge set my bail at fifty thousand dollars, who took out a second mortgage on her home to pay for it? And who forfeited that bail money and lost that home when I crossed the state line to go to the “good” gentleman’s club? I bet you know what I’m going to write next without me even having to write it. That’s just how strong our mother/son bond is.

Sometimes it makes me wonder: is there really ever any way to repay a woman who has given so much? The woman who gave the precious gift of life itself…?

I would say, affirmatively, yes. Yes, there is. You’re the most important woman in my life, Mom, and that’s why we’re going to celebrate YOU this Mother’s Day–at Hooters. The one closest to my house.

Ah! I can already imagine your lips parting in protest! Has motherly selflessness lodged in your breast for so long that you have no vacancies for the thoughtful gesture of a grateful son? Look, Mom, I know you’re worried about the cost, but you don’t have to. As I told you last Christmas when I bought you Marvel’s The Avengers on Blu-ray Disc (and you, bless your thrifty soul, said I shouldn’t have), the central bank of my heart will always print out more money for you. Whatever your heart desires, from a pitcher of our nation’s finest mass-produced domestic beer to a t-shirt that reads “I Got Double Ds in High School,” it’s yours.

That said, given my current fiscal crisis, I’d ask you to limit your entree purchase to $ 10.

Tonight it’s about you and me, Mom. I want to hear more about your craft projects, and how things are going since Dad left us for that young harlot. The farthest thing from my mind will be the parade of busty, apple-bottomed, scantily clad women cooing about what a “darling” and “sweetheart” I am for taking you out on Mother’s Day. When the breasts of Brandi, our waitress, crash into my shoulder blades with all the passion and drama of shifting tectonic plates, it will barely register on my Richter scale. Because I’ll be paying rapt attention to your story about what’s her face who did that thing in your Sunday School class or whatever.

I can’t conceive of a more perfect place to rejoice in the enduring love of mother and son, can you? Everywhere I turn there will be a monument to you. The basket of Buffalo wings upon which we shall snack will be tender and slightly sweet, much like your ever-patient care for me. Everywhere I look I will see your face beaming at mine: from your actual face, which will be right in front of me, to your food face that I will make on my plate out of curly fries (your Pre-Raphaelite tresses!) and a “I-Just-Don’t-Give-A-HOOT” Triple Cheeseburger.

The maternal presence of the Hooters Owl, watching over me with those massive, melon-like eyes, will make me think about things. Big things. Big, heaving things. Big, heaving, sweaty, globular things…

I mean, the big things in life. You know, like, “‘Hoo-hoo’ am I? I’d be nothing without my Mom.”

And just when your heart feels like it is going to burst at a son’s solemn show of love (with you feigning heartburn, but I know you!) I will unveil my last surprise. A literal cherry on top. I will have whispered into Brandi’s ear that it is not only Mother’s Day, but also your birthday. As a chorus line of blondes and redheads and brunettes and even an Asian (remind me to get her number) jiggles and bounces and titters through a rendition of the happy birthday song just for you, I will look over and see the tears in your eyes.

You won’t have to say anything because I know what you’ll be thinking: “I have the best son in the world.”

Love,

Graham
Comedy – The Huffington Post
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